Kennedy winked, once at first, then a second time and finally a third before her eyes remained opened. A sweet light was leaking in by the half-opened shutters but Kennedy put herself deeper in the blankets to find some darkness. A really pleasant warmth was reigning there and the young Slayer stretched all her body in the bed, grumbling with pleasure. Kennedy spread her arm on the side of the bed, in search of the body of her girl. But she met only void. The English young women removed her head from the blankets, winked again in the light of the sun and looked around the room. She was alone. The dark-haired Slayer pricked up her ear and thanks to her Slayer senses, she identified Willow's presence, probably in the kitchen. She settled herself again comfortably under the blankets, dreaming a moment that the witch would appear in the doorstep, breakfast in hands and a roguish smile on her lips. But Kennedy was quickly pulled out from her fantasy by her stomach which twisted painfully, reminding he that as Slayer, she couldn't doubtless wait for a very long time to see if her girlfriend would made her dream come true. The young lady still tried to ignore these calls by plunging even deeper into the bed but realized one instant later that she couldn't escape herself. Knowing that she would have no more rest as long as she wouldn't have swallowed anything substantial, Kennedy grasped the blankets with conviction and threw them back on the side. Then, she sat down on the edge of the bed, sighed before finally getting up and going to the door after having slipped on a tracksuit, which was lying on a chair.
A good smell of coffee, toast and scrambled eggs greeted her when she entered the corridor, which led to the foyer and to the kitchen. The Slayer crossed the last meters at a run and appeared in the kitchen, which was bathed, in a pleasant light. Willow was there, fussing near the counter. She was already dressed and apparently ready to begin her workday. Kennedy joined her in an instant, took place behind her and put her hands around her girlfriend's waistband while kissing her neck tenderly.
Willow turned around and Kennedy immediately frowned when se noticed the dimness and the tired featured of the witch.
« You came back late yesterday evening » she said, in a worried reproachless tone.
Willow sketched a smile, slammed a kiss on the Slayer's cheek and returned again to the task she was busy with before her girlfriend's arrival: cooking scrambled eggs.
« Yes, I was late at the library » answered the witch to the last assertion of her girlfriend. « I cooked the breakfast for you » she went on the same tone, as if both sentences had a logical chain.
Saying this, she gestured vaguely towards the table. Kennedy saw what Willow was talking about : her plate was put on the table and filled with sandwiches, toasts and pancakes. Close to all this, a bowl of smoking coffee waited for her as well as several jars of jam and a tablet of butter. The sight combined to the smell of this breakfast stressed the gurgling of her stomach and Kennedy released Willow, not without kissing her neck again; she went to sit down at the table and begin to taste all the good things that Willow had prepared for her. She began to butter some bread, to cover her pancakes with jam put the whole thing quickly in her eager mouth. Soon, Willow came next to her, a frying pan in her hand and began to put down scrambled eggs in the Slayer's plate. Kennedy didn't waste any time to start them. Then, Willow went to the kitchen sink and began doing the dishes. Kennedy curved a questioning and surprised eyebrow.
« You already eat? » She asked.
Willow shrugged vaguely without turning around and without turning away from her activity.
« I'm not really hungry »
Kennedy swallowed a new short piece of bread then a mouthful of coffee before resuming:
« You look tired »
Willow had a new shrug of shoulder.
« I researched quite late last night »
« Research on what? » The Slayer interrogated again.
« Current demons » answered untidily Willow. And at the evasive tone she answered on, it was evident that her brain was somewhere else.
« Is everything ok ? » Insisted Kennedy.
At this moment, Willow stopped the faucet and put delicately the frying pan she had just washed in the dish drainer.
« Yes, yes » she said on a tone she wanted reassuring but which Kennedy interpreted more as annoyed.
Willow dried her hands with a cloth, which was put on the counter before resting it again then went to Kennedy who was chewing a new sandwich with force. The witch put a new kiss on her girlfriend's cheek, offered her a pale smile and went to the exit.
« I take off, Kenn, I have some work. We meet this evening? »
« At noon? » Asked Kennedy in an hopeful tone.
Hope Willow crushed in an instant while shaking her head.
« I don't think I'll have enough time to come back and have lunch with you. I have a lot of things to do today. »
Kennedy tried so-so to hide her disappointment and shook pathetically her head.
« Ok. Tonight then »
She wanted to get up to kiss the witch but this one had already disappeared and Kennedy heard the front door click while she wasn't still completely standing. She fell again on her chair, a surly look on her face and obviously upset. Her glance remained a moment on the door Willow had before just disappeared through, before moving finally to the jars of jam which throned in front of her in the middle of the dishes of pancakes and toast. Finally, she attacked strongly her breakfast again and decided to release her frustration by swallowing all that her girl had so delicately cooked for her.
