Act 3

Both witches got out the sickbay and followed new dirty corridors silently during some moments. Willow played and played again the events of the morning in her head with accuracy. First Faith, seriously wounded as she had understood. Then wounded. Wounded girls. Willow had recognized some of them she had known in Sunnydale during the battle against the First. And then Kennedy. Her proud Kennedy, her body mutilated. Kennedy with a missing leg. And finally Tara. Willow turned slightly her head to look at the blonde next to her. It was indeed her. Thinner, more tired than in her memories. But her. And Willow felt overflowing love for the blonde witch. If her mind hadn't been so clouded by Faith and Kennedy's wounds, the redhead would certainly have stopped Tara and would have pulled her in a deserted corner to recall all these sensations which they had shared and which her body was forgetting bit by bit, day after day, night after night.

But she felt that the atmosphere wasn't probably at a merry sexual escapade.

Who or what had thus been able to put Faith and Kennedy, two of the best Slayers of their generation, in such a state? Willow couldn't find the answer and as her steps moved closer to Buffy, she was more and more afraid of what she was going to discover.

Shouting made her jump. Voices she recognized immediately.

« It's insane Buffy! » Roared Xander. « We can't do that! »

« Do you think I propose that with a good heart? That it pleases me? » Answered Buffy on the same tone.

« We can't just do that »

« I'm trying to find a solution! »

« Don't you find that there were enough deaths like that? Did it have to have others? We all up to the last one. We're doing his game »

« I'm doing my best! » Screamed Buffy even louder than before.

Willow quivered hearing both such anger and despair in her best friend's voice. They still crossed some metres and they were in a new room where Willow recognized Giles, Spike, Dawn, Xander and Buffy. She recognized them and nevertheless another part of herself didn't recognize them. All were too long, too dirty hair. Giles and Xander raised both a beard of three days or more. Deep rings marked all their faces and even Spike the immortal seemed exhausted. But Buffy looked the most affected and all Willow's senses went on alert mode, seeing the Slayer's decomposed face, vague glance, arched shoulders. She seemed far older than 23. And was on the edge of getting hysterics.

« You should calm down a little Buffy » recommended Spike with a tired look he tried to make soothing.

But the effect of these words wasn't the one expected. Buffy jumped up literally on her feet and began waving in all directions still shouting louder than previously.

«Nothing's working. And Faith doesn't recover. It's been weeks now that we wait for a remission. »

« I'm not blaming you Buff » answered Xander, trying to contain his voice. « It's not that. But I think it's useless to go out tonight »

« Why are they so many? » Asked Dawn.

Buffy shrugged.

« No idea. But it is certainly no good sign »

Willow saw Giles nodding his head at this comment.

« Anyway, we can tempt nothing as long as Faith is not better » resumed Buffy. « I need her. Or another Slayer … »

« She's dying Buffy » interrupted Tara in a sweet voice.

Buffy turned to her and seemed just to notice her presence and Willow's.

« Hey Buffy » said Willow in an anguished tone.

But Buffy didn't answer her. All her attention was turned to Tara.

« You think she isn't going to pull through? » She asked.

Tara shrugged in sign of ignorance.

« She lost too much blood. Without transfusion, even with her Slayer's regeneration power, she's too weak. I'm not sure she will survive this attack. »

Tara had finished in a trembling voice. Buffy tightened her fists.

« If you think that she won't pull through » she said after a moment of silence.

« Of all the people here, I'm doubtless the one who wants the most that she makes it » said Tara in a firmer tone, supporting Buffy's severe glance.

« We all want her to make it » answered Buffy.

« But not for the same reasons » concluded Tara. « And it's not even a question to envisage a second what you're thinking about »

Tara punctuated her sentence with a firm and decided glance Willow had never seen her use towards Buffy.

« Tara, I know how much you love Faith, and believe me, I don't propose that cheerfully. But am I the only one to see that it's the only solution? »

« No, Buffy » declared Tara firmly and in a slightly trembling voice.

There was a silence Willow felt terribly heavy. She wasn't able to refrain from wanting to bring her help to relieve the atmosphere.

« Why counting only on Faith? » She asked finally in a hesitating voice, looking alternately at all the protagonists. « There are all the others. Ok, Kennedy's pretty bashed up too, but the others? »

Everybody was looking at her with a questioning look, not seeming to see where she wanted to go with that.

