Act 4

They had closed the main entrances of the room, which served as place of meeting. The men had loosened the center of the room where henceforth Giles and Dawn were arranging some of the ingredients brought by this witches with care.

Giles had insisted on hurrying to try to make Willow take back her wish because the night wasn't very far and he dreaded a massive attack from the First. Buffy had approved unwillingly the decision to precipitate their action and Tara had just nodded her head and asked for some more time with Faith. Willow who refused to leave her for a second, had suggested coming with her Tara had declined. Willow thus had to resolve to wait for the fateful hour, looking from a corner of the room, at Dawn and Giles preparing what she refused to do herself.

« Hey, you OK? »

Willow tore away from her reverie to turn to Buffy who had just put her hand on her shoulder. The Slayer's voice wanted to be sweet and she tried to show a friendly smile on her face. A smile of best friend, thought Willow.

"You OK?" Buffy repeated friendly, while Willow remained dumb.

The redhead fixed her glance to the face of her friend. The exhaustion she had seen there earlier was still there. The marks left by months of fights and pain too. But something had changed. In the back of the blonde Slayer's eyes, Willow now perceived hope. And even deeper, envy. Envy for this life Willow had described. A life without vampires, nor demons. Just she and Dawn in Rome.

And Willow felt her entrails twisting between the pleasure and the disgust this Buffy's revival inspired her. Pleasure to see her friend finding one ounce of hope. Disgust because Tara's life was the price to pay for it.

« No, you're not ok» answered finally Buffy for her. « It was a stupid question, wasn't it? »

Willow offered her a weak smile. A part of her wanted to scream how much the question she had just asked was stupid and how much the answer was evident. But this part kept silent and left the word to a more quiet Willow.

« We find rarely good things to say in this type of situation I think » she answered in a monotonous tone.

Buffy perched herself on a table which had been pushed against the wall beside the wall Willow was leant against.

« It's unfair » chained Willow. « This morning, life seemed so beautiful. Oh of course, I knew that there was something weird beneath. But she was there. You can't imagine how it was to feel her again near me, to inhale her smell, to hear the sound of her voice … I thought I was dreaming awakened. »

Willow kept silent and Buffy contented with watching her returning in these moments of short-lived happiness.

« And then with every step I made in these corridors » resumed the redhead. « Every meeting, every word, the dream was transformed bit by bit into nightmare. Tara friend with a dying Faith. Kennedy and her leg cut with an axe. All these potentials hurt. Rona, Vi, Robin. All killed. And you all. Your frantic looks. This despair which seems almost alive as much I feel it every time I breathe. »

Willow kept silent again. Buffy looked for her glance but her friend's eyes fixed an indefinite point to the wall on the other side of the room. The Slayer wanted to say something, anything who could bring a little comfort to the witch. But her brain seemed to refuse to succeed in collecting a coherent idea. And after a moment of silence, Willow turned finally to her.

« But you see, I would have been able to go on living that nightmare. Because her presence made it bearable. But that can't work like that. There're always choices to be made. Unfair choices. Her death made tilt the balance Buffy. »

Willow's voice trailed off slightly on these last words and Buffy wasn't able to refrain from attracting the witch towards her to bring her little comfort she could.

« And knowing that this is going to save the world doesn't make things a little easier ? » She asked friendly while Willow allowed herself to relax into her arms.

Buffy felt Willow shaking her head against her shoulder.

"No" she answered quite low. « No and maybe it should. I shouldn't even be there at the moment. But thinking that I'm going to be separated from her once again … »

Willow didn't finish and moved on to something else, still motionless against Buffy's body.

« Yesterday, I would have given anything for one more day with her. And now that this day had been given to me, I think it's just worse … »

Buffy put her two arms around her friend's shoulders and squeezed her against her, moved to tears by the despair she seemed to have exchanged with Willow.

« Will, is there anything or anybody who waits for you in this other world? »

« yeah, yeah » answered Willow after a time of hesitance during which she saw again the silhouette of "her" Kennedy. Strong, proud, passionate. « You wouldn't believe who » she added in a lighter tone.

