Chapter 6: Egos
She and her mom spent a while in the basement discussing song writing, then went upstairs for lunch. Afterwards, her mother worked on grading and writing lesson plans while Rachel took Yero for a walk and played with him for a while. Mrs. Evans had brought him back over while they were eating. Yero's not used to not being around her, so when she opened the front door he started whining and jumping up to lick her face. It had taken a while to calm him down. Now, she's in her room studying for a test later in the week. She's distracted when she hears the distant sound of the front door opening and shutting. Yero lifts his head and looks to her bedroom door.
"Rach?!" Yero lays back down, obviously recognizing Kurt's voice.
"Upstairs!"
Footsteps pound up the stairs and three boys burst into her room.
"Okay, why weren't you in school?" Kurt instantly demands.
"What's going on?" Blaine at least sounds more polite.
"What'd you get in trouble for?" Finn, already grinning in anticipation.
"Guys! Stop. Chill."
The boys look at her incredulously. "Chill?"
"You've been spending too much time around Santana." Finn says with a smirk.
"On that note, why do Santana and Quinn know what's going on but we don't?" As usual, Kurt is miffed to not be the first to know.
"Because they FaceTimed me last night and saw."
"Saw what? Wait, why is your cheek scraped? And what's with that bandage? What happened?"
With a sigh, Rachel lifts her shirt so the boys can see her bruised side. After assuring them she's fine, she tells the story. Blaine hugs her gently.
"I'm glad you're both okay."
Finn hugs her next. "What you did was amazing."
Her attention moves to her brother. She doesn't like the look on his face. "I'm with your Mom on this one, Tink. It's great that you saved Oliver, but….you really have to put yourself first. Protect yourself."
She looks between them silently for a moment, then shares a thought she'd had while sitting around bored in the hospital. "What if…..what if everything happened in order to get me to that moment, so that I could save him?" At their startled looks, she goes into more detail. "I only met Oliver and all of them because I met my Mom. I only met my Mom because I collapsed at school and the hospital couldn't reach my father. I only collapsed because I was sick. I was only there this past weekend because I know all of them well enough to be invited to my cousin's family birthday party and I was healthy enough to go. And because I'm in remission, I was healthy enough to run into the street and push Ollie out of the way. Think about this: even if I wasn't there, he still would've been in the street. If I'd never gotten sick, I'd have never met them, I wouldn't have been there and he'd have gotten hit. Or if I had died last February, I wouldn't have been there and he'd have gotten hit. Even if I'd survived, but was still sick, I either wouldn't have been there, or I would have been there but I might have been inside resting. Even if I was well enough to be outside with them, I might not have been well enough to run after him and save him."
They're staring at her, absolutely dumbfounded. Blaine recovers the fastest. "So…..everything, getting sick, meeting your Mom, meeting your extended family, then going into remission…you think that led you to the moment where you could save Oliver from being hit by the car?"
Rachel shrugs lightly. "It crossed my mind. I was bored while sitting in the emergency room and Mom wasn't in the mood to talk, so I got to thinking. And that's what I came up with."
Finn tilts his head. "Maybe you're right. Maybe you're not. What matters is that you both survived. It was cool of you. I'd rather you stay safe, but I also get why you felt you had to save him. What you did was awesome. Just remember, I want at least 90's for you."
The other two look confused, but Rachel remembers her conversation with him from back in August and grins.
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Not long after the boys left, Holly showed up. She'd been concerned when Rachel was out unexpectedly, and heard enough from Santana and Quinn to be worried. She brought Rachel's missed work, but mostly came to check on her and stayed to chat with her mom. Rachel is glad. Holly and her mom became friends last year, so it's nice that they're getting to catch up. She hears them promise to get together again soon and she smiles.
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Adding to their guest list for the day, Uncle Andy and Aunt Kelly joined them for dinner that night. Her uncle was very upset that he unintentionally made her uncomfortable. He apologized profusely, swearing he'd never lay a hand on her or even yell at her like that. He explained how scared he'd been, then how angry. Rachel understood, but…it had still upset her. He apologized again and hugged her. He asked her to let him know if he ever makes her uncomfortable again, no matter how big or small. Just being able to talk to him about it, hear his explanation, hear his apology (something her father rarely did), and hugging him really helped her get over it. What helped the most was watching him relax and go back to his usual playful, easy going self.
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The rest of her friends had mixed reactions upon hearing the story. Most were supportive, saying she'd done the right thing. Those friends praised her. A few were of the same mind as Kurt and her mother, saying she should have kept herself safe. But all of them were proud of her and relieved that both she and Oliver are okay. The New Directions are hard at work not just writing the songs for Sectionals, but working out choreography and solos.
"How will we determine who gets a solo?" Mercedes questions.
It's a good question, and yet there was a slight edge to her tone that reminded Rachel of her attitude about the Maria auditions, which are tomorrow.
"I'm not sure, Mercedes," Mr. Schue explains, "we might hold auditions or perhaps Sue and I will choose who we think is best."
"Are Rachel and Blaine definitely getting solos just because it was their idea to write original songs?" She pushes.
The other kids shift in their seats.
"Um, no. That wasn't the expectation."
