Disclaimer: None of it mine

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Leigh (Lipton Lee. If you don't read her stuff, go now! She's amazing!). Not only is she my partner in crime (err, lit!fluff), but she also has amazing and extremely helpful ideas. Hugs for Leigh! Also, everyone should listen to The Pink Spiders. They're amazing, and they're CD Teenage Graffiti is pretty much the soundtrack to Jess's life as far as I'm concerned. Enjoy! Review!

Chasing Fate---Chapter 6

Dear Rory,-

Jess looked at the salutation and shook his head. His first instinct was to put "Dear" in the beginning, but it looked wrong and it didn't feel natural to have it there. He tore the piece of paper out of his notebook and started again.

Rory,

I got your letter.

Jess looked at that opening sentence and became mildly frustrated with himself. Obviously he got her letter! Why else would he be writing to her? He sighed and started on a fresh piece of paper.

Rory,

Thank you for writing to me.

Jess wrinkled his nose in complete disgust with himself. No way. No way in Hell did he actually just thank her for writing that letter. This was why he didn't write letters. He completely sucked at this. Writing a letter was an extremely personal matter, and he did not do well with extremely personal matters. He tore the paper in two pieces put his head in his hands. After a moment, he decided to try again.

Rory,

I really don't know what I should say to you. I don't have an answer to any of the questions in your letter. At least nothing besides "I don't know." I can't explain anything that transpired between us. I don't know that I would if I could. Nothing that happened makes any sense to me, except the part where I let you down. That part seems pretty self-explanatory.

I know this is the part where I'm supposed to apologize. I want to, but I can't make myself write the words. Part of me still thinks that I did what I had to do, even though I know I did it wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to find you. That sounds wrong. Everything I've ever done, it's never hurt anyone but me. I wasn't ready for that to change and I couldn't handle it when it did.

Wow, that was honest. I don't know where that came from. It's true, but to actually see it written there is new. I never wanted you to think about me after I left. I didn't want you to hurt. I just wanted a clean break. Not because I didn't want you anymore, but because I just kept screwing up and I thought I could fix that if I left, I guess. Maybe I'm just making up excuses.

I don't even know why I'm writing you back. This letter serves no purpose. All it's doing is proving what a screw up that I am. I thought maybe that if I just let myself write, maybe I'd actually find something meaningful to say. I guess I failed though. Maybe you shouldn't write me again.

Before he could commit to signing the letter, Jess reread it and found himself annoyed with it. All those paragraphs and sentences, and not one of them was able to properly convey what he was trying to say. Of course, that probably had a lot to do with the fact that he had no idea what he was trying to say. Was he apologizing? Blowing her off? His message was completely muddled within the sheet of notebook paper, but not as jumbled as it was within his own mind. Everything he wanted to say was on that paper, but it all came out so wrong.

He looked tiredly at the piece of paper and crumpled it into a ball, tossing it onto the table. This was useless. There was no way he could write something long and meaningful without absolutely hating himself for it afterwards.

Jess looked down at the blank sheet of paper in front of him and stared until all the lines blurred together. Then, in a moment of complete clarity, he began to write.

Rory,

The moment I can give you any sort of answer, I will. Until then, please don't contact me again.

Jess looked at the message critically. He was happy with the brevity of it, but the last line seemed harsher than he'd intended it. The page joined the others in the pile and Jess finally settled on the final draft of his letter.

Rory,

The moment I can give you any sort of answer, I will.

There will be a next time,

Jess

Jess sighed in relief at the final version. It was short, didn't get painfully intimate, and still let her know that he cared, at least enough to reply to her deeply personal and confusing letter.

Jess folded the letter and tucked it into the waiting envelope. He carefully wrote Rory's name and school address on the front, trying to ignore the strange feeling it gave him to have it staring back up at him. He'd mail it right now. He went to his room to grab his jacket, and when he came out Sasha and Jimmy had entered the kitchen, bringing an argument along with them.

"You're going." Sasha said definitively, hopping up on the kitchen counter and staring at Jimmy.

"You've never met her! You don't know!" Jimmy said. "She's insane."

"She's your family, Jimmy." Sasha responded, looking at Jess and winking at him. "And you take care of family. You are going."

Jess smirked. Sasha had a serious tone in her voice, which meant that she was going to win this argument.

"It's so easy to make a decision like that when you aren't going to have to suffer." Jimmy said, taking off his hat and tossing it on the table in frustration.

Sasha sighed and took his hand. "Jimmy, my love, my soul mate, this woman helped raise you. You're all the family that she has left. She never asks you for anything. You're really going to deny her this favor?" She released his hand and said, "Then you aren't the man I thought you were."

Jess's smirk turned into an actual smile as he tried to contain his laughter. She had him now. Whatever she was trying to get him to do, he was trapped now.

Jimmy sighed, "That's not fair, Sash."

Sasha shrugged. "That's life." She nodded at Jess. "Take your kid with ya. Deflect some of her madness onto you."

"Whoa, what?" Jess asked, putting his hands up. "I'm just standing here."

Jimmy turned and seemed to be studying Jess. "That's not a bad idea. Up for a little East Coast adventure, kid?"

Sasha smiled triumphantly and Jess stared blankly at the two of them.

Jimmy sat at the table and sighed, "My Aunt Victoria wants me to go to Massachusetts so she can make out her will. She wants me to spend a few days there with her, go through her house, pick what I want her to leave me and then she wants me to witness her will. How morose is that?" He looked up pleadingly at Sasha, who shook her head.

"Why you?" Jess asked. Maybe he could help Jimmy double team Sasha so neither of them would have to go to Massachusetts.

"My mom's dead, and Aunt Victoria took me in after she died. There was just the two of them, and Aunt Victoria never got married or anything." Jimmy said with a shrug. "It's just me." As he said it, he realized there was no way Sasha was going to let him out of this family obligation. He smiled at Jess, knowing that he could at least drag him along for the ride. "Me and you."

"No. No way." Jess shook his head. "She's never even met me."

"But she'll want to!" Sasha exclaimed. "Won't she, Jimmy?"

Jimmy nodded, but seemed unsure. "I guess." He said.

"Jimmy, come on, man." Jess said. "Don't make me do this."

Jimmy shrugged with a smirk similar to the one that his son usually wore. "Sorry, kid. You wanted to live here. You're gonna suffer along with me. We leave next week."

Jess sighed, annoyed. There was no way he was getting out of this. They were playing on his fear of getting kicked out, and it was working. He was going to have to do this for Jimmy.

Jess scowled and picked up the letter he was going to mail. "You suck." He growled as he walked out of the door.

Jimmy turned to Sasha and said, "He's wrong. I don't suck. You suck. That woman is crazy, Sasha."

Sasha's smile was small and knowing. "Relax, Jimmy. It's gonna be a good trip." She seemed lost in her thoughts for a moment before she added, "For both of you."

Jimmy saw her eyes go dreamy and pointed. "Hey, what's that look? What are you planning?"

Sasha raised her hands in the air as she shrugged. "Don't look at me, pal." She said, hopping off the kitchen counter. She wrapped her arms around Jimmy's neck and gave him a quick kiss. "There's a much bigger force at work here." She bounced out of the kitchen, leaving Jimmy standing there looking confused.