Hello again! Yay chapter three! So this time you get to see some interaction between Avery and everyone's favorite werewolf! Enjoy!
When I got up the next morning, I almost didn't go down to the Great Hall for breakfast, but I wanted to make sure Lily would be okay for her first day of classes, so I dragged myself down there and absolutely refused to look anywhere but directly in front of me, despite feeling Remus practically staring holes in the side of my head. I helped Minerva hand out schedules to the students above first year once I was finished eating, and went to find Lily while Minerva handled the first year schedules.
"Mum, why does the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher keep staring at you?" Lily asked when I found her, looking behind me at the staff table and I nearly panicked.
"Perhaps I look like someone he knew in the past. That can happen sometimes," I said, trying to be reassuring.
"Oh, okay. Well I hope he'll be a good teacher," Lily said, looking back at me.
"I'm sure he will. Now, let's get your schedule all set up," I said, seeing Minerva walking up behind Lily.
"Ms. Stroupe. Here we are. And don't worry, I made sure to put you in History of Magic with your mother," Minerva said, giving Lily a small wink. Lily beamed at her as she took her schedule and I was grateful Minerva managed to do that for us.
"Ooh, Potions first. Don't let Severus be too hard on you, he knows I'll com kick his butt," I said, looking over Lily's schedule with her, trying to make her laugh.
"And I have your class right after lunch!" she said excitedly, and I noticed she had Defense Against the Dark Arts right after my class. I just stared at the name Prof. Lupin on her schedule for a moment. That should be what my class said too. That's what my class should have said all along, but instead I was Professor Stroupe, though older students began to call me Avery, at my request, as my class sizes got smaller and smaller as the students aged.
"You better head down to the dungeons, you don't want to be late for your first day," I said, kissing the top of Lily's head and sending her along with her friends to their first class of the day. I made my way to my own classroom, letting my fifth year students in when I got there. The morning went by slowly and I almost dreaded going to lunch, knowing there was a very real possibility that I would run into Remus in the hallway on my way to the Great Hall.
"Avery, you're being ridiculous," I said, mentally debating skipping lunch all together, even though I knew Lily would be looking for me. I sighed and made my way into the hallway, and there he was, just a few feet in front of me walking toward the Great Hall. I wasn't sure if I should try to say something to him or not, I didn't know how he would react to me at this point, so I decided to stay back a bit, keeping a sea of students between us. I went to the opposite end of the Great Hall from Remus to walk up to the staff table, but I knew he had spotted me once we were in the Hall. I merely nibbled on my lunch, my stomach churning with nerves. I didn't speak to anyone around me, staying focused on keeping my gaze forward, despite wanting to turn and look at Remus so badly it almost hurt. I found Lily and her friends walking towards my classroom, chatting away happily about their morning classes. I let all of my new first year students into the classroom once I got there, allowing them to choose where they would like to sit, noticing Lily sitting next to a girl with dark curly hair, chatting away happily.
"Settle down everyone. I know you're very excited for your first day at Hogwarts," I said once the last of my students sat down. "Now, some find History of Magic to be drawn out and boring, but in this class we are going to find the fun side of this otherwise dreary subject. So to begin, we will talk about when and where magic originated," I continued, and taught my lesson, trying to keep my students' interest throughout the lesson, and before I knew it, it was time for class to end.
"Okay everyone, no homework this time. But be warned, I may not always spare your minds in this way," I said, making a few students chuckle. "Now, off you go. Don't want to be late for your next class," I said after a beat of silence and the students got up, making their way out the door to their next class. The rest of the day seemed to fly by very quickly and before I knew it I was dismissing my last class of the day. The next couple of weeks went on in the same way and I continued to avoid Remus, not sure if I was quite ready to ask him all the questions I had. I was up rather late after dinner one night with my classroom door open, grading some essays from my first year students (I was alway very proud of Lily's essays, she was very bright) when I saw someone walk by my classroom door. That same feeling of dread crept up and I knew when he saw that my classroom was open that he would come in to say something to me. Not a moment later, Remus Lupin came strolling into my classroom, his face unreadable. I put down my quill and leaned back in my seat with a sigh, butterflies in my stomach. He only came as close as the first row of desks and we just looked at each other for a while. I slowly stood up, unsure of what I thought I was going to do, and walked around to the front of my desk, leaning on it with my arms still crossed loosely and we continued to simply watch each other. Twelve years of bottled up emotion began to rise inside me. Twelve years of yearning, love, pain, and anger threatened to flow out of me and I could feel tears form in my eyes. I put one hand up to my mouth, wanting to say something to him, but I wasn't sure what to say to him.