« Why not counting on Rona? Or Vi? »

Silence didn't stop. And no glance left her, looking at her with such an intensity that Willow wanted to disappear underground.

« It's not funny Will » said finally Buffy i a tone of steel. « I don't really want to laugh »

Willow twisted her hands I despair, wondering why this reaction. She preferred not to insist. And Tara came to her help.

« She didn't want to say that, Buffy. She's tired today »

Buffy shrugged and her attention turned away from Willow.

« What's the plan then? » She asked in an extreme tired voice turning to Giles and Spike.

Willow stared at the vampire and the watcher with more precision. They were both sat side by side, what Willow found already surprising and their faces reflected the same exhaustion and the same despair.

« I don't know Buffy » answered Giles. « As you saw, it seems very possible that the First collects its troops for a massive attack … »

« The First ! »

Willow had almost shouted the name in a slightly hysteric voice. Everybody turned again to her, and looked at her in the prospect of an explanation. The redhead swallowed with difficulty and eventually asked in a more quiet voice:

« The First returned? »

At first, nobody answered. Willow saw Giles' eyes wrinkle and stare at her intensely. But it was Buffy who answered in the same disenchanted and tired tone as previously:

« The First never left Will »

-------------------------------------------------

" The First never left Will "

Willow looked at Buffy, trying to integrate the words of her friend.

« What…what do you mean by 'never' left ? »

Buffy fixed austere eyes on Willow and her lips wrinkled in an impatient grin.

« Will, what with the questions! You know the First never left, don't you ? Unless you don't understand 'cause he sometimes left us some days of respite to attack again just after. »

« You mean we've never beat the First? »

Again, all glances converged on her and Willow was able to read some surprise and almost distrust on faces.

« But the Scythe » insisted Willow.

« What the Scythe ! » Screamed suddenly Buffy by getting closer to her, an expression mixed with fury and despair on her face. « What about the scythe? »

Willow didn't know what to answer, nor how to react to the explosion of the Slayer. Never, even in her worst moments, the witch had seen the Slayer acting that way and she remained stupid, looking at her without reaction.

"Love..." intervened Spike in a sweet voice. « I think you should … »

« Stop calling that! » Buffy exclaimed, turning around abruptly. « And what should I do according to you? »

« Take some rest ? » Offered Spike, ignoring the Slayer's aggressiveness, an exercise which he was apparently used to.

« Take some rest ? » Asked Buffy in a deep tone. « Take some rest ? Do I have time to rest? »

« You should take it. » Asserted Spike with force.

« I have no time to rest. » Asserted Buffy in the same tone.

"Buffy" intervened Giles with caution. « I do think that Spike is right. You didn't almost sleep for days and I think that we shall have to face an attack this evening. There is nothing that we could do for the moment. You should rest to be ready this evening. »

Buffy was again going to answer but Giles started again before her in a firmer tone.

« Buffy, go and take some rest. I'm going to review the potentials and our arsenal »

They looked at each other for a few seconds fixedly then Buffy turned to Spike who nodded his head in sign of encouragement.

« Very well. If you all agree, I suppose that some hours of sleep won't be too much. Wake me if anything happens »

Giles nodded and sent her a friendly smile.

« We'll do it »

Buffy waved her hand to the whole assembly and left the room under everybody's glance. When she had disappeared from sight, Spike turned to Giles and casually said to him :

« We agree on things. This war really has to stop »

--------------------------------------------------------------------

« Will ? »

Willow jumped when she heard Xander's voice so close to her. Concentrated to observe Tara, Spike and Giles talking about Faith, about potentials and imminent battle, trying to collect all the details, she hadn't heard her best friend's approach. She turned to him and detailed him closer in his turn. As everybody, he looked slimmer. As Giles, he wore a three days uneven beard. As in her memories, he wore a back eye patch on the eye. Apparently, there were some things left of her memories in this mad world. And not the good ones, of course.

« What's wrong Will? » Asked Xander while putting his hand on her shoulder.

Willow frowned and saw the anxiety on the face of the carpenter.

« Nothing particular » she murmured in a halting tone.

« Hey, Will, it's me » protested Xander in a captivating tone. « I know that there's something »

Willow raised her eyes towards him and planted her glance in his. He was smiling, encouraging her to confide in him, reminding her that with him, everything could be said, everything could be understood. This smile finished convincing Willow. She too much needed to talk, to explain, to know more about what surrounded her. And who else than Xander for this? he had always been the good choice.

