Maya POV
"Ahh, how are you? You look great..."
Is she... hugging her? She's hugging her. I'd like to yell at her to keep your hands off my… off you.
"Well you too… you're looking well, Arizona" you reply, visibly perplexed by this warm greeting given the manner of your breakup and the subsequent departure of her. It's not just perplexity, but there's also a fair amount of... embarrassment.
"Ehm" I fake a cough, so I can get someone to make the proper introductions.
"Oh I'm sorry... Maya, this is Arizona Robbins… Arizona, this is Maya."
"Nice to meet you, Maya", she replies, with a glowing smile, but from her look it seems she has missed who I am, or rather, who I am for you. You reach out, grab my hand and twine our fingers together. I feel you holding it tightly, I don't know if it's to make it clear that we're together or because seeing her is giving you a hard time. Any doubt is dispelled when you speak to her again in an unsteady voice.
"What are you doing here, Arizona?"
The time for pleasantries and cloying gestures is over, at least for you: the pain caused by the way she treated you is coming back.
You aren't letting on too much, but I can tell just by looking at your profile, your gaze fixed on her, that it is so... and I realize that the one in front of you is also someone who knows you well, or at least knew you well. Her expression changes, and I can see that my thoughts were right: she understood how you feel and that you haven't forgotten the harm she did to you.
"I'm here for a consultation. I got a call from Bailey. But I don't want to keep you any longer, I'll let you go and enjoy the evening... see you soon! Take care of you, Carina!"
She takes leave, evidently frozen by the climate that had been created. That last wish, however, was really made from the heart. It was impossible not to feel it. You let go my hand and start walking towards the car. I stop you after a few yards, standing in front of you.
"Hey Carina, are you okay?" I ask, as you stay with your head down, deftly fleeing from looking at me, your hair covering most of your face. You're not well. How much must she have hurt you to be able to do that just by seeing her?
"Yeah, I'm sorry, I just wasn't expecting it... and it's been an exhausting day, I'm tired..."
You're crying, and I really don't know what to do to make you feel better. I'm certainly not crazy about the idea that your ex still has so much effect on you, albeit negative.
"Don't worry, let's go home."
With one hand I caress your face, before leaving a tender kiss on your cheek. I take your hand and this time it's me who holds our twined fingers. I'm here for you, Carina. Although, maybe at this very moment I'd like to be punching Arizona in the face, and making her go back to where she came from.
Carina POV
We get in the car and I realize I put a little too much force into closing the door. I look out of the corner of my eye at you, to catch some expression of disappointment about it but nothing. Your face is impassive. And I'm not referring to one of those expressions of impassivity that poorly conceals a hidden annoyance. Simply serene.
I can't figure out what's wrong with me. It was such a crazy situation… to find her in front of me after all this time… the effect this had.
I happened to think about what it might have been like to see her again, but I certainly didn't expect that. The nonchalance with which she greeted me, the cordiality that rarely accompanies the reunion of exes, inconceivable if you think about how we left. Or rather, how she left me here, finished, empty, alone. Simply heartbroken. Perhaps it was her ease that made me most mad, or rather, that hurt me the most.
It was as if she thought that the time elapsed was enough to erase what happened... and I thought it too, but I couldn't be more wrong! Besides, who would want to show her current girlfriend that she's still so fragile for her ex? Not to mention Arizona was as hot as the last time I saw her, if not hotter. Okay, maybe I shouldn't be thinking about that. But, you have to admit, no matter how much a bitch, if there's one thing Arizona's never missed, it's charm.
"Hey, Carina?"
Your question awakens me from all these thoughts. You place your right hand on my leg, while your left arm is outstretched, holding the steering wheel. "Yes, yes, sorry, it's all right" – liar!
"You know, I understand: you didn't expect to see her again in town, it makes sense that you feel a little confused..."
"Well, fortunately I don't think I have to get used to the idea. Did she say she came for a consult? Let's hope she'll hurry up and go back to where the fuck she came from."
I hear myself saying these words and I realize that maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, as you're also thinking, after all. I get it by the look on your face, stunned to hear me utter such a spiteful sentence. I hate the way I'm getting overwhelmed, but Arizona was so much...and so much was the pain she gave me.
Maya POV
I have to admit, I'm a little worried by your reaction. Over time, as our story became more and more serious, I realized how broken you felt after your breakup with Arizona. You hid it well, so it wasn't so easy to catch, not always at least. It's certainly never been as clear as it was today... I thought, however, that the strides we're making, some important ones like moving in together, were also a sign that you had definitely put your relationship and with it your breakup behind you.
I can't help but think of the words I heard you say in your sleep only this morning.
"Arizona, don't leave me..."
It's not jealousy, it's perhaps an even worse feeling... the doubt that maybe I'm not giving you enough.
We get home and while you go shower, I call the restaurant to order dinner. The girl I talk to, after taking note of the order, tells me that she apologizes but it will take about an hour for delivery due to so many orders received. For me, however, it's absolutely perfect, because this gives me enough time to set the mood to make this dinner a little more special, hopefully cheering you up. I set up the coffee table in the living room and spread a couple of soft fleece blankets on the floor.
You love eating sitting on the floor, so you can put yourself in your most comfortable position. I lower the lights slightly, not wanting even the shadow of a candle in my house: I intervened in too many domestic accidents caused by candles accidentally dropped or forgotten on and knowing me I couldn't help thinking about it all the time if I lit them. Everything's ready, so I decide to go over to the door to see if you're still in the shower. I hear the sound of water coming out of the showerhead, so I grab the handle to see if you left the bathroom door open. Yes, bingo!
I open it gently, careful not to make a slight squeak as I enter the bathroom. I take my clothes off and, before I reveal my presence, I see the Bluetooth box that you often use to listen to music while you shower on the shelf next to the sink. It's one of those things that gives you energy, even at the end of the longest and hardest days. I turn it on and I play a song from my phone that I'm sure you'll enjoy before I slide the glass in the shower box and finally catch up with you.
"So one, two, three, take my hand and come with me
Because you look so fine that I really wanna make you mine..."
I hear you laughing when this song starts, and as soon as you turn to me and give me a hug, you notice that I'm lip-synching, with a very convinced expression. Your laughter grows, and I hold you close. Under the warm spray of water, with that smile of yours, I understand that making you happy is priceless.