Buffy raised Willow so that both girls were face to face again.

« Don't tell me Faith, Will » she said half serious.

Willow let escape a small laughter and wiped her tears with her hand.

« No, no. And now that I know that she and Tara would have been able to be so close, it's just even more unlikely! » She added with a grin.

« Jealous! » joked Buffy, happy to see a smile - as light as it was - returning on the face of her best friend.

Willow shrugged untidily, then turned to the main entrance while Tara crossed it at the same moment.

« I think it's time » she said, becoming dark again immediately.

Buffy nodded and jumped at the foot of her perch while Willow already went away to join Tara. Buffy rushed to hold her and caught her by the wrist.

« Will… »

The witch turned around and considered her with questioning eyes. Buffy's lips wrinkled in a hesitating smile and her mouth opened a first time without her saying nothing, before she finally broke simply:

« I just wanted you to know how much I'm sorry … »

Willow frowned, not sure to understand exactly what the Slayer was talking about.

« For failing » clarified Buffy. « For Warren. For Tara »

Willow looked at her silently, looking maybe for something to answer. Both friends so stayed some seconds silently considering each other. Finally, Willow smiled simply to Buffy before turning around again towards the center of the room.

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The incantation hadn't lasted for a long time. Willow had already called D'Hoffryn and she repeated the words automatically as a lesson well learnt, sat in the middle of a circle drawn by Giles, her hand on her face. Around her, she could feel the tension of all her friends grew as she chanted the words.

When she finally had ended, Willow opened slowly her eyes and lowered her hand, which was masking her eyes. She wasn't able to prevent her heart from squeezing up when she saw the silhouette which was standing in front of her and who looked at her with an almost austere look on his face.

« Miss Rosenberg. Happy to see you again » said simply D'Hoffryn.

Willow sketched a discreet smile of welcome although at this moment, even more than previously, she found no reason, which could give her the urge to smile. While D'Hoffryn looked at her in prospect, Willow forced to remember the reason why she had called upon the boss of the vengeance demons.

"D' Hoffryn" she said simply, knowing what she then had to say but unable to formulate the words.

« Why did you ask me? » the demon pressed her, fixing her with an incisive glance.

Willow felt all the courage she had gathered up until that second faint with this simple question. She quivered and closed her eyes when she saw Giles in front of her, encouraging her with a small smile and a light sign of the chin. She forced herself to see again Faith dying in her bed, to see again Kennedy's damaged body, to see again the sickbay and all these potential hurt and frightened, she forced herself to look at the thinned, dirty and desperate faces which surrounded her. She forced herself to think about the First and its army who was getting ready, somewhere outside, hidden in the shadow, to give the deathblow.

While in another reality, Faith and Kennedy were the leaders of a new Slayers' generation, Giles the leader of a new council, Buffy and Dawn just two normal girls. But when her glance settled on Tara who tried to smile to her as the final hour was getting closer, the reality struck her hard: in this world, Tara had been murdered and Willow had become a murderer.

The witch thought she was going to faint at this idea but she felt a body behind her holding her and an arm surrounding her waist. Without even turning around, she knew that Tara had just slipped behind her to bring her her support.

« We think that this reality results from a wish of Willow » The redhead heard just behind her while Tara addressed the vengeance demon in a slightly trembling voice.

D'Hoffryn just nodded while looking at Tara with a slightly amused smile.

« Good guess from the girlfriend, » he admitted.

« Willow would like to take it back » the blonde witch resumed in a tone she wanted firmer but trailed off strikingly on the last word.

D'Hoffryn stared at them several seconds silently. Then without abandoning his phlegm, he declared simply:

« It is not what I believe. It is not what she is showing. »

« But it's what she wants »

Buffy had moved in her turn beside Willow and looked at the demon with all the determination her forces allowed her to show.

« Miss Summers! » Exclaimed D'Hoffryn in a clearly derisive tone this time « where did you put your sword? I thought you never move without it? »

Buffy frowned with contrariety but answered nothing.