"Remus," I said, so quietly I wasn't sure he heard me at first. I stood up straight and descended the two stairs from my desk, standing just a meter away from him. I studied him for a long time, taking in his shabby clothes and every new scar I could see. I knew my tears had escaped as I felt something wet on the hand I kept at my face.
"Avery," he said quietly, taking a step towards me.
"Remus, why didn't you just let me know you were okay?" was the first thing I decided to ask him, a bit angrier than I'd intended, putting my hands at my sides.
"I couldn't risk anyone knowing you were tied to me in any way. I wanted to come back to you so badly it hurt. To you, and to our child, and give you a life that you deserved," he said after giving the question much thought.
"It's been twelve years, Remus. Twelve. Do you know how long these twelve years have been without you? I'd convinced myself you had died, just so I wouldn't keep my hopes up about you coming back to me. And Lily, she doesn't know her father. She asked me about you one time when she was young, and I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't know if you would come back to raise our daughter with me. And then, after all these years, you just show up and I'm supposed to do what? Just act like nothing has changed?" I said, my voice rising in volume with each word.
"She's so beautiful, Avery. So much more than I would have ever thought," he said with tears in his eyes. I knew he was talking about Lily and I faltered for a moment.
"She looks like you," I said, much more quietly than before. And she did, she had his sandy brown hair, his brilliant hazel eyes. Of course Lily didn't have all of the scars, as I'd noticed many new ones on Remus' face. I also noticed his hair was thinner and starting to grey, and there were fine lines on his face that made him look older than just 33. And that was all because of the stress his body underwent at each full moon. I was hopeful that stress would be lessened while he was here at Hogwarts and could reliably get the Wolfsbane potion. He took another step closer to me, an arms length away from me now, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to hold him and never let him go again or slap him for leaving me and Lily for twelve years.
"Avery. I- I don't even know what to say to you now. When Dumbledore told me you were a professor, I felt as though I couldn't breathe. I almost didn't take the job, actually, but I knew I had to to see you again. And you are still so beautiful, time has not changed you," he said, slowly stepping towards me and I was getting nervous. My palms were sweaty, my breathing got quicker, and I could hear my heart racing in my ears. I had the urge to run from him, but I knew that would do me no good at this point. I'd been running from him for two weeks. He very slowly reached his hand up to my face and I closed my eyes, relaxing into his touch and letting out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. I put my hand on his and quickly closed the gap between us, putting my arms around his middle, tears flowing freely. He wrapped his arms around me in return, placing one hand behind my head. He smelled of cologne and chocolate, a smell I was all too familiar with and had missed so much after he left.
"I know things will take time and we can't just jump back into a marriage after twelve years, but I'm willing to try if you are," Remus said quietly after a few moments of silence. I looked up at him and just nodded.
"I need to finish grading these essays," I said, pulling away from him and wiping the tears from my face. He followed me up to my desk and leaned on the side of it as I sat down.
"Do you need some help? You know I gave you a run for your month a few times in History of Magic," he said, glancing at some of the already graded essays.
"Oh haha. There's a reason I teach History of Magic and not you, Remus," I said picking up another first year essay. I looked at the name and had a thought. "Here, you can read through this one. Take one of these to go by for grading," I said, handing him Lily's essay to grade and using her friend Romilda's essay to base the grade off of. After reading Romilda's essay, I was sure Lily had helped the girl with it, though I knew better than to think they would cheat and copy each other's essays. He didn't look at the name on the essay he was grading before he started reading and I could tell by the look on his face that he was impressed with the essay. Lily had gotten my same fascination with history as I had and loved History of Magic, she even told me it was her favorite class.
"This is very good for a first year, who's is it?" he said, looking up at me.
"Your daughter's," I said, saying it out loud didn't even seem real to me.
"Just like her mother," he said, turning away from me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking and watched as he read the rest of the essay. We finished grading the first year essays and I was certainly grateful for the help, I wasn't sure how long it would have taken me to do it on my own.
"Thank you for your help, Remus," I said as we walked to my classroom door, stopping just before the doorway.
"Of course. I'll see you tomorrow," he said. He leaned down as though he was going to kiss me, but I turned away from him.
"Not yet, Remus," I said quietly and he nodded his understanding, walking back to his office. After closing up my classroom I retreated into my own office, ready to get some sleep.
Thank you so much for reading! I would love love love to know what you thought about this chapter with Avery and Remus finally speaking with each other! :)
