A/N: Italicized text can represent several things (dialogue in another language, inner thoughts, flashbacks, etc.) please be aware of this and the context to better understand what is happening!


January

"You know this baby isn't due until March, right?" Brooke asked. She'd just gotten back from eating breakfast in the meeting room to find the older three Avengers turning her room inside out.

"Do you want to wait until the last minute?" Odette asked, not looking up from her task of assembling the crib. If they waited until the last minute, Odette would be gone, and it would just be Natasha and Steve helping Brooke. Which wasn't a bad thing, but it felt like there was just so much to do and hardly any time to do it.

Tony had been sending gifts almost weekly to the facility since Brooke had allowed Odette to tell the team about the baby, "and if he's spoiling Brooke this much for her kid, I can't imagine the amount of gifts poor Pepper is buried under." Odette thought to herself. Pepper wasn't far behind Brooke in her pregnancy, due roughly a month after Brooke.

"No." Brooke finally answered, "but, I would have liked to have helped."

"It's fine." Natasha reassured her, "we've got it handled."

And they did. Odette was building the crib (she had to push Steve aside after he nearly stripped a screw in frustration), Natasha was unboxing all of the gifts they'd pushed aside (damn you, Stark), and Steve was following orders from both women (which mostly involved moving furniture, and baby proofing Brooke's room).

"I can see that." Brooke said, crossing her arms as Steve sat down a box beside Odette.

She looked at it curiously. It was a reclining chair, with a picture of a woman and a baby sitting in the chair on all sides of the box. It was apparently meant to massage the mom while she rocked to get the baby to sleep. Odette raised an eyebrow and looked up at Steve.

"Stark." Was all he said.

Odette sighed. She'd get to it later. "Crib first." She reminded herself.

"Well, can I help?" Brooke asked, "I feel totally useless." She shrugged her shoulders helplessly when all three Avengers turned to her with various levels of deadpanned or incredulous expressions.

"Ya know what, kiddo, sure." Natasha said with a smile, "you can help me sort through this mountain of things," she motioned to said mountain of gifts that had been shoved in the corner as they arrived, "to what will be out when the baby gets here and what will stay in storage in one of the spare rooms."

"Wait, which room?" Brooke asked.

"Probably one of the twins, or maybe Vision's since it's the most empty—," Odette began to say when Brooke cut her off.

"You can't do that." She insisted. The three turned to her in shock. "Please." Brooke pleaded, suddenly teary eyed.

Steve and Natasha were by her side in an instant, and Odette sat her tools down to stand up and join them. "Kiddo, what's wrong?" Natasha asked, quickly pushing Brooke's hair back so it wouldn't stick to her face as tears began to overflow out of her eyes.

"I just," Brooke pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes and leaned her head back, taking a gasping breath of air as her hormones surged within her. The floor lamp by her bed gave a hum and her TV turned onto a static channel. This proved to only stress Brooke out more as she began to hyperventilate.

"Brooke, sweetie," Odette grabbed her upper arms in an attempt to lower them from her face, "What's the matter?"

"Deep breaths, bud." Steve rubbed her back gently.

Brooke finally pulled her hands away from her red face and fanned herself. Her eyelashes were wet with tears, and her nostrils flared as she tried to contain her emotions. She followed Steve's orders, taking a deep breath as she slowly relaxed. "I just," her voice broke once more and she bit her quivering lip, "If you put stuff in their rooms, like storage," Odette mimicked taking a deep breath and Brooke instinctively followed her lead, "it'll be like...pushing them aside, you know? Like...like making it really real that they're really gone?" Another deep breath. "I don't know." She cried out, pulling away just enough to cross her arms, "do what you gotta, I don't care." She furrowed her eyebrows as she turned on her heels and walked away.

"Brooke!"

"Hey, bud, come on!"

"Brooke, sweetie!"

They called after her.

Brooke did not come back.

Odette immediately squeezed past her teammates to follow her, "Brooke," she jogged to catch up to the waddling woman, "Brooke, sweetie," she reached out, but an energy field buzzed around her skin, making her untouchable. Odette frowned, "You know Dr. Carter advised you to be careful with your powers."

Brooke threw her hands up in frustration, "I know! Okay?! Geeze." She huffed. Odette followed her as she went up the stairs, "I just...I hate being stuck at home all the time, and I hate not seeing my friends in-person, and I hate not being able to do my job—," she grunted as she hoisted herself slowly up the stairs. "I hate being useless, and I hate being emotional, and I hate all of this," she arched her back as best she could once she got to the top of the stairs. "This being pregnant stuff without…" She took a few deep breaths, and waved Odette's concerned hands away, "I'm just so tired." She groaned, shuffling into the lounge to flop down dramatically on the couch. She patted around her, looking for the remote.

