Carina POV
"Wow, this surgery has been ..."
"Incredibly innovative? Brilliant? Absolutely cutting-edge?" Arizona asks me, trying to interpret my thoughts.
"...intense. And exhausting. But yes, it has been really amazing", I reply, absolutely amazed by Arizona's technical ability. I knew very well that she could do exceptional things... but this surgery was out of any scheme, and the confidence she had in dealing with every unforeseen event we have encountered. It's extraordinary... the confidence she has, I mean.
Evidently, Herman was right to bet on her for her research centre. I never had the pleasure of working with her, but that woman is a legend: she was really a pioneer in her field, and to be able to complete a study programme like the one made with Arizona and pass on all her knowledge in that short time is something amazing. And if an amazing woman chose her, took her under her wing, that means she saw Arizona could be equally amazing.
"How about we go for a drink, to celebrate?" she asks me, as we finally leave the hospital. I freeze at this simple and spontaneous question. Obviously she notices it immediately.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have… way too soon," she says trying to make up for her gaffe. I think it was an unconditional reflex, like an old habit that resurfaces. I certainly can't blame her for that.
"No, don't worry. It's just that it's late and Maya is waiting for me at home."
And I realize I didn't text her all day: I'm a really bad girlfriend! I take the phone, to try to remedy it, but it's dead.
"Ohh... so you two live together?"
I don't quite understand the tone in which she is asking me this simple question. Is she asking me this just to make conversation, or is she upset? I really don't understand.
So I decide to answer with genuine truth.
"Um, yeah. Not very long, but yes, I moved into her house. We're fine... I'm fine, Arizona. Maya makes me happy."
I feel like I could start to get it all out, to speak without restraint, also accomplice a little bit of tiredness, but this is neither the right place nor the right time to do it.
"I'm happy for you, Carina... honestly! You deserve to be happy…"
I am impressed by her simple but heartfelt words.
"Come on, I'll leave you… I'll see you tomorrow," she says, before turning and starting walking towards her car.
And without even realizing it I say words to her that until a few hours ago I never thought I would say, or at least not right away, not so soon.
"Maybe we'll grab a coffee before shift one of these days"
She pauses, before turning and smiling at me. God, I'd forgotten how beautiful her smile was...
"I'd love to. Night, Carina!" she waved goodbye to me with her hand, before turning away.
Without even realizing it, I drive home. As soon as I park the car, I notice that the lights in the house are off. I look at the clock and realize I'm really late, and tomorrow your shift starts practically at dawn.
I walk into the house, trying not to make any noise, and as soon as I cross the threshold I take off my shoes. I turn on the lights and slowly approach the door to our room: you're already asleep. I close it, to avoid waking you, and go to the kitchen.
I see you left me a note on the table.
- I'm sorry I didn't wait for you, but I have to get up very early tomorrow. I left you something in the fridge if you're hungry. I love you. M. -
As much as midnight snacks are my passion and my hunger doesn't know timetables, I decide to go for a hot drink and then run to bed. I see there's four empty beer bottles by the sink. This is a clear sign that Andy has stopped by... I'm glad, or at least relieved, because it means at least you weren't alone waiting for me to come home. I warmed up some tea and then, holding the steaming cup in my hands, I look at this place, this house... our house.
The tiredness begins to be felt, so I come to our room. I open the door slowly, careful not to make the slightest noise. I start to undress, but I can't take my eyes off you for a second. The blinds let in some reflection of the street lamp light. I see your profile, your body cuddled under the blankets, looking for every ounce of heat they can give it, and I can see your face. Not completely, just barely, but that's enough. Your hand is slightly extended towards my still empty side of the bed. Even in your sleep you seem to be looking for me.
I put my phone on the charger to set the alarm, and as soon as it turns on, I get a message. You must have texted me when you didn't see me coming back at the end of my shift, and you did. But while I'm reading your text, I receive another message, from Arizona.
- It's been nice to be operating together again. And for that coffee, I start at 10:30 tomorrow, and if I'm not mistaken, so are you. So if you want, can we meet one hour before at the bar in front of the hospital? Night. -
I turn to you right after I read it. I need answers from Arizona, answers that will allow me to put everything that was behind me so I can focus on what is now. You... us.
- Perfect. I'll be there. See you tomorrow -
I answer her, before slipping under the covers. Your sleep seems unperturbed, and your face is just inches away from mine. I caress it, hoping this won't wake you up. The temptation was too strong. You move in your sleep, and your arm wraps around me. You're not awake, but you still feel I'm here now.
I know this sounds crazy, but I often stop and watch you sleep. It reminds me of who you are, beyond the tough, unyielding, cocky (not to mention braggart sometimes), stubborn and confident Captain Maya Bishop.
You're so much more than this. You're tender, romantic, loyal, and fragile, Maya. You're a perfectly imperfect combination of aspects that I'm learning to know, and to love. More and more. And I feel so lucky, even though you've put me through a lot and hurt me so bad in the past. I leave you a tender kiss on the lips, almost forgetting you're asleep, and that doing so I might wake you up. And I stay like this, with my hands on your face and my lips just a breath away from yours. I'd want more, and I think my body couldn't resist kissing you again, when I hear your arm hugging me.
"Good morning... or should I say good night?"
You always find a way to make me laugh, that's another reason why I love you.
"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you," I say guiltily.
"You can wake me up in this way any time you want, Carina. Don't apologize," you reply, before kissing me again. And again. And again. You slip your arm under the covers so you can hold me even closer to you. Your kisses, the contact with your body, the way you hold me... I wonder how it's possible that until a second ago you were asleep and now you're so... awake.
You start kissing my neck and in an instant your body is lying on top of mine. My hands caress your arms, I feel your muscles contract as my fingers pass through them. Every movement you make is slow but the way I feel you is strong, forceful. Your mouth starts to descend, leaving a trail of kisses on every inch of skin it finds, that it wants to love. I recognize these gestures, this attitude... and in my mind some of the most beautiful moments we spent together come back like snapshots, until unexpectedly there are other images that I see again in my head.
Like a slow-playing video, my mind shows me now different protagonists, me and Arizona. I dispel those memories with anger: I don't want to see them, least of all now. Now I'm here with you, I love you, and the way I want you is pure, authentic, just like we love each other. My fingers squeeze the sheets when your mouth reaches my most sensitive point.
"Oh, bella"... I sigh. You love it when I call you that. My moans grow, as do your breath on my bare skin. And in an instant the desire rises, until it becomes uncontrollable. I can feel your fingers going inside me as your mouth rises, until your face reaches mine.
I kiss you and feel my taste on your lips. I look at your eyes, so beautiful, deep, crazy in love for me. And you love me... completely.
"I love you, Maya," I whisper, right after I climax.
"I love you too, Carina," you reply, before placing your lips on mine again. You move, to get back on your side of the bed, but I still hold you close. I need you to stay in my arms, so you settle down beside me, your head resting on my chest.
I caress your hair and in a few moments you are asleep again. I don't want to wonder why that memory of me and Arizona came back to my mind, I just want to enjoy the beauty of us. I just hope her stay will be over very soon.
