HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2020 is finally over but I'm still on my bullshit. Thank you all so much for your love on this story and your love for Cressida! It warms my heart and keeps me writing honestly haha. The first update of the year is a shorter one, but I do love this chapter because it's just a fun little romp. Thank you to all of my reviewers and those that faved and followed!


The Wheel of Fortune:

Upright: Good Luck, Karma, Life Cycles, Destiny, A Turning Point

Reversed: Bad Luck, Resistance to Change, Breaking Cycles

The train ride back to King's Cross was long and arduous, Dorcas sleeping most of the way and Emmeline was finishing up the last of their assigned homework for the break. Cressida leaned against the frosty window, staring out at the foggy countryside as the pane cooled her hot face.

Her head was aching, mostly from her hangover, but a small part of her wondered if it was her sight going haywire again. It pinched the nerves behind her eyes, and the memories of the previous night and that morning were shuffling like cards in her head, torturing her the entire train ride back.

"Cressida? Cressida are you okay?"

She woke up with a massive headache and a horrible aftertaste in her mouth. It wasn't unfamiliar, but she hated it nevertheless.

A mass of curly black hair entered her vision, accompanied by freckles and a concerned look on James Potter's bespectacled face.

"Hey James," She groaned, shaking her head and trying to gauge her surroundings, "What happened?"

The bed she found herself in was comfortable, red and gold sheets with a silk duvet wrapped around her. She was still dressed in the clothes she wore to the party. Cress groaned as some memories came flooding back to her.

Remus. Lily. The champagne. The voices.

"You don't remember?" James asked, his thick eyebrows knitting themselves together, "Anything?"

It came back to her in flashes, but everything after the voices was a blur. "I remember seeing Lily and...Remus together, but everything after that-"

James let out a frustrated sigh, pinching his forehead and shaking it, "Bloody hell Moony," He turned back to her, grasping her hand in his. It was warm and soft, engulfing her in a sense of peace she had no memory of.

"I went after you and found you ready to collapse," He explained, his usually teasing demeanor replaced with a sympathetic gaze, "When you did, I carried you back to my dorm, which was very gentleman like if I do say so myself. Especially since the alternative was leaving her outside the Ravenclaw room for Trelawney to find you."

Cressida let out a small chuckle, something cold pressed into her hand.

"Drink some water," James instructed, "I mixed it with a bit of invigoration draught. It always helps Sirius feel better after a rough night."

The taste was heaven to her tongue, electrifying her from the inside out, the pain slightly subsiding as she downed the entire concoction.

"I didn't know you were good at potions," She teased slightly, drawing a laugh from James' lips.

"My dad taught me," He smiled fondly, as if recalling a wonderful memory. "He's the best potioneer I know."

"I think Slughorn would disagree."

James laughed again, and the tension fell from her shoulders. But something nagged at her, that small voice claiming that she was weird, she was a freak, someone that didn't deserve to be liked, to joke around with.

But when James looked at her she didn't see any of that in his gaze. There was no apprehension, no skeptical eyebrows or rude laughter.

A yawn pushed itself past her lips and Cressida moved to check her watch, only to realize that she wasn't wearing one.

She blew out a soft sigh and turned back to James, "What time is it?"

He flashed a quick look at his wrist "Uh, almost 5 am, why?"

God, she hated alcohol comas. Pushing the comforter off of her legs, she swung them until they touched the soft carpet of the dorm. "Thank you for this, but I should get back. Dor and Em have probably been worried sick." She searched for her heels and patted herself down to make sure she had everything, "Plus Trelawney's gonna kick my ass when she finds out I missed patrol."

"Didn't you ask for tonight off?"

Cress scoffed, "Of course I did, that doesn't mean she granted it."

Her gaze landed on the pair of torturous heels beside her clutch, pushing through the curtains of the four-poster bed and gently tip-toeing out of the room, careful not to wake anyone else. James followed her until they were at the top of the staircase. "Are you sure this is a good idea? I'm not opposed to waiting until breakfast-"

"No, I'll be fine," She pressed a quick thank you kiss to James's cheek, her smile soft as she began the descent, "Thank you, James, really. I mean it."

