General Badaxe- ok, I've been lazy recently, so sue me. I decided to update, and this is really sad in my opinion, but even though I waited a while to update, I think I am updating before anyone else writing a Disgaea fan fiction. Some of them have potential, if anyone was willing to work on it, but I guess they like to leave people hanging or something. Oh well, not my problem. And to address a common question, Naruto DOES know the ransegan. He just hasn't used it, no one really challenging enough for him to pull it out. Why waste your trump card after all?

"All right!" screamed an annoying floating light as they teleported to the mansion. "We did it! We made it to the semi-finals!"

Laharl just glared at the thing, and then said in a tight voice "Semi-finals?"

"YES!" The thing cried out flying all around the room. "That was the match to decide if you would make it to the semi-finals. We won, so we progress! Did you think this was a big tournament?"

"Well," Laharl said, and then he intakes a lot of breathe "I did expect this to be a lot longer. Being a 'Tournament of Champions' you expect this to have a lot more people. Why are we already in the semi-finals?"

"Well Laharl," The floating glowing light said "We don't like big tournaments. We don't have enough people after last year's hot dog bun incident. So, we had to reduce the size of the exam."

"Do I want to know about this incident?" Laharl asked the thing.

"Don't ask for the details, it is not a good thing to talk about. At first, it was just trouble with a broom and a hot dog bun. Things quickly escalated from there, and then all Hell broke loose. It wasn't pretty." The thing said, however, it still had a cheerful voice. So, Laharl wondered just how bad the incident was.

"Whatever, it just means I get to go home even sooner than I thought." Zelos said from out of nowhere.

"What? Zelos! When did you get here?" Laharl asked him.

"I walked in a couple minutes ago. Long enough for the details anyway, but that isn't important right now. What is important is this: The rest of the group found a DDR machine in the basement." Zelos told him.

Laharl face vaulted, and then got up rubbing his face. "Let me get this straight, the group found a DDR machine in the basement?"

Zelos nods his head, and then said "We are all bored, so you want to join us?"

"ZELOS! I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN PLAY DDR RIGHT NOW!" Laharl screamed at Zelos.

Zelos looked at him, and then said "Well, do you want to play or not?"

Laharl thought for a second. 'Play DDR, or continue talking to a floating glowing light that is really annoying. DDR or annoying light.' "You know, on second thought, I will join you." Laharl told Zelos.

"Very well, follow me!" Zelos cried out, and then he started to dash down the hall.

"Zelos, slow down!" Laharl called out as he started to run after Zelos.

"I'll race you!" Zelos called back, and continued to run faster.

"YOU IDIOT!" Laharl screamed after him. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE BASEMENT IS! OF COURSE YOU WILL WIN!"

Laharl ran after Zelos, and into the basement, where a couple other members were playing the machine, and Inuyasha held his ears closed to keep out the noise. Naruto probably would have held his ears too, except he was playing the song 'Sakura.'

"I win!" Zelos cried out, as he bent over holding his legs to breathe heavily.

"Hey retard," Laharl said, and Zelos looked at him "I had no idea where the basement was, or I would have won easily. Hyper drive boots after all."

The song finished, and Naruto walked off, huffing a little. Yes people, he does have a huge amount of stamina I know, but if you have ever played the song 'Sakura' on heavy, you would know how many notes and how fast it is. Tiring really.

"Well, who is next?" Naruto said with a grin on his face. Then Naruto looked over to Inuyasha, and said "Inuyasha, the thing isn't possessed by a demon. You can give it a shot you know."

"Naruto," Inuyasha said in a slightly controlled voice "Did I destroy the machine? No I didn't. That alone should tell you I know it isn't a demon in disguise. However, I still don't like the noise."

"Suit yourself." Naruto said as he got some water from a mini fridge in the room.

Laharl looked around the room, and noticed it was a small arcade. They had a couple pinball machines, an air hockey table, a DDR machine, a foosball table, a weird basket ball/soccer machine, and a pool table. It also had a snack bar with free food, a mini fridge stocked with drinks, and it had a phone in it.