-----------------------------------------------------
Kennedy was pacing the room nervously. Her eyebrows were frowned, her eyes darker than ever, the look on her face thoughtful.
Everything was pointing the fact that the dark-haired Slayer was in full "thoughtful" mode. In front of her, Rona and Vi were sat on the single room of the room with their legs crossed and were looking at her with an obviously amused look on their faces.
The three Slayers were used to meet like this, in Vi's or Rona's room, each of them having been lucky enough to get a room of their own.
The two friends were still in nightly underwear. Vi was wearing a basic yellow pajama, which made her look even more childish than usual, while Rona had crossed the corridor to Vi's call in boxer and tee shirt. Both of them had been awaked late the night before, spending the beginning of the evening with Kennedy.
Then, this one had found them both still asleep when she had stormed without warning in Vi's room after swallowing the whole breakfast cooked by Willow. Always easy going, Vi had immediately thought that something important might have happened for Kennedy to wake her up like this. Rona – known to be an awful waker – had been harder to pull out of bed. Fortunately, Kennedy had cared to take down with her, some pancakes in order to be forgiven for that early awakening. And finally, Rona had given in and joined her friends.
"Are you sure that's so serious Kenn?" Vi asked shyly. "Willow's working a lot lately, she's probably really tired…"
"I think too that you're worrying for nothing Kenn" managed Rona, between two mouthful of pancakes. "She came back late after hours of research at the library, it's not the first time I think…"
Kennedy stopped pacing and stood still in front of Vi and Rona.
« She came back REALLY LATE » she said, stressing strongly on the word really. « She never came back home that late, never after me, never after I fall asleep ! » She finally exclaimed.
« Eh, here we are ! » Rona shouted, an exasperated and triumphant look on her face . « You fell asleep before she came back, THAT is your problem. But you know, Kenn, it probably means nothing more than you need sleep. We're patrolling all the time lately, you're tired, that's all »
Kennedy threw her arms to the sky.
« There's something more. It wasn't just yesterday evening. I know she works often late in the library but this morning, she was… weird. »
« Weird ? » Rona repeated, incredulous.
« Weird how ? » asked Vi in a sweet and concerned tone.
« Weird like 'I'm under a spell and I will transform in an ugly-beast' or weird like 'I didn't give Kennedy her normal dose of smoochies for the day' ? »
Kennedy cast a dark glance to Rona but answered nevertheless:
« She nearly didn't say a word this morning, she didn't even talk to me »
« Which fall under which of those two previously aforementioned categories ? » asked Rona in a very serious tone.
Which earn her a new dark look from Kennedy and made Vi severely furrow her brows. Rona gauged her two friends' reaction, then put a very serious look on her face before clearing her throat and turning to Kennedy :
« Listen Kenn, we're asking nothing more than being able to help you. But try to be clear with us…»
She hesitated a second then asked :
« Do you think she's seeing someone else ? »
Kennedy's jaw opened wide in surprise, pointing out clearly to both Slayers that this idea had never crossed her mind even for a second.
« Of course not » she shouted, horrified. « How can you even think such a thing Rona ! Willow is not like this and… How… »
Rona waved her arms to make sign to her to calm down and let her talk.
« Easy, Kenn, easy. But just try to understand, you storm here at the crack of dawn to… »
« It's more than nine o'clock Rona » Vi pointed out, calmly.
Rona shrugged.
« Anyway. it's early for us, it's what I meant. What I mean, Kenn, is that you storm here all panicked 'cause Willow came back late yesterday and wasn't all chit-chat this morning. To me, it seems to be a simple jealousy thing »
Kennedy kept looking at Rona as she had just suggested that Slayers should do Olympics Games. Rona's idea seemed so preposterous that the usually so talky dark-haired Slayer, remained speechless. It was Vi who came to her help.
« It's just really simple Ro » she said in a comprehensive tone. « It's like Willow is not at her best, which actually worries Kennedy who feels like talking about it. So she turns to her friends »
« Us » She add for Rona, as this one haven't follow her train of thoughts.
« There's not something dangerous or supernatural in this. Just a little concerned girlfriend talking about it with her friends. Something really naturally finally. »
Rona looked at her with incredulity and Kennedy flashed her a thankful smile. Rona looked at each of them one after the other and finally gave up and followed Vi's advice. She put herself against the wall behind her and took the most comprehensive tone she could to ask :
« So, tell us clearly what seems... weird?»
Kennedy took a chair, which was tidy near a little table present in the room - the only furniture wih the bed - sat face to face with her friends.