Rachel bites her lip. It was sort of her expectation. A glance at Blaine tells her he had been of the same mind. But he's sweeter and easier going than she is. He won't push for it. She wonders if she should challenge Mercedes or let it go. Seeing a few of her friends happy about the announcement that it's not guaranteed to be a "Rachel and Blaine show", she decides to hold her tongue. Besides, Maria auditions are tomorrow and she needs to focus on that. Tony auditions are after school today. She's looking forward to watching them before heading to their Thriller rehearsal. That performance is on Friday. It'll be fun and she's looking forward to it, but it's also coming at the same time as auditions, adding to some of her stress.
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After school, Rachel and Tina meet up in the auditorium to watch the guys who are auditioning for the part of Tony. A few guys from school who aren't in Glee audition. Most suck. The girls hide their giggles behind their hands, slouching down in their seats to avoid detection. One boy, Joseph, actually has a good voice. Tina looks at Rachel in surprise.
"Do you know who he is?"
"Not really. He's in my science class, but that's it. I think he was new this year."
"Should we try to recruit him?"
Rachel shrugs. Kurt is up next. She had laughed until she'd cried when her brother had asked for her written permission to sing a Barbra Streisand song. He does a fantastic job with "I'm the Greatest Star" but the girls agree that he's not exactly "manly", which the role of Tony requires. Rachel wonders how to bring it up with him. Then Blaine auditions and blows them away. Rachel feels guilty, but can't imagine anyone other than Blaine playing Tony now. He absolutely nailed the audition. Well, she thinks Finn would be awesome and she would much rather her boyfriend play Tony to her Maria. But Finn isn't interested in auditioning, so Blaine is the next best choice in her mind.
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Kurt sits with his head in his hands, moaning. "But I know I was good! But I also know Blaine was better. I want the part so badly, but I also know that if they cast anyone other than Blaine, then they're out of their freaking minds."
Rachel rubs his back and smiles sympathetically. "I get it, Kurt."
He flops over so that his head is in her lap. "I know you do. That's why I'm complaining to you and not anyone else."
Rachel runs her fingers through his hair soothingly. He normally hates having his hair messed up. But when they're home and not going anywhere else for the night, or when he's upset, like now, he enjoys it.
"What part do you think you'll get instead? I mean, you may not be Tony, but you'll obviously get a part. You're far too talented to not get anything."
Her brother looks up at her with shining eyes. "You're an awesome sister, you know that?" She smiles. "I guess I'd be fine with Officer Krupke."
He says it with such reluctance that she knows he's still sore about probably not getting the leading male role. She feels bad for him, but is glad he accepts it. If she loses Maria to Mercedes, she hopes she's as accepting.
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Rachel holds the final note of "Somewhere" with a strong belt. She finishes and smiles proudly to the applause she has earned, knowing she rocked it. She laughs happily. As soon as she's offstage, Finn wraps her in a hug.
"You nailed it!"
She leans back and teasingly asks him "Did you ever doubt me?"
He grins down at her. "Never."
They pass Mercedes heading to the stage. Rachel hesitates, then stops.
"Hey," she calls. Mercedes gives her a wary look. "Break a leg."
Mercedes softens and nods. "Thanks."
She watches Mercedes' audition, of course. It was incredible. The girl is truly talented. She nervously takes in the applause around her. She has to give it to her; she rocked it. So, Rachel stands with a smile and applauds her competition. Inside, her stomach is squirming. She knows she's no longer a shoe-in for Maria. Afterwards, Rachel joins Finn at Uncle Burt's shop. She sits next to him, her feet swinging, while he works on a car.
"Lug nut?" Rachel hands it to him. "Wrench?" She passes the next tool. She likes watching him work. Especially since he acts so confident and at ease here.
"You're really good at that."
He gives her a proud grin. "Thanks for helping me out."
"Yeah, well, I need the distraction and Mom's staying late for a meeting. I'm going to be on edge until they post the audition results for the musical. Which means I'm going to be even more self-centered than usual, just so you know."
Her boyfriend looks truly confused. "Why? You know you're going to get the lead."
Warmth blooms in her chest at his absolute certainty that she'll get the role. "I know I am, but I mean you don't really know until you know. You can still try out. The final call for auditions is tomorrow."
"Between football and school, I don't really have time. And I've gotta go to this booty camp thing. My dancing has gotta get better or it's gonna cost us Nationals. Plus, Burt pays me good here. I'm saving up for college and stuff."
"It's good work, I know. You're obviously good at it and if you enjoy doing it, even better. I just don't want you to give up on what makes you most special. I mean, you're really talented." She looks down, uncertain how her next statement will be taken. "Talented enough to get into NYADA if you applied."
"What if I don't want to? I'm not saying that I don't, but…to stay here….work for Burt…" Finn shrugs, "…would that be so bad?"
"No, not if it'd make you happy. Uncle Burt is happy with this life. But, you know, there are garages in New York, too. If that's what you'd really want to do."
"I don't really know." He admits quietly, loosening the next bolt.
"That's okay. You have time to figure it out, Finn. And, it sounds like you have a backup plan for if you don't decide before we graduate." She's trying to be supportive, but she hates the idea of him staying here while she goes to New York. What would that mean for them? Would one of them have to give up their dreams or comfort to make the other happy? Would their relationship survive it?
Finn stares at the wrench in his hand. "I don't know what I want to do with my life." He lifts his gaze to hers. "But I know I wanna spend it with you."
Tears spring to her eyes and she smiles at him. "You're the best boyfriend ever." He grins, leaning forward to kiss her. She puts a hand on his chest, bringing him to a halt. "You have grease on your nose."