'Well, this place had to be found a little late didn't it?' Laharl thought to himself. Then he called out, and said "Hey guys! I'll join you in a bit. I have to call someone."

Laharl walked over to the phone, and punched in the digits 1-800-DISGAEA and then waited for the phone to ring. It started ringing, and then he got an answering machine. "Hello, you have reached the netherworld castle. Please leave your name and number, so that I may come kill you later for bothering me. That is all, leave your damn message." And then the familiar beep of the answering machine starting.

'Maybe I shouldn't be so mean to the people calling.' Laharl thought to himself, as he replayed the message he said to the answering machine in his head. Then Laharl took in some breath, and yelled out "FLONNE! ETNA! ONE OF YOU TWO GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE ALREADY!"

He waited five seconds, and then heard the phone click as someone picked it up. "Hello prince!" Said Etna in a cheery voice on the other side of the receiver.

"Laharl?" Flonne asked as she picked up another phone.

"No Flonne, it is the Easter Bunny. I'm making my rounds a little early. Of course it is me!" Laharl yelled at her.

"Geez Laharl, you would think that being around other people would make you a little kinder! You should learn to be nicer to people!" Flonne scolded him in an indignant voice.

"Flonne…" Said Laharl as he trailed off with her name.

"Yes Laharl?" Flonne asked him in her usual cheer voice.

"Who is the ruler of the netherworld?" He asks her in a calm voice.

"Um, you are." Flonne said.

"Who is the one who beat Ball, the Lord of Terror?" Laharl said in the same calm voice.

"You are, again." Flonne said again in her cheery voice.

"Who is the one who beat the tar out of the seraph?" He asked again.

"You did Laharl." Flonne said again.

"Finally, who is the one who obliterated all his vassals to see if they could beat him if they ganged up on him?" Laharl asked in the same stoic voice.

"You are Laharl. But, I still say riding a meteor into Etna was a little cruel." Flonne said.

"Tell me then Flonne…" Laharl said, and then his voice exploded in anger "WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! As for the meteor, she deserved it. Ever get hit by her chaos impact? It isn't exactly the best feeling in the world. Anyway, you should be a little grateful I decided to let you stay out of that fight. I had to replace you with Maderas, and then I had to stop him and Etna from killing each other halfway between the fight."

"Prince, do you have to remind me?" Etna said in a sour voice. "Anyway, prince, why did you engage in this little threesome?" Etna asked him.

"Threesome?" Laharl said, growing a little red in the face.

"Prince…" Said Etna in a teasing voice "Are you having naughty thoughts?"

"N-No I'm not!" He cried out in an indignant voice.

"Threesome?" Flonne said, not getting it yet.

"You know Flonne, when either two guys and a woman, or possibly two women and a guy" Etna began to say.

"ETNA! Will you shut up already!" Laharl cried out, growing redder in the face.

"Ah prince, I knew it! You are having naughty thoughts aren't you?" Etna said in another teasing voice.

Laharl told Etna, in the darkest voice he knew "Etna. Shut up before I decide to kill you." Perhaps the scariest part was that it wasn't an angry voice, it was a stone cold calm one.

"Uh, sure thing Laharl." Etna said in scared tone.

"Anyway, I called for a reason." Laharl told them in his normal voice.

Flonne was the first to ask "What are you asking of us Laharl?"

Unfortunately for Laharl, Etna gained back her backbone after hearing his normal voice. "You see Flonne," Etna said over the phone, grinning while she said it. "Laharl might die in the next fight."

"WHAT! I won't die in the next fight, I'm too powerful." Laharl said through gritted teeth.

Etna continued as though he never said anything. "So, he called to ask you Flonne, if you would marry him to get it off his chest."

"WHAT?" Flonne shrieked over the phone.

All that could be heard from Laharl's side was a sort of strangled breathing, as though someone was trying as hard as they could not to kill someone. He probably was. "Etna…" Laharl said in a very dangerous voice. "Do you have any idea how badly I am going to hurt you when I get back to the castle?"

