Chapter Fourteen: The Good Kind
"... I... don't... know..."
Her words may have been slow, but she was quick to get out of there. As Candace walked away, everyone gasped or consolingly cooed. Stan was on the verge of tears. He quickly gulped them down and kicked the bouquet into the crowd of ladies.
"Who's next?" He chuckled, trying to sound together, but he was falling apart. He and his friends the plastered smile and empty laugh stayed until the party was over, not wanting to worry anyone.
-.-
"But, I thought she'd say yes..."
"So did I, Howdy," Dexter grimly said. Stan was really ahead of the Ham-hams now.
"Why didn't she? They coulda been great!"
"I wish I knew, buddy. I wish I knew..."
-.-
..."Why didn't she, though?" Cappy asked, looking up at his older brother.
"Yeah, Pashy-Why?" Penelope wanted to know.
"I'm not sure..." both young adults answered, disheartened.
-.-
Maxwell caught up with Stan as the hams kept buzzing about the event.
"Stan... Are you alright?"
"I want to be... Hey, tell the hams not to dwell on it. After all, this is your big day." Stan walked further ahead. Maxwell sighed, sadly. Sandy came over to comfort him.
"He'll be fine... My poor bro..."
-.-.-.
Stan opened his door, hoping Candace wasn't mad at him and was already asleep. He turned his lamp on, gasping to find all of Candace's things gone. He frantically, vainly, went into the bathroom and searched every nook and cranny for something-anything- of hers left behind. She left nothing. It was like she had never been there.
Stan collapsed onto his bed and started crying. Through his blurred vision, he noticed a sticky note on the TV. He walked over to it, sniffling and drying his eyes, hoping for some good news. He gingerly plucked it off the screen. It read:
Stan,
I'm sorry about what happened. Don't call me, I'll call you.
-Candace.
He cried even harder. He thought he'd drown in his own tears. He fell into a fitful asleep.
'What have I done...?'
-.-.-.
The train's whistle blasted as it slowly began to move the next morning. Stan sat alone. His gaze wasn't close enough to see his own reflection in the window, nor was it far away to see the rolling hills they passed. It was lost somewhere in between. He pulled his legs up on the seat and rested his chin on his knees. His eyes seemed glued to that unknown distance.
Sandy, who sat with Maxwell in the seat across from him worried about her brother. She was worried about Candace. She worried about Maxwell and all the others who had witnessed last night. The words 'I don't know' echoed around in her head.
"Stan... Stanley... Hon, look over here, please," Pashmina tried to stir him.
"Mr. Stan!" Penelope wailed. Stan remained still.
"Alright. Maybe later..." Pashmina said.
-.-.-.
All the Ham-hams tried to stir Stan. Howdy brought out his "best material", hoping that if Stan didn't laugh, he'd at least beat the tar out of him in annoyance. Hamtaro asked a question about girls, looking for some sort of advice, and Cappy hit him with his brother's hammer, getting hit with it himself once Panda caught him with it. Nothing seemed to be working.
"We'll just leave you alone for now..." Bijou sadly said.
"Thanks," Stan finally said, turning around to face them.
Everyone stared. His eyes didn't have the usual glossed over look they did when he was upset. Instead, two broken pools of emptiness stared directly back at the hams. He turned back around, not talking the rest of the way home, even though the others encouraged him to.
-.-.-.
At around four that afternoon, Stan gave up and allowed himself to think about Candace. His heart broke with each memory.
'Do you wanna
run away together?'
I would say it was your best line ever.
Too
bad I fell for it...
And I walked along,
Waiting for you to
come along.
Take my tortured heart by the hand.
And write me
off...
-Stan? Hi, I'm Candace-
-That I am aware of.
-Smart ass... Anyway, can you do me a HUGE favor?
-I can do more than that, babe.
-STANLEY!
- (giggles)
Do you know I
cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the
good kind...
-Good night, Stan.
Stan turned around and became completely transfixed with a pair of the most lovely brown eyes. He stood there, in the middle of the sidewalk, numb and breathless as the giggling figure with the flowing brunette ham-hair and pearls for teeth went into the house and turned off the light...
