"Ohoho, Itachi-kun, I see now, you are our new transfer student," the school director said jovially as he rummaged through his papers. "Indeed I received your transfer papers this morning. Tea?"
"No, thank you," Itachi replied politely. "I will go to my class now. Can you give me the school's blueprints and security details?"
The man laughed like thunder. "There is a blueprint with all exits marked on each floor. As for security? We have a groundskeeper, but we are innovative, modern! We do not even keep janitors, no, we mold young minds, this is a school Itachi-kun. The students learn how to take care after themselves."
So absolutely no security. Wonderful. He turned to leave.
The man stopped him. "Wait, Itachi-kun," he called, "As you know, you are the first of a project concerning Helping People with Disadvantageous Upbringing. The Matsudaira Group is famous for their philanthropy, and their daughter, Matsudaira Ichiko is continuing the family tradition."
Itachi turned back to the director and waited.
"Two years ago, in an effort to improve lifestyle, she gave free phones to the poor in five smaller villages on the outskirts of the Fire Country, close to the border with Ame. They sold most of the phones to Ame and bought cattle and rice so the phones did help." The director grinned.
Itachi got a sense of foreboding.
"You are not the only brilliant mind that was unfortunately raised in less than ideal circumstances to form a healthy mind, but this time Matsudaira-san was persuaded to start on a smaller scale than previously."
"…I am expected to guard her, is that not correct?" Itachi asked. It was good he received more intel, but he could not shake a sense of wrongness.
The director beamed. "You are expected to live a normal student life first and foremost."
"But how am I supposed to guard her then?" Itachi demanded. "Are there no assassination attempts?" He almost wished for it to happen daily.
"Ah, as a matter of fact, there was one, six months ago, by some Ame shinobi." The director smiled. "He's our physical education teacher now."
"What?" Itachi shouted in outrage. He suddenly remembered his father snapping easier than usual, walking around with a gloomy expression on his face and leaking killing intent all over the house until mother told him to stuff it. "Was the proposal accepted somewhere in Shiwasu, around Oshougatsu?"
The director chuckled. "It was around the time of the New Year Celebrations, yes. Matsudaira-san wants to connect people, and believes in second chances so she insisted. This is why this school is cosmopolitan, a feat rarely seen in any of the shinobi countries. There is a Second Year from Iron, two Second Years from Iwa and a First Year from Kiri."
"Are all of them shinobi?" Itachi asked, the cold foreboding feeling spreading to his limbs.
"They are all from disadvantaged backgrounds," the director replied. "This includes shinobi but does not exclude anybody else. Matsudaira-san's motto is 'inclusive, not exclusive'".
Great, a non-answer. He needed to ask his father, which was putting him at a disadvantage.
"Thank you for the intel, Kouchou-Sama, I will take my leave then."
"So old fashioned, Itachi-kun," the director chuckled, making his hackles raise, "but call me Kouchou-sensei. I am the History teacher, you know."
Itachi nodded. He hadn't known, because he had not received any intel on the mission, only the books. Judging by what Kouchou-sama had said, it must have been intentional.
"-need to be accompanied by your homeroom teacher at first. But he's late…the chemistry teacher, Chuuma-sensei. Hmmm he should be in his lab, I think. Do you know how to get there?"
"I have not received the school blueprints yet," Itachi reminded him blandly. "But I will manage."
The director seemed at a loss. In the following silence, there was a polite knock at the door. "Enter," the director said with visible relief.
A boy with shoulder length hair and a blazer on despite the humid heat, sauntered in with three thick files. "The proposals and budgets for the Cultural Festival," he announced merrily.
The director's face lit up. "Ah, Shinba-kun!" He exclaimed. "Take Itachi-kun to Class 2-5. Where is Chuuma-sensei?"
"In the nurse's office. Knocked himself out. Kirito-sensei said he needs to rest for two hours at least."
"Kirito-sensei?" Itachi inquired politely.
"Our physics Ed' teacher," the director explained. "He doubles as a nurse. Since he's from Ame, he knows his way around needles," the director grinned, waggling his eyebrows. The boy snorted. Itachi remained impassive. He must investigate the teacher first.
The director cleared his throat. "Well then, good luck, Itachi-kun."
"I will do my best," Itachi replied politely, neutrally and followed Shinba out.
The boy smiled at him. "I am Agata Shinba, third year and General Affairs Manager for the Student Council."
Itachi Inclined his head. "Uchiha Itachi. May I see a blueprint of the school, senpai?"
Shinba-san grinned. "Of course," he chirped. "There's one next to the stairwell."
"So how do you find the uniform?" He asked after Itachi glanced at the map, committing it to memory. "I see you fidgeting with the necktie. Do you need help with the knot?"
"The tie is a noose waiting for the right moment to strangle the life out of us," Itachi replied in a monotone.