"The world does not need Energy Current right now." Odette firmly reminded Brooke as she followed her into the lounge. Brooke found the remote and turned the TV on, ignoring her. Odette stood before her with her hands on her hips. "Right now, the person who needs you the most is that baby," she nodded to Brooke, "And that baby needs Brooke May-Ellen Field." Brooke kept her arms crossed and said nothing. Odette sighed as she sat down beside her, "If you don't want us using their rooms as storage, that's fine, we'll find another solution...okay?" She asked, hoping that would ease Brooke's emotions back down to a more stable place.

Brooke sighed, deflated, "Okay." She agreed.

"Okay." Odette nodded to confirm it, "Will you be okay if I go back to your room?" She asked.

"Yeah." Brooke shrugged her off.

Odette sighed, but left to return to her task of building the crib. She paused at the bottom of the stairs and reached up to feel the dog tags around her neck. "How did I survive without you before?" She wondered to herself. "How will I survive without you now?" Pushing aside the ache in her chest, Odette turned the corner into Brooke's room.

Steve looked up from his spot on the floor with half of Brooke's new crib on his lap. He opened his mouth to say something, but Natasha cut him off.

"He stripped a screw." She said, grabbing fistfuls of wrapping paper and stuffing it into a garbage bag.

Odette chuckled and shook her head at the ridiculousness of it all. "Here, let me take over." She motioned for Steve to hand her her screwdriver. He slapped it in her hand and returned to his Natasha-appointed task of boxing up the extra or unneeded things.

"When do you leave for your Memorial tour?" Natasha asked.

"Three days, why?" Odette asked. She was surprised Natasha didn't know; Natasha knew the schedule of almost all of the active Avengers. Odette was excited to be out in the world again. She missed it. Even with everything going on, she missed the world dearly.

"Okoye and Rhodey wanted to know." Natasha answered, "They both offered protection if you wanted it."

Odette resisted the urge to bite back a sharp retort, "I've handled myself just fine over the years," she reminded her friend.

"If you count nearly being run through as 'handling yourself just fine', then sure." Natasha smirked at her.

"We've been around each other too much." Odette said. "I think a break will be good." She thought.


For the first time in months, Odette was beyond the safety of the Avenger's facility. And she wasn't counting the unveiling of the Avenger's Memorial because even then she at least had her team and friends to back her up. Now, she was alone.

She'd been busy unveiling Memorials around the world, and she was trying to unveil as many as she could before Brooke's due date in mid-March. She wouldn't get to them all, but if she could get most of them out of the way she would rest easier.

Natasha had tried to joke that Odette should have saved the majority for after the baby was born so she could be away from the inevitable screaming, but Odette would rather be home to help Brooke than be constantly traveling.

Romania was just as cold as she remembered it to be during January. She shuffled her feet together as she waited for the President and Prime Minister to finish their speeches. It had been a while since she'd spoken any Romanian, so she could only catch every other word, but she remained attentive, nonetheless.

She kept her hands curled up in her pockets, cursing her schedule for putting her on the road while half the world was experiencing winter. Snow fell and nearly blinded her, but she remained frozen to her seat.

When it was her turn to speak, she had to use a translator to run through the speech she'd tailored to the people of Romania. She'd say a sentence, wait for the translator to finish translating what she was saying, then say the next sentence. She knew she didn't have to wait, but it gave her a chance to shiver and collect herself before her next thought. It also helped keep her tears at bay, she couldn't have her eyes turning into ice balls while on the road.

As all the previous ceremonies had gone, an applause and sounds of awe and mourning came from the crowd as the tarps fell from the memorial.

She went through the motions of the ceremony, allowing people to come up and thank her for remembering their lost loved ones, tell her their sorry tales of that day, and thank her for her continuous protection of the Earth.

She was honestly numb to it all by now.

Sitting in a cold hotel room, Odette opened up her laptop and made a call home. Steve answered almost immediately despite it being near four-thirty in the morning. "Are you sleeping in your office?" She asked quietly, a small chuckle bouncing her words.

Steve inhaled sharply, waking himself up, "No." He lied.

Odette smiled sympathetically. "Steve…"

"You called." Steve pointed out, "I'm just answering."

"You've got me there." Odette admitted.

"How was the ceremony?" Steve asked, trying his best to look awake and interested.

"Like every other ceremony." She answered. "How are things at home?"

"Fine." Steve answered stiffly, though she could tell that was just due to him still processing the fact that he was awake. "Fine." He repeated himself and stretched. When Odette didn't immediately say anything further, Steve blinked the sleep away from his eyes, "Is everything alright?" He asked.

Odette hummed, pulling herself out of her thoughts, "Hmm? Oh...yes. Sorry. I just," She sighed heavily and rubbed her hands over her eyes. It was barely noon, but she was exhausted, "I miss home." It felt strange to be saying so, especially since before she left home, she had been anxious to leave. "But I'm not fighting," Odette told herself as she warmed up her hands by sticking them between her thighs, "I'm not even surviving...I'm just...working. And this is bureaucracy work, at that."