"OK" she admitted finally. « There is something going on »

« I knew it! » Said Xander triumphantly, before starting again more seriously:

« So what is it Will? »

The redhead looked around them and Xander understood at once her concern.

« Let's go for a walk, » he proposed.

Willow nodded her head.

" Wait for a sec "

She crossed some metres, which separated her from Tara, Dawn, Giles and Spike and smiled tenderly, seeing her girlfriend turning around even before she has reached her.

« I am going for a walk with Xander » she announced.

Tara nodded smiling then moved to her and kissed her with tenderness.

« Ok. I'm going back to the sickbay and see Faith during this time. See you later »

She kissed her again and Willow hesitated, wishing suddenly nothing else than to stay with Tara and to snuggle up to her. But the blonde witch already turned around towards her interlocutors, ready to leave. Willow turned her head and saw Xander who was waiting for her. She took a profound inspiration, cast a last glance to Tara and joined the carpenter.

They went out of the room silently and walked some metres before Xander interrogated her again.

« So Will, what's wrong? »

Willow hesitated on the way of presenting things. She preferred not to attack the problem totally frontally.

« I think I lost some of my memories» she quickly broke out.

Xander stopped walking and looked at her, frowning.

« You lost your memory? » He asked in astonishment.

He seemed to think about it one second before asking again:

« Do you think it's a new trick from the First? We should talk about it to Giles and Buffy … »

« Xander, I would like you tell me what I forgot » the witch asked him without answering his own question. « Please. » She added with a pleading glance.

"OK" said simply Xander. « What do you remember? »

« Tell me everything » Willow insisted. « Since how long this war does last? Tell me everything since the beginning of the First. »

Xander sighed.

« As you want Will. Roughly, it has been one and a half year since the First threatens us and releases its monsters on us one after the other … »

« How come that Tara is there? » Cut suddenly Willow.

Xander sent her a strange glance.

« Why wouldn't she be there Will? »

« Ok. Let's go back farther then. » said the witch whose brain was working at full speed. « Since … Since Warren, what … »

« Warren? » Interrupted Xander, more and more bewildered. « Why are you talking about Warren? »

« What happened to him? » Willow insisted.

« You don't remember that? Warren is in jail Will. Well, maybe not anymore, with everything happening but … »

« Since how long? »

Xander stopped again and pulled Willow with him towards a ruined bench which was lying against a wall on which both sat down.

« Since how long? » Repeated Willow.

« I don't know exactly Will » answered Xander who decided to search his memory, when he saw the disturbed look on her best friend's face. If giving her the answer to this question could make her feel better, then he had to find it.

« Approximately two years » he said finally.

« How did it happen? »

« Buffy kicked his ass and handed him over to the police. It was at the beginning of May, two years ago. »

He kept silent a second, looked for Willow's eyes, which seemed lost in void and resumed:

« I remember that 'cause just after, we had a little good time and it was good after all these months… You and Tara together again, Buffy was better, Spike had left … »

« Xander, Warren never came in Buffy's garden with a gun? »

Xander's confusion became more marked with this question.

« No, Will, never. Why? »

« Nothing happens to Tara? » She asked again in a breath.

« No Will. » Confirmed Xander, more and more worried. « Will, what's going on? »

But Willow didn't seem inclined to answer his questions, drowning him with hers.

« And the year after, the First appeared? And potentials arrived? »

"Yes" confirmed Xander. « And everything began to start again. There were bringers' attacks, uber-vamps' attacks, all these potential to be protected … All these deaths » he finished in a breath, his glance suddenly distant.

« Everybody left » he went on. « Except us. We guard the hellmouth as long as we can. As long as the First didn't decide to crush all of us… »

" The girls " asked Willow. « You said the 'potentials', they are nothing more? »

Xander curved a questioning eyebrow.

« What do you want them to be ? »

« Slayers? » Offered Willow.

Xander didn't know at first what to answer and his mouth opened under surprise.

« Will, you're hiding something from me. What aren't you saying ? »

The witch hesitated a second.

« I'll say everything to you after Xander, but please, go on answering me. »

The young man resigned himself.

« Very well. What do you want to know ? »

« Anya? » Asked abruptly Willow.

Xander's face darkened immediately at the evocation of his ex-girlfriend.

« She's dead Will » he answered curtly. « Approximately one year ago. We tried an attack on the hellmouth. A true massacre. Dozens of potential died. Wood and Anya too. »

« I'm sorry, » said Willow gently, putting a hesitating hand on her friend's arm. He had no reaction.