"Oh." He starts looking around, presumably for a rag to wipe it up with.
Rachel thinks about the times he kissed her after she'd thrown up or had bloody gums and gives a slight shrug. "What the heck." And tugs him closer. He smiles back and kisses her.
"Quit making out in the shop." Uncle Burt grumbles while walking past them. They break apart with a laugh. Rachel turns to watch him walk over to where Kurt is sitting. "What do you want?"
Kurt answers his father huffily. "Nothing. Is Finn the only son that can help out around here?"
"Uh, no, but you only volunteer to help out when you want money or you wanna talk about something. So what's going on?"
Rachel smiles at how well Uncle Burt knows his son. She turns back to Finn, ignoring the father son conversation going on behind her, where Kurt is sadly lamenting the only roles he's a shoe-in to play the lead. Later that night, her mother and Uncle Burt take both her and Kurt out for dinner, then ice cream. They try to get the two teens to relax and not stress over their auditions.
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"Let me get this straight — you can't make up your minds, so you want us to try out again?"
Rachel is slightly appalled that Mercedes doesn't know how common this is. "In the biz it's called a 'callback'. For such an iconic role as Maria, they can't appear like they're making the decision lightly."
Mercedes glares at her. Rachel frowns. She was careful with her wording! She tried hard not to imply that she was their most likely pick.
"We'd like you both to come back tomorrow for the ultimate 'Maria-off'." Artie says eagerly.
"Done." Rachel is just as enthusiastic. She sees this as great practice for when she gets to NY and starts auditioning for Broadway shows. "I can't speak for Mercedes, but I will be singing the timeless Maria classic 'I Feel Pretty'."
"Actually, that's too easy, Rachel." Ms. Pillsbury says, knocking the wind from her sails. "We picked a song that we think has the potential to show off both of your talents…..in unexpected ways."
"'Out Here On My Own' from 'Fame'." Artie hands them both the sheet music.
"I know it." Rachel assures him.
"I've lived it." Mercedes snarks.
The girls leave the office. Rachel hurries up to her friend. "Mercedes! Look, in the spirit of Broadway camaraderie, I'd like to offer you a hug to congratulate you on your callback."
The way Rachel figures it, this way she is being a supportive friend like her mom suggested and is seen as encouraging Mercedes. She also hopes it helps lessen the blow when she gets the part. She is startled when Mercedes holds a finger out in front of her, stopping her.
"You know what, Rachel? Hug me after I get the part."
She walks off, leaving Rachel feeling both upset and nervous.
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"—on my own." Rachel finishes the song.
Her mother stops playing the piano and smiles at her. "That was beautiful, honey. You've got this."
Rachel bites her lip. "Can we run it one more time?"
Her mother frowns and glances at the clock. "Honey, we've been working on this for hours. You nailed it! You're ready."
"I just think—"
"Rachel. Why are you so nervous?"
"Mercedes is very talented."
"Yes, she is. But she's not Maria. You are. You're ready."
"You're my Mom. You're biased."
Her mom laughs. "True, but I'm also a very talented vocal coach. Trust me. You're ready."
Rachel lets her mom wrap an arm around her and guide her up the stairs for dinner.
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She nailed it. She knows she did. But she also knows Mercedes did a fabulous job as well. She'd heard the murmurings from the rather large audience beforehand. They'd been discussing how this was better than "Clash of the Titans" and how they'd be talking about this diva-off for years. It had amused and excited her. Now she feels vaguely ill, not as certain of the verdict as she was previously. She'd also seen her mother slip into a seat between Sue and Holly. She hopes her mom isn't disappointed in her if she doesn't get the part. She loves Finn's belief in her. She'd walked off stage and he'd immediately told her how amazing she'd been. It made her feel good, but it didn't wash away her nerves.
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In Glee the next day, tensions run high. Rachel and Mercedes sit on opposite sides of the room. Their friends are fairly split and mostly sit between them. Since most of them auditioned to be in the musical, the topic comes up. The two divas remain silent.
"All of you did a fantastic job at your auditions," Mr. Shue assures them, "the directors are having a hard time choosing their cast. And remember, this is all happening pretty fast. Because we don't want to be distracted from preparing for Regionals, we'll have the musical wrapped up shortly after winter break. Cast list goes up tomorrow, rehearsals start next week, and the week of performances will be in January. No matter who gets what role, you're all amazing. Please know that."
Rachel smiles slightly. He's kind, but he doesn't seem to realize how much most of them want their desired roles.
"Mercedes and Rachel," He turns to the two of them, "you both did a phenomenal job. We support you both and we ho—"
"You support both of us?" Everyone turns to stare at Mercedes.
"Yes, of course!"
"And not just Rachel, your favorite?"
Rachel stares at her wide-eyed.
"Well, to be fair, she's everyone's favorite." Kurt comments with a smile, trying to lighten the moment.
"Shut up, Kurt. Just because you consider her your sister doesn't mean you have to always take her side!"
"Mercedes! That is enough! I don't have a favorite, so you—"
The girl stands, waving a hand. "Oh, please. You absolutely do. And you know what, Kurt? You were right. Rachel is everyone's favorite. And I'm tired of watching 'The Rachel Berry Show' around here. It's time for the rest of us get our time to shine as well."
"You get your time!" Santana argues hotly. "You've gotten plenty of solos!"
"Not for competitions! The only competition I got a solo at was the one she wasn't there for!"
"You mean when she was in the hospital fighting for her life?" Noah challenges, looking pissed.
"Right! Let's not stop bringing up how sick she was! Let's not forget that she was the center of attention for almost two years!" Mercedes whirls to face Rachel. "You're not sick anymore, little girl. You can't expect 'sick kid perks' or pity to get you this role."
Kurt is glaring at his friend, as is Finn. Most of the others are staring in shock.
"I—I wasn't counting on that. I was counting on my talent to land me the role."
"Look me in the eye and tell me you were better than me!"
Rachel is trying to remember what her mother said about Mercedes taking a backseat to her for years and possibly having low confidence as a result, but she's also getting mad. How dare she throw her being sick back in her face?
"You did a fantastic job! We don't know the results yet, Mercedes! It could go either way. Am I a better fit for the role? I think so, yes. Does that mean the directors will agree with me and choose me? No, it doesn't."
"It's not all about you! Not anymore! You don't deserve to get yet another solo."
"And you do? Mercedes, you're very talented, but you're lazy!"
"You bit—"
"ENOUGH!" Mr. Schue is red faced. "I am very disappointed! This is just a high school musical, meant for fun! And you guys are friends!"
This is just a high school musical. Something suddenly occurs to Rachel and she makes a snap decision. She stands and all eyes jump to her. She approaches Mercedes. "You know what? You want it that badly? The role is yours. I learned the hard way that there are more important things in life. It's just not worth fighting over a high school musical. So take it. Play Maria in our high school musical. When we're adults and I'm playing Maria on Broadway, I'll send you a ticket so you can come watch me show you how it's done."
With that, Rachel storms out of the choir room. As she does, she hears Noah's parting words.
"Have you two been giving her 'bitch lessons'? Cuz, that was a bitch move, but like…..badass."
She doesn't hear Quinn or Santana's response to that because she's already too far down the hall. Footsteps quickly catch up to her.
"Rachel! You're not supposed to be in the hall alone, remember? Rick 'The Dick' made sure of that." Finn takes her hand.
"Right. I forgot. He hasn't done anything yet and I highly doubt he will."
"I'm not willing to risk it." He watches her cautiously as they walk. "I can't believe you handed her the part like that."
Tears leap to her eyes. "Me neither! It was a snap decision and I'm kind of regretting it!"
He laughs lightly and warps an arm over her shoulders. "Puck was right, it was pretty badass of you to put her in her place like that."
"I'm kind of glad I did it, but I don't actually want to pass on Maria!"
Finn kisses her temple. "You may have said you're passing it up, but it's still up to the directors. I'll text Artie and let him know you do still want to be considered for the part."
She flushes and mumbles "Do you think you could ask him not to mention it to anyone else in Glee? It'd kind of detract from the little scene I made in there."
He laughs again and promises her he will.
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"We're double casting Maria."
Rachel unclenches her hands. She can live with this decision.
"What the hell is double casting?" Mercedes asks.
For the second time in a matter of days, Rachel is surprised by how little Mercedes knows about show business. "It means that we'll both get to play Maria. I'm guessing one of us will get the matinees and Sunday performances while the other gets the evening and Saturday performances."
"Actually, Rachel, we're adding a week. You'll both get four nights and two matinees."
Rachel nods. "Fair enough. Mercedes, it'll be a pleasure sharing the spotlight with you."
Coach Bieste, Ms. Pillsbury, and Artie smile in satisfaction.
Mercedes looks less pleased. "Are you double casting any other roles?"
"No, just Maria."
"Thank you for your time" she says while standing.
Coach Bieste sits up straighter with a slight scowl. "Where are you going?"
Mercedes ignores her and faces Rachel. She repeats her query from the previous afternoon. "Tell me you were better than me. Tell me." Rachel doesn't respond. She can't. She knows she wasn't better, she's just a better fit for the role. "Why is it no one ever wants to hurt her feelings? You know, it's always been 'The Rachel Berry Show' around here, but it's not gonna be for me. No, not in my senior year."
"Mercedes, don't make this a stupid pride thing." Artie requests.
"Oh it's a pride thing, but it's not stupid." She turns back to Rachel. "Congratulations, you got the part after all. I don't want it. Not if I have to share it with you."
The rest of the people in the office watch in dismay as Mercedes leaves.
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They're performing their mash up of Thriller and Heads Will Roll at the halftime show tonight. They'd all been looking forward to it. But with Mercedes angry (and probably hurt) over losing the Maira role, they're not sure if she'll participate. She's not a soloist, but it'll still throw things off if she doesn't show. Tina, Sam, and Brittany go to talk to her about it. Rachel figures Mercedes wouldn't want anything to do with her right now, so she stayed out of it. Kurt is too angry with his friend's comments to be willing to speak to her just yet, so he didn't go. Artie was going to, but Mike pointed out that since he is a director of the show and helped with casting, she'd probably be upset with him, too. Eventually, the three return and announce that Mercedes will still be performing with them, she just doesn't want to talk to Rachel or Artie. They could understand that. Puck made a comment about her being a little childish, which Santana nodded to, but Rachel understands it. She's not sure she'd be feeling up to performing with everyone if she'd just lost the role she'd tried so hard for.
She stays on the opposite side of the room while they have their dinner. The New Directions, Titans, Cheerios, and marching band kids all gathered in the school cafeteria to eat and hang out before the game. They also used that time to make sure everything was ready. The game went well. During the first half Rachel sat with her friends, but near her family. Her mom, Scott, Aunt Kelly, Uncle Andy, Tyler, and Abby came to watch the show and game. Uncle Burt, Carole, and a few other glee parents sit near them. Word had spread, so a lot of classmates, friends, and even family members came. Which is why the stands at McKinley High were packed more so than usual Friday night. Not only were the stands packed, but people lined the side of the field. Rachel knows Coach Sue and Coach Bieste are using smoke machines to fill the football field with thick fog while they put on their costumes and zombie makeup.
The crowd roared and danced while they performed. Even those visiting with the opposing team got into the spirit. Everyone had a blast. Who knew that walking around like zombies will singing Thriller on a football field would be so…..thrilling? They ended to enthusiastic applause and shouts. The funniest part to Rachel was that the Titans played the second half of the game while still in costume and makeup. It freaked out the other team and the Titans won another game.
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Rachel pierces a shrimp and eats it, but barely registers how delicious it is. The show last night was awesome, but afterwards, Mercedes had walked away without a word.
"It's over and done, Rach. Nothing else to be done. Accept that you got the part and be happy." Scott advises.
"Yeah, but I feel like I only got it by default. Besides, I may have lost a friend over this."
Her mother gives her a sympathetic look. Scott shakes his head. "If Mercedes stops being your friend over this, then she's not a very good friend."
"That's just it! She's been a great friend for years! She supported me through AA. And now she's tossing it away over a role? I don't get it."
"Crap!" They look over at Shelby, She's using her napkin to dab at the red sauce now splattered on her shirt.
Rachel grimaces sympathetically. "That's gonna stain."
Her mother tosses the napkin down in defeat. "Yeah. I'd better go change and soak this right away."
She leaves the kitchen, her footsteps hurrying up the stairs. Scott goes back to eating. Rachel takes a sip of water.
"What are your intentions towards my mother?"
Scott coughs. He wipes his mouth with his napkin. "What?"
Rachel leans back, crossing her arms. "You heard me. Do you love her?"
"Yes. I do. I want to spend my life with her."
"So why haven't you proposed yet?"
Scott looks at her seriously. "Would you be okay with that?"
She can tell he's nervous about her answer. It's sweet. She decides to respond with a question of her own. "Are you okay with being my stepfather?"
His serious expression melts into one of warmth. "Yes. Absolutely. Would you be okay with being my stepdaughter?"
She smiles at him, hoping her expression is just as warm as his. "Yes, I'd be good with that." Then she points her fork at him. "But you'd better treat my mom right and make her happy. She's been through a lot."
"I know. So have you."
Rachel tilts her head, debating the wisdom of asking her next question. She decides it's too important to not ask. "We have. If you marry my mom and take her as your wife and me as your stepdaughter, you're gaining family, but also a lot of emotional baggage. Are you really okay with that?"
"Absolutely. I want you both in my life. I really really want your mom to be my wife. And I really really want you to be my daughter." He clears his throat. "Stepdaughter. Besides, I'm strong. I can carry whatever baggage you dump on me. In fact, I'm hoping my strength will help me carry the baggage for you, so it's easier for you to handle."
Rachel blinks away sudden tears and swallows. "Okay."
She can't leave it like that. She stands and Scott immediately does the same. She wraps him in a hug. They've hugged before, but this time feels different. More…fatherly. Or maybe, this time she's letting herself acknowledge how fatherly he is. They retake their seats.
"So…..do you want to help me choose a ring?"
"Duh! Of course!" She grins happily, thrilled to get to help him make such a big decision. "When do you think you'll pop the question?"
He suddenly pales and she giggles. He's still nervous? After all that? "I'm not sure."
She grins. "You should ask soon."
He smiles at her excitedly, his dimples showing. "You think?"
She nods. "Definitely. Soon."
"I'll start ring shopping tomorrow, then."
They're back to discussing the highlights of last night's game when Shelby makes her way back downstairs with a new, clean shirt on.
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At Monday's booty camp, Mercedes comes late. Kurt watches her come hurrying in carrying a coffee, much to Mr. Schue's irritation. She tosses the empty cup in the trash and takes her place.
"The widow maker. One of the hardest show choir dance moves. If we master this, we're set. Mike and I will move amongst you and tap you out once you get it right. Let's go!"
They line up. Kurt takes a spot next to Blaine and the two share a grin. The do the move over and mover. Mr. Schue and Mike weave between them, tapping people out. Kurt is not surprised that Blaine is tapped out well before him, but is surprised when even Puck is, too. He refocused with renewed determination and is finally tapped out. He grabs a water bottle in relief and watches the final two; Mercedes and Finn.
"C'mon, Finn, you can do it." Their coach encourages.
"Can't." Puck challenges from the side.
"Oh, yeah?" Finn always did do well when challenged.
"Yeah." Puck grins.
His stepbrother gets it on the next try and Kurt pats his back as he passes. Then he grimaces at his now sweaty hand and hastily wipes it on a towel. Only Mercedes is left. Kurt isn't particularly happy with her right now. She's had an attitude all year and it's just been getting worse. Her comments to Rachel about sick kid perks and constantly bringing up how sick she's been really upset him. That was a low blow from the black diva and entirely uncalled for. She's been a good friend for years, so he really hopes she snaps out of this phase soon. He wonders if there's anything he can say or do to help her.
"Down, open." Mike guides her. Mercedes fails. He encourages her to try again. "C'mon, Mercedes! Down, open."
"My ankle hurts."
"Push through it." Being the last student, she now has the attention of both Mike and Mr. Schue.
"I don't feel good."
Kurt shares irritated looks with the others. She's really laying on the excuses pretty thick. Anything to get out of doing this, while the rest have worked their butts off to master it. At home, Rachel has been helping both him and Finn practice so they'd be prepared today.
"You're fine." Their coach argues, staring to lose his patience.
"No I'm not!" It appears Mercedes lost her patience as well.
"Mercedes, I want you to be the best you can be, okay? Did you even practice this?"
"Stop picking on me! You're always singling me out, making me look bad!"
"That's crazy."
Personally, Kurt agrees with their coach. He can't think of any time Mr. Schue singled Mercedes out in a negative way or made her look bad. And he's not picking on her. Kurt wonders if she's feeling attacked because deep down she feels guilty knowing she did not practice like she was supposed to. Instead of owning up to it, she's making excuses and casting blame elsewhere. He shakes his head. He'd thought she was better than this. He hates to admit it, but his sister was right. Mercedes is talented, but lazy.
"No, you're crazy for not letting me shine. Where's Rachel, huh? I don't see her here, being a part of the team."
Kurt clenches his jaw shut. She's still attacking Rachel instead of owning up to her own shortcomings? Unbelievable. Blaine takes his hand.
"Rachel practices at—"
"No one asked you, Finn!" She snaps at the tall boy. She turns back to Mr. Schue. "Everyone knows Rachel's your favorite."
"That's not true."
"Yeah, it's true. And you give that skinny, attention-seeking, ass-kisser everything! And for three years, I took it! But not anymore. I'm done."
Slack jawed, they watch Mercedes storm out, knocking over a music stand as she goes. She suddenly spins back to them. "You know what? I've outgrown you. I've outgrown all of you!"
"Mercedes! If you walk out that door, you're out of Glee club."
Kurt has never heard Mr. Schue sound this angry before. He watches Mercedes pause. Then, she straightens up, squares her shoulders, and walks out. He releases a breath of disbelief. The others start murmuring. Some are shocked. Some are a little relieved she's gone because of her recent attitude, but all are disappointed. They didn't peg her for a quitter when things got hard. Blaine seems to have had the same thought.
"Do you really think she's that jealous of Rachel? Or is she realizing she needs to work harder and put in more work and is just too lazy to be bothered?" Blaine questions quietly.
"I'm thinking a mix of both." Quinn admits.
"Mercedes is talented. Losing her is a true loss for us. But, she always came up with excuses and rarely put in her best effort. It may be good for her to take some time to really think about it." Mr. Schuester tells them.
"It might work out well for us, too, Mr. Schue." Finn points out. "Now, everyone who is in the club are people who are willing to work hard and pull their weight. And…less attitude and ego clashes."
The others hesitantly nod. While Kurt agrees with his stepbrother, he hopes Mercedes pulls her head out of her ass soon and rejoins them. She's one of his best friends! Or….she was. He's not sure anymore.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Rachel focuses on writing songs with Blaine, rehearsing for Sectionals, and rehearsing for West Side Story. It's weird being in Glee without Mercedes. But calmer. Still, she is missed. Rachel wonders how long it'll take the other diva to deflate her ego and come back with an apology. On top of all of this, she's helping Scott choose a ring for her mother, doing homework, training Yero, increasing how frequently she jogs (or goes on her elliptical), and practice for the halftime show only just ended last week. She's tired. So when Joshua from the football team says he's hosting a party before Thanksgiving, she's thrilled. Something fun and stress free, where she can relax and have fun.
"Mom, Josh is hosting a party at his house. My friends are going. Can I go?"
"No."
"No?"
Her mom shakes her head. "Rachel, the last party you went to was broken up by the cops! You're not going to another one."
"But…..but I didn't—"
"You admitted to drinking."
"Sips! What if I swear I won't this time! I heard your lecture, I promise! Not only will I not drink any alcohol, I won't accept any open drinks from anyone. I'll bring my own water bottle! Please, Mom?" She makes sure to give big doe eyes.
Her mother hesitates, then sighs. "Still no, Rach."
Rachel blinks. She was not expecting that. "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Don't you think you're being a little ridiculous?"
Her mother whirls around to face her. "Excuse me?"
Rachel is too annoyed to back down. "One party got too loud and a few people drank, so I can't go to any party ever again?"
"I didn't say that, I said—"
"Well, it's basically what you said! It's just a party! This one will be smaller, so it won't get as loud! And I already promised not to drink."
Her mother breathes out hard through her nose. She's gritting her teeth. "Rachel, enough. You're not going and that's final."
"But Mom, I—"
"No."
"Loosen up! Let me live a little!"
Her mother's expression tightens. Shit. "You'll be living in your room for the foreseeable future if you don't watch it."
Rachel honestly isn't sure why she's still pushing. She knows to stop, and yet….."You're being completely unfair and ridiculous."
"Go to your room."
The teen blinks. Seriously? Her mother glares at her. Rachel snaps her mouth shut and stomps up to her room. She paces her room, pouting. Later, when her mother comes upstairs to talk to her, they're both calmer.
"Want to tell me why you were acting that way?"
Rachel is sitting at her bay window with Yero across her feet. "I still think you're being unfair."
"I understand that. But you're normally more respectful. And sweet. You were not earlier."
"I'm sorry, I'm just…stressed."
"You do have a lot going on."
"Which is why I was looking forward to the party, to unwind."
"You can find another way to unwind. You can invite your friends over here for a party!"
"You mean all the friends who'll be at Josh's party?" She regrets her tone when her mother glares at her. She mumbles a quick "sorry".
"Honey, if you're this stressed, maybe you should let something go."
Rachel sits up in alarm. "What? No!"
"Then you need to find a way to unwind so you're not snapping at me and getting yourself in trouble, little miss." Her mother warns her.
Rachel huffs, but knows her mom is right.
"Maybe, for now, you should have an earlier bed time." Rachel turns to her mother in alarm, her mouth open to argue. Her mother goes on before she can. "Not as a punishment, honey. Just as a way to make sure you're getting enough rest to compensate for your very busy schedule."
Rachel runs her fingers through Yero's soft fur and thinks about it. "Okay."
Her mother kisses her head. "Good girl."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
She can't stop thinking about the party and how she can't go to it. Especially since her friends are all going. They're talking excitedly about it and she's getting more and more frustrated.
"You could go." Puck tells her.
"My mom said—"
"Yeah, but you could still go." He points out.
She could still go. She thinks about it. "How?"
"Did you tell her exactly when the party is?"
"No."
He grins. Kurt groans.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Girlfriend, if your Mom said no, then you don't go. It's disappointing, but it's simple."
"Do you think you could talk to her and—"
She's interrupted by Holly laughing. "Sorry, girlfriend, but no way. That's your battle, not mine."
Rachel slumps.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The shadows of the tree branches dance across her ceiling. She watches them and wonders what to do. Should she be responsible and respectful and not go to the party like her mother said? Or should she sneak out and go anyway? Normal. She wants to be normal. She has a second chance at life, doesn't she? Doesn't that involve actually living? And at some point in their life, a normal teenager sneaks out to a party. Right? Is that normal for her, though? She bites her lip. She makes a mental pro/con list.
Pros:
-She'll get to have fun with her friends
-She'll get to check off another normal teenage experience
-She'll actually be living
Cons:
-Her mother will be upset
-She'll get in trouble
But, what trouble? Grounding? She can handle that. Is upsetting her mother worth a little fun with her friends? There's still a minuscule part of her that worries her mom will stop loving her as much if she's bad. But the rest of her knows she could rob a bank or murder someone and her mother will still love her.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"I thought you were just hanging out with your friends."
Rachel frowns, trying to hide her nerves. "I am."
Her mother tilts her head, considering her outfit. "Okay. You're just dressed a little nicer than usual for just hanging out with friends."
She shrugs, hoping it looks casual. "Yeah, but if we end up going to a restaurant or something, I want to look nice." Better distract her. Guilt works well for distractions. "Why, are you saying I don't normally dress nice?"
"No, honey, not at all. I'm sorry. I just meant you're dressed nicer than usual. I was not trying to insult you."
"Okay." They hear a beep from outside and Rachel knows Santana has arrived. Rachel kisses her mother's cheek. "Bye, Mom!"
She hurries out the door and climbs into Santana's car.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Hobbit?"
Rachel nods, ignoring her twisting stomach. "Yes. Let's go!"
Santana grins and takes off.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The party is fun. It's smaller than the last party she went to, so it's quieter, just like she told her mother it would be. Tamer, too. She gets a chance to talk to more people and dance more. She turns down all drinks offered to her, sticking with her own water bottle.
"You sure, Jew babe?" Noah questions, "You're already going to get in trouble. Wanna go all in?"
He is holding out a red solo cup. She hesitates, but then shakes her head. "No, I'd better not risk it. Thanks, though, Noah."
He shrugs amicably and ambles off. Rachel turns back to Tina. The girl has been pretty upset since Mercedes walked out on them. She hasn't been sitting with them at lunch or even talking to them. It's upsetting all of them, but Kurt and Tina most of all. Well, Kurt is upset, but he's also angry so he's able to ignore it better than Tina. Rachel is doing what she can to cheer up her younger friend. The party really is fun. It's not something she'll want to do regularly. She has learned that she's not a big "party" type person. She'd much rather be with just her closest friends and hanging out at their spot or singing or watching a movie or something. Once in a while, though, this is nice. Besides, Rachel is aware that the most fun part was the sneaking out. Not that there was much sneaking to do. It was more like convincing her mother she was doing something different. She considers it acting practice and thinks she played her part well.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Shelby pauses the movie when she hears the front door open. Rachel steps in and she relaxes. "Hi, honey! Did you have a good time?"
Rachel smiles at her. "Yeah, it was fun."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it, because it'll be a while before you have 'fun' again." At Rachel's obvious shock, she actually chuckles. "Just how naive do you think I am?" At least the girl looks sheepish, now.
"How much trouble am I in?"
"Oh, a lot."
"Grounded, huh?" She seems to be expecting that.
"Not exactly. We'll talk more tomorrow. Go to bed, Rachel."
Her daughter looks hesitant, so Shelby points to the stairs. Once she's out of sight, Scott starts laughing quietly.
"Tomorrow is not going to be fun for either of you. Are you sure you don't want me to stick around?"
She kisses him. "Nah. I've got it covered."
Remembering Rachel's meltdown a year ago, she decides it'd be best to go up and give her a goodnight hug and tuck her in.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Shelby lets Rachel tell her about the party over breakfast. She's glad Rachel only drank from her own water bottle. She can tell her kid is being completely truthful. It calms some of the fire in her. When she realized that Rachel was going to the party anyway, she'd wanted to storm to the party and drag her kid out in front of everyone. Kelly convinced her not to. Her sister had let her vent a lot of her anger out, then she'd called Scott. Her boyfriend had been amused and a little surprised. Between the two of them, Shelby was calm by the time Rachel got home.
"I'm sure you noticed when you went to bed last night that some of your stuff is missing."
Her daughter nods. "I noticed my laptop. What else?"
"Your GameBoy and iPod."
Rachel shifts in her seat. "Um, some of the original songs Blaine and I wrote are on the iPod. I kind of need it to—"
"I recall you saying Blaine has a copy on his own iPod, so you'll just have to share with him."
"How long am I grounded for?"
Shelby sighs. "You're not grounded, exactly. Clearly, grounding isn't leaving a big enough impact." Her daughter's eyes widen. "My first thought is to ban you from participating in West Side Story."
Before she can go on, Rachel jerks in her seat, her eyes widening and instantly filling with tears. "What? No! You can't! Please, Mom! I worked so hard to get that role! I earned that role! And being lead in a musical can only help my chances of getting into NYADA. Please, Mom, please!"
Shelby scoots closer and wipes away her daughter's tears. "Relax, honey. Take a few deep breaths and calm down, okay? I said it was my first thought, but it's not the one I'm going with."
Rachel sags bonelessly into the seat. "Thank you."
"I'm not letting you keep going with the musical for your sake. It's for the sake of the directors and the rest of the cast. Losing their leading actress would be challenging. They could replace you with Mercedes, but that's only if the girl is willing. And you guys have already started rehearsals. It wouldn't be fair to the others."
Rachel nods solemnly. Shelby takes her hand.
"There are two other options. I'm going to let you decide. Option one is you get spanked, then grounded for a week."
Shelby is watching her daughter carefully. It was barely perceptible, but her kid flinched. More obviously, she paled slightly and looked down. Nope. Spanking is out. Shelby can't express how much she fucking hates Leroy Berry. To make her daughter this afraid of a simple spanking….Shelby shakes those thoughts away and squeezes Rachel's hand.
"But I think the second option is better for you. It's not a normal grounding. Every moment that you're not in school or rehearsal for Glee or the musical will be spent by an adult's side. You'll be helping said adult however they need help. Cleaning, mostly. Helping Uncle Burt in his shop. Scott mentioned he could use help organizing papers in his office. You will not watch television. You will not play games. You will only see your friends and boyfriend at school. The only times you'll be alone will be to go to the bathroom and sleep."
Rachel looks a little overwhelmed. "For how long?"
"Three weeks."
"Three?!"
"Rachel, you deliberately disobeyed me! You were told not to go to a party and you went anyway. And you lied to me about it! You told me you were going to hang out with your friends."
"Technically, I did."
Shelby narrows her eyes at her. Rachel shrinks. "What's it gonna be, Rach?"
She's not going to spank her kid. Not after her flinch at the mere thought. She's hoping Rachel will choose the second option on her own so that she can still feel like she has some control over her punishment. She's surprised Rachel is taking so long to consider it. She's gripping her own hands now, and looking down at her lap. After rolling her lips between her teeth for a few minutes, she finally looks up.
"Option two." Comes the mumbled response.
Shelby releases a breath. "Okay. It starts now."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In the week leading up to Thanksgiving, Rachel finds herself willingly going to bed early. She still jogged with Yero or went on her elliptical in the morning, but not every day. Just as her mother warned her, she spent every day outside of school and rehearsals helping an adult. She didn't mind helping the Johnson's next door. They're clearing out their basement. Rachel helped them sort and organize the items, even labeling things, then she carried some boxes upstairs and loaded them in their car to be taken to Good Will or the Salvation Army. She knows the older couple is still wary of her health, which explains why they watch her so closely while she carries the boxes and insist she take breaks. When they finished, she sat drinking their special hot cocoa and chatting. Two days were spent in Uncle Burt's shop. She was miserable, bored, and her hands were covered in grease. What made it worse is that Uncle Burt made sure both Finn and Kurt stayed away from the shop those days. Another day was spent scrubbing every bathroom in their house. There are four. Four. The one in her mom's room, the one in her room, the guest bathroom upstairs, and the power room downstairs. Her mother laughed when she found her slumped against the bathtub, half asleep.
"Go to bed, princess. You did a good job." Her mother helps her stand.
Rachel points a floppy hand in the direction of the tub and mumbles "I need to rinse it out."
Her mother chuckles. "I'll do that. I don't think you'll be awake much longer."
She's pretty sure she fell asleep mid sentence that night. Thank God Thanksgiving is here and she can finally have a brief reprieve while with her extended family. She'd spent all week bemoaning her punishment to her very amused friends and talking about how excited she is to visit the rest of her family for Thanksgiving.
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