Steve smiled sadly, "Sorry to hear that." Odette huffed and blew one of her loose curls back out of her face. "We miss you, too." He added quietly.

Odette sighed, but smiled, "Just a few more weeks and I'll be home." She reminded them both.

"Counting them down." Steve said.

Odette let out a single, breathy chuckle. Taking a deep breath she said, "It's weird...I'm doing these ceremonies in remembrance of the people we've lost." She frowned, "But," she shook her head, looking off to the side, "It still hasn't sunk in that we've really lost everyone."

"Oh…"

"I mean," Odette added quickly, "I obviously feel our own loss much more." Her throat grew tight, "I miss Sam," the corners of her eyes burned, "And Bucky. I miss the Twins." She swallowed the hard lump that had grown in her throat, "but...the rest of the world seems so...normal…"

"I think," Steve said slowly, "I think they're doing what we're all trying to do...move on."

"Move on." Odette repeated quietly.

"Isn't that the point of the Memorials?" Steve asked, "To have some kind of closure?"

Odette sighed and nodded, "Yeah." She gave a half-hearted shrug, "I don't know...maybe I'm just tired." She raised one hand and rested her elbow on the desk. She rubbed her forehead with her thumb and forefinger. "I wanted to leave...now I want to go home…" Thinking about it too much gave her a headache.

Steve chuckled. "You're tired?" He asked in an accusatory manner.

"You chose to sleep in your office." She teased him.

"I still don't get why you don't just teleport to these places and stay here?" Steve asked.

"Because," Odette reminded him, "Brooke advised me that being with the people will garner more support, and after the whole Stryker incident, we need all the support we can get." Steve nodded. "Besides, it also just shows them that we're not all talk. That we do care. And we do care." She pointed out.

"Okay, okay, you're right," Steve rested his elbows on his desk and held his hands up in defense. He sighed as he lowered them back onto the desk, "I just miss you."

Odette ignored the warm tightening of her chest. "I miss you, too." She instinctively said back.

"I don't like it when you're a world away." Steve said.

"Stop that." She wanted to scold him. Instead, she said, "At least I'm calling this time." She forced herself to smile.

Steve nodded slowly, "You've got me there." He chuckled.

"How's Brooke?" Odette asked, wanting to quickly divert from their current line of conversation.

Steve inhaled sharply, crossing his arms on his desk as he rolled himself closer, "She's doing alright. Dr. Carter says everything is looking great."

Odette nodded, "Good." She replied absentmindedly.

"She complains a lot. Says she actually misses working out." Steve added. Odette nearly snorted. Steve smiled. "And she spends a lot of her days in the lounge with Nat watching these god-awful old movies." He grimaced, but also smiled. Endearing.

"Wow, you're commenting on 'old' movies?" Odette questioned with a teasing smirk.

"Yeah, yeah." Steve rolled his eyes, "Odette, they're bad." He chuckled.

"You know Nat loves those cheesy films." Odette reminded him.

"They're so bad." Steve buried his head in his hands and Odette let out an actual laugh.

"So, I take it Nat is doing okay, too?" Odette asked.

"Yeah," Steve nodded, "She's been taking all of her business online. She wants to be here to help Brooke."

"I wish I was home." Odette mumbled, shaking her head.

"I wish you were, too." Steve agreed, having heard her.

"Stop." Odette wanted to say. She said nothing.

Steve, sensing a change in her mood, asked, "So, where are you off to next?" He asked.

"Uhh," Odette looked at the planner she had with her, "Taking a small detour to the Sokovia Memorial, then it's off to Croatia." She answered. "My last stop before coming home will be Wakanda."

Steve's eyebrows shot up, "Croatia? Fun."

Odette couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips, "You have no clue where Croatia is, do you?"

"I know it's by Romania. And I know we've never been there." He answered, a tired smirk tugging back his lips. "Speaking of the war," Odette tried to hide the fact that her smile wavered. Thankfully, Steve either didn't notice, or he chose to skip over that train of thought, "Did you hear The Hornet was found?"

"The carrier?" Odette asked.

"The one that was sunk in forty-two." Steve nodded.

"No," Odette shook her head, "Where did they find it?" She had been undercover at the time, but Lohmer had made comments on how, if the weapons at his factory had been deployed to "The Japs" they would have sunken the Hornet in half the time it had actually taken.

"Off the coast of the Solomon Islands." Steve answered.

"That's...funny." Odette couldn't help herself.

Steve looked at her incredulously. "What?" He asked.

"It's just...another world war two relic found at the bottom of the ocean." She chuckled, "Sound familiar?"

Steve realized the connection she was making and pressed his lips together, trying not to smile, "We were found in ice." He reminded her, "Not the bottom of the ocean."

Still, Odette couldn't help but snicker at herself. Boy, she must have really been tired to find the sinking of a ship and the loss of its crew funny. She shook her head, sighing as she settled back down. "Alright. Well, it's early there, and I'm tired over here. So, I'm going to let you go." Steve nodded absentmindedly, "Go to your own bed and get some real sleep, okay, Steve?"

