Chapter 7: Busy Living

Despite her punishment, her mother treats her just as warmly and lovingly as ever. Which is why she enjoys the drive to Columbus where they talk and sing the whole way. And not just them. Scott is coming with them for Thanksgiving this year. Her mom thinks it's to spend more time getting to know their family. That's partially true. Rachel knows the truth. Scott is going to pull Grandpa aside and ask for his daughter's hand in marriage. It's making Rachel nearly giddy. On this drive they discover that Scott can sing. That had been a pleasant surprise for both of them. It turns out, he'd just never had any interest in it, so he just….doesn't sing. Meaning he had no idea that he's actually a pretty decent singer. Rachel had been appalled.

"How do you not sing?! I mean, even just along to the radio or something?"

The man had shrugged. "I sing along, but I'm not focusing on listening to myself!"

She'd shaken her head in bewilderment. Now that they've pulled up to her grandparent's house, Rachel heads inside. She's barely through the door before she's lifted off her feet.

"Grandpa!"

"Hey there, darlin."

She greets her grandmother while her grandfather is welcoming Scott to their home. They've all met enough times that they know one another, but aren't close. Yet. Scott and Uncle Andy hit it off from the start, so those two are sort of friends now. Once everyone has gotten drinks and sits around the table, they start catching up. Rachel is not amused when the topic comes around to her getting in trouble a second time this fall. Her grandparents glare at her.

"Why would you go to the party after your mother told you not to?" Nana questions her.

"I wanted to be normal." She groaned. "And I figured it'd be a fun way to unwind."

She didn't miss the glance the adults had shared at her first statement but she decides not to question them on it.

"Well, was it fun?" Grandpa asks.

The teen shrugs. "Yeah. It's…going to parties with a bunch of people doesn't seem to be all that much fun to me. I'd rather be with my closest friends and just hang out." The adults smile, clearly liking that. "But it was fun to get to experience. A party like that might be good like once every couple months or something."

"So you've reached your limit on parties for a while?"

Rachel nods. "Definitely. No more parties for the rest of this year, at least."

"I'm assuming you mean this calendar year and not school year, right?" Scott clarifies with a smirk.

"Right. I might have like…two more parties in me this school year. Maybe three if it sounds fun enough."

"And if you have permission, right?" Her mother is watching her expectantly.

Rachel smiles sweetly. "Right! Of course."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Dylan and Oliver come running in and tackle her to the ground. She laughs and wraps her arms around them, trying to roll over so she's on top of them. She catches Dylan, but Oliver wriggles away to freedom. The eight year old is laughing and squirming.

"No! Let me go!"

Rachel starts tickling him. "Why should I?"

His laughter becomes hysterical, tears streaming down his face and he's squirming even more. He stutters and stammers out his response.

"Be-because then…..I can't…..give y-you…the picture!"

Rachel pauses her tickling and tilts her head. "Picture?"

The little boy nods. "I drew you a picture."

Rachel grins and stands. "In that case, I suppose I should let you go."

Dylan scrambles away. While he's digging in his backpack for the picture, Uncle Mark and Aunt Amy hug her tight. Extra tight. She assumes they're still a little emotional about what happened the last time she was here. Ollie takes her hand.

"Did you bring it? Did you? Did you?" His eyes are bright and hopeful.

She forces a confused frown onto her face. "Bring what?"

His little face begins to fall, his disappointment obvious. Rachel grabs his arm and leads him to the guest room she and her mother always use when they stay. "I'm kidding, Ollie. I was just teasing. Of course I have your CD here."

His excited smile returns and she grins, handing over the CD. The boy takes it and hugs her tight, kissing her cheek before running out of the room. Rachel follows him out and sits on the couch. Dylan joins her, handing her a picture. It's obviously supposed to be her, wearing a cape, shoving Oliver out of the way of the truck. He definitely made her look like a superhero.

"This is awesome, Dyl. Thank you!"

He grins. "You really are a superhero."

She laughs lightly. "No, I'm—"

"Well you're my hero. Ollie's, too." He says it with such conviction that all of her protests evaporate. She smiles instead. He smiles back, then his smile slips and he becomes serious. "It's really cool that you saved Ollie. But Rachel? It was really scary, too."

She pulls him into a hug. "Yeah. It really was."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Rachel greets the Winters clan warmly when they arrive. Maybe it's just because he gets along so well with Uncle Andy, but she feels like Scott fits in with everyone really well. She's quite happy about this and she knows Scott is relieved and her mother is thrilled. He's an only child, like her, so he's not used to a large family like she hadn't been. When it comes time for their annual "football" game, they head outback. Rachel is happy to be able to fully participate this year. She briefly thinks about last year, sitting in a chair on the patio with her grandparents, wrapped in a blanket and forced to just watch. She'd been fine with it at the time; mostly because she'd been so tired and weak. Now, she runs past Uncle Andy and dodges his outstretched hand. She laughs until Uncle Mark snags her from behind and spins her. She drops the ball. Thankfully, Dylan had been close by. He grabs it and takes off for the end zone. Rachel laughs, watching him dive between Aunt Amy's legs, making her screech and fall over. The adults win this year, but Rachel really doesn't care. It was fun.