"Anytime Tonks."

The warmth of the Gryffindor Common Room greeted her, a soft crackle heard in the fireplace.

"Oh I'm sorry," The words left her mouth before she could stop them, "I didn't realize anyone was down-"

Her voice caught in her throat as that same muted green gaze met her own. "You're still dressed," was all Remus said.

Her temper flared, and she scoffed, "I wasn't feeling well and James decided-"
"No need to explain," Remus shook his head, his tone the exact same it had been that awful day in the classroom, "I can connect the dots."

Her stomach twisted at his words, jaw clenching along with her fist. "For your information, it wasn't like that at all, although I don't see why you care considering you stood me up in the first place."

"I keep telling you, I didn't mean to-"

"You really expect me to believe that-?"

"If you would just listen-"

"I've been trying Remus!" Cress finally exploded, unable to hold back her feelings anymore, "I've asked for an explanation, the bare minimum, but you can't even give me that. Instead, you send Sirius to do your dirty work and then you don't even talk to me, and now you're implying that I'm seeing James when you know I was drunk."

"Are you denying that anything happened?"

"Yes, I am!" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Did Remus really think that little of her? "Nothing happened, although I can see that won't convince you considering what Sirius told you-"

"Don't you dare bring him into this!"

"Why shouldn't I? He's the entire reason this happened!" It was all spilling out of her at once, everything she'd ever held back about the Black boy coming forth in a culmination of her worst thoughts. "He convinced you I was dating Amos when I wasn't, which affected your entire view of me from that point on. You wouldn't listen when I told you otherwise and you're not listening now!"

Remus became a wounded dog, his eyes growing wide and face falling to the ground, refusing to look at her. His mouth opened and closed but he said nothing.

"I wanted to go on a date with you, Remus. I wanted to go to Slughorn's party with you." Cress bit her lip, tears prickling the back of her eyes, waiting to fall, "But you weren't there. And you didn't care."

His gaze met hers again. "Cress wait-"

She didn't want to hear anymore, and slammed the portrait door behind her.

Cressida could still hear it echo in her mind. Every time she relived it, the sound grew louder and louder, rattling like a bell in her brain.

The engine slowed and Cressida moved to grab her trunk and Gaia's carrier. The cat meowed in protest but she didn't care. Emmeline and Dorcas were following suit, neither of them saying anything as they disembarked onto the Platform, tons of students and their parents reuniting with happy smiles and bear hugs.

"I suppose I'll see you at New Year's," Cressida chuckled slightly, still rubbing the headache away.

Her two friends nodded and shared a look. Winter break would be the first test of their new relationship, Cress recalling the long talk the two of them had the other night about long distance.

Emmeline engulfed her in a hug, squeezing tightly. Dorcas' weight joined them and Cressida melted into their embrace. She was going to miss them so much. They knew so much about her, and so much had happened this year she wasn't sure how she was gonna deal only writing letters to them for three weeks.

"Take care of yourself," Emmeline whispered, pulling away and stroking Cress' arm, "And for the love of Merlin, take your meds."
Cressida chuckled.

"I love you guys," She smiled softly, Dorcas and Emmeline's lips twitched upward at the words.

"We love you too," Dorcas answered, going in for another hug.

Cressida sighed as they faced the wall that led to the outside world, grasping her trolley with tight hands. "You guys ready?"
They nodded and ran straight at the brick.


"Cressy!" Ted was the first one to greet her, her older brother sweeping her up in his arms and squeezing her tightly, "Happy Christmas you weirdo!"

She swore she could feel her ribs pressing against her lungs and blew out a gasp, "Ted, I can't-breathe," Her laughter punctured the air between each word, smile growing wide as her hangover disappeared temporarily, her brother setting her back down. "Besides, it's not even Christmas yet."

"Try telling that to your niece," Ted smiled mischievously, and Cressida's eyes widened, her heart skipping as he mentioned the little girl.

"Is she here? Can I see her?"