"Yes ma'am." Steve gave her a mock salute.

"I mean it, Rogers." She scolded him.

Steve deadpanned, "Watch it, Swann. A world away or not, I still outrank you."

"Wow, pulling rank on me," Odette laughed, "how low."

Steve smiled through their banter, "Good night, Odette."

"Good afternoon, Steve." Odette smiled back.

"Bye." Steve signed off.

"Friday?"

"Yes ma'am?" Friday's voice came through her laptop's speakers.

"Can you make sure Steve gets some sleep? Turn his alarm off, tell the girls that he's sleeping?" She suggested.

"Of course, ma'am." Friday obliged, "Would you like me to dim his windows as well?"

"If you wouldn't mind." Odette thanked her.

More cities, more countries.

Everything blurred together.

Odette was practically counting the seconds as she went through the motions of the ceremonies that followed in the following days. Waiting until she could go home.

Croatia.

Slovenia.

Italy.

Austria.

Several cities in a day for each country, so many people.

If the cold didn't have Odette wearing a mask and a scarf every day, she would have been concerned about getting sick. Thankfully, the European countries seemed to have a better handle on the Snap Plague than the states. It didn't stop her from protecting herself, but at least people weren't coming up to her visibly sick.

Despite scolding Steve on his horrible sleep schedule, Odette couldn't stop herself from calling him every night.

She missed him terribly.

Every time they were apart, she missed him more than she cared to admit.

"It's just a result of us always being together. I'm just used to him being with me." She told herself as she flopped back on another hotel bed in another country. "That's all." She thought, "That's all! I swear!" She didn't know who she was defending herself to since she was alone, but she felt the need to do so regardless.

The more she thought of her eventual return home, the more her face grew red, the more warmth spread from her stomach up around her chest and neck, and the back of her head. "Why does this keep happening?!" She wanted to scream. Grabbing a pillow, Odette pressed her face into it and groaned. "Is this why I miss home so much!? Because of Steve?" It had never been this bad, being away from him. She'd been just fine, happy even, when she was living with Bucky. Sure she missed Steve, but she was never like—like this? What was this?

After taking a moment to breathe, she reached down and clutched the dog tags around her neck.

The tags had been with her through everything. The loss of Bucky. The ice. Waking up in the twenty-first century. The Invasion of New York. Working with S.H.I.E.L.D.. The downfall of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the revival of HYDRA. Ultron. The Accords. Killmonger's coup. The simple life in Wakanda. Thanos. The Snap. Space travel. Stryker.

James B Barnes

Bucky's dog tags were warm with promises of a life that was lost a long time ago, and yet, she couldn't bear to part with them.

They were a familiar weight that she feared would be missed if she even thought of taking them off. Hell, taking them off felt like saying 'goodbye' to Bucky and everything they had shared.

And…

She just couldn't do it.

No matter how much she cared about Steve, how happy he made her...she couldn't part with the part of her that cared about Bucky.

What's wrong?

Everything.

Odette didn't feel like talking to Carol. She shut off their line of communication before it could go any further.

"Why? Why is this happening?" She whined as she squeezed her eyes shut.

She was behaving like a child. Holding onto childish dreams and ideas. She needed to wake up and face the music.

Bucky was dead and gone.

Permanently.

She had seen it with her own eyes, felt it as his body shifted from being whole and weighted to being dusted and light.

The kind of death he had was one that couldn't be undone. Especially since Thanos had made extra sure of that by destroying the Infinity Stones.

Odette pulled her legs up onto the bed and rolled to her side to press the dog tags to her chest. She cried.

She cried her heart and soul out in a strange room in a strange place.

She cried for the life she lost, the life she never got to have.

Some distant part of her needed to feel protected, so she wrapped herself up in a force field, the same kind that protected her and Steve during their nearly-seventy-year nap.

Hot energy throbbed out of her, washing off the edges of the bed, crawling around the floor, and snaking up the walls. She was encompassed in a burning heat and freezing cold pocket of space that shielded her from the world.

Arcs of energy bolted off her as energy hummed around the hotel room.

And Odette cried.

She cried so much.

Her heart ached, and her soul felt empty.

All of her emotions crushed her under their weight.

"It's too much!" Odette wanted to wail and scream. But she just silently sobbed, her lips quivering as hot, salty tears dribbled down her nose and chin.

She covered her ears as though that could help her, curling up into a tighter ball as if hoping she might disappear into herself.

She stayed like that for hours, ignoring her escorts and calls to work.

Eventually, she cried so much that her body grew hot and exhausted.

Unable to keep the tension in her body any longer, Odette allowed the energy and tension to roll off her in waves. Hot, fiery energy practically evaporated off of her.

Then, with a deep breath, Odette smoothed out her clothes, her hair, and touched herself up in the hotel bathroom.

Putting on a brave face, she left the bathroom, left her hotel room, and found her hosts.