She heads inside to help her grandmother with the last of the cooking. Rachel really enjoys her talks with her grandmother while they cook. Especially since she's usually getting a mini cooking/baking lesson at the same time. With dinner ready, everyone sits and enjoys a delicious meal.

"Uncle Andy, can you pass me the rolls?" When her uncle reaches for them, she teases him, "And you can just pass them this time, not throw them."

Laughter breaks out and the family starts reminiscing about the food fight from the previous year.

"Tyler started it, not me!"

"Oh, not this again, Andy."

"If you had just passed the casserole to her in the first place—"

Scott laughs and comments that he'd liked the photo that had resulted. Everyone agreed it was a funny picture and a fun memory, but that it should not be repeated. As dinner winds down, her grandfather clears his throat.

"This past year has been…rough."

Rachel bites her lip. She can't help but think that he's putting it too lightly. It was a nightmare. It was hell. A glance at her mother's somewhat pale complexion, watering eyes, and thin lips tell her she's of the same mind. Next to her, Nana squeezes Rachel's hand, her own eyes tearing up. Grandpa goes on.

"But it is ending on a positive note and we have a lot to be thankful for."

Everyone smiles, albeit sadly, and agrees. Rachel sips her iced tea and wonders what her mother would have done this year if she'd died. Would she be sitting here with Scott? Maybe they'd go visit Scott's family, instead. She gives herself a mental shake. It doesn't matter because it didn't happen. She survived, she's healthy, and everyone is together and happy.

And thankful.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Rachel enjoyed her usual nighttime catch-up chat with her older cousins. She'd been a little surprised when they, too, berated her for running in front of the car and risking her life. It didn't take her long to realize their anger was fueled by guilt. They felt that they, as the older cousins, should have been the ones to save Oliver. Not that they weren't proud of her. They told her how incredible it had been, but pointed out that because they already nearly lost her, she should have been the last person to risk her life. Tyler especially was feeling guilty. It seems that as the oldest, and older male cousin, he thinks he should have kept a closer eye on Ollie and he should have been the one to protect him and Rachel. Rachel hit him with a pillow, called him a moron, then hugged him.

"But you're all recovered, right?" Abby verifies.

Rachel shrugs. "Mostly. My cut, scrapes, and small bruises healed. The one on my side is taking a while to fully heal."

"Really?"

She pulls up her shirt to show them the fading bruises. "It doesn't hurt anymore, it's just….not gone yet."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"See? She survived being told no and you survived her ignoring you telling her no." Her mother teases her.

"Ha ha." Shelby glares at her. "Saying no to her was hard, but not as bad as I feared. I know I need to get used to saying it. Was I being ridiculous? Saying no to a party?"

"Not after how the first one went."

"And ended."

"That too. She admitted to drinking, then had police break up the party. It was reasonable of you to say no to another party so soon."

"Would you have said no?" She's honestly curious.

"I would have." Her sister confirms.

"I'm not sure." Andy counters. "I may have just laid down stricter expectations this time. Not that saying no wasn't reasonable, it's jut not what I would have done."

"Clearly, we would have discussed it first." Kelly narrows her eyes at her husband while the others chuckle.

"Right," Her husband grins, "but she was asking what we'd do in her place. In her place, she's mostly a single parent, making this decision alone. For now." He tips his beer towards Scott, who grins.

"What about the punishment?"

The others all shake their head. "Shel, punishments are the thing parents always fear they get wrong. There's rarely a 'right' answer. And the worst thing you can do is doubt yourself and change it after you've already laid down a consequence."

"Was three weeks a little excessive?"

"Think of it this way, it was one week for going to the party after you said not to, one week for lying to you about it, and one week to make sure it never happens again."

"Or at least gets her to think twice next time."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Shelby is glad that Scott offered to sleep on the sofa bed. Not that she doesn't enjoy sleeping with him, even just in the "sharing a bed and sleeping" sense, but tonight she needs to be with her daughter. Tonight, with memories of the past year and how things could have gone running rampant through her mind, she needs to cuddle her little girl and remind herself that she's here and she's healthy. The mother doesn't think the English language has the right words to express just how relieved and thankful she is to be spending this Thanksgiving holding her child.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Rachel got warm hugs from everyone before they departed the next day. From his satisfied smile and calm demeanor, Rachel assumes that Scott's conversation with her grandfather went well. To check, she catches his eye and he winks at her. Good. She hopes he proposes soon. As they pull into the driveway, Rachel starts gathering up her stuff and taking off her seatbelt.

"Did you order something, Rachel?"

Rachel follows her mother's gaze. It lands on a shadow on their front porch. A box? She frowns. "No."

Once they bring their luggage inside, Rachel's mom brings in the box from the porch. "Oh, it's a bouquet of flowers! They're addressed to you."