Etna started to giggle, and then she replied "I don't know, how badly?"

"Etna, I really hope you have improved, because when I get back, I am going to kick your ass all the way to Celestia and back." Laharl told her through gritted teeth.

"So, you didn't call to ask me to marry you?" Flonne said through the phone, sounding a tad disappointed. Laharl, however, didn't hear the tone.

"Of course not! Geez, Etna really needs to learn to stop teasing people, isn't that right Etna?" Laharl said sounding arrogant.

"Sure thing prince, when you turn into a prinny, I will. However, now, why did you call us, your match is tomorrow according to the paper." Etna said in a serious voice.

"Wait, our match is tomorrow?" Laharl asked over the phone.

"Yeah, didn't you guys know?" Flonne asked, still a little sad.

"Of course not! Our stupid adviser, or coach, or whatever the hell you want to call him or her, doesn't tell us a thing. So, we just arrive at the matches unexpectedly." Laharl told them, and then added on "Flonne, are you ok? You sound a little sad."

"Of course I am ok!" Flonne said in a fake cheery voice.

"If you say so." Laharl grumbled over the phone. "Anyway, you two, I need one of you to bring me 'it' from the armory. I might need it in the semi-finals, or the finals. Can I count on you two?"

"Sure thing Laharl, we can bring you 'it,' but don't you think that is going a little overboard? I mean, come on, that is just overkill." Said Flonne in a shocked voice.

"I know I haven't used it since I beat Baal, but I might need it, the tournament is a little tougher than I thought it would be. I need the extra firepower. So, I can count on you two, right?" Laharl asked them a second time.

"Sure thing prince!" Said Etna in a real cheery voice. "If I am lucky, a guard or two tries to stop me, and then I get to use my spear again. It has been far too long." She said, and then you could just feel the diabolical grin growing on her face.

"Uh, yeah, sure thing Etna." Said Laharl, wondering where he found such a crazy vassal. Then he remembered that technically, she found him. It made him feel a little better.

"Etna!" Flonne cried over the phone. "Do you have to enjoy slaying random guards?"

"Flonne, I am a demon, you are a fallen angel, but you are still an angel. How about you let me have my fun?" Etna said, in a half whining, half mocking voice.

"Etna!" Flonne cried again "You should know how I-"

"ALL RIGHT! THAT IS ENOUGH!" Laharl yelled over the phone. "If you two are going to have this conversation, then I am leaving. See you two tomorrow apparently. Bye." Then Laharl hung up the phone.

'I have the most interesting vassals.' Laharl thought to himself. Then he walked over to the group. "Guys, move." Laharl said, and the gang cleared away from the DDR machine. Suddenly, Laharl shot a ball of dark energy into the machine, and made it implode, and then a giant shockwave forced it to explode. "There, now I feel better." Laharl said, and then he started t walk away from the machine.

"Oh yeah, guys, thought I would warn you. We have the semi-final match tomorrow. Our stupid faerie didn't tell us about it, again. Well, I am going to bed goodnight." Laharl said, and then he stalked off down the endless corridors, until he got to his room, where he plopped onto the bed, and fell asleep.

Laharl woke up to a bird singing outside his window. Being the kind of guy he is, Laharl uprooted the tree the bird was in, and chucked the tree into the ravine. Then he walked inside, and started to make breakfast. Mainly, he made breakfast for himself, and if anyone else wanted some, they could try to pull it from his corpse. That wasn't going to happen however.

After Laharl finished his eggs, and toast, he wondered something to himself. 'Why don't I give my cook lessons? I am actually better than her, so maybe I should. My meals would taste a little better at least.'

After thinking that, Laharl took his dishes, and then placed them in the sink. Afterwards, he went to the run down cottage near the castle. Laharl had his hand on the door, but then he heard a couple voices speaking. He seriously doubted that the weird light could make multiples of itself.

"So, how is the tournament coming along my lord?" The annoying voice of the light he was used to said.

"It is all going according to plan. So, do you like him at all?" A deeper, and stronger sounding voice replied.