"It is good to see you, Doctor." Okoye smiled as Odette walked up to the throne room doors.

Odette smiled back, "It's good to see you, General." She stopped before the other woman. They each crossed an arm over their chests and bowed their heads. Upon lifting her head, Odette asked, "How have things been?"

"Rough." Okoye admitted, "Queen Mother has called for assistance from the other tribes."

"And M'Baku, is he cooperating?" Odette asked. The Jabari Tribe leader had survived The Snap, but Odette had not seen nor heard from him since leaving the battlefield to join Vision in the forest.

"He is the only one cooperating." Okoye explained. The two turned towards the throne room doors, "The other tribes are reluctant to let outsiders in again."

Odette sighed as she looked down and straightened out her clothes. T'Challa had made so many moves to open Wakanda to the world. And for a while, the other Tribe leaders allowed him to do so. "Apparently with him gone, they want to go back to isolation." She thought with a frown, "And the queen?" she asked.

"Is fighting to keep the King's wishes alive." Okoye answered as the rest of the Dora Milaje arrived. Odette caught Ayo's eye and smiled at her. Ayo flashed a brief, polite smile before she turned forward.

Odette did so as well and allowed the Dora Milaje to announce her to the Tribe Council and walk her in. She walked in line and walked past the end of the Dora Milaje that lined the path towards the council members.

Despite looking exhausted, Ramonda still had an air of elegance and strength around her. She smiled at Odette. "Welcome back to Wakanda, Doctor." She said in her gentle, but firm voice.

Odette's smile widened, "Queen mother." She knew Ramonda had told her not to use the Wakanda bow with her, but she still did so as the rest of the Tribe leaders were watching her. Odette looked back up, "Thank you for allowing me back into your beautiful country."

"Come," Ramonda motioned to the chair—clearly brought it from elsewhere in the Citadel—to her right, "sit with us." Odette walked around the outside of the council, all too aware of their eyes on her, and sat down as quietly and as gracefully as she could.

"Now that we are all here," Ramonda rightened herself in her chair. Odette noticed it was not T'Challa's throne. His chair was set back by the large window overlooking the city with a sheer black drape covering it. A sign of mourning and respect, no doubt. "We have come together to discuss the Memorial Event." Odette gripped the fabric covering her knees, hoping no one else noticed how tense she was.

The elder Tribe leaders spoke up, one by one, none of them sounding too thrilled or excited. A few hard glances and gestures were made her way. Odette hadn't picked up much of the languages of Wakanda outside of the few formalities in the Golden Tribe, but she did know when people were upset.

She glanced at Ramonda, who looked impassive as everyone spoke. The tribe leaders only spoke for as long as Ramonda looked at them, and once she looked away, they were done. Odette's eyes flitted between Ramonda and whoever happened to be speaking. Once the other tribe members were done, Ramonda turned to M'Baku, who sat on the other side of Odette.

M'Baku, who had been nearly slouching, with one leg crossed over the other, suddenly sat up and uncrossed his legs. He rested his elbows on his knees and locked his fingers together.

"An outsider ruined our peace." He said, "outsiders brought an impossible fight to our land. Outsiders take our resources with no way to repay us. Outsiders cost us our king."

Odette's throat felt dry.

"But," M'Baku sat up straight now, "An outsider saved our king," he glanced at Odette before turning back to the leaders, "an outsider supported our king and our people in battle, not just once, but twice. And the outsiders who fought on our land supported our king. Now, it is our duty to carry out his legacy."

Odette knew the Jabari were opposed to most of the technological advances Wakanda had made, and were more for isolation than integration, so to hear M'Baku support T'Challa's mission of opening Wakanda to the world...it made Odette smile. She could see Ramonda nod out of the corner of her eye and turn to Odette.

Odette looked at her, shocked, "oh," she wasn't a tribe leader, nor a Wakandan, why did Ramonda want her to speak?!

Odette swallowed, "I agree with M'Baku that we should honor T'Challa's wish to see Wakanda join the world. However," she could feel everyone's eyes on her as she tried her best to remain professional and calm. "I am also aware that circumstances change." M'Baku shifted in his seat to better look at her. "With sicknesses rampant, I feel it is not safe to open Wakanda to the world for this particular ceremony—,"

You would have thought she'd just called the queen mother a turkey the way everyone seemed to burst into arguments.

How can they respect T'Challa's wishes and stay closed?

If they close Wakanda off to some people, they would have to close themselves off to everyone!

If the sicknesses were as bad as Odette made them out to be, then T'Challa's wishes be damned, they weren't risking more of their own people's lives just so people had an excuse to use their resources!

"Siwi," M'Baku tapped her arm. She turned to him. "T'Challa would want us to be open for the world to mourn. The end of half of us started here, people should be able to come freely and—,"

"And nothing!" One of the Tribe women scolded, "They brought the fight here, it is their fault we lost our king. We should be the ones able to freely mourn!"