Rachel smiles. From Finn? She's not sure who else would send her flowers. But she'll be seeing Finn tomorrow, so she's not sure why he wouldn't just hand them to her himself. She shrugs it off and examines the flowers. It's a small bouquet. She can't identify the type of flower, but they're black. She's never seen black flowers before. The card on the front says her name. She takes it off and flips it over, hoping to reveal the sender.

Thanksgiving seems like the perfect day to start saying "Thank You"

Her stomach drops and her blood runs cold.

"Rachel?" She hands the note to her mother. "That son of a bitch."

Scott pulls it from her clenched hand and reads it. Her mother wraps her in her arms. Scott glowers at the note.

"I'm sure it's fine, but I'm going to check the house. You two stay here."

Her mother brings her with her while they inspect the main floor. Scott checks upstairs and the basement. Once it's deemed all clear, they reconvene in the living room. Rachel only half listens to the adults discussing whether they can go to the police or not. They take pictures and decide to save the card, but decide they probably don't have enough to go to the police with.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Thanksgiving Take 2 was another fun occasion, with the full Hummel-Hudson clan as well as Scott joining them. Good food, good company, good conversations, and good times. The only negative moment was when they told them about the "thank you" flowers that were delivered the previous day. Uncle Burt and Finn got really angry and the discussion of police came up once more. The next day, the kids hold their "Friendsgiving" like they had the year before. Rachel is glad. She hopes they would have done it even if she'd died. By now, thinking that she may have died is a very weird thought. It's in the past. She smiles, glad she was able to shut the door on that part of her life. For good.

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A downside to returning home and the end of the holiday festivities is the return to her punishment. By the end of her second week of punishment, she is skipping her morning jog or elliptical in favor of extra sleep. Two mornings this week, her mother had to rouse her a couple times to get her up and moving. But now, it's Sectionals and she's excited. It's her first real competition where she's not sick! And they're singing original songs, which was her idea. It's thrilling. She'd woken up at the crack of dawn, eagerly bouncing around the house. She played with Yero for a while. That helped her settle down somewhat.

She and Blaine had discussed it in depth and decided they were under too much pressure between school, preparing for Sectionals (largely with helping write the other two songs), and the musical (and Rachel with her punishment exhausting her). They decided not to write yet another whole new original song, or edit one of the other's they'd been working on. Instead, despite Rachel being a tad nervous about singing such a personal song, "Cannonball" will be their opening number at Sectionals. She's glad this won't be the first time her mother hears it, but it is the first time Uncle Burt, Scott, Holly (who came to support the team) and her extended family are hearing it. Blaine hugs her tight, Kurt kisses her cheek, and she walks onto the stage. She stands in front of the microphone. Tina and Brittany stand several steps behind her, as her backup singers. She was relieved that they'd been thrilled to be asked to be her backup. The girls start her off.

"Break down
Break down
Break down"

Rachel takes a breath and begins her song. Well, hers and Blaine's. But mostly hers.

"I was scared to death,
I was losing my mind…."

She lets herself feel the lyrics, swaying gently as she sings. Blaine really did do an excellent job helping her find the right words.

"And now I will start living today
Today, today
I close the door
I got this new beginning and I
Will fly, I'll fly, like a cannonball
Like a cannonball, like a cannonball
I'll fly, I'll fly, I'll fly
Like a cannonball

(Freedom)
I let go of fear and the peace came quickly
(Freedom)
I was in the dark and then it hit me
I chose suffering and pain, I live for the rain
I know, I've gotta get out into the world again"

She has a new beginning. A second chance at life. She chose suffering and pain, and came out on the other side with peace and a bright future ahead of her. She loves her life. She is happy with her choice and lets it shine through in her song. She finishes to thundering applause and bows slightly, a proud smile spreading across her face. She turns to smile at Brittany and Tina. Her friends smile back and leave the stage. The next song, "Pretending", starts and Finn walks on stage.

"Face to face and heart to heart
We're so close yet so far apart
I close my eyes, I look away
That's just because I'm not okay

But I hold on, I stay strong
Wondering if we still belong

Will we ever say the words we're feeling?
Reach down underneath them
Tear down all the walls
Will we ever have our happy ending
Or will we forever only be pretending?"

Finn and Rachel dance around one another while singing, though nothing challenging. Finn is improving, but it's really not his strong suit. Rachel is having fun and feels like it's going well. Another round of strong applause has her smiling brightly. With the rest of the team now on stage with them, they move right into the final song. Santana takes lead.

"He-e-ey you and me
Keep on dancing in the dark
It's been tearing me apart
Never knowing what we are

He-e-ey you and me
Keep on trying to play it cool
Now it's time to make a move
And that's what I'm gonna do"

Artie and Brittany take over, singing alternating lines

"Lay it all down
Got something to say
Lay it all down
Throw your doubt away
Do or die now
Step onto the plate
Blow the door wide open like
Up up and away"

Now, the chorus starts with the whole club singing.

"Let's light up the world toni-i-ight
You've gotta give up the bark and bi-i-ite
I know that we've got the love alri-i-ight
C'mon and light it, light it, light it up
Light it up tonight"

Finn dances to the front to take the next solo.