The boy laughed. Itachi didn't.
The boy gave another awkward laugh."So ah, I wanted to meet you, Itachi-kun, it's great that I managed that before your first class."
Itachi looked at him sharply. "The Student Council all voted on who to bring here to the school, it wasn't just Mimorin."
"Mimorin?"
"Ah, Matsudaira-san, she is our Treasurer."
Shinba looked searchingly at him. "But it's amazing how you look sixteen. You're barely thirteen, right? Tsubaki was so happy you are smart, he gets really bored sometimes."
Itachi tensed at the boy's blabbing. It seemed more people knew his personal information, not just the director. The data leak was astounding. Hearing running footsteps approaching rapidly, he stopped and faced the corridor.
Shinba threw him a concerned look. "Itachi-kun? We haven't arrived yet-"
A teenager dressed in blue hakama, a bokken at his hip and old style toe sandals on his feet jumped on the corridor from the stairs, his momentul making him crash into the opposite wall. His tabi socks were black. "Shinba-dono!" The young man's voice boomed. "Your humble servant is aiding Yumekawa-dono search for her pen. Didst thou see it? Tis' pink with Smiling Momo on it."
Shinba smiled. He smiled a lot, Itachi thought, even when he wanted to strangle someone. "I have not seen it, no. Do not run into the halls, Shinzo-san. And please wear the uniform."
Shinzo laughed boisterously. "But this is my uniform, nay, my battle gear, for a samurai must be always ready. Your humble servant didst give up his katana at the entrance and is only using a mere practice sword."
Shimba looked on skeptically. "Didn't you crack open that guy's head with your practice sword, Shinzo?"
"That miscreant deserved it, Shinba-dono!" Shinzo replied indignantly. His eyes alighted to Itachi. "And who is this most esteemed personnage?" He asked as he approached rapidly.
Itachi tensed and shifted slightly so he had a better stance. The samurai stopped in front of him and bowed. "Shinzo Shigenori, Class 2-3, your most humble servant."
Itachi bowed. "Uchiha Itachi."
"Itachi-dono!" Shinzo exclaimed. "Tis indeed a most fortuitous day! For I have heard many wondrous things of yer exploits."
Itachi needed to find the information leak and plug it. Permanently. "I hath heard ye are a person of warrior inclination, just like yer humble servant."
"Shinobi," Itachi confirmed.
"Aha!" Shinzo explained happily. "Exalted Itachi-dono, this means we must do it!"
"I was informed that duels are prohibited," Itachi replied warily.
"What are you talking about, Itachi-dono? Let's exchange addresses," Shinzo replied, beaming as he rummaged through his sleeves. "But you can come to our club practice as well, come to think of it." He fished out a flip phone decorated with samurai stickers. A Michinaga Samurai doll two times bigger than the phone dangled from the phone antenna. The high quality was enough to clue him in as to the young man's social status.
"I don't have a phone," Itachi said neutrally.
It was almost funny how Shinzo's expression changed to crestfallen. "Don't have a phone, Itachi-dono? What happened? Did you break it while escaping pursuit from a dozen enemies and went through fire and ice to escape?
"No," Itachi replied drily, "I never had one."
"Never had one?" Shinzo replied dumbfounded as he looked from Itachi to Shinba.
"Hey guys," a new voice interfered, "found Yumekawa-san's glitter pen. Oh, The Student Council."
Shinzo whirled back to the newcomer. "Bocchan-dono, this is an emergency!" He exclaimed. "Itachi-dono here never had a phone! Help him!"
"So you are the ninja?" Bocchan asked excitedly as he practically shoved his face into Itachi's like an excited puppy. "Yataru told me you graduated ninja school at 6, got the spinny eyes at 8 and made chuunin at 10 and got promoted to ANBU, codename Fox and your last mission was in Iwa?"
Itachi immediately went on alert mode. Had he managed to find the original information leak? "Who is Yataru?"
Bocchan grinned. "My minion. Ah, now that I think about it, I think he might have a spare phone, let's go!"
He suddenly looked up. "Nonoka!" He yelled. "Takahashi entered the girl's toilets again. Third floor B, left side!"
There was a howl in answer, the sound of a door banging in the distance and a yelp.
Itachi quickly reassessed the boy's threat level. It seemed they had a team made up of a sensor, an intel gatherer and if the howl was anything to go by, a fighter.
"Are you a Konoha citizen?" He asked Bocchan as they walked towards the club. Shinba had excused himself as he hurried to solve the Takahashi problem peacefully.
Bocchan grinned. "Born and raised here," he said proudly.
"And the others?"
"Yataru is the same. Only Nonoka transferred here last year."
"Where from?"
"I don't know the school," Bocchan admitted. "But she's from Iwa."