"I'm not saying you don't have a right to your land and your mourning," Odette tried to remain calm, but her patience was wearing thin. Wakanda was the last stop in the first half of her World Memorial Tour, as requested by Ramonda. She would be here for a few days (again, as requested by Ramonda), and they would celebrate the memorial and the lives they'd lost.

Ramonda stood suddenly, cutting off all conversations. Everyone turned to her. "We will proceed with the ceremony." Odette felt a small weight rise off her shoulders. "Due to the current climate of the world, we shall remain closed." And the weight was back. "However," the weight hovered over her shoulders, "we will record the event for the world to see in real time. We will still be open with the world, but we will be closed and safe."

And that seemed to satisfy everyone. The other Tribe leaders slowly left, one by one, back to the respective suites, leaving only Odette, Ramonda, M'Baku, Okoye, and Ayo in the throne room.

"That went surprisingly well, queen mother." Okoye pointed out.

Ramonda nodded in agreement, "we are all tired," she answered, then she looked at Odette, "As I'm sure you are from your many travels over the past few weeks."

Odette nodded, "I am glad to be back out in the world, but I may have bitten off more than I can chew."

"Hopefully not too much," Ramonda said, when Odette cocked up a curious eyebrow, she said, "We're having a celebration tomorrow after your Memorial Ceremony."

"Oh." Was all Odette could say. She'd been hoping to head straight home after the ceremony, but if Ramonda wanted her to stay, that meant she wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. "Wonderful…more time in a place I really don't want to be." She bit her tongue to keep from showing her displeasure.

Unaware of the tension in her shoulders, Ramonda said, "We have a suite prepared for you, if you would like to retire." She turned to Ayo, who was already stepping up beside Odette.

Odette smiled and bowed her head politely, "thank you." She turned to Ayo and motioned for her to join her side as she bid her goodbyes to the others.

For a moment, Ayo and Odette walked together in silence. Sunlight poured in through large, magnificent windows, and Odette recalled her first time being in the Citadel; of T'Challa and Shuri excitedly giving her a tour, telling her not only their people's history, but their own personal history within the walls, and how beautiful and new everything seemed to be. The Citadel was still beautiful, and still teeming with life since the Tribe leaders were currently staying in the various guest suites, but without T'Challa or Shuri there to brighten up the rooms...it felt empty.

"Or perhaps…"

"I was sad to hear what had happened to our white wolf." Ayo said suddenly, breaking the silence.

Odette's heart felt heavy, "that…" she realized.

"I could not tell you before." Ayo said, "But know, we mourned with you. We mourned for you."

"How oddly comforting." Odette thought as Ayo came to a stop in front of one of the suites...her old guest suite. Taking a deep breath, and swallowing the hard lump that had grown in her throat, Odette did her best to smile at Ayo, "Thank you for all of your help, Ayo. Without you and Okoye giving him purpose, I think he would have been in a much worse state." Ayo nodded and left Odette on her own.

She entered the suite. Obviously in the nearly three years since she had occupied this suite, other people had occupied it and signs of her time living in the Citadel had been erased and sterilized. Which was just fine with her.

Odette let her shoulders sag and let the tension she'd been carrying roll off her shoulders once the door was locked behind her. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and started walking towards the bed. The phone rang as she turned and sat on the edge of the bed.

And rang.

And...rang?

"You've reached Rogers. Please leave a voicemail and I'll get back to you soon." Steve's automated voicemail spoke to her.

"Odd...but maybe he's actually asleep in his own room." Odette thought, shrugging and tossing her phone to the side. She took a deep breath and stood up, crossing the large space to the windows where she saw the city come alive for a second time as the sun dipped below the horizon and a million little lights lit up. Every light, a person still alive, basking in the night life of the Golden City, trying to move on from the loss the whole world felt. Odette closed her eyes and tucked her chin into her chest, her hands came up to press to her heart in an attempt to ease the pain she felt.

"Come back to bed. It's late."

Odette disappeared from her suite. She collapsed to her knees as the cool night air hit her face. She opened her eyes and found herself kneeling in a patch of dirt. She let go of the breath she'd been holding and looked up.

"Home." She thought, a wave of sadness nearly knocking her to all fours as she lunged forward. She staggered and stumbled onto her feet as she pushed herself up and ran towards the little hut she and Bucky had called home for nearly two years. She reached the door and gripped the sculpted frame to keep herself from crossing the threshold. The inside was dark and empty, void of life. All that remained were the few belongings she and Bucky had accumulated over their two years in the little sanctuary. The scrappy furniture she'd made, the blankets they used, the shawls Bucky rotated between to keep his empty shoulder protected.

Energy crackled and arched from her skin as she stepped into the small hut. Odette had to force herself to breathe. "Not again." She wanted to whine.

Instead of having a full-blown meltdown, however, she dropped to her knees once more and pounded her fists into the earth.

It wasn't ladylike.

