She's curled up against me when I wake. We've been married for a year and a half now but still, sometimes, we wake up like this and can't believe that she's mine.

My parents, before, teased me about it. I had been dating her for three months, I was sixteen, and she was all I thought about. They thought it was cute.

Then I announced that she was it. For the rest of my life, she was the one I would love. The one that, eventually, I'd ask to marry me.

My mother went quiet at that, her face suddenly serious. "Ned, you've known her for five months."

"Right."

She shook her head. "You can't... she's fifteen years old. And I don't want you to get hurt."

I scoffed at that, because at sixteen I knew everything. "I won't get hurt. She's great, Mom. She's amazing. She's perfect."

And Mom smiled to herself anyway, and took another sip of her coffee, because they loved her too. They loved when she came over, when we went to prom, and when I went away to Emerson and we stayed together though that first year apart. They didn't question me anymore, except to ask when I'd make good on my promise, when I'd finally give in and ask her to be mine. They waited through three years at Emerson together, my decision to go to the Academy, Nancy's college graduation, and our separate apartments in the city. All Mom's friends had children who were marrying and having children of their own, and still I waited, remembering what Nancy had told me after that first proposal, standing on the bank of the river, her hands in mine.

Not yet.

We had the rest of our lives together. We'd been through almost everything, her cases and my time at the Academy and Frank Hardy's continued and sporadic presence in her life, but I knew she loved me. I knew she wanted to be with me. And I knew that when the time came, it would be right.

I just thought they would always be there. And then they weren't anymore. In the blink of an eye, two of the three important people in my life were gone, just like that, and Nancy stood there, the only one left.

Sometimes I wish that Mom and Dad had been there for it. I wish that I'd been able to find the courage to ask her when it wasn't courage so much as self-preservation that miserable day, as I stood in the shell of what had been my life for eighteen years, and only she survived, and I knew that I had to know, to hear her say it out loud. But I don't know now how long it would have taken me to do it if not for that day.

I don't know if they would have approved how quickly our relationship deepened that night, but I know they would have understood.

Now she's beside me, wearing the ring I always assured my parents was for her alone. She didn't sleep well, and her hair has fallen over her face, and even though I know I have to get up and take a shower I just gaze down at her. I loved her for so long, have loved her for so long, so much that sometimes the strength of it frightens me. I'd go to the edge of the earth for her, and beyond.

I kiss her cheek and she stirs in her sleep but doesn't wake, so I stifle the impulse to wake her, remembering how often I felt her move beside me last night. I pull the covers up over her and her face relaxes the slightest bit.

The house is still cool but the clock is flashing on the bedside table so I know the power's back on. Mollie is dancing when I open the bedroom door, and she runs immediately to the hook by the door, where we keep her leash.

"You ready for a run, girl?"

Our street is almost silent, and it's still so cold out, even through all the layers I struggled into. Mollie loves it, though, running easily beside me as we round the corner, past all the familiar places, the swingsets and perfectly manicured lawns.

The swingsets are what get me, though. The family my mother never had a chance to see us become. Our new house will be bigger, though, closer to the school, more rooms, a bigger backyard. Later, when the city is too much, there will be my parents' house and fall in Mapleton, and Carson in the next town, and maybe one day a first car in the driveway, full of suitcases and school supplies, ready for the long trek to Emerson.

Not that I'm biased or anything.

The house is quiet when I push open the front door, and Mollie runs immediately to her water bowl, then to the backyard, her claws sounding on the hardwood. The kitchen is empty, and Nancy has just begun to stir when I walk back into our bedroom, already nearly undressed.

"Ned..."

"I'm going to take a shower. Unless you want me to wait for you..."

She stretches, smiling, her eyes still closed. "No, it's okay, but I'll take a raincheck."

I'm already late, and a shower with Nancy means the time is doubled, usually tripled, but I miss her anyway. Five minutes later I can smell toast while I hastily dress, but the kitchen is deserted.

"Nan?"

She comes out of the other bathroom in her bathrobe. "You're already late, aren't you," she says softly, and the expression on her face is strange, but she reaches up to give me a kiss anyway.

I nod, returning it. "Nearly. But I can go by the store after I get off, maybe get us something nice for dinner, since the lights are back on..."

"That would be great," she smiles, and I juggle the car keys and a slice of toast and give her one last kiss before she's watching me go. For a minute, at the look in her eyes, I almost turn back, almost, but another glance at my watch, and the ice still on the road, make another minute too long.

This morning it's Bill's turn to get the coffee, which is great, because he still lives in an apartment close to the station, and he's not the one ten minutes late. I find a stack of files on my desk already, along with a steaming cup from the shop down the street, and Bill's checking me over for marks. I pick up a pencil and throw it at him.

"What? I can usually tell if you're gonna be in a good mood or not, based solely on whether you have any hickeys on your neck." Bill sits back, looking pleased with himself.

"Oh really." He likes this game, and it's still early, and I haven't yet stopped thinking about how she looked this morning.

"Yeah, but... you're in a good mood anyway. That's a mighty high collar there, Nickerson."

The heat is almost stifling, and I take off my suit jacket, rolling my cuffs up over my forearms. "I have to keep some secrets from you, Stott."

"Guess that means you haven't decided to trade her in yet." He gives a dramatic sigh of mock disappointment.

"Never will. You had your chance."

Bill shakes his head, because he knows it's a lie. No one else ever really had a chance.

I've just taken my first sip of coffee and opened the first folder when my cell phone rings on my hip. Nancy's ringtone.

Immediately my heart is in my throat.

"Nan?"

"Hey," she replies, and I don't hear the familiar sound of traffic behind her voice. "You at work?"

"Just got here. The roads aren't too bad..." Then I remember the look on her face. "Are you okay?"

She makes a sound, like a strangled laugh. "Yeah... yeah, I'm fine. But I was wondering if you... might want to have lunch with me."

"Do I want to have lunch with a beautiful woman? Of course. Name a place and a time and I'll be there."

"The Italian place on Lake Shore Drive."

I chuckle. "Hmm. If I'm paying..."

"Oh, you're paying, all right. And you'd better be wearing something sexy, too, Nickerson."

"That's my line."

"Yeah, well, when am I not wearing something sexy?"

"Good point."

"I'll see you at noon. And don't be late."

I hang up and chuckle again, and Bill's watching me. "You went white when you answered the phone."

"Yeah, well, she's fine, and I think I'm going to have a much better lunch break than you are."

Bill picks up the pencil and throws it back. "Just rub it in, why don't you."

She's already waiting when I walk in, and she is beautiful. The other couples are dressed in matched suits, tourists with wind-reddened faces above bright scarves, but Nancy is in something dark and clinging, her hair up, pearls in her ears and around her throat. She stands when we catch sight of each other, and that look is even more pronounced. A glass of water at her right hand, and she didn't drink last night, and she wouldn't have worn this to work.

I can feel myself going into investigator mode and I turn it off with a shake of my head, and a wide smile at her. "You do look great. I feel positively underdressed. Or maybe overdressed," I say, plucking at the red silk tie I'd grabbed a few hours before, wishing that she had taken me up on the shower. Five hours before we can be alone together again.

She grins, and suddenly her eyes are gleaming. "I talked to George after you left this morning, and Bess came in safe."

"That's great. Man... so she knows about...?" I ask, gesturing between the two of us.

Nancy buries her face in her hands for a second, her palms light against her cheeks, then glances up again. She's glowing.

"Not quite, because I wanted to tell you first."

I lace my fingers between hers and I can feel her pulse faint beneath her skin, and the color's high in her cheeks. "Nan..."

She glances down at her empty plate for a second before our eyes meet again.

"I took the test this morning... I'm pregnant."

I can feel my heart beating, in that moment, and she smiles so wide, and I can't believe it. But she's so radiant, and that look on her face, she was waiting, while I was in the shower, waiting until she knew for sure, and...

I make a noise, and it's so loud that the couple at the next table turns toward us in surprise, but I can't stop myself. I stand up and she stands up to meet me and I pull her to me in a hug so hard, my face against her hair, her breath against my neck in a startled laugh.

"You're sure?"

She nods. "Pretty sure. Ninety-nine percent sure."

"Nancy," I say again, pulling back, and even though the restaurant is full and I know everyone is probably watching us, I kiss her anyway, long and hard, and she returns it with the same intensity, her hand cupping my cheek when we finally pull apart.

"Merry Christmas," she whispers, her eyes shining up into mine. "Merry Christmas."