"I just put her down for a nap," Another voice joined the conversation. Andromeda Tonks was glowing, her long dark tresses cut to her shoulders as her bright grey eyes stuck out against the color. "For a two-year-old, she sleeps quite a bit."

Cressida embraced her sister-in-law, relishing in the floral sweetness that always emanated from her, "It's good to see you, Andromeda," She smiled, the older woman reciprocating.

"You too Cressida,"

Ted moved forward and placed his arm around his wife, gently nuzzling his nose against hers before pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. "Dora wasn't too much trouble was she, love?"

Andromeda sighed and leaned in closer to Ted, "No more than usual, although it would help if you had been up there."

Ted lifted his hands up in mock surrender, "Listen, without Mum around, someone has to be the welcoming party."

Cressida's laughter was forced, knowing exactly where her parents were right now and hating it. Her Mum always took the overnight shifts when she came back from Hogwarts, she had since Ted had gone to school. Papa was usually in his office making more lesson plans or at the school during his office hours.

"I don't suppose there's a place I could put this down," Cressida gestured to her trunk and carrier, which Ted quickly picked up and gestured up the stairs, "Come on Cressy, I've got you covered."

She followed him up to her room, the pale blue walls feeling like home. She missed it. Her dorm wouldn't ever hold the same warmth this room did.

The door squeaked shut and Ted set down her stuff, an expectant look on his face.

"What's up?"

Cressida shrugged, "Nothing. I'm fine."

Ted cocked an eyebrow and engulfed her in one of his famous bear hugs, "Come here."

She melted into his embrace, breathing in and out as she relished the warmth of her older brother. She'd missed him so much. Teasing him, asking him to check over her homework, even his stupid attempt to deter possible boyfriends. God, how she would pay galleons for that now.

Something wet burned against her face and Cressida snuggled deeper into his embrace, shoulders shaking.

Ted began to stroke her back, pressing a kiss into her hair. "Shhhh, hey it's okay. I'm here. I'll always be right here."

Cressida let it all out. Everything she'd been feeling since Halloween poured forth in a waterfall of tears, staining her brother's shirt and clinging to him for some semblance of comfort.


A flash of green made her cough and she felt her knees hit the marble floor of the Potter residence, dusting off her shoulders and legs.

"Cressida!" James's voice boomed through the large empty hall. She had never been to the Potter Manor before, but the high halls and grand staircases intimidated her, especially as she realized she was probably woefully underdressed for the occasion.

Her black dress was the same one she'd worn to Slughorn's party, but Cress couldn't help but feel she should have tried to sew it into a gown or gone shopping beforehand.

James quickly took her coat and gestured toward the rest of the house, "Welcome to my humble abode."

"Humble?" She muttered aloud, eyes widening at the large talking portraits of Potter ancestors and house elves busying themselves in the kitchen.

A giant evergreen tree stood kitty-corner to the fireplace she'd just exploded out of, with floating candles and grand ornaments decorating each limb. The top of the tree nearly reached the top of the vaulted ceiling, a glowing star lighting up the warm fireplace.

"Mum and Dad left for Manila this morning, so I've got the house to myself for another week."

Cressida must have made a face, cause James quickly launched into another explanation, "Some of my dad's side of the family still lives there, and we usually only get to see them at Christmas so…"

"I get it," Cressida stopped him, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, "We never even get to see my Baba unless it's the holiday season."

"Really?" James asked, handing her a flute of champagne, "Any reason why?"

Cressida shrugged. It had just always been that way. Her Mum had never been one for grand family gatherings, especially on her side of the family. Her dad's parents had died a few months before she'd been born, so she'd never even got to meet them, and her mother still refused to talk about the elusive uncle in America.

All of this she related to James, who confided his own family troubles in her. From the large expectations of being the sole heir to the Potter fortune to the schism between the English Potters and the Manila Potters.

"It goes way back to some weird feud my great whatever uncle had with his brother," James explained with a bored look on his face, "Apparently he'd been passed over for something and it just led to this huge family split."