« You were in finer form last time we met » ended D'Hoffryn crossing his arms in front of the Slayer.

« Last time we met, it wasn't a year we were fighting the First and that our friends were dying one after the other. That eventually gets someone down » Retorted Buffy in an acid tone.

« I guess so » declared D'Hoffryn having considered her curiously a moment.

Then he turned away from Buffy and his attention referred on Willow who seemed in the grip of a violent internal fight.

« Then, Miss Rosenberg, what do you want from me? »

Willow raised her eyes towards him. Eyes filled with dismay, with despair, with questions. She desperately seemed to look for a solution to escape the horror of this situation and didn't appear to be able to get the words out.

« Why? » She eventually asked abruptly, without the question seeming connected to nothing concrete.

But D'Hoffryn had apparently followed her train of thoughts and offered a compassionate smile.

« You were so sad. You looked like so desperate. » He answered. « Such a despair can't let a vengeance demon indifferent »

« Oh you, you're such the kings of compassion! » Threw Xander in an ironic and icy tone.

D'Hoffryn turned to the young man who couldn't refrain from looking at him with eyes mixed with contempt and anger.

« We are » answered D'Hoffryn simply, before turning to Willow without waiting more.

The witch looked now at the ground under her, looking maybe for the courage to formulate her request, while behind her, Tara surrounded her tenderly with her arms, still looking at the vengeance demon.

« I want to take my wish back »

Willow had whispered her sentence in a breath, without looking at D'Hoffryn. As soon as the words were spoken, she allowed herself to let go in the embrace of her girlfriend.

The master of the vengeance demons rolled his eyes before planting his glance of steel again on the hesitating silhouette of the redhead.

« And why do you think I can? »

« You can do it » asserted Giles resolutely while moving toward him in his turn.

This one didn't even grant him a glance and answered Willow who was still looking at her shoes.

« I was unclear : yes, I can. But why do you think I will? »

A deathly silence punctuated this question. Nobody seemed to have an answer. And finally, Willow livened up. The witch raised too brilliant eyes towards the vengeance demon and got free of Tara's arms to do a step.

« Look around you » she said, pointing her surroundings in a circular gesture. « Look at this world you created to my request. Who could be satisfied with this chaos? Not even you? »

D'Hoffryn didn't answer at once, then nodded slowly.

« You're right. This world doesn't satisfy at lot of people. Not even me. But you? And your girlfriend? »

Willow didn't answer and continued simply to look fixedly at the demon tightening her teeth as violently as she could.

« You know she has no choice to be satisfied with this world, don't you? 'Cause she doesn't have a place in the one you remember? And you, Miss Rosenberg, what do you think it will be like to be again without her? You should think about it »

Willow felt a hand squeezing gently her shoulder behind her and she didn't need to turn around to know that Tara had again got closer to give her support and her determination. Willow closed her eyes half a second and didn't turn around before declaring in a strong voice:

« I'm sure. I want to take my wish back »

Again, a heavy silence settled down in the room, each people seeming suspended to D'Hoffryn's lips. The vengeance demon was looking fixedly at Willow as to feel her determination. The redhead fixed him with the same intensity, decided to think only about all that her world had better to offer. After some moments which appeared to last an eternity, D'Hoffryn began pacing the room in front of Willow and made a pretence of thinking about it.

« Well, I have to admit that in this world, you are yourself sharply less funny than in the other one. Your sense of vengeance is a brilliant thing and I still have big hopes for you … »

« Leave Willow alone »

D'Hoffryn stopped a second to consider Tara and Xander who were looking at him with a challenging look. Look that didn't impress the demon in the least bit.

« I regret to tell you that she didn't need me to do things even my best vengeance demons wouldn't think about. She is brilliant. »

Willow felt Tara quivering behind her and a feeling of shame submerged her at D'Hoffryn's words. And she didn't find the courage to turn to Tara to offer her a reassuring gesture or smile reassuring she knew she was unable to do.

