Stages
Part 5: Fear and Guilt
Far away someone was knocking on his door. And knocking, and knocking and it became louder and louder. Growling, he opened his eyes and stared at it. The knocks became suddenly more intense. Sniffing, he realized that it wasn't her again. Snorting, Logan got up and walked over to the door, nearly falling over the old sheets of his beds, which he'd exchanged after Eliza had left. Or should he rather say after they'd been interrupted? Narrowing his eyes, his hand grabbed the doorknob furiously and pulled the door open. "What!"
"Is she here?" Ororo asked him panicky.
"Who?" Logan asked pissed; his eyes telling her to leave him alone.
"Jean," she said. "is she here?"
"Why should she!"
Ororo could tell by his reaction and look that they'd obviously not talked. "She wanted to talk with you, but hasn't returned. I already asked this cheater and he said she ran away crying," she told him while putting all disgust she could came up with into the description of Scott. "I thought she might have…"
"No, she's not here," Logan cut her off harshly. "Maybe she's sitting in some room crying, what the hell do I know. Go look for her and leave me alone, damn it!"
His opposite crossed her arms in front of her chest. "She has really hurt you, hasn't she?"
"What!" he asked her and narrowed his eyes even more.
Ororo sighed. "Logan, she wanted to apologize to you. I don't know what happened between the two of you again after she left me, but…" She broke off, noticing his smirk and his shining eyes which obviously followed someone he was interested in. Turning around she immediately saw who this person was.
"Hi," Eliza greeted her and smirked back at Logan with a look that told volumes.
Looking at him in disbelief, Storm only shook her head. "Tell me that this isn't true!" Logan only sighed in annoyance. "Damn it, Logan!" she cursed. "Is that your way of dealing with it?" she asked him angrily. "You hurt me so I hurt you back!"
He rolled his eyes. "Go look for her and piss of, Storm!"
"No, I won't!" Pushing the door back, which he wanted to close, and ignoring his threatening growl she turned her head. "Eliza, have you seen Jean?" she called after the girl.
"Yeah," Eliza nodded, while keeping her eyes fixed on Logan.
"And where?" Ororo asked annoyed, fighting the desire to send a lighting bolt into the direction of the seductively smiling girl.
"She ran out of the back door. Don't know what she wants outside…" With one last look on Logan, she disappeared into her room.
"She's outside…?" the white heard woman gasped.
"So you know it. Now piss off!" Logan hissed and wanted to close the door again, but she stopped him once more.
"There is a snowstorm outside, damn it!" she nearly yelled at him and watched him cocking an eyebrow. "She's freezing to death! Is that what you want?" Heavily breathing in panic while her heart was racing in her chest, she swallowed. "Logan!" she said as he disappeared into his room. "We have to go and look for her!"
"No," he replied when he came back and pulled a sweatshirt over his head. "You have to call Hank and the Professor. They've to get back as soon as possible!"
"Why them?" she asked in confusion.
Pulling his leather jacket on he gave her a look. "Because she's outside for at least five hours and very likely needs medical attention!" He pulled the collar up before he turned around. "And get rid off the damn storm!" Shaking all over in fear, she watched him running down the corridor. She could only hope that he would find her…
Outside, Logan pulled the hood of the shirt over his head and raised a hand, trying to protect his eyes against the heavy storm. It was freezing cold outside. He was already shaking from this short moment. Concentrating, he tried to pick up her scent, but couldn't smell her. Narrowing his eyes and trying to see anything through the thick snow, he tried to find her. "Damn, Jean," he cursed. "Where are you?" His eyes caught the trees of the wood. He loved to stroll around there and it was his first place to go if he wanted to be alone. All of a sudden, Logan began to run towards it. He had to trust his instincts with this. Running as fast as he could he stumbled as his feet bumped against something. Catching his fall, he kept on running. He concentrated on everything. Movements, noises, smells, the slightest things… He'd to find her. Stopping, Logan looked around, breathing heavily in exhaustion. "Jean?" he yelled and looked to and fro between the trees. Suddenly, his head turned to the right side and he sniffed. The scent he caught was barely noticeable anymore. Closing his eyes he concentrated hard on it. Opening them in a rush again, Logan ran into the direction of it. It was definitely her scent…
Jumping over a tree on the ground, he noticed that the storm had nearly stopped. The view became steadily better until no more new white flakes followed. "Jean," he gasped as he finally saw her leaning against a tree. Stopping breathlessly right next to her, Logan kneeled down and touched her shaking form. She moved her head slowly and looked at him through half closed eyes. "Logan?" she asked barely audible. "I'm really so sorry!" Immediately she began to cry again; causing her body to shake even more than it already did.
"What are you doing you stupid girl!" he asked her harshly and got rid off his jacket and shirt. Quickly he pulled the shirt over her head and wrapped his jacket around her shoulder. "How can you stay outside when it's so freezing cold you silly cow?"
"I hit my ankle," she mumbled through her heavy sobs. "I couldn't get up."
"You could have just said anything mentally, damn it!" he cursed and lifted her up into his arms. Immediately he felt the coldness she was radiating through the clothes. She shook her head weakly. "You told me to piss off, so you wouldn't have come…" She grimaced in pain as she accidentally moved her foot.
"'f course I would," he grunted and began to ran back, holding her tight. He felt her shaking violently. "You'll get sick," she said barely audible, since he was only wearing his jeans now. "Can't get sick. Ya know that," he gave back, while looking down on her already blue and trembling lips and kept on running as fast as possible.
XXX
"You found her?" Ororo shrieked and looked shocked at her friend's lifeless form.