« Your eye? » She asked then shyly.

"Caleb" He answered at once. « The vineyard. Our first big failure. »

Willow nodded her head.

" I remember that " she says quite low. « We all kicked Buffy out after that … »

Xander deeply raised his head and looked at Willow as if she was crazy.

« What? »

Willow saw incredulity pass in the unique eye of the carpenter and tried to move back.

« No ? »

« Will, of course not! How could we kick Buffy out from her home? We'd never do that »

' Except that I remember doing it' thought Willow while swallowing with difficulty.

« What happened then after that? There wasn't a fight, a revolt? »

« Yeah, yeah … The atmosphere was very tense that evening. And Buffy wanted to return to the vineyard, sure that Caleb was hiding something … »

« And? »

« And you and Tara convinced her to let the girls rest and digest the events while you put up a reckon to discover if there was something in the vineyard. Tara left over there with Faith and Buffy and did a spell to determine if something magic was hidden. It's that way we found the Scythe Buffy cut up Caleb with. »

Willow nodded.

« And after ? » She asked.

« Later, Angel came from LA to give Buffy a stone and we decided to launch this attack on the hellmouth. And that was horrible. The potentials were getting killed so fast that we had to retreat to avoid a general massacre. Since that, we hide in this abandoned building since Buffy's house had almost completely been destroyed by the successive attacks. From time to time, we go out in city to clean some demons and vampires, to prevent them from going out of Sunnydale. Other times, it's them who attack us. And we still found nothing to win. »

Xander wasn't looking at her any more, his eye was fixed to his shoes and Willow wasn't any more really sure than he addressed her when he started again quite low.

« We're waiting for our turn. That he decides to finish it and destroys us all up to the last one. »

« Why didn't he do it? »

« Giles thinks that he enjoys himself, that he wants to kill at first all the potentials. Then the friends. Then Faith. Then Buffy. It's certainly the only reason for which Faith wasn't put out of her misery … »

" What happened to her? » Asked Willow remembering the state in which she had perceived the dark-haired Slayer in the morning. « And to Kennedy? »

Willow saw the carpenter's glance go back up on her and hide be clouded even more at this question.

« Three weeks ago » he began to tell, fixing his shoes again. « We tried a new attack on the bringers, at the vineyard. We had separated in two groups: Buffy, Spike and I with a group of potentials and Faith with a group of more hardened potentials among whom Kennedy and Vi. The attack failed, we were taken away from each other much more than foreseen. There was a whole group of uber with the bringers. We had to retreat in panic. Faith and her group tried to run away using the sewers, through a passage which we had discovered and which led right there. They're the ones to be mainly chased. Some passages in the sewers were half collapsed because of previous traps of the bringers and of the seismic activity lately. While the girls were almost at the exit, uber engaged the fight. Two of the girls were killed without time for the others to do nothing. But they were within an ace to be free. To prevent them from escape, uber made fallen rocks collapse on their way. Kennedy met herself trapped a stuck leg below. Freeing her from there was impossible, especially with the uber attacking. But Faith wouldn't leave her behind. She'd rather die than leaving a survivor to the enemy. Then, she asked Do to… »

« Oh my God » murmured Willow who began to understand.

« Dominic cut Kennedy's leg just below her knee with her own axe while Faith, Vi and Chloe held the uber at some distance. Faith ordered to both girls to help Do to take Kennedy out from there while she fought the uber. They were five on her. The girls disobeyed at first then Faith insisted enough so that Chloe helps Do take Kennedy out . Vi was apparently killed at this moment. Chloe said that the last time she looked, Vi was already dead and Faith was about to disappear under five uber. We found them three almost one hour later, in a nasty state as you can imagine. Do didn't still recover from this. We may say to her that she saved Kennedy's life by doing so, she sees only the fact that she's the one who cut her leg and that she abandoned Faith … »

« And what about Faith? »

« When we got back into a state you can imagine, wounded and less than before, Tara asked where was Faith. At the beginning, we didn't really know and the priority was Kennedy who required immediate care. But later, Tara so insisted that we return that we finally did. Chloe guided us where they had left Faith. And she was still there. Why they didn't kill her, we don't really know. But she was there, in a nasty state really. It's more than a miracle that she survived such wounds. Since then, she lied in a room, a little aside. She hardly resumed some forces. Tara thinks that she won't make it without adapted care. And you know as it's impossible to get adapted care nowadays … »

No, Willow didn't really know. But she guessed.

