Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor eat Fairy with Otter.
Quick Warning: This chapter has a bit more and stronger profanity. I, in no way, endorce the use of foul language. If you are offended by many four letter words of such ilk, please do not read the last word of this chapter. Thank you for your time and cooperation.
Chapter 12: Absolutely Smashed
He sat quietly at a table looking over the Daily Prophet. Sunlight streamed in from the window in the kitchen. Morning was there, bright and cheerful. A small grin spread across his face as a woman with blue hair and vibrant purple eyes walked in.
The woman sat down across from him, returning his grin. They engaged in small talk for a few minutes, but they both had an unmistakable glow about them and neither could suppress their smiles. He then got up and kissed the woman. He pulled a small red box out of his pocket and sank down upon one knee. Just as he did so, the man woke up in a cold sweat.
Severus Snape woke up from the worst nightmare of his life. He felt sick. He wanted to puke. It was the most disgusting thing he had ever witnessed and that was counting the time that he had caught Filch and Umbridge playing strip-wizard's chess. That had been disturbing to say the least, but this was traumatizing.
It was bad enough that she had to haunt him during the day, but it was taking it too far that she invaded his dreams at night. Damned woman.
Snape sat up and swung his feet onto the floor. He leaned over with his head in his hands, his elbows digging into his thighs. He hated her. He hated how she had gotten the best of him, how she had made him look like a fool in front of Lucius Malfoy, who he hated with a passion. He hate how, despite his hatred for her, he wanted to strangle Gliffton for putting his hands on her.
He got up suddenly and pulled on his robes. It was not even starting to get light yet, but he tramped down to the kitchen. He needed a drink.
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Tonks grumbled as she was awakened by explosive yelling. He chair began to shake as the yelling got louder and vulgar crashes came from the kitchen. She turned to see Draco running out of the kitchen.
"What's going on?" said Tonks, yawning.
"He's gone absolutely mad. He seems dead set on destroying everything in the kitchen," answered Draco, with a slightly worried expression. Tonks looked around curiously to hear a loud bang and see Wormtail running out of the kitchen, looking scared to death.
Tonks was a little bit worried herself. She braced herself as there was another bang and Severus Snape stomped out of the kitchen.
"Damn you all!" he shouted. Then he let loose a string of blaring, raucous vulgarities. Draco and Wormtail looked terrified as Snape blew-up a stack of books in the corner. Tonks merely looked Snape over carefully and then started laughing.
Everyone looked at her, surprised. Draco nudged her. "What the hell are you laughing at? He has gone mad and is probably going to blow us all to pieces!"
Tonks snorted. "He hasn't gone mad. He is just pissed off his ass."
Draco gave Snape an appraising look. "Your right," he said as Snape blew a hole in the couch. "He is pissed."
"I am not 'pissed off my ass.' I do not even have a donkey to piss on, thank you! Draco! Clean up this mess!" barked Snape.
Draco gave a disdainful look towards Snape. "Wormtail can do it," he said coolly.
Snape turned and stared at Draco menacingly. "Fifty points from Gryffindor, Mr. Malfoy. I will not be argued with!"
"I am in Slytherin, sir. And we are not in—"
"That is two hundred points then, from Gryffindor, Mr. Malfoy. I will take none of your cheek!"
Tonks started laughing hysterically. She had never seen Snape like this. He had never been one to stay for the Order parties. Snape looked at her murderously. Wormtail and Draco had taken this as their opportunity to sneak upstairs, leaving Tonks on her own. She knew exactly what she could do with this opening.
Snape turned on her. "What are you bloody laughing at, woman?"
Tonks just smirked at him. "Why don't you come her and I'll show you?" Tonks really had no clue what she was doing. She had never seduced anyone before. She normally tried to avoid being in such situations. She just had to wing it. "Take me you sexy beast." She cringed. That was probably the most sickening thing she had ever said.
"Damn you! You think you can just march in here and take over a man's head? You are just an inane child! You know nothing! You are foul and repulsive! Pink, I say! Pink! It is the most disgusting thing! But, no, I am sure Lupin likes it just fine. Bloody werewolf. Gets everything he doesn't deserve. People hold him in high regard, but he has anyways been a useless menace. People have compassion for him, feel sorry for him, but he knows nothing of real pain! Jobs he doesn't deserve. Love of—" Snape broke off.
Tonks was not sure what to think of this. She stared at Snape, confused.
"And then," he started again. "There are Harry Puking Prat Potter and his band of misfitted toys. What the hell is that? He thinks he is so great, just like James Prancing Pompous Potter. You would think the two were related! Just like those brainless people. They call themselves the 'Order of the Phoenix.' That's just plain stupid. Then again so is the name 'Death Eaters.' What damned dim-wit came up that name?"
Tonks start to laugh once more. She really couldn't help it. Even his murderous stare mad her laugh.
"Oh you laugh? Hell, laugh all you want because you will probably be dead in less than a week. Then I'll bloody be rid of you. I am going to rid myself of all you crackpot bats! I rid myself of my father, the bastard. I rid myself of that meddling fool, Dumbledore. Next, I will rid myself of you. You and you seductive ways! Well, I will tell you one thing. I will not let you seduce me. No, no you won't. It does not matter how beautiful you are, no. You sicken me! Just go away and relieve us all of your disgustingness and your stupidity!"
Snape was now leaning over her, staring her down. Tonks could taste the alcohol on his breath; it was elven wine from what she could tell. An odd feeling ran down her spine, as if she ached to lean up and kiss him. She really wished these disturbing thoughts would go away.
Snape's eyes softened at that moment. Tonks looked at him curiously, fifty percent scared that he was going to kill her and forty-five percent worried about her own mental state. Of the other five percent, four was wanting to wash Snape's hair and then snog him and one was pondering the philosophical messages that were hidden in the book The Tales of Peter the Peptic Ulcer.
He leaned down farther and captured her lips. It was tender and sweet. Tonks was shocked about that part. The thought of Snape being tender and sweet was slightly disconcerting.
After a minute, he broke off with fear in his eyes. As he backed away from her, the fear turned into anger.
"Fuck!"
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A/N: Well, it didn't take me so long to post that chapter. I don't know why, but I thought it would be fun to see Snape intoxicated and raving. As always thank you all for reading and an extra special thank you to those who have reviewed. Your reviews are like little pieces of sunshine that brighten my day!
Thank you.
---Perplexity
PS:
WAYAMY27NARF: I would say definately the "1970's-super-cheesy-bow-chicka-bow-bow-music." I could pictue Tonks seducing Snape to anything else. Also, I had not thought of Snape using Legimancy (or however you spell it) in that scene. I suppose they may of had to be in the same room for it to work. Finally, I quite agree, Hemmingway is numbingly boring!
Quaffle Chaser: I don't mind you pointing out my gramatical mistakes at all.In fact I appriciate it.I haven't gotten around to fixing the already submitted chapters, but I always try to be a stickler for grammer. I don't always succeed, though, but I try. Also, I have always wanted to read A Tale of Two Cities. I have read parts, seen some of the movie and performed part of the play, but I have never read the whole thing.