« Beside... » Went on D'Hoffryn, resuming his monologue where he had left it a moment earlier. « In a so chaotic world, the atmosphere isn't really good for vengeance. Which is regrettable. My vengeance demons are a little bored lately. And I am afraid that it won't improve … »

He stopped walking, again in front of Willow and placed his hand under his chin in sign of reflection. He allowed a new silence to pass then looked again at Willow straight in her eyes.

« I think it's better for all of us to take this wish back. » He said finally. « Well, almost all of us » he added, glancing at Tara.

Willow heard sighs of relief around her and forced herself to look at her friends one by one. Giles squeezed slightly Dawn against him while Xander and Buffy had at a gesture towards the redhead and attracted her in their arms. Only Spike - who had stayed back during all the scene - seemed not to show any reaction but Willow nevertheless thought she saw a light smile on his lips.

The redhead quickly got free from the hug of her two best friends to turn to Tara. This one hadn't moved from her previous place and offered Willow a shy smile which she gave her back, appreciating Tara's efforts to dominate her feelings and fight the tears which rose to her to eyes. The redhead attracted the blonde against her and seized her face between her hands. Her eyes dived into Tara's azure ones before she rained down kiss after kiss on her girlfriend's face. Tara was not able to contain her tears much longer and began crying softly.

Somewhere, as a vague background noise, D' Hoffryn's voice reached both witches' ears as the surrounding world had already stopped existing for them:

« Undo what was done »

Buffy, Xander, Giles, Dawn and even Spike closed their eyes, hand in hand, waiting simply that the nightmare fainted.

In the middle of wounded and dying potentials, Kennedy wanted to sleep, but the suffering caused by her dirty stub prevented her from getting sleep and made her moan with pain every time she turned around to find a more comfortable position.

Plunged into a dreamless sleep, a weaker than ever Faith, waited simply for death to come. A part of her would have liked somebody was with her when it would eventually happen.

At a window of the building, Chloe was looking in the distance in the direction of Molly, Vi, Rona and the others' graves. Without suspecting that she would soon return to take her place in the darkness.

Gripped to Tara as a shipwrecked person to what remains of a wreck adrift, a part of Willow hoped to return the blonde witch with her in her reality.

And inexorably, what could have been ended to be.

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Kennedy pushed determinedly the door of the apartment she shared with Willow. Her hand looked one moment for the switch to the right of the door and she switched on the light. She threw untidily her jacket on the sofa and looked around her, looking for some sign indicating the presence of the witch. Her computer was still in the middle of the table of the foyer but it hadn't almost left this place for several days, so Kennedy didn't pay it particular attention. The young Slayer went to the kitchen which was plunged into darkness too and once the light switched on, she noticed that nothing had moved since her departure on the morning. Kennedy turned to the wall clock, hung over the table, and frowned. Already more than eight in the evening and Willow didn't seem to have come back from work.

Kennedy quickly crossed again the foyer up to their room. The room was also plunged into twilight and had stayed in the state in which she had left it while leaving on the morning.

« Will? » Called Kennedy, knowing pertinently that she wouldn't get any answer.

She did a new tour of the apartment in search of a note the witch would have left indicating that she would return late, something she was used to do. She found nothing. She went to the telephone, and pressed the button of the answering machine with hope, seeing flashing the button indicating the presence of a message. Dawn's hesitating voice, which rang some seconds later in the silent apartment, ruined her hopes.

« Hey, Will it's Dawn » said almost shyly the young Summers. « You must still be at work… I hope you didn't forget our Internet meeting for this evening. Eight or eight hours fifteen, as usual? »

There was a silence, only disrupted by the unusually strong breath of Dawn.

« And... we do think about you » the girl finished finally before hanging up.

A shrill bip indicated the end of the message and Kennedy remained stupid in front of the answering machine.

« What damn is this all about? » She asked the empty room while going to the table.

She settled down in front of the switched on computer and moved the mouse until seeing appearing the wallpaper : it was a photograph showing Willow, Xander and Buffy, younger, and more smiling than Kennedy could ever remember having seen them. She remained motionless a moment, contemplating this photo of Willow with longer hair, with more big, colored clothes, with a more frank smile, with a still so childish look on her face.