"Get as many blankets as you can find and make hot tea!" Logan said and laid Jean down on his bed, before he disappeared into his bathroom. Soon, Ororo heard water running. Still, she couldn't move, only stare at Jean. "What are you waiting for?" Logan asked her aloud. "Go!" Nodding she disappeared, while he turned the radiator on. "Jean?" he said and bent over her while he began to undress her. "Hey, do you hear me?" Shaking, she slowly opened her eyes a bit. "Stay with me!" he said. "You hear me?" She nodded weakly. After he'd gotten rid off her clothes, he pulled her up and walked over to the bathroom. Carefully, he laid her down in to the bath tube with warm water; supporting her with his arms.
He waited until the water cooled down to much to be of any use anymore. Gently and paying attention to her injured foot, he pulled her up and wrapped her into a towel. Rubbing, he noticed that she was still shaking heavily. "Come on," Logan said and carried her over to the bed as Storm came back.
"The tea still needs a bit," she said before she laid down three wooden blankets. "Everything I could find."
"Did you reach them?" Logan asked and began to tuck Jean into the blankets and sheets.
"No, I couldn't. The storms must have hit something. All lines are dead. I wanted to go to the basement."
"Keep on trying it and bring some salve and bandages with you. She hit her foot," he replied before he got rid of his soaked jeans.
"Is there anything else I can do?" she asked worriedly but he shook his head.
"What happened?" Scott's voice suddenly echoed through the room and he stepped closer.
"She ran away and nearly froze to death," she said through gritted teeth while she was boiling with anger.
"What!" he asked in disbelief and looked down on Jean.
"Get out!" Logan suddenly growled threatening and narrowed his eyes while his muscled tensed.
"What do you think you're doing there?" Scott shot back as he noticed that Logan was only wearing his boxers.
"I supposed he wants to warm her," Storm hissed. "You heard what he said. Go!"
The other man snorted. "Wait a second! Since when is he your property, eh?" he asked angrily and shot a deadly look at his opposite who returned it.
"She's no longer your concern," Logan grunted and his eyes darkened as Wolverine showed up for a glimpse of a second. "So piss off!"
Scott gave a derisive laugh. "Well, she cried in front of your door, pal!" he shot back arrogantly at the growling man. "Do you think because you had her once that you can decide what's best for her?"
With a jump, Logan had grabbed his collar and pushed him hard against the wall. Stopping only inches from the other man's face he gritted his teeth. "She's not longer wearing your ring, isn't she? So you have nothing to do with her anymore!"
"Neither do you!"
Storm looked down in surprise. "Hold on a second!" she said to both men who looked at her. Bending down she listened to Jean's weak voice, before she looked up again. "She wants you to leave!"
Scott smirked at Logan. "See?"
"No," Ororo shook her head. "She wants you to leave!" Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she gave him a hatred look. Before Scott could reply anything, Logan had pushed him out of his room harshly. "Piss off! And don't even dare to get close to her again or I slice you into pieces!" he growled furiously and shut the door in the other man's face.
Returning to the bed he bent down and laid a hand on Jean's forehead. "Bring some anti-fever drug too." He said before he laid down next to her and pulled her close. Storm nodded and left them alone. Worriedly, Logan looked at Jean's shaking form. The radiator had already heated up the room unbearably for him, but she wasn't getting any warmer. Pulling the blankets closer around them, he rolled over; warming her with his whole body now. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear and stroked her heated cheeks gently. He knew it was his fault that she'd ran off. He cursed himself for his stubbornness. She had touched him with her tears before he'd closed the door. He had also heard her crying in front of his door while he had leant against it from the inside. But he didn't want to let her touch his heart again. She had hurt him too much. When she stood in front of his door he wanted to take her into his arms. When she cried in front of it he wanted to open it and kiss her. But he was too proud to give in… Too much a man to admit that he'd made a mistake too. And now he had to face the consequences…
"Me, too," she gave back barely audible and tried to pull him close. "I didn't mean to hurt you…"
He saw a single tear running down her cheek. "Me neither," he replied and whipped it away gently. "You getting warmer?" She shook her head slowly. He pulled her even closer and began to stroke her gently. "You're the doc, darlin'. Tell me what to do," he asked her in despair since he couldn't come up with anything else. Suddenly, the door opened again ad Storm came back with a tray in her hand. "Here's the tea," she said and put the tray down on the bedside table. "How is she?" Worriedly she looked at them.
"Not good," Logan said and sat up, pulling Jean with him. He took the cup into his free hand. "Here, drink this." He held it to her mouth and supported her head with the other hand. "Slowly," he added as she began to drink it. Storm took the bandages and the salve into her hands and pulled the sheets and blankets away. Carefully she began to take care of Jean's injured foot. "Gosh, is she cold…," she gasped as she touched her skin. Logan refilled the cup with new tea and put some of the anti-fever drug into it. Carefully he helped Jean to drink it again, while Ororo pulled the blankets over her feet again. "What else can we do to warm her?" she asked him despaired.
"I don't know," he gave back. "Did you reach Hank?"
"No, only the Professor. Hank wasn't with him, but he wanted to call back as soon as possible." She put a hand to Jean's forehead as she heard the phone rang. "That was quick. I'll be right back," she said and ran out of the room towards the next phone.
Logan put the empty cup away, before he laid her down again; placing himself on top once more. "Better?" he asked her while he pulled a strand out of her face.
"A bit," she whispered and closed her eyes tiredly, while he was looking at her frightened.
He noticed that she wasn't as much shaking as before, but still her body felt so cold against his. "Anything I can do?" Logan asked softly and stroked her gently. He rolled over as he noticed that she wanted to change her position. He watched her as she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his chest; snuggling up to him even closer and closing her eyes. "Just hold me," she replied calmly and began to doze off as the warmth began to spread slowly in her body again.
He smiled softly, feeling even guiltier. "I'm doing that the whole time through, darlin'."