It wasn't responsible.

It wasn't mature.

It wasn't fair.

Every time she came close to finding peace with her demons—finding peace with Bucky—it was ripped away from her.

Zola.

HYDRA.

Ross.

Zemo.

Thanos.

It was as if the universe had something against the two of them being happy, safe, and at peace. Odette regretted every second she had willingly left Bucky alone on the farm. If she had stayed, she could have enjoyed the last few precious moments she could have had with him. But the call of work...Steve's call...she had to go.

Why did she always have to go?

Why did Bucky always have to go?

Odette continued to pound into the dirt floor until her knuckles bled and she thoroughly exhausted herself. Only once her arms started to burn and ache did she stop. She panted heavily and stayed on the floor, looking at her dirty and bloody knuckles until her head began to feel fuzzy. Odette didn't bother standing up, she crawled to the bed she'd shared with Bucky, and crawled under the cold, too-large blanket that covered the cold, too-large bed.

The ache in her chest didn't go away as she drifted into a nightmare-filled sleep, nor did it go away when she woke up to a familiar, yet empty bed.

Part of her knew she had to get up and get back to the Citadel for the ceremony today, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the bed. Odette rubbed the blanket between her fingers. It wasn't thin, but it wasn't stuffy and hot. It was perfect for the pair of World War two veterans. Odette stayed warm and Bucky stayed cool. The bed was perfect, too. It was stiff and supportive, like sleeping on the ground. It reminded them of being on the job back in the forties.

"Do you miss anything about New York?" Bucky asked one evening when sleep seemed so far out of reach. His one arm was currently being used as a pillow, but he was still able to roll his wrist back and run his fingers through Odette's curls.

Odette thought for a moment. "I don't think there's any one thing I miss." She finally said, "I just miss…it." Bucky hummed, letting her know he'd heard her. "That doesn't mean I would want to go back without you." She added. "The next time I go to New York, you'll be with me. Everything will be better."

"What if that never happens?" Bucky turned his head to look at her.

"It will." Odette said.

"Odette…" Bucky sighed that sigh that told her he'd been sinking into deeper and darker thoughts than this seemingly innocent conversation was meant to lead her to believe.

"Bucky." Odette said back to him. She pushed herself up and turned over to cross her arms over his chest and rest her chin on her arms. Bucky stared down at her. "I'll get you home one day…all we need is a chance." Truth be told, she and Steve still had no idea how they were going to get back to New York. The rift that had been formed with Tony had been deep, it hurt. And there was no way Secretary Ross was going to just let them come back. He fully blamed Steve and Odette—and the other Avengers—for every bad thing that had happened since twenty-twelve. "One day." She mumbled, tilting her head to fully rest on her arm.

Bucky gave her a flickering smile. "One day." He repeated.

"One day…" Odette mumbled to herself. She was able to return to New York, but it hadn't been with Bucky. Sighing, Odette stood up. The blanket slipped off her and Odette stared at the gray fabric. Silently, she folded the blanket up and hugged it to her chest as she teleported back to her suite in the Citadel.

Thankfully, no one seemed to notice or point out her disappearance to her. She showered, got dressed, and had breakfast in her room as she waited for the ceremony to begin. She tried to call Steve again, but her call went to voicemail once more. "Odd…" She mused to herself. She tried to call Natasha, but her number went straight to voicemail. "Very odd."

"Doctor," Ayo's voice came through the door at the same time as a series of knocks, "We're ready for you."

True to her word, Ramonda had the ceremony recorded. Odette went through the motions of speaking to those who were in attendance about the sacrifices the Avengers and everyday heroes made every day. But here, in Wakanda, she added something more.

Odette took a deep breath as she finished her normal speech, "I would also like to say," She said, "That the loss I feel whenever I do these ceremonies, is felt tenfold here today." She glanced down at her notes before looking back up at the people who watched her with awestruck and teary eyes. "King T'Challa did not have to open his country to me after the events that occurred in Vienna and Schkeuditz. But he did. He opened his country, his home," Odette glanced at Ramonda to her right, "his family. He showed compassion when others showed distrust. He showed the world what it meant to be a true king and leader when the rest of the world wanted to see a small man with smaller principles." Ramonda dabbed at her eyes. Odette's throat grew tighter with every word, "King T'Challa and Princess Shuri both did me favors I can never repay." She shook her head, "But I will make sure that everyone knows their name, and never forgets them."

The crowd of Wakandans that had gathered to see the unveiling live all gasped as Odette turned. A group of guards unveiled the memorial fountain that would stand outside the Citadel. Like all the other ceremonies, Odette did not look at the fountain. She couldn't. She'd only burst into tears, and she was so sick and tired of crying all the time.

She went through her motions, accepting thanks and well-wishes from strangers. Thankfully, though, Ramonda got most of the grief and sob stories. She handled it with grace, though, and Odette couldn't help the twinge of jealousy and how well adapted the queen seemed to be to this kind of situation.