You forced me
to become strong.
And I just cried, being weak.
And you think
you know.
And I would like to think so,
But do you know that
when you go,
I fall apart...
Behind Sandy and Maxwell was the angel otherwise known as Candace in a sparkling white strapless dress. Her hair was held in two shiny barrettes. Each had three silver hearts.
Stan inadvertently shivered.
-W-what's shakin', C-Candace?
-Obviously, you are, Stan. He loved that giggle. He still did and always would, as haunting as it was.
Do you know I
cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the
good kind.
No, it's not the good kind...
As Candace walked to her seat, she accidentally brushed against Stan. The two blushed.
-Sorry about that.
-It's okay... Besides, if you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
-I guess I'd pick you, too.
I'm tired of
hiding behind these lying eyes,
I'm tired of this smile that even
I don't recognize.
Do you
know I cry? ...
-I bet you can't do this!
Her eyes twinkled, determined.
Do you know I die?
-I'm gonna take a shower...
-Can I come?
-In your dreams.
-Are you sure?"
-Yes... Perv. Stan rubbed his cheek fondly, remembering the punishment Candace gave to him.
Do you
know I cry?
BOOM! Another roll of thunder. Candace clung to Stan for dear life and shook in fear. Stan protectively wrapped his arms around her.
-Shh... It's alright. I'll keep you safe...
- (Whimpers)
-Everything's okay... I got ya.
Do you
know I cry?
-Nope. That's pretty much my day… Now, I really have a headache.
-Poor baby…Do you need a hug?
-If you're giving them out…
And it's
not the good kind...
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do
you know I cry?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good
kind...
-Thank
you, thank you, thank you, Stan!
-You're welcome...
No,
you're not the good kind.
Good kind
No, you're not the good
kind.
Good kind
No, you're not the good kind.
Candace caught Stan's glance and smiled as he winked at her, causing a light crimson blush to come to her cheeks. Her smile widened. Stan thoroughly missed that smile... He missed her laugh, her silly yet maternal nature.
His eyes gleamed with tears. He couldn't cry here. That would make him a wuss. In spite of himself, the stinging tears wobbled in his eyes, rolled down his cheeks, and ruffled his fur as they plopped down to the floor. He was glad he had his face pressed to the window, otherwise, they'd all know.
-.-.-.
That evening, Stan walked home, declining the invitation to Sandy and Maxwell's for dinner that night. He unlocked the door to his lonely house, walked up the stairs to his lonely room, and curled up in his lonely bed. His mind drifted away again.
If I don't
need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you
then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me
then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me
then why do I dream of you as my wife?
Questions popped into his head. Did women not find him attractive? He had a striking appearance, but maybe it was his flirtatious charisma... All Stan knew for sure was that destiny had betrayed him, it had lied to him.
I don't
know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is
true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share
my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And
I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you
all my life
Tears painfully welled up in his eyes as he imagined himself as a lonely old man with many nieces and nephews to be envious about. As he shook the thought, more questions poured from his numb mind.
I don't
want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If
I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is
there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Why did Candace leave? He thought she had sent him all the right vibes, but Stan still tried to convince himself that he'd only imagined it.
'Cause
I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And
I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand
today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And
though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your
side
Why was fate so cruel? ...
Would he ever find new love?...
If so, would Candace get jealous?...
'Of course she wouldn't,' Stan barked to himself.
I don't
want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If
I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is
there any way that I could stay in your arms...
But, the query that stayed with him was one that only hopeless dreamers would vainly ask.
Did destiny have another path for Stan and Candace to cross? He secretly, really hoped the answer was yes, that maybe then would be his someday. He let his eyelids grow as heavy as his heart and fell asleep...
FIN.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Okay, all! That's it! Thanks so much for reading this! I seriously appreciate it. Thanks so much! I am very grateful to get such a response, seieng as this was my first fic and well, (gets all teary eyed) even though I know many of you didn't review, I know a lot have read this. Here is a special thanks to those who did review, though! Thanks again, everyone!
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