Title: Infirmary.
Author: Van Donovan
Characters: Second Doctor, Jamie McCrimmon, Zoe Heriot.
Pairing: Second Doctor/Jamie
Rating: PG-13 (for sexual context)
Word Count: 740
Notes: Written for the LJ community dwliterotica's August challenge of "vice."
Summary: Jamie's playing games and making up the rules.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, do you think I would have burned Two's serials?
Notes: Set between "The Invasion" and "The Krotons" though it's hardly important to know that.
Thanks to: Starkiller for betaing.
--

"Jamie, what on Earth are you still doing in here?"

"Hey, we're not on Earth," he pointed out, looking over at Zoe as she entered the TARDIS infirmary. He was reclining on the patient chair, his injured leg propped up with two pillows.

"Your leg is perfectly fixed up, I know it is!" Zoe protested, approaching to look at the injury in concern. "I repatched it up just a few hours ago. Not even you could have hurt yourself again in that amount of time, could you?"

Jamie quickly swatted Zoe's hand away from his leg, as she seemed intent on undoing the bandage that covered the bullet wound he'd received from their last adventure. "Never y' mind, Zoe. I'm waitin' for the Doctor. Alone."

"He's not a doctor of medicine, Jamie," Zoe pointed out, obliviously.

"Ach, I know that woman! Go on and get out of here. You wouldn't understand what I'm doing," he scolded. "And don't come back."

Zoe eyed him critically. "Honestly, Jamie! If your leg is all patched up, there's no reason for you to be in this room."

"Here I am!" the Doctor said as he stepped into the infirmary doorway, hands on his hips. "Why, hello Zoe, Jamie." He smiled cheerfully at the two, nodding to each in turn.

"Go on, Zoe! Get out of here," Jamie hissed.

"Doctor," she said instead, turning to face him, "Jamie says there's something wrong with his leg, but I know there can't be. I saw to it that he was properly fixed up."

Concern flashed through the Doctor's eyes. "Oh my word, Jamie, is that true?" he asked, hurrying over. His hand fell to Jamie's knee, right above the bandaging. "I thought you were on the mend!"

Exasperated, Jamie fixed his glare on Zoe. "Aye, Doctor. I'm feelin' a wee bit better, but for this pain in my leg." He directed his attention to the Time Lord, trying to ignore Zoe in the hopes that she'd go away if he did.

"Well, is there anything I can do for it? Some tea, perhaps?"

Jamie wasn't sure how tea was supposed to help his leg, but he supposed it didn't matter, anyway. "Oh, I don't know," he feigned, sitting up just a bit. "Just feels a wee bit sore, y' know? I've been rubbin' it, but me hands're gettin' tired."

"Oh! Well, Zoe's quite good at giving massages, did you know?" the Doctor said with a toothy grin.

"No!" Jamie shouted. "No, I mean. I'd . . . I'd rather y' did it, Doctor. If y' don't mind, that is. Zoe's . . . Zoe's workin' hard on something."

"I am?" Zoe questioned, blinking in confusion as she looked between the two men. Her gaze settled on Jamie and he glared. She glanced to the Doctor, then at the hand on Jamie's knee and suddenly brightened in understanding. "Oh! Oh! Right! Yes, well, of course I am. Silly me! I would so love to rub your leg, Jamie, but I'm afraid I can't right now. You don't mind terribly, do you, Doctor?"

"What? Me? Well, no, of course not." The Doctor fumbled with his hands, uncertain what to do with them.

"Goodbye, Zoe!" Jamie announced.

"What?" She straightened. "Oh, yes, of course. Goodbye Jamie, Doctor!"

"Close the door on the way out, will y'?" Jamie called as she departed.

When the door to the infirmary closed, the Doctor frowned down at him. "You weren't being very polite, Jamie," he scolded.

Jamie rolled his eyes, scooting forward to grab the Doctor's hand to place it back on his thigh. "You weren't exactly helpin' matters none either, y' know."

The Doctor put his other hand on Jamie's chest, pushing him back onto the bed. "You really should maintain politeness with your friends at all times, Jamie," he chided. The hand on Jamie's thigh nudged up under the kilt. "I'm starting to think we should be playing 'teacher and pupil' instead of 'doctor and patient'."

Jamie's eyes rolled back as the Doctor got to work. "Aye, maybe next time," he groaned, parting his knees. "'Sides, least this way I don't get the names mixed up, and Zoe doesn't get too suspicious."

"Yes, well, there is that," the Doctor agreed. He removed his hand, tapping Jamie on the rump slightly. "Now roll over, my boy," he said as his hand went to undo his trouser fastenings. "It's time for your injection."