"Of course she is. She's lost her husband already…then she nearly lost T'Challa and Wakanda…" Odette envied the power Ramonda had. As the people thinned out, Odette pulled out her phone and checked it again. Still no calls or messages. Not from Steve, or Natasha. Nothing from Brooke.

It was weird.

"What is going on?" Odette wondered with a frown.

Fortunately, Odette didn't have time to ponder why her teammates had suddenly given her radio silence as she was whisked deeper into the Golden City as a celebration began. Ramonda was, thankfully, by her side for most of the celebration. Even though Wakanda had suffered the brunt of Thanos's attack, they did not mourn in the typical way. They believed that death was just another step in life to take, they celebrated the people they'd lost, knowing that they were continuing their life on another plane, on another level of existence, and that one day they would be reunited.

It was a comforting thought.

Odette couldn't help but find herself drawn into the beauty, life, and culture of Wakanda once more and she found herself smiling for the first time in a long time. She laughed and ate, she politely declined the offers to dance and sing, she watched young and old celebrate and laugh and cry and she smiled. At one point, a collection of kids made their way to the superhero, telling her stories of their own heroisms and begging to hear stories from her. Stories about her time saving New York. Stories about saving T'Challa. They wanted to hear it all. And Odette obliged, at first trying her best to keep her stories short and relatively appropriate. But as time went on, she became more animated and she was jumping on benches, lifting kids into the air, showcasing her powers.

She felt alive.

She smiled so much, as she and Ramonda made their way back to the Citadel near dusk, she said, "I don't think I've smiled this much in…months." Sure, she had days that were better than others, and Steve always made it a point to say how much he liked when she smiled, but when was the last time she'd actually smiled all day? Laughed a full-bellied laugh? Sat and listened to stories and told stories of her own? When was the last time she'd loved life?

"It suits you." Ramonda said, "Being with the people." She turned and looked back at the city, still beating with energy, "You are a natural leader."

"Me?" Odette asked incredulously, "No." She shook her head, "No. Not me."

"No?" Ramonda asked, raising her eyebrows as if she didn't believe Odette for one second.

"I follow orders. I don't make them." Odette laughed.

"Well, you should." Ramonda said, "The people naturally flock to you. They love you."

Odette shrugged helplessly, "I…I don't think so." She continued to shake her head, "I put on a good show, that's all."

"Mhm." Ramonda hummed, clearly not believing her at all.

Odette decided not to press her luck with the confident woman, and instead thanked her for the ceremony, and wished her goodnight. Ramonda thanked her, and in an act that surprised Odette, she pulled her close and hugged her.

"You have brought me peace." Ramonda whispered, choked up.

Odette hugged her back, knowing that all Ramonda needed right now was an empathetic pair of arms to hold her. And she was happy to oblige.

After finally wishing each other goodnight one last time, Odette returned to her room and checked her phone one last time.

Still nothing.

"Okay…now I'm getting worried." Odette frowned. She called Steve once more.

Nothing.

She called Natasha.

Nothing.

She called Brooke.

"Hello?" Brooke answered, panting heavily.

"Brooke?" Odette was shocked at how quickly her niece had replied. Even with her phone stuck to her hand it usually took Brooke a few rings to answer. "An immediate answer means—," Odette took a breath, "What's going on? Where are you?"

"What do you mean?" Brooke drew out the first word, "I'm at home. We're all at home."

Odette put a hand on her hip, "Really?" She heard an explosion, and her heart came to a full stop in her chest. An icy chill ran down her spine. "Where. Are. You." She demanded.

"The city." Brooke answered quickly, then she grunted, "Everything's fine."

"Brooke! Get down!" She could hear Steve shout in the background.

"Steve?" Odette questioned. "Brooke May-Ellen Field. What is going on?" She wasn't sure if she should be angry or scared, and she clenched her teeth in anticipation.

"Everything's fine. We've got it under control!" Brooke quickly reassured her.

"Brooke!"

"Gotta go, love you, bye!" Brooke hung up on her.

"Brooke!" Odette stared at her 'call ended' screen. With a frustrated groan, she snatched her blanket off her bed and disappeared from the Citadel.


Thank you to everyone who has already favorited/followed/reviewed!

Ooooh it is so good to be back! I actually smiled as I clicked on my Doc Manager to upload this chapter. I missed this story and updating it.

I'll say, it's getting a little harder to stretch out events and chapters. I'll probably go to the first anniversary of The Snap then skip around until we get back on track with canon, but we'll see. I probably rewrote this chapter, and the next chapter a dozen times, so I hope it was worth the wait. We get to see more of Odette's trauma and her complex feelings, which is always fun.

I'm not going to make you guys wait another five weeks for the next chapter like I mentioned last chapter. I should have the next chapter edited and ready to go by Thursday. Chapter three of Energy Current should also be coming out on Thursday, but more on that on Thursday.

Thank you all so much for your patience and understanding!

See you Thursday!