« Faith and Tara? » Asked suddenly Willow.

« What Faith and Tara? »

« I didn't remember that they were so close » the witch grumbled.

The expression on the redhead's face pulled a smile from Xander.

« They're just friends Will » he said affectionately in an almost amused tone. « It's crazy that you're still jealous of Faith after all this time. You don't really have to. »

Willow shrugged.

« I'm not jealous » she protested. « It's just...surprising. Beside, how did it happen? »

« You know, when Faith returned, nobody was very happy to see her, the First or not. Tara was the only one to be really welcoming. They eventually got attached to one another… »

« Got attached! » Said Willow in a voice a little more high-pitched that she had intended.

Again, Xander had a brief smile and he put a comforting arm around Willow's shoulders.

« Will, Tara loves only you. It's just obvious. »

Willow considered Xander's words carefully and opened her mouth to speak but hesitated a second.

« She… She forgave me? » She finally asked quite low;

« I mean, for the spell, the Tabula Rasa and all … »

Xander stressed the pressure of his arm and smiled more frankly.

« Yes. She forgave everything. She loves only you Will. This Faith jealousy is really out of place … »

« You were fighting about her when we arrived? » asked Willow. « I mean, about Faith? »

Xander became dark again at once at this evocation and had a tired sigh.

« Buffy started again with»

« Started again with what ? »

« Tara and Giles think that if Slayers' powers had made nothing to improve Faith's state for three weeks, then she won't probably make it. You heard Tara like me ? She says that she is dying despite all she does about it »

« And? »

« Then Buffy had this idea that as Faith is going to die anyway and as all the surviving potentials are here, accelerate the process would shorten her sufferings and would give us a second Slayer … »

« Oh my God » murmured Willow opening wide eyes of horror. « Buffy wants to put Faith out of misery?»

«To make it short, that's it» Xander said bitterly.

« I can't believe it » blew Willow. « It's... it's so not her … »

« I 'm not sure there's a lot left of us here you know … »

Silence fell again between both friends. Willow closed her eyes, estimating the weight of what she had just heard, weighing her own resolution. Images and sensations danced in her spirit: Buffy's wild glance, Faith's prostrate shape, Kennedy's missing leg, her damaged hand, Giles' lost air and thinner face… But in the middle of this horrors picture, Tara's smile appeared to her, and this simple vision eases everything, seeming to make bearable death after death, wound after wound, fear after fear. And the following moment, everything was clear in Willow's mind.

« Xander, this world is not real. »

« What? What are you talking about? »

« In my memories » clarified Willow. « This world doesn't exist in my memories. I remember a world where we overcame the First one year ago when we came dow in the hellmouth. I remember a world where Chloe committed suicide a long time ago. I remember a world where Kennedy still has two legs and where Faith is standing up. I remember a world which has nothing to do with this one »

« Will, what are you talking about? »

« Xander, I think this world arises from a spell or a wish or something like that. It's not the world that would have to happen. »

Xander stared at her one moment, wondering if these words which seemed to have no sense at al, could in fact have one.

« Ok, Will » he said finally. « You seem pretty sure of what you say. We should talk about this to Giles »

Willow nodded seriously her head and both friends got up and left to where they had come from.

--------------------------------------------------

« This world could not be real? » Repeated Giles for what seemed to be the hundredth time to Willow.

« Well, it seems to be real » explained Willow. « But it shouldn't have been»

Giles, Xander, Spike and Buffy had listened with big attention to Willow's shortened tale and the witch had been able to see their interest increasing as she described them the world which she remembered.

« How is it possible? » Asked Buffy by turning to Giles.

« This world could have been created by a spell» answered Giles, as he began pacing the room, seeming deeply thinking about the question. « Or by a wish. »

« A wish? » Repeated Xander. « A wish as with a vengeance demon? Giles, Will knows the vengeance demons, she would never do … »

He stopped short and considered Willow.

« Will, did you make a wish? »

The witch shook her head.

« I don't think so » she said. « No vengeance demon appeared to me. »

Giles looked at her too with an inquisitive look on his face for some seconds.

« Did you talk to anybody unusual recently? Or did something unusual? »

Willow lowered her eyes, suddenly very embarrassed about her evening of the day before.