« It's the way she was not talking this morning. She got up without waking me up, cooked the breakfast and left for work just 5 minutes after I got up… »
« She cooked your breakfast, » noticed Rona.
« She ALWAYS cooked breakfast, » answered Kennedy, a flame of love in her eyes.
« And? » asked Rona, who still did not see anything special.
« And? She was nearly not answering when I was talking to her, she didn't wake me up. I'm pretty sure she would have left without even saying a word to me if I hadn't get up. and i would have not seen her before tonight ! It's not like her, that's all. Well, we're talking about Willow here ! Willow who can talk for hours about things you and I have not enough words to just evoke ! Talking Willow, babbling Willow...»
« Ok, Kenn. » interrupted Rona. « I'm with you »
« Maybe she's just concerned about demons, » said Vi. « W faced a lot of attacks lately. With the whole searching Slayers thing in the world, it's a lot to handle for her. She's got a lot of responsabilities. She must be concerned and tired and stressed. »
Rona nodded her head almost with enthusiasm.
« Vi's right ! I think Will just needs a break, Kenn. To get out from work and think about something else»
« Right » Vi added. « I think you should take her out tonight. Forget her job »
« Taking her out ? » asked Kennedy.
« Yeah, get out » resumed Vi. « you could take her to the cinema, or theatre or restaurant, anything ! Something nice and entertaining, just the two of you. »
« That's a great idea » Rona added. « And when you get back home, you can massage her bakc, her feet and… And you'll do whatever you want hey… »
Kennedy nodded slowly her head, letting her friends' idea get through her.
« Well, we did not have so much time for ourselves lately » she said slowly and thoughtfully. « With everything going on, we both had a lot of work. And after all, she's not as strong as us, Slayers. And she has so much more responsibilities. »
She felt silent, seemed to think about it all then her attention returned on Vi and Rona, who were simply looking at her, waiting for whatever she would say. Finally, Kennedy jumped up and put back her chair near the table, while saying to the other two Slayers :
« You're right, she needs some distraction. I'm gonna take her out tonight. I'm gonna see her and ask. Thanks for listening and thanks for the advice. »
Then she went to the door and get out quickly after adding :
« Et sorry for waking you up that soon »
And she was gone.
--------------------------------------------------------------
After thinking about it, Kennedy had finally decided to wait for Willow's lunch pause to execute the idea suggested by Vi and Rona. At noon sharp, she was waiting before the university room where Willow was giving her last lecture of the morning.
Her hands plunged into her black baggy's pockets, a creamy just well adjusted tee-shirt on her back, her brown hair put in a ponytail, the slayer was whistling happily, leant against the wall facing the door, happy with her surprise to the witch.
the lecture ended at noon like it had to, and Kennedy saw the crowd of students get out of the room one after the other. Ten minutes later, Willow exited in her turn, her arms full of books, talking with a student. Kennedy listened to him thank her for her help and looked at him getting away in the corridor while Willow was locking the door.
As soon as she was done, the Slayer crossed the hallway nimbly and took everything the witch was carrying.
« Hey ! You ! » said Willow who had not noticed her before.
« Yeah, me » answered Kennedy, smiling to her before leaning forward to kiss her girlfriend.
She answered the kiss almost mechanically to the great displeasure of the Slayer, before starting walking in the hallway, taking Kennedy with herby the arm.
« What are you doing here ? » Willow asked.
« I... » Kennedy began.
« i told you I won't probably have enough time to have lunch with you » interrupted the redhead.
Kennedy pouted and wearily swallowed, trying quickly to hide her disappointment to the tough behavior of the witch.
« I know, I know » she answered, smiling again. « But I couldn't do without you all day long, so I just came by for a surprise »
Saying this, Kennedy had stopped in front of Willow and kissed her again. For the first time since she had arrived, Willow smiled back. A weary and unsure smile but a smile nevertheless could not help but think the Slayer.
They resumed their walk in silence, Willow lost in her thoughts, Kennedy searching for her words to invite her girlfriend for an entertaining evening.
Willow stopped in front of a door and took back her books from Kennedy's arms.
« Wait here for a sec »
Kennedy did as she was asked and looked Willow entering the room, opening a locker, putting her books in there before coming to her side again.
Both young women resumed their walk in the hallway until they were outside.
« Well, I have a meeting with the Watchers now. Don't you train today? » asked Willow as they stopped on the university parking lot.
« Yeah, yea. » Kennedy answered quickly. « After lunch »
« Well, it's really nice of you to have come by » Willow said, while getting closer to kiss the Slayer « We meet tonight ? »
« Wait Will »
Kennedy held her by her arm as the witch was already turning on her heels. Kennedy carried on Willow interrogating glance and cleared her throat before beginning.