Finally, she got out of her reverie and sighed before connecting the webcam and launching the messaging software.

Dawn's face appeared almost immediately on the screen, a light but frank smile on her face. She had difficulty in hiding her disappointment by seeing Kennedy in front of her but continued to smile to her nevertheless.

« Oh, it's you. »

« Willow did not get back yet, » Kennedy informed her simply.

« Not yet? » Asked Dawn, evident surprise on her face. « But what time is it? More than eight ? »

Kennedy nodded and looked for something to say.

« You look tired, » commented on Dawn.

Kennedy confirmed with a new nod of her head.

« We're pretty busy lately. »

She put her hand in her hair and shrugged.

« And … »

« And ? » Interrogated Dawn at once.

« Weird day » said simply Kennedy

Dawn frowned.

« How's that, weird day? » Asked the young Summers in a slightly hysteric tone.

The confusion gained Kennedy. The anxiety in Dawn's tone was too evident not to be noticed.

« It's Willow. » Admitted Kennedy. « She was a little bit weird today. Vi and Rona think it's the pressure or the fatigue. But I think there's something else. »

Kennedy kept silent a second, playing her day in her head and didn't notice the unbelieving look on Dawn's face.

« I wanted to invite her this evening to have a break. You see, a restaurant, a movies. A nice and cool thing … »

« You invited Willow to the restaurant this evening? »

Kennedy's attention returned at once to the screen when she heard the young Summers' appalled tone.

« Yes. And she refused in a very strange way. » Winced Kennedy.

« You invited Willow at the restaurant today? » Repeated Dawn, in a stunned tone in which was pointing a light touch of anger.

« Yes. And yes again. What? There are days to invite your girlfriend to the restaurant? » Grumbled Kennedy that Dawn's behavior annoyed more than she already was.

« And you wonder why she said no? » Exclaimed Dawn brutally.

« Could you tell me what's happening? » The Slayer got excited. « What's the problem? »

« You don't know which day it is? »

This time, Dawn's tone had become softer and expressed surprise and certain sadness.

« Friday? » Offered Kennedy skeptically.

Dawn fixed the Slayer silently.

« Today, it's Tara's death anniversary » she spat finally in a bitter tone. « It's been two years » she quickly added, trying to contain the shiver in her voice.

This revelation left Kennedy dulled on her chair. She had the feeling that she had just been struck by lightning. The Slayer felt all her previous anger fainting as it was replaced by a big feeling of frustration.

« It's Tara's death anniversary? » She murmured quite low, evident shock and surprise on her face.

On the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, Dawn sank into her seat and crossed determinedly her arms.

« You did not know? » She asked with an austere look.

« Yes, yes, well, » faltered scantily Kennedy, looking around her, in search of a calendar or a clock.

Finally, her eyes fell again on the screen of the computer and Kennedy saw the date display below.

" May 7th " she murmured.

« How come you don't know? » A suddenly furious Dawn exclaimed .The emotion of the Slayer didn't seem to move her in the least bit.

« Will said nothing to me, » protested weakly Kennedy.

« Of course! » Retorted Dawn rolling her eyes. « What did you want her to tell you? Oh, honey, hard day, it is the anniversary of the death of the woman whom I should have spent my life with? »

Kennedy flinched slightly at these words and tried to take her attitude back. But Dawn didn't leave her the time and attacked again without waiting:

« You should know. » She asserted with force.

« Willow never talks about her death. She even never talks about her. How would I know? »

« You should know » Dawn persisted, wearing a stubborn look. « You could have inquired, asked questions. Didn't you suspect that there were days in the year, which would be harder than others on that matter? Like the anniversary of her death? Or her birthday? »

« I couldn't know » Kennedy moaned, lowering her head.

She just wished one thing at this moment : finding Willow, apologizing for her ignorance and hugging the redhead and promising that everything would be all right. Everything what? She had no idea, but she wished nothing else.