"Hey-e-ey you and me
Turn it up ten thousand watts
Tell me why we gotta stop
I just wanna let it rock"

Blaine and Tina take the next part and Rachel knows how nervous her friend is to have a first feature in a competition. And while Blaine had solos with the Warblers, this is his first solo with the New Directions. Plus it's a song he had a large hand in writing.

"Hey-e-ey you and me
Keep on staring at the road
Like we don't know where to go
Step back, let me take control"

Tina, being a junior, happily stepped back to let senior Brittany sing with Blaine next.

"Lay it all down
Got something to say
Lay it all down
Throw your doubt away
Do or die now
Step onto the plate
Blow the door wide open like
Up up and away"

They move into the final chorus, with Rachel taking a bit of a lead, singing some belts over her team.

Let's light up the world toni-i-ight
You've gotta give up the bark and bi-i-ite
I know that we've got the love alri-i-ight
C'mon and light it, light it, light it up
Light it up tonight"

They get a standing ovation. Thrilled and proud, the New Directions head off stage, jumping around in their excitement, barely able to walk normally. In their green room, a few of their friends from the Warblers and Vocal Adrenaline are waiting to congratulate them.

"I am so glad the Warblers weren't going against you guys at Sectionals." Sebastian, a new Dalton Warbler admits. Beside him, Trent nods his agreement.

"Not gonna lie," Andrea grins, "I was kind of thinking the same thing." She turns to Rachel. "Any chance you can convince your mom to take over as coach of Vocal Adrenaline again?"

Rachel laughs. "I've asked her and assured her I'm in full support, but she's not interested right now. Maybe after I graduate, she'll go back to coaching."

Andrea and David from VA look disappointed, but unsurprised. At the end no one, not even the other teams competing, were surprised to discover that the New Directions won first place. They proudly took their trophy home, then went to their spot to celebrate. They invited their other glee friends to join them. Since they hadn't been competing against one another and there were no hard feelings, they happily accepted. The large group spent the night around the fire and under the stars singing, laughing, dancing, and having fun.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Sugar Motta is now a member of the New Directions." Mr. Schuester announces, standing next to the girl. "She promises she will keep getting lessons from Ms. Corcoran and she understands she will not be getting any solos."

"This year, at least." Sugar comments.

Mr. Schue grimaces, but goes on. "I know you will all welcome her warmly." There's a smattering of lukewarm applause while Sugar happily takes her seat. Their coach claps his hands. "You guys did a fabulous job at Sectionals, now we need to prepare for Regionals!"

Tina groans. "Can we focus on finishing West Side Story, first?"

"Of course, but we need to start thinking about and planning for Regionals soon. From now until winter break—"

"Which is coming up," Sam grins.

Mr. Schuester laughs. "Yes, I know we're all excited. From now until then, we will be singing Christmas songs to get us in the holiday spirit and going back to practicing basics. Scales, dance moves, harmonizing, and so on. Coach Sylvester will start spending more time with us after the break."

Rachel looks down. She's not here much now because her sister Jean has been unwell. First she had a cold, now she has a sinus infection. Jean is older and while she's not frail, she's not exactly physically strong. She's worried about her and she knows Coach Sue is as well. Since several viruses are spreading through the nursing home, Sue suggested Rachel stop visiting for a while.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Rachel's punishment ends the week before her birthday. She's relieved. Then again, she highly doubts her mother wouldn't have let her celebrate her 17th birthday. Especially since she came so close to not having a 17th birthday. They're having a party, of course. Two, actually. On her actual birthday, the Corcoran family (and Scott) will have dinner at a restaurant together. Then they'll head to her house for cake and presents. On Saturday, the day before, she and her friends will celebrate. She's been getting calls from her father, but she mostly lets them go to voicemail. She called him back once. She was going to ask him to stop calling her, then realized he'd done her a favor by helping Mr. Evans get the job back in September. So she thought it'd be rude to cut him off completely right now. Maybe after the holidays. He sent her a birthday card already. It came a few days before her birthday. It was a sweet card with a heartfelt note inside that made her cry. In a sort of good way. The rather hefty birthday/guilt check was certainly a nice touch.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Shelby stands in Rachel's doorway, frowning at the sleeping teenager. She's already tried to wake her daughter twice. The first time, she'd mumbled and rolled over. The second time she sat up. But she never came downstairs and Shelby didn't hear the shower start. Annoyed and concerned, she'd come up to check on her, only to find her daughter asleep once more. She thinks about how busy Rachel's schedule has been; school, Glee, writing songs for Sectionals, helping Kurt and Finn with their dancing outside of Glee and booty camp, West Side Story rehearsals, and the three weeks of manual labor every day. Shelby's frown deepens. Perhaps three weeks was a bit much.