« Well, I know we have a lot of work lately but I think that you could use a little break. I'd like to take you out tonight. We could go the restaurant? just the two of us, could be nice, what do you say ? »
Kennedy looked at Willow, her eyes shining with hope, hoping her girl woud appreciate her idea as much as she was. At first, Willow answered nothing and looked at her in silence, a look slightly incredulous painted on her face. When she finally gave an answer to Kennedy, it was far to be the one the Slayer was waiting for :
« What ? » she said, in a tone where pierced neither happy surprise nor any kind of pleasure.
Kennedy's smile disappeared instantly when she saw the witch's expression but she refused to give up.
« I thought we could go out tonight… » She repeated in a firmer tone.
« I got that Kenn » Willow said. « But how can you suggest something like that? »
« Will… » Kennedy began.
"How can you suggest something like that NOW?" Willow exclaimed, her voice tired and filled with held back anger.
« Will… » repeated Kennedy, chagrined by the redhead's reaction.
« How can you suggest something like that NOW? » repeated Willow. « With everything happening? With everything I have to take care of ? »
« I know Will » answered Kennedy. « I just thought you could use a relaxing evening. You need a break and… »
« No » replied Willow with force.
« Will » insisted Kennedy again, her eyes almost begging, holding back by her wrist a Willow ready to take off.
But Willow did not seem to be ready to let her talk and interrupted her again.
« Listen » she said, trying to keep a casual tone. « I understand that you need to have some fun. You can go out tonight if you want. With Vi and Rona. Or whoever you want. No problem. I have a lot of work anyway. »
« Will, I want to go out with YOU… »
« No » Willow repeated again, shaking her head. « I can't. Don't insist »
Her voice betrayed the redhead's anger et a feeling of elusive illness took over the Slayer in front of these unusual outbursts. Willow got free from Kennedy's grip and took some steps back.
« I really can't. Please, don't insist… » she repeated so low, that Kennedy almost did not hear her.
Then she gave a weak apologizing smile and got away at a quick pace. Kennedy stayed a long moment still looking where the witch had disappeared, searching desperately where she had made a mistake, and a deep feeling of disappointment anchored in her.
« Good job Kenn, great idea… » she grumbled finally taking back shambling the way to the center.
-------------------------------------------------------------
It was a rather fancy bar, whose atmosphere was comfortable and welcoming. The interior decoration was simple and good-tasting, and clientele discreet and with good manners. At the bar, one of the waitress, dark-skinned, with long, curled dark hair was fussing from a client to another, serving drinks, and giving here and there, winks, jokes or comforting words.
At one edge of the bar, a rather young man was obviously trying to get her attention and was laughing with her as soon as he could. A swinging latino music was playing, warming even more the comfortable ambience of the bar.
A cheerful music far far away from Willow's dark mood.
The witch too was at the sat, away from others patrons, a glass full with a dark liquid in front of her. Willow was staring at it absent-mindly and she was so focused on it that any watcher could have imagined she was looking for answers to some mysteries in the bottom of her glass.
Obviously, Willow hadn't drink a lot, if the high level of liquid in her glass was of any indication.
"Don't seem to be really happy"
Willow jumped slightly and put up her head deeply. The waitress was standing in front of her, a sympathic smile on her face.
« Sorry? » asked Willow, who hadn't noticed her getting close, nor hadn't heard her question.
The young woman shook her dark locks and leant on the bar in front of Willow.
« Rough day ? » she asked.
Willow winced slightly.
« No » she said at first. « Not really » she corrected.
Seeing the doubtful look on the face of the waitress, she resumed :
« Well, maybe a little… » She seemed to think about it. « Do i look like to have a rough day ? »
Willow tried to offer a poor smile to the waitress but her lips wouldn't move and the necessary effort to force them to do what she wanted to, felt insurmountable.
« Actually, yes » answered the waitress. « A really rough day »
Willow shrugged.
« I may have a rough day then » she whispered. « Well, I probably had better days »
The waitress looked like she was waiting for her to add something. But nothing came. Then, she lowered her eyes onto the nearly full glass of the redhead.
« I'd buy you a drink » she said, showing the one in front of Willow « But you hardly drink yours »
The sound of a glass hitting the counter made her turn around. she saw the young man from the other side of the bar raising his empty glass to her with a big smile. The waitress turned again to Willow and had a lightly bored sigh.
« Give me a sign when you're done »
Then, she came back to her duty, leaving Willow alone in her own world. A world in which she was so enclosed that she did not notice a fifty-year old man sitting near her and staring at her a few seconds with interest and curiosity.