« Actually yes. » She eventually admitted. « I went to take a drink in a bar yesterday evening. »

« Will! » Buffy exclaimed in astonishment. « Alone? » She added unbelieving.

Willow nodded.

" Yeah, alone " she confirmed.

« Did you talk to anybody? » Asked Giles again.

« Of course ! » Willow exclaimed while searching desperately her memories. « I talked with the waitress and with another customer who was in the bar with me! »

« Willow! » They exclaimed all at the same time.

« Are you sure that a world where Willow is going to drink alone in a bar is better than this one? » Asked Spike in a sarcastic tone.

But nobody paid attention to him.

« Did you make a wish? » Insisted Giles.

« I don't know! » Willow shouted, feeling suddenly uneasy in front of the inquisitive looks of her friends.

Then her eyes became round while her conversation with John came back to her.

"Oops" she said simply, putting both hands in front of her mouth.

« Will, tell me you didn't wish we all have our asses kicked by the First? » Asked Xander, half joking, half serious.

« What did you wish? » Interrogated Giles very seriously.

Willow raised her eyes towards him and closed them half a second, becoming impregnated with Tara's presence she could feel somewhere in the building.

« I wished that Tara wasn't killed. »

A deathly silence punctuated this statement.

« What? » Said finally Buffy. « Tara isn't dead … »

Willow planted her green eyes in Buffy's.

« In the world I remember, she is. »

« What I don't understand » began Giles after a new silence while he had removed his glasses and began to clean them with an end of dirty tissue found in his pocket. « How Tara's death could have influenced events in that direction … »

Giles looked at Willow but this one answered nothing, replaying in her head this damned day, delaying the moment when she should tell it to these versions of her friends who hadn't lived it.

« What didn't you tell us Will? » Interrogated Buffy while putting an encouraging hand on her shoulder.

« She was killed by Warren. » Said abruptly the witch.

« Warren? But Buffy handed him over to the police.. » Xander intervened.

« Not in the reality. » Cut Willow whose glance dived towards her shoes. « In the reality, Warren escaped Buffy. Only Andrew and Jonathan were arrested. And the day after … »

Willow stopped a second, took a profound inspiration to give herself some courage.

« The day after, Warren came to Buffy's with a gun. Buffy and Xander were in the garden, behind. He fired at Buffy, then in the air to protect his flight. A bullet crossed the window of my room where I was with Tara and pierced her chest. She was killed outright, just in front of me … »

Willow finished her story in a rustle and had to fight against herself not to cry. If she had been able to raise her eyes, she would have seen that all the faces around her were struck with an expression of horror. But the only thing at which she could look was the end of her used shoes.

« My God, Tara » murmured Buffy.

« I … I don't still see how... » began Giles.

« After that » Willow interrupted him so low that everyone got closer to hear the end. « I … I got lost … I wanted revenge. I went to the magic box. I sucked up the power of all the dark magic books. I chased and personally killed Warren. »

« Oh my God » repeated Buffy.

« But it wasn't enough. I also wanted Jonathan and Andrew. You all wanted to prevent me from killing them. I faced you. I faced Giles to whom the Covens had confided their powers. I stole them to him. And I wanted to destroy the world … »

" Dear Lord " murmured Giles, more horrified with every word the redhead pronounced. « And Buffy prevented you from doing it? »

« No. Xander did »

Willow raised her head. On the shocked faces of her friends, she read no judgment. Just incredulity and evident shock.

« And thus.. » Continued Giles who tried desperately to collect the details of the puzzle. « This power which you acquired by doing do … »

« Apparently allowed us to make tilt the balance on our part. » Finished Willow.

« You destroyed the First? »

Willow shook her head.

" No. Just before the descent in the hellmouth, I used the Scythe to make all the potentials Slayers. All of them. And it allowed you to last enough time so that the stone that Angel gave to Buffy acts and closes definitively the hellmouth. »

« Definitively? »

Willow nodded.

" Yes. Sunnydale has been swallowed and we all left to live somewhere else. There are henceforth hundreds of Slayers in the world. You aren't the only one anymore Buffy. The weight of the world isn't on your shoulders any more … »

Willow fixed her glance in Buffy's in which the flame of hope danced henceforth again.

« So...so, it's possible » murmured the blonde Slayer. « To overcome the First, it's possible … »

Willow approved.

" You have to take back your wish, Willow. " Declared suddenly Giles.

All turned to him.

« You have to take back your wish » repeated Giles, looking at her fixedly.

