Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor eat Berry Dotter?

Chapter 10: Ponderings and Rants of the Snape

Severus Snape was angry. No, he was not just angry; he was livid. He hated everything at this moment. He hated this damn world that kept screwing him over. He hated himself for letting it. Most of all he hated her. What had he been thinking? What had gotten into him? He could not let himself be distracted by a pretty face!

He had let himself be distracted. He cursed himself for it. He needed to know what was in that memory, but no, she had to kiss him. Kiss him, of all things! Now he was royally screwed. Voldemort would be furious that he didn't manage to get any useful information out of her. He hoped that he wouldn't find out the reason why.

Snape was sure that Draco wouldn't betray him, but Wormtail would. He was sure Wormtail hadn't seen the incident, but that did not mean he didn't know about it. Oddly enough, for a sniveling rat, he could be very perceptive.

Snape was at loss. He wasn't sure what to do. He paced his room, kicking everything in sight.

Perhaps, just perhaps, he could fabricate a memory. It had to be possible. Memories were one of the most manipulable substances. He just had to figure out that correct way to go about it. He had to do the practically impossible. He had to dupe the Dark Lord.

That would take care of one problem, but he had many more he had to face. Snape had needed to know what was in that memory for his own sake. He needed to know what that damned Order was up to. It was imperative.

Next, he had to figure out what he was going to do with the brat; Draco, to be specific. He was not cut out for this. Draco would probably end up getting himself killed. And taking me with him, mused Snape. Then again, if he did send Draco away, Voldemort would suspect something and kill them both anyway. Snape shook his head; damned if he did, damned if he didn't, the marvelous way the world works.

One of his other considerable problems was what to do with her. He could always just kill her, but that would not sit very well with either Voldemort or the Order. He also had a sneaking suspicion that Draco had grown fond of her. Perhaps he could have Wormtail kill her while he went to a meeting. That may free him from the finger and Wormtail would be killed by Voldemort. That plan was a win-win, if it was done right. But, no, it was too risky.

He really did hate her. He always had. He hated her animated personality, her lack of subtly and her hopeless inelegance. He hated juvenile, ridiculous quips. He hated her loyalty to the Order and her optimism. Most of all he hated how he felt compelled towards her.

Again, there was always killing her.

He could just wait for Voldemort's plan to come through. Then he could get rid of her without angering Voldemort. Furthermore, it would look like he had killed Harry Potter as well. Two for the price of one. Yet, then Voldemort may take over the world and who knows what might happen then. The idiot had no idea what he was truly doing.

Well, he was actually not an idiot. Voldemort was one of the most intelligent and cunning wizards of all time. Nevertheless, he was mad and somewhat foolish. He was perceptive enough to see that Harry Potter was and would continue to be threat, even at a young age, but he was too self-assured. He lacked the ability to see the strength of the things he did not understand. Love for instance, he could not understand, which was to his fault.

It was not that Voldemort had to become a lovesick lunatic to become all-powerful. Snape even had trouble in understanding love. It was a useless measure that could cause great amounts of damage. Ensnare the senses and boggle the mind; it should be made illegal. Yet, Snape did understand that one should not under-estimate it. It just should be avoided at all costs, for at least the sake of one's stomach.

Voldemort's plan was especially flawed. Yes, to break the world's hope would do a lot of good, but he did not realize that some of these people were not easily broken. It came back to Nymphadora Tonks. Her and her type would not give up hope and the loss of Potter would probably their resistance.

The Order was a lot different than the Death Eaters. Many of Voldemort followers had come out of fear, hunger of power, or both. There was only a scarce few that were truly loyal to Voldemort himself, or his cause. Most were only loyal to his power. Snape remembered when Wormtail had first met Voldemort. He had been there; Wormtail had wet himself from fright. Tonks, on the other hand, had met Voldemort unflinchingly, with composure, along with a few taunts. For this he respected her; not many in her situation could have done as well. The Order of the Phoenix, that disgusting collection of people, was better than the Death Eaters. The Order had loyalty, not only to a cause, but also to each other. It was easily a strength, but it could just as easily become their downfall.

The complexities of this war were endless, but it only came down to one thing: who would he rather have ultimate power over the world? Would he rather have the people who were sick enough to like sunshine and bunnies, or the people who enjoyed darkness and power? For Snape, it was an easy question to answer, at least if you took away the complications.

Snape looked down at the hole he had just kicked in the wall. He took out his wand to fix it, as well as the dents he had put in his door and the broken glass on his floor. He thought and his expression hardened once again.

Damn them all, good and bad alike, and reap the profits in the end.

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A/N: I am quite sorry for the delay. I have good excuses though. I know this chapter doesn't have much in the way of plot development, but I wanted to write something from Snape's view. As always, thank you to everyone for reading and everyone for reviewing!

---Perplexity

P.S.

Possum132: Did he kill his father? We will just have to see about that.

Red-Devil15:"'oh-i'm-evil-and-now-i'm-not-but-now-i-am'", Well, again we will just have to see, although I can assure you that Snape will not go sunshine and daisies on you.

Quaffle Chaser: I am glad you like my writing style. The only problem is that everythign I write ends up being rather short. When I look at other authors (Tolkien, etc.) and they seem to be able to stretch things out. I can never do that. It is probably for the better though, I like my writing better when it is to the point.