"He is ok. If only he wasn't so…demanding for lack of better words. Arte you sure you want to use him as a container for your soul my lord?" The annoying voice said.

"I am positive. He is strong, very smart, and extremely powerful. Not to be underestimated under any circumstances. Trust me, he may not be the most social guy, but I don't need social, I need power." The stronger sounding voice said to the annoying one.

"But sir, how will you control him? He won't go willingly. You can also be sure he won't give up his body, not many understand the importance of you living. Anyone else loyal to you would give you their body, why don't you take one of theirs?" The annoying light asked.

"No. I only accept the best, and it will be his body. I don't care what you say, but it will be mine. No matter what I have to do." The stronger voice said in certainty. And then it added "Don't you and your team have a match tonight? You might want to get them together so that you can make it. Well, good luck."

'Well, that was an interesting conversation. I better get to the castle again.' Laharl said, and then he used his warp drive shoes to get to the castle in an instant.

Laharl arrived in the hallways, and then he followed random paths. Then, a sudden wave of white engulfs him, and then he was in the arena. 'Why does that stupid light have to do that every time? Doesn't it know a way to open a portal, or anything else?' Laharl thought to himself.

Laharl looked around, and he saw the stands were packed, but he didn't see Flonne or Etna anywhere. 'Where are those two?' Laharl thought to himself.

Suddenly, a guard came flying down the arena, and landed in an awkward fashion in front of Laharl. He groaned a little bit, and then his eyes rolled back, and he fell unconscious. 'Ask a stupid question…' Laharl thought to himself.

"HEY PRINCE!" Etna called down to the arena, with a wide grin on her face.

Laharl looked up, and called to her "Did you bring 'it' here?"

"Of course we did Laharl!" Flonne cried out, and then she tossed a hilt to Laharl, who caught it, and put it into his cape.

"Thanks you two. Now, back to the semi-final match." Laharl said, turning around and grinning.

He walked to the center of the arena, and he saw a weird little man, who had a green face, and looked about ready to die. He didn't see anyone else, and then he asked "Are you part of the team of our opponents?"

The sick looking man looked at Laharl, nodded his head yes, and then started to hack and cough. "Are you ok?" Laharl asked him.

"Sorry kid, we have to forfeit this match." The sick looking man said in a pale voice, and then he coughed some more.

"Why do you have to quit?" Laharl asked through gritted teeth. He didn't like it when his fun got ruined.

"My entire team and I drank some bad milk, and now we are having a hard time standing, let alone fighting. We forfeit." The sick man said, and then he vomited onto the arena.

"Let me get this straight," Laharl said in as calm of a voice as he could muster. "You, some of the strongest fighters in all the worlds, are being forced to quit because you people drank some bad milk?" Laharl asked.

The guy nodded his head, and then said "Yes, a bit anti-climactic, don't you agree?"

"YOU PEOPLE ARE A BUNCH OF RETARDS IS WHAT YOU ARE!" Laharl cried out, his eyes going completely red. "WHAT MORON DOESN'T CHECK THE EXPIRATION DATE ON HIS MILK! YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET A BRAIN!"

"Kid, calm down. You people won, let it go." The sick guy said, right before he coughed again.

"Well…" Said Laharl closing his eyes, and drawing in breathe and letting it out slowly. "It looks like I don't have a choice do I? I will accept your defeat, even though I think I won because of the stupidest reasons."

Then, a white light engulfed Laharl, and he was sent back to the castle he was living in. 'Damn light needs to learn to stop doing that.' Laharl thought to himself. After thinking that, Laharl sat down onto a chair next to him, and thought to himself 'Of all the things, why was it spoiled milk? It seems a little hard for me to believe they didn't check the date. Something is going on here, I just need to figure out one thing, what is it?'

General Badaxe- Sorry I didn't upload it sooner, but I had a power outage a little earlier, so I had a hard time writing this without a computer. Basically, I had to wait a little while before finishing it. So, same thing as usual, comments, suggestion, whatever you want to say.