Chapter Two

When he woke up, he as still sitting on the couch with a bag of cheese balls. Drew & Jerry was still playing, but he ignored it.

"I'm gonna get a drink." He said, going to get up.

"Oww!" He suddenly yelped. A pain shot through his back.

"What's wrong, Hack?" A boy who looked just like him came out.

"Who… who are you?"

"Dad… are you okay?" The boy asked, looking confused.

"Dad! What's going on here! Megan!" He yelled.

"Whoa, what happened to you, Hack?"

"Hack?"

"Yeah. Did you forget you're 50 today? So I'm gonna call you Hack, which stands for half a century!" The teenager laughed.

"Huh? Megan!" Drake shouted again.

Suddenly a woman came out of the kitchen.

"Hello, gorgeous." Drake smiled.

"Oh shut up, Drake. I'm only here to get my pay check." The woman said, stepping closer. "Now hand it over so I can be going."

"Huh? What paycheck?"
"Oh don't play stupid. The one you give me every week."

"What? How much do I have to give you?"

"Three hundred dollars." The woman replied.

Drake yelped. "Okay, really funny. Now get out of here. Josh! There's a psycho lady in here demanding three hundred dollars! Megan!"

"Just give me the money, Drake. If you don't hand it over right now, I'm taking you back to court."

"Okay, okay, fine! Who are you, anyway?"

"Drake, have you completely lost your mind? I'm your 3rd ex-wife!"

"What? I couldn't have been married once, let alone three times! I'm only seventeen!"

"Okay, number one you're not seventeen, your fifty, and you've been married 8 times, not just three."

Drake's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head. "Megan you know this isn't funny!" He yelled.

"What isn't funny?" Megan walked downstairs. Drake knew he should have been glad to see her, but he wasn't. He was in total shock as she stopped beside him.

She was at least one inch taller than him, and she didn't have that evil look in her eyes anymore. She had to be at least forty.

"What… what happened?"

"What do you mean? I knew I should never have come to visit you. You're crazy. I was happy enough over in Europe."

"Huh? Megan, you live here with me and Josh, and Mom and Dad!" He said quickly.

"Are you sick or something? I moved away twenty years ago! And Josh has his own home now."

"What? Where does he live?"

"With Mindy and Allison in Los Angeles."

"Whoa! Josh married Mindy?"

"Duh." Megan gave Drake a confused look.

"HUH? And who's Allison?"

"Their ten-year-old daughter…" Megan smiled awkwardly at Drake. Drake's eyes widened and he looked at her in shock.

"I didn't even know Josh and Mindy were married… let alone have a daughter!" He gasped.

Megan stared at him. "They were married 25 years ago… I mean, what world were you living in?"

"The one where I'm seventeen!"

"Come on Drake, it's been 33 years since you were seventeen. You must have had a dream."

"No I didn't! Just ten minutes ago, I was sitting on my couch, eating cheese balls while watching Drew & Jerry and I fell asleep, and then all the sudden here I was… what happened?"

"Vanessa, call a doctor." Megan spoke to Drake's 3rd wife, who turned and walked back into the kitchen.

"Aunt Megan, why's Dad acting all weird? It's not because he's a hack, is it? I mean, he is fifty, you think he could be loosing his memory? He's been alive way longer than I expected him to live…"

"Hey!" Drake gasped, "What's your name anyway, kid?"

"First off, I'm seventeen, and I'm your son. My name is Jared. Oh, and see you later, Hack! I've got to go to the concert. Can't let my band down. Bye!" With that Jared walked out.

"Band?" Drake asked Megan.

"Yeah. Jared's had it for at least two years now. He's like a mini-you."

"A mini-me?" Drake questioned.

"Yep. He's just as sloppy as you, loves to play guitar, tries to impress every girl he meets, is popular, etcetera."

"Hey! I'm not sloppy!"

"Oh, really? Let's go observe your room." Megan said, leading Drake upstairs. As he walked into his room, he stopped in shock. His bedroom was painted orange, there were posters of him (when he was younger, of course) covering every wall, clothes were thrown everywhere, and his bed was messy and unmade.

"What happened to my room?" He shouted. "Where did all the green color and Josh's stuff go?"

"Like I told you, Josh is living with Mindy and Allison in LA, and remember you wanted your room painted orange like, ten years ago?"

"I know, I love orange, but Megan, it's not nice to paint someone's room while their sleeping, you know."

Megan looked shocked. "Drake, would I do that?" She asked.

"Yes! Remember when you shot Josh and I with those paintballs? And the time you glued our pillows to our heads? Or the time you handcuffed us together and threw us in your closet? Oh, yeah, and the time when…"

"Drake! That was, like, 34 years ago!"

"Yeah right." He said, turning towards the mirror. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What happened to my hair! You didn't put hair remover in my shampoo again, did you? And look at my face! Where did I get all the wrinkles?"

"Drake, you need to sit down. Are you feeling alright?" Megan asked.

"I don't know, what year is it?"

"Okay, Drake, lay down. You're definitely not alright. I'll go get the door. The doctor must be here now." She said, running downstairs.


"Well, Drake, you seem in pretty good condition – for your age."

"To look fifty when you're only seventeen is not good condition!" Drake replied.

"Drake, I've known you for many years, and one thing I know is you're not seventeen even though you still act like it." Bob (the doctor) responded. "I would suggest going to see the psychiatrist tomorrow. I'm going to call her in the morning so she'll know you're coming."

"Psychiatrist! I don't need a psychiatrist! Something happened to me! I just don't understand."

"Well that's what you need to discuss with her."

"Fine! Thanks."

'Here's my bill."

"Five hundred dollars! For a house call!"

"Hey! I gave you the discount since I live across the street!"

"Can I pay you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. It's not like I don't know where you live." Bob said, leaving.