« Hi » He said finally.
Willow jumped slightly again and turned around to the newcomer. He was rather good-looking, with his graying hair, his pale skin and his clear eyes, hovering between blue and green.
« Hi » answered Willow politely.
« What are you drinking? » asked the man. « Just to help me to choose. Well, although it doesn't seem to be that good, considering the fact you hardly drank »
Willow considered her drink then the stranger again.
« it is, it is, it's good » she said, nodding her head with energy. « It's just rhum-coke » she added to answer the original question.
The man nodded simply.
« So, I'll do like you. I'm going to order a rhum-coke »
Saying this, he gestured to the waitress who came to take his order. When the drink was put in front of him, the man drank two little mouthfuls before his focus returned to Willow.
« My name is John Brice » He said. « I'm here for a business trip. I'm not from here. just like you I would say »
« I'm Willow Rosenberg » answered the redhead.
John smiled warmly, obviously happy to have learned her name.
« You will probably find me really curious but I do have a question to ask if you let me. »
Willow nodded, intrigued by the man's manners.
« i can't help but wonder what a woman like you is doing here. You don't seem to be the type to hang in bars at night. »
« Is there a type to hang in bars at night ? » asked Willow.
The man smiled again.
« You have a point. » he said cheerfully. « But I think if there was a type, it wouldn't be yours. »
Willow stared at him in her turn with curiosity.
« And why this ? » she asked.
« I guess a young woman like you must have a husband or a boyfriend waiting at home." he answered warmly.
Willow hesitated on what to say. The man was right: it was not her type to talk about her life with some stranger met in a bar after some drinks. On the other hand, she had just drunk some mouthfuls and sharing some words with a stranger couldn't harm her.
« A girlfriend actually » she corrected after a few seconds of silence.
John did not look shocked to that revelation. He did not wince or show any sign that he wanted to leave because she was gay.
« A girlfriend then. » he repeated.
He drank a little and Willow did like him.
« Is that because of her that you are here alone? »
Willow hesitated again. She felt strangely secure and nevertheless, her rational side was telling her to keep her feelings and thoughts to herself. Her heart and her desire to confide in someone finally won over her reason.
« No. Well, not really. Actually, she wanted to invite to me to go out tonight »
John Brice looked at her in surprise and egged her on to go on.
« And what's the matter with that ? »
« It's just that... Tonight, I did not feel like having any kind of romantic evening. »
Elle kept quiet and John said nothing, waiting for her to go on herself, which she did almost immediately.
« I didn't want to come home. Didn't want to face her.»
Willow's face had become even gloomier than before and her voice was a breath barely audible.
« And it's not her fault. She has nothing to do with that and she doesn't deserve this. »
Willow turned to the man to see if he understood. he was looking at her straight in the eye, a sympathic and knowing light in his eyes. he did not have time to ask Willow to explain what she meant.
« There're moments… days… I can't stand to be with her. It's stronger than me… »
« And today is one of those days? » asked the man, his voice full of compassion.
Willow nodded. Her hand was strongly holding her now half-empty glass and she was fighting with difficulty the tears she had felt threatening to pour since the morning, or even since the day before or the day before the day before. She could not say. Time did not count yet when she was going through a period like this one.
« Before her… » Explained Willow gently, her eyes staring at her drink. « I was totally in love with another woman. A woman I should have been with forever. We were meant to be forever. I knew it. I believed it… »
Willow stopped, tried not be overwhelmed by the wave of emotions that were assaulting her. She swallowed with difficulty and cleared her throat before going on, even lower than before.
« Today, it's been exactly two years since she has been killed under my eyes. »
Willow did not raise her head and did not see the glistening look John was looking her with. Enclosed in her memories and her pain, all her strength was center on the simple fact to breathe. Breathe in. breathe out. She tried to relax her constricted throat, to chase away the tears that were burning her eyes.
« I understand » John said gently, in a tone he wanted soothing. « I got through this kind of thing myself. Days like this, I guess you blame yourself for having more or less replaced her ? And more than ever, you just wish any of this had never happened »
Willow just nodded.
« It's so unfair. » she whispered. « Sometimes, I just wish she's here with me, I wish she had never been killed. I wish I have another chance »
John put his glass to his lips and drank several mouthfuls. He let alcohol go down his entire throat long and warm up his veins, while looking thoughtfully to the redhead. She was still not moving, her eyes lost in her drink, probably in a world that was only hers. John looked like he was looking for comforting words but finding nothing good enough; he chose to just pat sympathically her shoulder and gave her a warm smile.