So he had found the Iwa shinobi. Then, were these two innocent or was there a plot? And why had she come one year and a half earlier? The mysteries kept piling up. What was a civilian sensor of that calibre doing in normal school?
Shinzo the Iron transfer student kept them company, blabbing all the while. "Itachi-dono, phones are amazing. See, you can add straps and there are these stickers you can decorate your case as well, and there are so many ringtones and games-"
The clubroom was quite close, just on the left corridor. It would have been hard to miss. The kanji for "Helpers Club" took half of the door's height, big, bold and colourful.
"They glow at night," Bocchan winked as he slammed the door open.
A boy with glasses, Yataru most likely, was seated at a table playing a game on his flip phone. Miscellaneous bits and pieces of electrical equipment wires were strewn in front of him. In the middle of a contraption, a lightbulb blinked erratically.
Directly across the room there was a sofa and a low table with two chairs. A blond haired girl looked up in confusion. She threw a narrow eyed look at Itachi then went to the side, took five chawan on a plate and arranged all on the table.
"Hey, Yataru, do you have a spare phone?" Bocchan asked without preamble.
The other boy hummed. "I think I have an old one, let me look…" he got up and started rummaging through a cupboard, then came back with a cardboard box which he put on the lower table with a grunt. There were suspicious clinks, clicks and cracking sounds. Itachi had time to see the "failed inventions/danger zone/do not open again" label before the boy carelessly ripped it and opened the box.
"There it is," he said, passing the phone to Itachi. It was covered in paper seals used for demon containment. Itachi warily picked it up. It felt…clammy. Like a dead slimy slug.
"Open it, Itachi dono, flip it!" Shinzou encouraged him.
Itachi broke the seals, a bead of sweat running down his spine.
The phone opened. The screen was black.
"There's a button there to turn it on," Bocchan said helpfully as he hovered at Itachi's shoulder. They were all pressing so close he was getting paranoid.
"I don't think I want to turn this phone on," Itachi said sincerely.
"Now, now, if you are always so shy you'll never get lucky in love," Yataru quipped as his glasses glinted mockingly.
"HAAAH? What does that have to do with anything?" Bocchan shouted before Itachi could give a retort or stuff the phone down his throat.
He sighed and pressed the indicated button. The screen flickered, the phone vibrated. Then the screen went red, with black inky script flowing in the middle like blood.
"Well, look at that " Bocchan said nervously. "It said 'welcome'."
"It must like you," Yataru mused, "the last person who tried using it was cursed with blindness the moment they tried using it."
Itachi fought to not close his eyes. They knew he was a dojutsu user. He wanted to curse them literally and figuratively.
"Look, Itachi-kun, a strap for you," Nonoka said with a friendly smile.
"…That's a straw curse doll," Itachi said.
"And a sticker so it's better," Shinzo said eagerly.
Itachi looked at it. "Akuryo taisan? Remove evil?I am not going to use it," Itachi repeated firmly.
At his words, the screen changed. "Want to play?" It read as a tinny, eerie song started playing.
Itachi incinerated it with a well placed katon before he could help himself.
"I apologise," he said stiffly. "I will pay for the damage."
Their astonished expressions cleared. "Wow, so you're the real deal!" Bocchan exclaimed. "That was so cool!"
"Oh, no, Itachi-dono you are cursed!" Shinzo exclaimed. Itachi felt himself tense. Three charged seconds that felt like an eternity passed then the others started laughing.
"It was a joke phone," Yataru explained. "We wanted to give you a proper welcome when we heard you'd come."
"We'll get you a new phone," Bocchan promised. "But in exchange, will you help us with the club?
"I don't need a phone. I will not stay in this club," Itachi said firmly. They were suspicious as hell but he had had enough of them. He could observe them from a distance. He did not have the time to deal with them on top of all his missions.
Bocchan looked disappointed. "Are you in another club then?"
"No."
"You have to be in a club," he said triumphantly.
"But not yours," Itachi shot back.
"Hmpf. Please, please pretty please?" He asked beseechingly. "I will-I will cry."
Itachi closed his eyes, not bothering to answer that. "So I need to choose a club," he stated.
Bocchan nodded eagerly.
"Shinzo, is there a tea club?"
"A tea club, Itachi-dono? I think so, yes."
"Then it's settled," Itachi replied.
Bocchan pouted but then cheered up immediately. "Nice to see you have a hobby. We'll cheer you on. My little brother is in the tea club as well so I can come visit-"
Fortunately the bell rang, and Itachi understood for the first time the phrase "saved by the bell."
"You have to come and drink the tea after the classes are over!" Bocchan shouted after him. "We have to go shopping for your phone. Wait, I should accompany you to the class-"
"I know the way," Itachi hurried to answer. Class would definitely be better.
He was wrong.