She moves to sit on the edge of the bed and runs a hand over her back. She sighs. Rachel deserved her punishment. However, perhaps it should have been two weeks instead of three. Or she should have gotten a break two days a week. Rachel has been skipping her morning workout and going to bed early every night, but the fact that she's still too tired to get up in the morning makes her think she pushed her too hard. There are two bright sides that she can focus on. The first is that Rachel can rest more now; the punishment and Sectionals are over, so she can relax more now. The second is that Rachel didn't act too upset about her punishment. The occasional moan or whine, but she didn't have an attitude or argue or even try to wheedle her down to less time. Shelby appreciated that. Then again, she's still wishing she hadn't been so hard on her. She knows this is nothing like before, but the similarity to how she acted in the mornings when she had AA is making Shelby uncomfortable. She shakes the feeling off, reminding herself that this is perfectly normal.

"Hey, princess. Come on. You need to wake up."

Rachel groans and flips over. "My head hurts."

Shelby frowns and feels her forehead. It's a little warm. She kisses her head. Yup. Warm. "Stay here. I'm going to go get a thermometer."

"'Kay."

Shelby steps over Yero to get to the bathroom. She returns with the thermometer and ibuprofen. After Rachel takes the medicine, she sits silently while the thermometer reads her temperature. 99.7. A very low grade fever. Some wouldn't even consider it a fever at all. Still…..

"Alright, hun, you're staying home."

"I am?"

"You are. You have a bit of a fever."

"Oh."

Shelby kisses her cheek. "You can go back to sleep. I'll go call us out for today."

Before leaving, she turns to Yero. "I guess you can't sense fevers? Alright then, watch over her while I'm downstairs."

Yero whines softly, then jumps on the bed. He immediately lays against Rachel's back. Smiling, Shelby steps out.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Her birthday falls on a Sunday, but it's more like a birthday weekend for her. Rachel briefly wonders how much of that is because of how close she came to not making it to 17. She brushes those thoughts away and focuses on the fun weekend. On Saturday, she met up with her girlfriends for manicures. They'd booked the entire nail salon, so it was just them in there. They were allowed to put on music they wanted, laugh, talk and be as loud as they wanted without worrying about disturbing anyone else. Thankfully, the employees took it all in stride; most of the younger ones even seemed to be enjoying themselves in the lively atmosphere. After, they met up with the boys for an early dinner. It was fun, but the best part was when Mercedes walked up to her at the restaurant.

"Um, hi." Mercedes looks around at the mix of expressions. "I don't want to interrupt, but—"

"But you kind of are."

Rachel slaps Santana's arm. "You're not. It's good to see you."

And it is. Mercedes has stayed away from them for over a month, now. She has been missed. Mercedes smiles hopefully. Most of the others smile back.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I was….jealous and tired of not getting solos."

"But you have."

"Yeah, but you always seem to get more. You only didn't get solos when you were too sick. And that's another thing. I'm sorry for my comments about that. I know it wasn't in your control and that you hated it. You're always the center of attention, whether you want to be or not. I need to accept being in your orbit if I want to still be friends with you guys."

"You're tired of her always being the center of attention, so you come to apologize to her at her birthday party? Where it's literally all about her?" Kurt teases.

Mercedes chuckles. "Yeah, well, I saw the posts on Facebook so I knew you'd all be here, together. I wanted to apologize to all of you. And I wanted to wish Rachel a happy birthday."

Rachel looks at her fellow diva. Has she been missed? Yes. But she can't deny that rehearsals have been calmer and smoother without her around. She takes in the hopeful faces from some, even the hopeful look her brother is trying to hide, then takes in the hope and loneliness on Mercedes' face. Rachel stands and wraps Mercedes in a hug. The other girl melts in relief, making Rachel smile.

"Welcome back, 'Cedes." Then, softer, so only her fellow diva can hear, "We do need to talk soon, though."

Mercedes nods hesitantly, then gets wrapped in an excited hug from Tina. The black diva joins them at the table while they finish their meal. Once everyone is done, they head to the roller rink. She'd been skeptical when Brittany first suggested it, but once Tina pointed out that they were also hosting karaoke that night (and Brittany started giving her puppy dog eyes), she caved in. Which is how the large group of friends ended up at the roller rink on a Saturday night to celebrate Rachel's birthday. They alternated between skating and sitting in the cafe portion to either rest or sing on the small stage. As silly as it had seemed to her at first, skating really was fun and it seemed like her friends enjoyed it too.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

On Sunday morning, Rachel's actual birthday, Shelby sits at the kitchen table. Scott is flipping the pancakes and they're waiting on the birthday girl to come down so they can all eat together. The Corcorans and Winters are coming over later in the day, which is why the sound of the front door opening and closing startles her. Shelby gets up and heads in that direction, Yero following at her feet. The footsteps are already starting up the stairs. Her nephew coming over with no warning is not uncommon, but the look of near torment on his face is.

"Kurt?"

The boy pauses on the steps and turns to her. Tears fill his eyes and he hastily wipes them away.

"Honey, what's going on?"

"Your daughter is a drama queen."

Her lips twitch. "Well, yes, but why does that have you upset this morning?"

"This morning. This morning." He responds fiercely.

Shelby blinks in confusion, feeling Scott walk up behind her. Kurt resumes his original destination. Sharing a glance with her boyfriend, they silently agree to follow. Kurt storms into Rachel's room, yanks her pillow out from under her, and hits her with it. Yero growls, so Kurt drops the pillow and steps back.