Cressida was fascinated by all of the history James' family seemed to have, hers must have seemed so dull and uninteresting in comparison. James had generations of pureblood wizardry stretching back to the 1300s, while Cressida's earliest trace was the 1920s.

How was she even fit to be a wizard then?

Another whoosh came from the parlor and James set his drink down to greet the new guests. Cressida gulped down the rest of hers and refilled it quickly.

She was going to be surrounded by James' pureblood friends and Gryffindor friends. Most of whom she didn't know. She took another gulp until her glass was empty.

Hopefully, she wouldn't have a repeat of Slughorn's party, but Ted and Andromeda had been on her about taking her meds, always leaving them out on her bedside. She scoffed at how paternal Ted had gotten since Dora's birth. It was sweet. To see him grow out of the manchild he'd been for the last fifteen years.

One by one the manor began to fill up with her classmates and people she recognized, Marlene Mckinnon was hanging on Sirius' arm, the two of them sharing a cigarette as they snuggled together on the couch. She was surprised to see Lily there as well, considering she and James practically hated each other. The redhead was giggling alongside Mary MacDonald and-

Nope. You're not going to think about him tonight. You're not even going to look at him. She told herself. Another gulp of alcohol slid down her throat and burned, the firewhiskey pumping her blood full of adrenaline.

She felt a body bump into her shoulder and came face to face with a pair of watery blue eyes.

"I'm sorry," The fifth-year whimpered, his face turning red.

Cress waved it away, "Don't even worry about it," She giggled, unsure why the world seemed to be swaying. She recognized the straw-hair on his head and the shy look on his face. He was one of James's friends. "Peter right?"

The kid nodded, "And you're Cressida." He bit the inside of his cheek, "Sorry about...you know the hospital wing stuff. I just-"
Cressida took another gulp of firewhiskey and waved his concerns away, "Again, don't worry about it. The past is past haha. And it looks like Black is perfectly fine anyway." Her eyes flitted to the pureblood as she said that, narrowing slightly at the messy way he was snogging Marlene McKinnon.

"You're Remus's girlfriend right?"

Cressida nearly choked on her drink, spitting most of it back into the glass, trying to contain the bubbling mix of anger and laughter in her chest, "No, I am definitely NOT Remus's girlfriend."

Peter blushed again, "Oh, I'm sorry I thought-"

"I totally get it" Cressida waved his apology away again, "But Remus and I are definitely not a thing at all." She took another sip of her drink, "If he could stop being an ass maybe, but not right now."

Peter opened his mouth to say something else but was cut off.

"Okay bitches!" James' drunk voice pierced through the loud music and laughter echoing through the halls. "It's game time and you know what that means!"

He lifted up his hand to reveal an empty beer bottle, and the room devolved into cheers and wolf whistles while Cressida's heart sank to the bottom of her stomach.

"Ah, scratch that James," Sirius retorted, his grey eyes landing on her, "It's no fun if Little Miss Perfect isn't joining in."

A knot in her gut tightened and she downed the rest of her firewhiskey. "Who said I wasn't joining in Black?"

The crowd oohed and Sirius cocked an eyebrow.

A hand grasped her arm and she nearly combusted as Remus' voice tickled her ear. "Cress, what are you doing?"

She shoved past him, ignoring the fire burning in her chest.

Cressida reached down and grabbed the bottle, twisting it in her hands, determined to prove that her invite wasn't a mistake. "In fact, I have an interesting twist of my own."

"Oooh do tell us, Tonks," James goaded her on.

Cressida smirked, refusing to look at Remus. Adrenaline buzzed in her ear and she swore her pulse matched the beat of the music, "When the bottle lands on you, you either have to slap or kiss the person."

An excited murmur skipped over the crowd, and Cressida lifted a finger up to quiet it, "But! The others vote for what they would like to see."

More excited whispers rose up and James bit down on his lip as he took the bottle back from her, "Not bad Tonks," He smirked, "Not bad."

She locked eyes with Sirius again, who sighed and removed his arm from Marlene's shoulders, "Alright, let's get this started shall we? Moony! You're with me."