« Dawn? You're with Will? »

Buffy's voice made her raise her head and she saw the blonde Slayer entering the field of the webcam.

« Hey, Kennedy » she said smiling.

The Slayer felt in her homologue's voice the same point of disappointment Dawn had shown a little earlier when she hadn't seen the redhead appearing on the screen.

« Will did not get back yet » said Dawn to her sister. « And she … » The youngest Summers pointed to the screen and Kennedy who wore a miserable look. « She didn't even know. For Tara »

« Oh ! »

« I couldn't know » the young British woman defended herself immediately. « Willow never talks about her »

Kennedy saw Buffy offering a compassionate smile while she settled down on the place Dawn had just freed.

« I leave you alone » said the young Summers. « Call me if Willow arrives »

Buffy nodded and waved to her sister. Then she turned again to the screen.

« Don't pay attention to her » she said in a tone of excuse. « It's a rough day for her too. She's wound up. And she's worried about Willow. »

Kennedy nodded slowly.

« She was kinda weird today » she murmured. « I understand now »

« It's a hard day for her. » The blonde felt sorry. « She'll need you, even if she says otherwise. »

Kennedy answered nothing at first and glanced at Buffy's tired features, her brilliant eyes, her fingers which played nervously with the edge of the desk.

« And for you? » Asked finally the dark-haired Slayer. « It's not a rough day? »

Buffy shrugged untidily and her lips wrinkled in a light smile.

« Somebody has to be stronger to support the other one, no? »

Both Slayers looked at each other one moment silently, the same down look on their faces, the same hesitating and twisted smile on their lips. Finally, Kennedy was only able to nod slowly her head by way of answer.

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Willow had finally come back from her nightly escapade and had found back the road which would lead her to home, to Kennedy who - she knew it - should wait for her, worried and annoys.

But at the time of striking the button of her floor in the elevator of her building, Willow couldn't resolve herself to press on the good number.

She met herself on the roof of the building without even thinking about it. She sometimes came there in the evening, the rare times when she didn't accompany Kennedy in patrol or when her girlfriend was going out with Vi or Rona.

Willow perched on the edge of a low wall and leaned on the wall behind her, folding up her legs in front of her and imprisoning them into her arms. Then she pressed her chin on her knees and closed her eyes.

« So, Miss Rosenberg, regrets? »

Willow didn't jump when she heard D' Hoffryn's voice, which had just appeared from nowhere next to her.

The redhead thought again about her strange day. She saw again Tara's smile, felt her embrace, the sweetness of her skin against hers, smelt her smell filling her nostrils and wanted to get lost in these sweet memories.

« I often wondered what the world would look like if she hadn't been killed » answered slowly Willow. « Now I know. »

« And that's not really what I had imagined » she concluded.

« You seem to me as desperate as earlier » noticed D'Hoffryn. « Even more. »

Willow didn't answer, didn't even turn her head to the demon and contented with fixing a point of light in the distance.

« Why do I remember? » Asked abruptly Willow. « Giles said that I wouldn't remember? »

D'Hoffryn couldn't refrain from smiling.

« You should have asked this to me. I have some kind of affection for you Miss Rosenberg, let's say that it's a small special treatment … »

« I could make you the best vengeance demon of all times. You could have a new wish » resumed the demon.

"No" answered firmly Willow, still without moving. « It's still no »

D'Hoffryn considered her one moment silently, seeming to wait she eventually changed her mind. Finally, he sighed and resumed:

« You're indeed as stubborn as Anyanka said you were. I am thus going to leave you. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me »

Willow didn't watch him disappearing. Alone again, she knocked her head down behind, and allowed tears to pour on her face, while all her body tried to remember the feeling of Tara kissing her, not so long ago.

Some floors below her, Kennedy was turning like a lion in cage, trying in vain to silence her fear, thousands of ideas playing in her tortured mind.

While over the redhead's head, the ' big pineapple ' seemed to shine with all its fires, indifferent to her internal turmoil.

The end.

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Hope you enjoyed this and if you have comments, good or bad, I will be happy to read them!