"Its completely unacceptable conduct and it will NOT be TOLERATED! DO WE UNDERSTAND EACHOTHER?"

Even Reno had to wince at the tone and volume of Tseng's voice. Everything had come out in the open, the open meaning a Turks Only meeting about the previous mission. Rude had brought forward what he had seen Elena doing, sneaking around after Reno and Yazoo that night, keeping the disks and going off to meet with Cloud. Reno had given his report on the mission, stating how Elena had deliberately failed to alert teammates about the Zolom and how when she had finally taken action, purposely misfired and then later attempted to get one of the clones killed when he attempted to help her by taking no action at all. Elena hadn't denied any of it, just sat there with a scowl.

Reno had to admit that he hated this. It was never a good thing when a Turk had to be dressed down, it had happened to him a few times and he knew it didn't feel good. But if there was ever a situation where it was necessary this was it.

Elena nodded at Tseng's question. Tseng was furious. That alone was something that rarely happened and it was scary as hell. "Your personal feelings towards Yazoo and Loz should not interfere with your job as a Turk. By failing to alert them of the coming danger you not only placed them in danger but also your comrades. If the clones had been injured or killed so as to be unable to fight, the monster would have turned on you three, two of which could have been caught completely unaware as well! You disobeyed a direct order from the president by failing to destroy the data disks which can be potentially harmful to the company. You conspired with someone who used to be our enemy to help with the death of Shinra personnel, like it or not they both belong to Shinra and-"

"They are monsters! Take a look at the data! Yazoo himself murdered someone in cold blood when he was nine years old! A SOLDIER no less! Why wont you just-" Elena had guts to interrupt the boss like that. Tseng seemed to take it in stride though, even letting an ironic smile appear as he cut off her rambling.

"I have seen the data. Rude transferred it to me when he found it to verify the contents. If you would have looked at the incident you described more closely you would have noted that the scientists conducting that particular experiment told Yazoo that they would slay Kadaj if he did not comply. They held him at gunpoint while Yazoo fought. You saw what you wanted to see Elena." Tseng paused here, watching for her reaction. Elena refused to look at her superior. Reno and Rude shifted slightly, uncomfortably.

"You forget how well I know my Turks Elena. This isn't about the torture, that's a part of it but not for the reasons you tell yourself."

Tseng knelt in front of the chair the blond sat in to stare her in the eyes.

"There is nothing that they haven't done that you haven't done. Every one of us has killed in cold blood, killed hundreds with the sector 7 plate. We kidnap and torture and maim. You looked at them, knowing the basics of their past, and when you saw yourself in them you couldn't take it. It got worse, when you found out that they were made that way, taught and trained and threatened into becoming the monsters they are now. But you, no one did that to you did they? You were this way on your own. Its hard to face that Elena, every one of us has had to. But it will not interfere with your job."

The last was said with an air of finality and a slight "or else" on the end. Elena seemed deeply shaken and just nodded again. Tseng rose.

"Dismissed"

Reno and Rude wasted no time getting the heck out of there. Even if it was only to hurry back to guard duty with Rufus, anything was better than that. Before entering the Presidents office (which had been next door to the room they were just in) the two exchanged glances and shook their heads. That had been too damn intense.


Yazoo was firmly convinced that he absolutely hated mornings. They had never been a problem before, but now they were catching up with a vengeance. He could hear the sounds of the television from the living room where Loz was already awake. He tried putting a pillow over his head and drawing the covers around to block out all light, it didn't work. Groaning at the utter indecency of someone being up as early as half past noon and at the residual pain in his arm where the Zolom had bit him got out of bed and stalked into the kitchen searching for a stimulant of some kind.

Loz was flipping through channels but paused when he saw his younger brother enter looking like a zombie that had seen better days. Yazoo was opening random cabinets and drawers looking for gods know what, he cursed when he turned before looking and smacked his head into an open cabinet door. Loz decided to take pity in him and went into the kitchen and poured Yazoo a cup of coffee.

Yazoo stared at the cup like it was an alien life form for a moment before Loz pushed it into his hands. "You put it to your lips and drink. Remember? Its called coffee."

Yazoo looked up at him through his bangs with a fuck-off-and-die look before following his advice. He slowly started coming around and took a seat on the counter. After a few moments of silence Loz nudged him softly. "Better?"

His younger brother nodded then shook his head. Loz laughed, which earned him a fuck-of-and-die-twice look. "The mission finally catching up with you?"

Yazoo just scowled at him. Undeterred, Loz continued with his relatively happy morning. He had always responded well to healing materia and suffered no ill effect, Yazoo on the other hand did not. "Look, I'll run a hot bath for you, make some breakfast, borrow some movie from Rude and we'll just take it easy okay?"

This response was much better than his glares. Yazoo just leaned against him, resting his head on his shoulder and mumbling something that sounded like "Thanks".

Loz just smiled and helped his brother down from the counter. It had been a long time since they had gotten to just be with each other. Loz had missed this.


Cloud was confused. While this wasn't incredibly uncommon for him this time it had nothing, or maybe everything to do with the end of the world. That clone, the longhaired one, had almost gotten himself killed, for a Turk no less. Cloud had healed him out of guilt for killing Kadaj. It hadn't been until after the battle with Sephiroth that he had realized why Kadaj had done what he had. When he had had the boy trapped, clinging to the side of the building as his sword fell away he had seen something that he hadn't understood at the time.