Remus let out a soft sigh as he collapsed onto the couch, Sirius practically shoving Marlene out of her spot, the blonde whining as he did.

"Okay then," James gestured to Cressida, "Miss Tonks, please do the honor."

Leaning forward with an excited smile, Cress spun the bottle with as much force she could muster. She watched the fateful pointer slow down, wanting to land on anyone except Sirius.

When it finally stopped, grey eyes locked on hers and Cress's lips turned downward.

"Well Little Miss Perfect, that is quite unfortunate isn't it?"
She clenched her hands into fists.

A moment of tense silence fell over the room until Marlene's voice rang out, "I wanna see Cress slap the shit out of him!"

"I second!" Lily yelled out, giggling alongside her fellow Gryffindor, "He deserves it!"

Sirius's face broke out into mock hurt, falling against the couch like he'd been shot by an arrow. "Ugh, Moony save me from this betrayal."

"Sorry mate," Remus smirked, and Cressida had to keep her heart from leaping up into her throat, "But Lily and Lena are right."

"All in favor of a slap?" James asked, raising his hand up in the air. The rest of the group followed suit. "The crowd has spoken."

Cressida pushed herself off the rug and wiped her hands. She'd never been so ready for something in her life.

"Now careful Tonks," Sirius mocked, "I don't want you to bruise your pretty hands with my gorgeous face. It would be a shame if you-"

SMACK!

It echoed throughout the parlor, several cheers ringing out from Marlene and Lily, while James burst into laughter. Vindication pulsed through her veins, and Cress's shoulders grew lighter at the sound. She'd never felt so good in her life.

He deserved it.

"That was for being a dick." She snarled.

Sirius only massaged his jaw, a wry smile crossing his face. "Which time?"

Cressida scoffed and sat back down.

The rest of the game passed in a similar manner. Marlene and Mary MacDonald making out, Peter slapping James, and James snogging Shacklebolt in an over-the-top gesture that made Cressida double over in laughter.

"Alright Moony," Sirius slapped Remus's shoulder, "Do not fuck this up."

"Oh he definitely will," James cut in with a snicker. Peter agreeing enthusiastically.

Remus looked between his four friends and rolled his eyes, the muted green stare meeting Cressida's for the smallest moment before he spun the damn thing. The four marauders waiting in silence, three of them with wide smiles plastered on their faces, red with drunkenness.

Cressida watched with wide eyes, trying to keep her emotions hidden but failing. Her teeth chewed the side of her cheek, watching the glass blur until it finally slowed down.

This time her heart sunk into her stomach, but for an entirely different reason.

Ooohs and cheers rose up from the rest of the party, and Cressida shook her head.

The neck of the bottle was pointing directly at her.

"Oh come on Tonks," Sirius teased, "You're not afraid of a little slap are you?"

"Oh shut up Sirius!" Marlene yelled, taking another drag of her cigarette, "Kiss the girl you bloody fool!"

Remus's face grew flushed and Cressida's cheeks were hot. Her heart beating so fast she was sure it was ready to burst out of her chest.

Apparently, Marlene's idea was the most popular, if the nods and cheers of agreement were any indication.

"I won't if you don't want to," Remus whispered as Cressida stood up.

Cress stared at the expectant crowd around her and shook her head. They wanted a show and she was drunk enough to let it happen. "Let's just get it over with."

Both of them took another breath, and Cressida felt hers hitch slightly. The space between them grew closer, sharing the same air, until their lips crashed against each other.

It was sloppy.

Remus's tongue was moving everywhere and her lips almost felt like they were being sucked up by a vacuum. It wasn't the kiss she'd imagined with him for long. It wasn't the perfect kiss she'd expected.

For a first kiss, it was pretty lame.

The clock struck midnight and she pulled away.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" James and Sirius yelled, using their wands to conjure up fireworks in the manor. Cressida turned away from Remus, staring in awe at the feat of magic the two boys were accomplishing, trying to forget the taste of him on her lips.

Remus could only stare at her.