First Naruto fic. Thanks to Silent Shadow1. All you who came here for Harry Potter fics: I'm taking a long, long, long break from those. Sorry. Also, no pairings established so far.

Summary: Haruno Sakura is finally free, finally independant, and finally living on her own. Which would be nice, if Naruto hadn't blown a hole into her wall. SAKURA. NARUTO. KAKASHI. "This is where you laugh at life." AU. Verily.

i. naruto, kakashi, and mirrors held by bubblegum

In the little village-slash-town of Konoha, there is an organization which shines among the rest. It is called Child Care Centre by the elders. By the teachers and employees of this organization, it is called Hell. It's a simple building, where parents drop off their little children before going to work, or when they must leave town in pursuit of business outside. Basically, it's like when you have a dog, and you have to go on vacation. You leave the dog at the dog pound. Konoha's Child Care Centre was exactly that, a dog pound. Only, you know…for kids. Although some kids did behave like dogs sometimes…

Anyway, the Centre also took in orphans, abandoned children, and problematic children-slash-teens. There were a few rules the Centre imposed to all their occupants, as is normal in an organized organization. First, any orphan is to be treated the same as any other child. Said orphan had a place in the Centre up until they reached the age of 18, where they could either: a) work for the Centre and take care of other, younger children; or b) find themselves an apartment, a job, and detach themselves from the Centre completely. Second rule stated that each child must attend the schooling program in said centre, as well as a couple of extra-curricular activities, such as: karate, tennis, football, ballet, learn-how-to-cook-for-when-you're-old-and-out-of-our-hair, and other specialities which could get you a job at a local workshop.

Our story, however, does not revolve around the Child Care Centre. Our story revolves around Haruno Sakura, aged 18, recently out of the Child Care Centre. So recently out of there, in fact, that at the moment, she is celebrating a party in her new flat.

Before we proceed, a few things must be known about Sakura. Sakura entered the Centre when she was 12, and back then she was one of those problematic teens. How she ended up at the Centre, no one knows, but many suspect. There are rumours, as per usual. Some say it was because Sakura had beaten the living daylights out of an old classmate. Some say she had killed someone. The truth is, Sakura got there for stabbing. She was a normal girl or as normal as you can get with Bipolar Disorder, minding her own business in the school's Library, when she spotted some idiot manhandling a girl. Enraged, and cheered on by a little voice in her head, she took her sharpened pencil, and stabbed the idiot, hitting the arm which held the other girl prisoner. The smaller girl managed to run away, while Sakura stood imposingly over the crying idiot. Two days later, she was thrown into the Centre by her parents who, after finding out that their daughter was bordering on insanity, forgot all about her. At the Centre, Sakura was among the few girls to join the karate class, and one of the fewer people who could stand talking to Uzumaki Naruto for more than two minutes. As a matter of fact, they were quite the best of friends.

And that brings us to now, at Sakura's party, in Sakura's new flat, where she has invited everyone in her karate class, Naruto included. Sakura at the moment, is talking to her sensei, Hatake Kakashi, and some of her old teachers. Naruto, in the mean time, is behaving like a drunken retard.

Which can be understood, seeing as this is Naruto, and seeing as he is drunk.

The blond boy stumbles into the walls of Sakura's flat, until he reaches the bathroom. There, he proceeds to greet his dinner. In the middle of nearly falling asleep with his head on the toilet seat, and standing up clumsily, Naruto…dreams.

There is dust and water, and water and dust. He's running, jumping, throwing knives, and stones, and kunai, senbon, whatever he needs. The beast inside of him tells him to kill, kill the little bastard, be a good boy for once, do it, do it. But he can't, he can't because I promised Sakura-chan I'd bring him back, and I want him to come back, because he's Sasuke, and he's a jerk, but he's our jerk, and we need him. And again, he jumps, and the boy who he fights is no longer a boy, but a monster, with wings, and he's smirking, and taunting, and Naruto is lost, and doesn't want to do it, but has to, because Sakura-chan needs him too. He won't kill Sasuke, he'll hurt him, though, like he's hurt them, like he's made Sakura cry, and Naruto spit blood. He jumps again, and there's water, and water, and air, and…RASENGAN!

Naruto blinks, and stares at his hand. Blood. How did he get blood on his hand? He remembers drinking too much, because Sakura-chan is finally laughing again, and he remembers dreaming about a fight with a winged monster. He remembers his hands glowing, and him bringing his fist forward, ready to hit and, and…

Oh…shit.

Well. There's now a hole in Sakura's bathroom wall, right above her sink. And no matter how drunk he is, Naruto knows it was his fist that put that hole in there. He never knew he was that powerful, though, because it's a freaking big hole, and he can see into Sakura's neighbour's bathroom. All he can think of is that the walls are definitely made of paper, or the construction is really shitty, and that Sakura is going to kill him dead.

Breathing. Breathing is good.

So, how to hide it, how to hide it? How to hide the freaking huge hole in the wall before Sakura finds it, and kills him? Naruto doesn't want to die, he wants to live. There is only one thing to do. When in doubt, find Kakashi-sensei!

But how to leave the bathroom, and be sure that Sakura won't come in, and find the hole, and make another hole in Naruto's head? The only way to solve this, is to get Kakashi's attention from there. He creaks the door open, and scouts the area. Sure enough, there is Kakashi, together with Gai, Genma and oh no…Sakura. Well, he'll just have to avoid catching Sakura's attention. What was it that Kakashi-sensei always said? A ninja always knows when he's being watched. Which was stupid, because they weren't ninjas, they were just abandoned kids learning karate, but anyway. Naruto fixes his blue eyes on the back of Kakashi's head, and waits. Sure enough, seconds later, Kakashi turns around, and spots Naruto signing him to come over.