"Whaa—" Rachel blearily glares at her brother.

"You drama queen! If it hadn't come from good intentions, I'd be calling you a bitch. But I know you meant well, so I will refrain."

Shelby leans into Scott, amused by the scene and insanely curious. Scott wraps an arm around her, appearing just as amused and curious. Rachel pushes herself into sitting position.

"This was not the wake up I was expecting on my birthday." She mumbles, rubbing her eyes.

"Well it wasn't the wake up I was expecting, either!" Kurt snaps, holding out his phone to her.

Shelby watches Rachel's face pale, her lips parting. Her eyes move to Kurt's. The girl truly looks apologetic and regretful.

"Kurt….I am so sorry. I completely forgot about that. I swear! I was going to delete it!"

The boy sighs and sits next to her. Rachel instantly curls into his side, hugging him tight. Kurt hugs her back, a single tear slipping down his cheek. "I figured, but it was…an unpleasant start to my day."

"I'm sorry." Rachel looks up at him. "But…..do you think it would have helped? If…"

Kurt looks away from her. "Maybe. Thankfully, we'll never know."

When he looks back down at her, she's grinning cautiously. "It was pretty dramatic, huh?"

Finally, Kurt softens and gives a slight smile. "Yeah."

"Okay, can we know what this was about?" Shelby can't hold her peace any more.

The kids share a hesitant look. Kurt turns to her. "I woke up this morning to a notification on my phone. I'd gotten an email from Rachel."

Scott frowns. "Did you forget you sent him an email?"

"Well…..I kind of wrote it months ago."

Shelby's stomach drops. "When, exactly?"

"January."

Oh. Shelby knows exactly what that means and can guess what's probably in the email. A wave of sympathy flows through her for her nephew. Then for her daughter, who was probably upset while writing it months ago, but put herself through it in an attempt to make Kurt feel better.

"So," Scott's voice has dropped sympathetically, "it was…."

"I was hoping it'd be a comfort. I wrote it when I thought I was dying. I figured I wouldn't be around for my seventeenth birthday, or any other for that matter, but I also figured it'd be a hard day. So I wrote an email and scheduled it to be sent on the morning of my birthday."

Shelby's mind races. Her first thought is to wonder if her daughter sent one to her. It'd arguably be a harder day for her than Kurt. "Honey, did you…..did you send me one?"

The kids share another look. "Not an email. Yours was…something else. And it was to be delivered to you on Mother's Day. But I…unscheduled yours."

"You remembered to unscheduled your Mom's but not Kurt's?" Scott is confused. So is Shelby.

"Well his was an email to be sent 11 months later. Hers was…..not an email. And it involved another person who was able to remind me. And it was only four months later. Not eleven."

That sort of makes sense, Shelby supposes. She's still curious about hers, though. Scott clears his throat. "Well, pancakes are ready. Kurt, you wanna stay and join us?"

"Since I ran out before eating, I'd love to."

Rachel grins sheepishly.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Rachel enjoys having her relatives come visit. They go to a nice restaurant, then come back to the house for cake. Rachel tried not to laugh at how hard Ollie was trying to be heard over everyone else while singing "Happy Birthday" to her. It really was cute. She was pretty good at ignoring how frequently her mother, grandmother, and aunts were tearing up. Despite the occasional tears, her mother's bright smile outshone everyone else's.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

That Tuesday, Shelby picks Rachel up from school early for an appointment with Dr. Reed. She's really glad these appointments have dropped to once every other month. The less they see him, the further from AA Rachel moves, the happier she is. In the waiting room, Rachel chatters happily about the musical rehearsals. They're coming to an end. They've got everything down and will have a week of final run throughs when they return from winter break, then the show will run the following week.

"Rachel, your numbers have dropped."

Shelby's thoughts stutter to a halt. No. There's no way. She looks at her daughter.

"What? Dropped? But I'm in remission."

Dr. Reed sighs. "You were in remission. I'm so sorry, Rachel. It's back. You're in stage 1."

"I—but—I—I—I—" Her desperate stutters are like punches to Shelby's heart.

"You relapsed."

"How?!" Anger is loosening her tongue. Shelby pulls the doctor's attention. "How?! After everything she went through, how bad it got, how were you not watching her numbers closer?!"

"We were. Her numbers were staying steady and she was doing just fine. Until now."

"How did her numbers drop so suddenly in the past two months?! How would we not know this?"

"Rachel, have you noticed any symptoms starting up?

Shelby turns to her daughter. She's gripping the arms of the chair and taking deep breaths. She places a hand over one of hers, hoping to offer some comfort and help her refocus. Nothing. There's no reaction from the girl. Dr. Reed turns to her, instead.

"Shelby, have you noticed anything?"

Her mind flashes back to the slow-to-heal bruise from the accident. The nights when Rachel willingly went to bed early. The mornings lately when Rachel struggled to wake up. Falling asleep while cleaning the bathroom. The mild fever and headache.