« Giles if I do that, Tara … »

« If you don't, the First will eventually win. »

« I could make awake all the Slayers. With the scythe. And we shall come down again in the hellmouth. As we did in my memories. »

« Willow, you may not be able of this in this world. »

« Giles, we could try! » Protested Buffy.

« And even if it was the case » resumed Giles. « All these deaths for one year … All these people weren't intended to die … And does it remain enough potential to lead this attack? Faith is dying. It is very risky. And in case of failure … »

Nobody found anything to answer. Buffy looked for an objection but nothing convincing came to her and she remained silent too.

« Willow, you have to call D'Hoffryn and convince him to take back your wish. »

"Giles" murmured Willow who felt tears returning in her eyes. « I can't do that … I can't lose her again. I can't lose her a second time »

« Willow, you won't have any memory of this experience» murmured Giles in a sweet voice. « None of us is asking you to do that of cheerfully. Tara was so formidable during all these months… But the stake in all this exceeds our self-interests from a great distance. I know that you are aware of this … »

« Giles … » Begged Willow.

" You have to do it Will "

All jumped and turned around to see Tara, casually rested against the frame of the door.

« You have to do it, Will » she repeated, a sad smile on her face.

Tara moved in the room and a heavy silence greeted her entrance. Concentrated as they all were on Willow's story, no member of the group had noticed her arrival several minutes earlier. The blonde witch reached the group and offered a forced smile forced to all. None of them dared to face her, excepted Willow. Tara slid her hand in hers and attracted her against her.

"Tara" began Giles still without looking at her directly.

But the young woman didn't let him go on and she fixed her clear eyes on his elusive face.

« I know Giles. I know » she said simply.

Then she squeezed Willow's hand stronger and her eyes returned on her.

« We're going to take everything needed for the call spell? »

Willow answered nothing and looked at her without making a gesture, putting on her pleading eyes. Tara still strengthened the pressure.

« We're going sweetie? »

The redhead eventually nodded her head and Tara pulled her with her in the corridor after waving a vague « see you later » to the others.

Both young woman walked silently, Tara holding Willow by her waist and this one having her head rested on her girlfriend's shoulder. It was only once in their room, when Tara began searching in the dresser's drawers that Willow found her voice.

« I don't think I can do that Tara … »

Tara turned around and returned towards her, put her two hands on her shoulders and massaged them slowly.

« I know it's hard sweetie. And it's hard for me too you know … I don't wanna die … »

Willow raised her eyes and was able to see tears, which threatened to escape from the blonde witch's eyes.

"Not like that" continued Tara. « I would so much like to know this world you talked about. Everything seemed so perfect there … »

« A world without you can't be perfect » Willow cut her quite low but determinedly.

« Will, I couldn't live knowing my death could have avoided this slaughter. These kids die day after day under our eyes, one after the other. Faith is dying, Buffy more desperate than I have never seen her. We are all exhausted, frightened … And all this, by my fault? »

« No! No! » Protested Willow. « It isn't your fault baby, it's just a coincidence, it's me … »

The silence fell between them, only interrupted with sniffing each of them tried to master with more or less success.

« Tara, in the world I remember, I became all you would hate the most. I became a monster you'd hate… I don't want you to hate me … »

Tara hugged the redhead tenderly and put down a kiss on her forehead.

« Will, I can't hate you, whatever happens. Be always sure of that. Whatever happens, I know that a part of me will always love you »

Again, the silence. Willow wrapped her arms around Tara and let freely flow her tears henceforth into the hollow of the blonde witch's neck.

« Will … After … After my death … Did you meet someone else? »

Willow deeply raised her head and looked at her lover in astonishment and shame. She was going to open her mouth to babble an answer when Tara interrupted her before she had the time to dash.

« No, don't answer. I don't think that I wanna know finally »

Tara tightened Willow against her and the redhead inspired profoundly the flavor which got free of the sweet skin of the blonde as to become impregnated with it and never forget it.

« I hope so » added Tara in a slightly trembling voice. « I want you to be happy Will. With or without me, that's the only thing that matters. »

« I don't know if I could baby » blew Willow, squeezing Tara more and more against her. « As I know that we could have been together, that we could have worked … despite everything, despite all these horrors … That could work … »

« It works, Will … But it's not what was intended to happen » added slowly Tara, caressing the redhead's back with tenderness. « It wasn't intended to happen … »