"What?" the older man asks, when he's finally reached the bathroom door.

Naruto just pulls him inside the bathroom, and locks the door behind them. When he turns around, he finds Kakashi staring at the hole in the wall. Kakashi looks from the hole to Naruto, then to Naruto's bloodied fist, then the hole again. Hole, Naruto, fist. Fist, hole, Naruto. Fist, hole, Naruto, door, window, floor. Laughter.

"Stop laughing!" Naruto shouts, punching Kakashi in the shoulder.

"Oooh, Sakura is going to kill you so much," Kakashi says, smirking.

"She doesn't have to know, okay? I need your help."

"Aa. Of course you do, but if Sakura ever kills you, let me be around."

"To save me from the clutches of Death?"

Kakashi snorts. "To laugh while you get beaten."

"OI! Evil sensei!" Naruto shouts, and glares at the man.

"Well. We could find a way to cover that whole up, but there's still the problem of Sakura's neighbour. Think he's gonna notice there's a hole above his sink?" Kakashi asks, inwardly--and outwardly--laughing.

"Ungh," Naruto replies, already thinking what song he wants at his funeral, and which people shouldn't be invited. I wonder if wanting roses at my funeral would make me look as a nancy-boy.

"Look," Kakashi says, snapping Naruto out of his planning. The boy follows his sensei's pointing finger and lands on a mirror leaning on the wall, beneath the sink. "Sakura must have not had the time to put it up."

Naruto blinks, and continues looking at the mirror. It has a nice frame.

Kakashi sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "There's a mirror, Naruto."

"So?"

"It's big. And not broken."

"…So?"

"You were looking for something to cover that big hole you put into Sakura's bathroom wall, right?"

"Yeah…"

"MIRROR, NATURO!"

"ACK! Fine! I got it!"

"Finally."

"But," Naruto says, scratching the back of his head, "how do we hang it up without nails and hammer, and without being heard?"

There is a pause, in which Kakashi thinks. Naruto looks at his sensei in wonder. Look at him. Here stands a genius, devising a genius plan, to cover up that hole with that mirror and not be heard. Kakashi-sensei is really smart, he'll find a solution somehow!

Kakashi snaps his fingers, and Naruto prepares himself for the smart solution. "Chewing gum."

Silence. Somewhere far away, a bird chirps. Naruto stares at Kakashi, wondering when he's going to see that second head grow.

"Chewing gum," the boy repeats, raising a blond eyebrow.

"Well, it'll hold until we can sneak in again and use nails and a hammer."

"Okay…You got chewing gum on you?"

Half a minute later, Hatake Kakashi and Uzumaki Naruto are chewing two packets of chewing gum, looking out of breath, and as if they've just run into Sakura's fist. Ten times.

"Oo fink S'ra'll no'ice?" Naruto asks, tongue twisting in the sticky--but sweet flavoured!--substance.

Kakashi shrugs, after all, he's not the one who'll die if Sakura does notice there's a mirror stuck to her wall with chewing gum, and said mirror is hiding a big hole. She probably won't remember when she put the mirror up, and if they're lucky, maybe Naruto can buy himself a plane ticket out of Konoha by the time she sees the hole. And hopefully, the neighbour will continue not coming home, because, judging from the amount of dust in his bathroom, the flat's right about abandoned. Which suits them just fine.

Half an hour later, sweating, and out of breath, Kakashi and Naruto look up at their work in content. The mirror--which really does have a nice frame--has been stuck to the wall with a lot of pink chewing gum, and it holds. Naruto and Kakashi never want to see strawberry flavoured chewing gum again. Actually, they never want to see strawberries. Ever.

But the job is done, so they brush a proud tear from their eyes, and exit the bathroom silently. Their intention is to mingle for a while, then leave the party. The following morning, Naruto will come back and nail the mirror while Sakura is at her job. And after that, the plane ticket to some deserted island. At least, that's their intention. Unfortunately, not two steps from the bathroom, Gai appears behind them, swinging his arms around their shoulders and bringing them into a tight hug.

"It is so unfair that you should have to hide your love!" Gai says, among sobs.

"Hide…love…what?" Naruto chokes, struggling for air.

"I curse this society for making two people in love have to hide their love by sneaking into the bathroom! Curse this society, because one shouldn't be ashamed for being in love with one's younger student, Kakashi! After all, you are both in your rights to enjoy the flames of youth and love and, ooh! But I, Gai, will support you two, for that is what I do!" he shouted, and then let them go, and sprinting off to spread the news that Kakashi+Narutolove.

"Why can't you kill him?" Naruto asked.

"Because he's my friend…or something like that," Kakashi answered, his eye twitching. "Although I might make an exception."

"Can I watch?" Naruto asked, an evil grin coming over his face.


Later that night, after everyone had left, Sakura let herself fall onto her new bed, and sighed contently. She was finally free, finally alone, and finally independent. She could kick anyone's ass, her inner voice hadn't spoken a word in months, and the new flat rocked beyond imagination. The party had also been a hit, and all her teachers and ex-schoolmates congratulated her and wished her luck. Tomorrow, she'd start her job at the local snob club as a guardian-slash-bodyguard, she'd have money, and life was just great. There was that part where Gai had started telling everyone that Kakashi and Naruto were involved, ending with Kakashi knocking Gai unconscious, which lead to Lee clutching his mentor and cursing Kakashi, and that had been where Sakura decided the party was over. But all things considered, Naruto had behaved rather well. With that in mind, sleep took over.

The CLANG! coming from the bathroom wasn't noticed by the sleeping girl.

Several houses away, Naruto decided that maybe instead of roses he should ask for tulips. Tulips always looked nicer at funerals.


21/04/2006

Cella