"Y-yes." She stutters out. "She was in an accident and it took a long time for the bruises to heal. She's been sleeping in more, struggling to wake up some mornings. Going to bed early." She shakes her head. "But she's been so busy! Her schedule is packed. And she's been on punishment, so she's had to do a lot more physical work like cleaning and carrying boxes. But I didn't…..she….." She swallows hard "….did I do this? By punishing her with manual labor?"

"No, Shelby. Is it possible the manual labor exasperated her condition somewhat? Possibly, but not definitely. Remember, rest is the best thing for her, not overdoing it. But you absolutely did not cause it."

Shelby wilts, horror and devastation welling up inside, pushing tears to her eyes. "She's sick again?"

He nods slowly. Rachel still doesn't react, her eyes staring at the doctor's desk.

"What now?"

"We caught it earlier this time. That's a good thing. Because this is her second time fighting this illness, we're going to be more aggressive with treating it."

"Good." She narrows her eyes. "No more holding off or waiting to see how she responds. I want her to go back into remission as fast as possible. I'm assuming that since it's early, we have a better chance of fixing this?"

Dr. Reed shifts in his chair and leans on his desk. Shelby's mouth goes dry. "Yes. But remember, when patients relapse, it is not unusual for it to be worse than before. Or harder to fight. Or both."

Worse. She swallows down the bile creeping up her esophagus. "You said we'll be more aggressive. How?"

"Despite how early in the illness she is, we're going to start her with weekly treatments."

"What about a bone marrow transplant?" Her mind is racing, grasping at any possibilities to get them out of this nightmare quickly.

"The moment she hits stage three, we'll begin the process. If she hits stage three. It is very possible that she'll only need a couple transfusion treatments and be back in remission."

"Why not do the bone marrow transplant now?"

"Because it might not be necessary. I swear to you Shelby, we will not hesitate this time. If she hits stage 3, we will immediately begin preparing for the bone marrow transplant. I swear. We won't hesitate. But for now, it may not be necessary. And, we found that the harsher combination of medications was quite effective for her."

Shelby shudders, her grip on Rachel's hand tightening. "But it caused her so much pain…"

Dr. Reed nods slowly, solemnly. "I recall. It still might be better than doing the transfusion."

"But it wasn't your kid you had to watch suffer like that!" She snaps at him.

He bows his head. She can't bring herself to feel any sympathy or regret. After a moment of silence, he lifts his head. "If she hits stage three, we'll do the transplant. For now, we'll do weekly transfusions. I'll give you a script for the daily pills as well. If she gets to stage two, we'll discuss possibly doing the harsher treatment again."

Her hand is shaking as she wipes away a tear. "When do we start?"

"You can pick up the pills from the pharmacy tonight. You can call the clinic and schedule her treatments tomorrow." He glances between them. "I know it's the holidays and this is hard to hear. I'll leave it up to you to schedule her first treatment. You can do it any time in the next couple days, but let's try to do it within a week. The sooner the better."

Shelby looks at her daughter. She's still staring silently at Dr. Reed's desk. Her face is pale, but dry. From this angle, she can't get a good look at her eyes. Her hands are still. She's not even twisting her shirt.

"Rachel, have you had any attacks? Any at all? Any pain?" The doctor questions softly.

For a moment, she doesn't respond or even act like she heard him. Then, slowly, she shakes her head no. Other than that minor motion, she still hasn't moved. Shelby is both relieved that Rachel didn't have any attacks that she kept from her, but worried about how she's reacting to the news that she's sick again. Dr. Reed smiles. She doesn't understand why. Frankly, she wants to smack that smile off his face. How dare he be smiling right now?

"That is good news."

"Right, it means the attacks haven't started yet."

"Or they won't start at all." He says, still smiling.

Finally, Rachel lifts her gaze and looks at her doctor. She still doesn't speak, so Shelby asks the obvious question for her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it is possible that she only has regular aplastic anemia. She might not have Danton's. There's no way to test for Danton's. The only way we'd know if she has it is if she starts getting attacks. She hasn't yet. So she might not. It would certainly be easier, less painful, and less stressful, if she didn't."

"But there's no way to know until an attack happens?"

"Correct."

"And I'm assuming there's no way to prevent—"

He's already shaking his head. "I'm sorry, but no. I really am very sorry that you'll be going through this again. Hopefully it'll be easier and over faster. Just in case she does have Danton's again, you still have her oxygen tanks, right?"

Shelby nods. They hadn't gotten rid of them yet. They'd just moved them to the basement. Less than half a year ago.

"Five months. All she got was five months of remission."

Dr. Reed looks older than she has ever seen him. She wonders much his job wears on him. "I'm sorry. I truly wish I had better news. But like I said, we will be more aggressive this time."

His eyes examine Rachel carefully. The teen has gone back to staring silently down. Her breathing is normal, now. Shelby can't even imagine what's going through her mind right now. Walking out of the doctor's office feels surreal. She feels like a different person than when she'd walked in. Beside her, Rachel is silently shuffling along, moving more like a zombie than a teenager. That worries her. It's not like her kid to be silent. She slides a hand along her back as they walk. They sit in the car.