Kadaj had realized that Jenova would have never chosen him. She had lied and led him on. When Kadaj had looked up and seen the condemnation in Clouds eyes, what choice had he been left with? None. It was why Cloud had caught and held him through the end. It really hadn't been the boys fault.

Had these other two really realized the truth behind Jenova's lies? Had they given up on the twisted Reunion? It seemed so. Even Elena who doubted them had been proved wrong. They had saved her life.

Cloud watched the petals floating on the surface of the water that had yet to sink into the ground or evaporate. He didn't think it ever would. She would forgive them, he knew that. But what had she said? "Isn't it time you do the forgiving?"

Deep down he blamed himself. Not only for Aeris's death, that was just the icing on the cake. There was so much that the others didn't know… about Sephiroth…Zack…everything. And there were only two people who could give him the forgiveness he needed, the permission he needed, to be able to forgive himself.


They were starting on what would be their third movie and 2nd bowl of popcorn when they heard the knock at their door. Yazoo, who was lying across the couch with his head pillowed on Loz's lap, gave the door an odd glance. Reno never knocked, he just walked in. Rude called before he walked in and Tseng had them come to him. Somehow it didn't seem likely that it would be Elena. With a noise of disapproval from Yazoo, Loz stood and went to the door, opening it slowly.

He blinked at the person on the other side before he regained his wits.

"What are you doing here?" It wasn't quite hostile but it was far from friendly. Cloud didn't look like he expected anything more.

"Tseng let me in. I just have something to say."

"Let him in Loz" Yazoo had come to the door, the blanket he had been curled under on the couch draped around him, he looked childish and tired but Loz knew better than to argue with him. He opened the door fully and stepped aside. Cloud entered, giving a nod to Yazoo.

Loz shut the door and there was an awkward silence for a moment with everyone staring at each other, Yazoo gave an explosive sigh. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm not up for staring contests or heated arguments. You said you have something to say? Come and sit and talk, no fighting or I'm kicking you both out."

With that Yazoo calmly walked into the living room, blanket swirling behind him, reminiscent of Vincent's cape, and curled back up on the couch. Cloud gave Loz a questioning look at the actions of the normally quieter brother.

"He's still recovering from yesterday. Yazoo doesn't react very well to healing materia' Loz explained. Cloud nodded again.

"I'm right here you know" informed Yazoo irritably. Loz and Cloud gave each other mutual looks of sympathy and joined Yazoo, Cloud taking the only separate lounge chair.

Two pairs of green eyes settled on him and the full burden of what he wanted to say settled on him. "I-"

He stopped, unsure of what his words word be. Yazoo interceded gently, his mood going from irritable to compassionate in a blink. It reminded Cloud so strongly of Kadaj that he almost missed what Yazoo said.

"You have obviously come here about something to either do with Kadaj or Sephiroth. You do not need to be delicate with us. Speak freely."

Cloud nodded again, a look of determination flowing over his features before going blank. "I didn't want to kill Kadaj. I just…. Sephiroth and Zack were more than friends, I in turn inherited some of that… feeling… from Zack. I didn't want to see him brought back just to be used by Jenova again, like you were being used. You see, I…we… knew Sephiroth before he found out about Jenova, before he went insane. He was… beautiful… in the purest sense because of who he was, not what he was meant to be. I just didn't want to see him… reduced… to that again."

The blonde paused. "I wanted it to be different for Kadaj, like I hope its different for you two now. I'm sorry."

Cloud looked up to see unshed tears glistening in Loz's eyes. Yazoo laid a comforting hand on his arm, but his eyes were fixed on Cloud.

"You shouldn't blame yourself for Kadaj's death Cloud. He made his own choices and in the back of his mind, I think he knew what the only outcome would be. There were times when I wondered whether he would have ever just given up himself and saved you the trouble. But I can also tell you this. The Sephiroth you loved is dead, even when he came back, the only thing left in his mind is empty motivations without a living soul behind him. It is simply his unthinking will that survives." Yazoo did his best to take the cold, unfeeling tone out of his voice and hoped that he had succeeded. There was no point in being cruel to Cloud now.

"I never really blamed you" said Loz softly "I think you were just an easy target. Jenova's not here to be angry at."

Cloud said nothing but both brothers could see a sense of peace settling behind his eyes. He stood and without a word, walked out the door.


Elena was trying really hard not to cry.

Its not like anyone would see her here in her apartment, but she would know. A lot of things Tseng had said had made her feel… something… she wasn't sure, and she certainly wasn't ready to admit he was right. But she knew she had been wrong. To the point where she could have killed not only Loz and Yazoo but Reno and Rude as well.

She had done that over what? Some disfigured and displaced sense of self hatred? For some reason she kept seeing the look in Yazoo's eyes as the blade of Velvet Nightmare dug into her flesh when they had first met. They had been dead, lifeless. She knew what it was to feel like that.

Tseng had been right.


To- MyraHellsing

I told you it would be up by the weekend! Aha! It is less than an hour away from Monday but I still made it! That still count?

To-delavega

Congrats on your graduation!

To-Andi

You have my full permission to strangle Elena as long as you have a phoenix down. Thanks for the ego boost BTW.

AN- Sorry this chapter was an emotional roller coaster. The next one will be much lighter I promise. Thank you for all the kick ass reviews, I try and reply to everyone so if I missed you I am terribly sorry. As always, ideas are more than welcome.