"Where do you want to go?"

Her daughter is buckled in properly, but is leaning against the passenger door, pressed up against it as close as she can get, eyes focused out the window.

"Rach?"

When there's no response, Shelby presses her hands against her face and breathes deeply. She reminds herself that she needs to stay calm.

"Do you want to go to the Hummel's?"

A slight shake. With a deep sigh, Shelby drives them home. Rachel is out of the car before Shelby has even shut it off and in the house before she can get unbuckled. She lets the seatbelt slip from her hands. The muscles around her mouth tense and tremble as she tries to hold back the emotions threatening to escape. Five months. Five. Fucking. Months. Her hands form fists. One lashes out and slams down on the top of the steering wheel.

"FUCK!"

She pounds it a few more times before switching to squeezing it as hard as she can. When her initial wave of fury passes, she leans her head back and forces herself to take deep breaths in through her nose before releasing them out her mouth. Rachel's coat has been tossed onto the kitchen table. Shelby does the same, then heads upstairs. Rachel's door is shut. Yero is sitting outside the door, whining and pawing at the barrier between him and his special human. Shelby tries not to read into the fact that Rachel purposely shut Yero out. She tires the knob and is relieved when it turns easily in her hand. Yero immediately slips into the room and leaps onto the bed. Rachel is curled on her side on the bed, still fully dressed. Yero carefully wiggles and squirms until he's pressed against her front. Coming closer, Shelby can see her face. Her eyes are still dry, but carry a weight that makes her seem more hurt than if she'd been crying. Shelby sits on the bed and lays a hand on her arm. Rachel pulls away, curling up tighter and burying her face in Yero's fur. Shelby raises her hand and stands.

"Okay, okay." She runs a hand through her hair, at a complete loss. "Honey, I'll leave you be for a while. Come to me for anything at any time. I mean it."

By now she's not expecting a response, so she isn't surprised when she doesn't get one. She longs to curl up with her baby girl, but she's clearly not accepting of that right now. She leaves the door open, goes downstairs, and paces. The framed drawing of Rachel destroying the medical equipment mocks her with each pass.

How did this happen again?

Why?

Why now?

Will it be like before? Better? Worse?

Will she have Danton's again?

She continues to pace, keeping one ear out for any sound from upstairs. That's the more immediate problem. Why is she silent? Should she force her to talk? Should she call Renee? Yes, she should definitely call the therapist. But when? She puts their coats away. Rachel may not be ready to talk to anyone right now, but she is. She grabs her phone. Last time, her sister had been her first call. Her sister is usually her first call. But that was before Scott.

"Hey, Shel!"

Just hearing his voice, warm and sweet, melts a little of the wall she's desperately trying to keep up. Her throat tightens and she can't speak.

"Shel? You there?"

She swallows. "Yeah."

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

What is it about those words that cause the floodgates to open? Are those the magic words that give you permission to acknowledge that you're not okay? Is that it? She sniffles and hastily wipes away the tears that managed to escape, her eyes jumping to the stairs. Still silent up there.

"Shelby?" His tone has become more serious and direct.

"Can you come over?"

"Babe, I'm already on my way."

Despite everything, she smiles. She can count on this man. "Thank you."

"Will you be okay if we hang up? Or do you need me to stay on the line with you?"

"I'll talk to you when you get here. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She goes back to pacing. She knows she should cook dinner for them, but she's not hungry and she's pretty sure Rachel won't want to eat tonight. Headlights splash across her living room walls and she hurries to open the front door. Scott walks in, shuts the door behind him, and pulls her into him without a word. Despite the chill clinging to his coat, he is warm. Warm and solid and steady. Shelby would love to fall to pieces in his arms, knowing he'll help put her back together again. But she can't. She needs to be ready to be there for her daughter. Instead, she leans on him and breathes in his scent. They stand in the foyer in this silent embrace for several minutes. When she's steady enough, she backs up. He takes his coat off and tosses it on the railing. His eyes quickly scan around them.

"Rachel?" He whispers.

She points up the stairs. Now that he's here, she's not sure how to tell him. How can she say the words and not fall apart? Or start screaming out her fury at an unfair life? She leads him to the kitchen and digs through her purse. Silently, she hands him the crumpled paper with Rachel's test results. She watches his face fall as he reads. She watches him pull himself together. She watches through blurry eyes as he comes closer, arms held out for her to fall into.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

In, slowly.
Hold.
Out, slower.

Yero's fur tickles her nose. She shifts her head. He takes that as an invitation to lick her face.

In, slowly.
Hold.
Out, slower.

His comforting warmth presses against her front. Her arm is going numb, but she won't roll over to take the pressure off of it. She can't. She refuses. Then she'll see it. And she can't see it right now.

In, slowly.
Hold.
Out, slower.

It's presence hovers ominously in the dark room. It stares down on her back. She feels the weight of it like a physical thing.

In, slowly.
Hold.
Out, slower.

A beautiful painting of a starry sky above mountains and a rowboat on a river.

In, slowly.
Hold.
Out, slower.

The ghost of a nightmare, following her into her waking world.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX