Chapter 3: Move Along

"Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold"

Stella woke up at six-thirty, the time her alarm usually went off, and found a sleeping Mac on top of her. Wondering why he hadn't gotten up yet if he had to work, she tries to slide out from under him for she was getting kind of squished. Unfortunately Mac was too heavy so she couldn't move. "Mac?" she said, shaking him gently. "Mac, you're going to be late for work."

"No, I still had half an hour to sleep," he mumbles looking at the clock. "Why do you get up so early?"

"It takes a while to do my hair and put on make-up."

"Your hair isn't naturally curly?"

"It is, but I have to wash and dry it every morning," she laughs.

"And you wear make-up because…? You look beautiful without it, Stel," he smiles and pushes her back onto the bed. "It's your day off."

"I still have to go to the counselor today. What's wrong with you, Mac?" Stella asks grinning.

"I decided it was not worth living if I'm still grieving Claire after five years. I'm back, Stella. The old me you keep asking about," he kisses the cut again.

"I'll make breakfast while you get ready for work. Oh, and welcome back, Mac," she kisses his cheek leaving him longing for her on the bed.

Mac walks into the kitchen twenty minutes later to find pancakes ready for him to eat. "Thanks, Stel, care to join me?" he notices the table only has one place set.

"No, I'm still not sure I can eat. I'll grab something before we leave," she heads to the bathroom.

"We?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'll drop you off at the lab, then go to the department."

"Lunch today after your appointment?"

"Okay, if you don't mind I think I might come back to work this afternoon. We can go from there," she closes the door.

"If you're sure you're ready," he calls.


"Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along"

"So, how did your psychologist session or whatever you want to call it go?" Mac asks after they ordered their drinks.

"Okay. He said that maybe it is best for me to go back to work. I need the schedule and organization to keep my mind off Frankie and what could have happened. I went through a lot, and as you said I did what I had to. Anyone else in my position would have done something similar. Basically the same things you told me last night," Stella explains. "Except when I cried he just offered me a box of tissues, didn't really comfort me like you did."

"If you think you're ready, you can come back; we're doing fine without you so don't feel like you have to come back right away. It does feel kind of off without you there, everyone hoped you were doing okay and said to call if you needed anything. Lindsay said you can stay with her if you felt uncomfortable with me and didn't want to go home or if you just needed to talk to another woman," Stella smiles as he said this. The waitress came back with their drinks and got their orders.

"I'll just have a salad," Stella said.

"Spaghetti," Mac said. The waitress went to place their orders, "You still not able to eat?'

"I don't know, but so I don't get sick if something comes up at work, looking at dead people might not agree with my stomach," she smirked as he stares at her scarred hands.

"You're working with me for now, and you can guarantee to be sent home if that happens. You need some protein, Stel," he teased.

"We'll stop at the grocery on the way to the lab and get a jar of peanut butter."

"I need to ask you something, Stella, is everything you say in your sleep true?" Mac asked, and she frowned.

"I don't know, what did I say?" Stella asked blushing, embarrassed.


"So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold"

"The second time I had to wake you last night, on my couch when you fell off, I said your name, then you started to shout to me like I was in your dream. You told Frankie don't kill me because you loved me," Mac recalled.

"Um, so apparently when you called to me I thought it was you in my dream. Frankie came after me because I killed him, when I yelled to you for help he said he was going to kill you. I had no idea what I said in the dream and what I said in my sleep," Stella explains.

"Is it true? Do you love me?"

Stella breaks eye contact with him and sits for a couple minutes without answering. "When we first met and started working together I knew you were engaged to Claire, but I instantly fell in love with you. After nine eleven, I thought I could finally tell you, but you spent years grieving for Claire. I started giving you little hints towards how I felt about you. When you went out with Rose I was torn between happiness and jealousy. I wanted to be with you, I started going out with Frankie, then this happened, and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to love again," Stella's eyes tear up, "I'm sorry if I just ruined our friendship, Mac, it's my fault."

"No, Stel, it isn't."


"Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Go on, go on, go on, go on"

"If it's anyone's fault, it's mine, I suppose I have loved you too since we met. But after Claire past, and you started helping me I loved you as more than a friend. The night I realized it I should have said something to you, I knew I wanted to move on with you," Mac grabbed her hand across the table. He put his other hand under her chin, lifting it so she would look at him. "If I had, none of this…with Frankie would have happened. I can't help but blame myself; you should have never had to have gone through all of this. When we found you unconscious I wanted to tell you, and ever since then. Last night when I heard you say what you did, it just amazed me that after all that you still loved me. In bed last night it just felt so right with you beside me; actually I told you I loved you last night after you had fallen asleep again, then I kissed your scar like I did this morning. I love you too, Stella, I want to be with you," Mac says, watching her eyes start to shine again with amazement.

"What are we going to do? I mean I love you, and I trust you with my life. The day you intentionally did something to hurt me is the day the world would end. I want to be with you so badly, but it doesn't seem right to do so soon," she says sadly.

"Why don't we try and deal with everything as it comes? We talk and can sense when the other is uncomfortable. Stella, we love each other, we'll make this work. I don't mind waiting if I have to."

Stella gives him an evil grin before leaning over the table to kiss him. "Not at work," she whispered, breaking the kiss. Mac nodded in agreement. "Get me caught up on the case."

"We have a homicide; the vic was raped, then strangled to death, possibly with a rope of some kind. Only suspect is a friend; DNA test wasn't complete when I left."


"When everything is wrong, we move along
Go on, go on, go on, go on
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along"

"I never doubted your performance, Stella. You needed to talk to someone, a professional, before coming back," Mac says as they walk in the lab together.

"If this case doesn't have anything to do with guns or knives or domestic violence then it's not going to bother me," she insisted, the jar of peanut butter he insisted she eat in hand.

"But the next case might."

"Stella, why are you here? You can't be coming back to work already," Lindsay said, hugging her.

"I am, Mac wants me to work with him for a while. I couldn't just sit around all day and think about it," Stella smiles.

"Hey, Stel, I thought Mac said you were taking a few days off?" Danny called from across the lab.

"Not even Mac could keep me away, you know me, Danny," he hugged her cautiously, afraid she might fall apart.

"Hanging in there? Glad to see you back. What's the peanut butter for?" Hawkes came up from behind, "I see Mac's taking care of you."

"Yeah, he's making me eat the peanut butter so I have some protein. To be honest he helped me more than the psychologist did today," Stella smiles at Mac softly.

"You miss us, Bonasera?" Flack jokes, seeing the team gathered around her.

"No, I had to come back."

"Okay, party's over, everyone back to work," Mac says, his hand gently leading her away.

"Oh, before I forget, thank you all for helping me and offering me a place to stay, I appreciate it," Stella calls back to them.

"Okay, we need to go question someone, but first you need to get your gun back," he pulled it out of his desk drawer. Stella took it timidly as Sid enters.

"Hey, the DNA was a match to the friend from the rape kit. You've got one good aim there, Stella, Mac's lucky to have you as his partner," he says to her, causing Stella to smile mischievously at Mac.


"When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through"

"My husband…beat me, I'm sorry he's dead, but to be honest I don't miss him," the wife of the victim says. Stella flinches, still uncomfortable with what Frankie did. A week after coming back to work her mind couldn't seem to cooperate on DV cases the same as before. Stella couldn't help but remember what Mac said to Laura Jeffries. "You pulled the trigger once, I bet you had no trouble doing it the second time." His voice haunted her like Frankie's "I'll teach you a thing or two about crime scenes."

"We're going to have to swab your hands for gun shot residue to rule you out as a suspect," Stella said. Hawkes, sitting beside her, test the woman's hands. "You're free to go, we'll contact you when we know more," she said when nothing comes up with the GSR test.

"You alright, Stel?"

"Yeah, why don't you go print the gun? I'll meet you in there in a few minutes, I have to talk to Mac first," she stands.

"Okay, I'll run any prints and the serial number."

Stella was so busy trying to figure out a way to talk to Mac about what was bothering her she wasn't watching where she was going. With a thud Stella landed on top of Mac on the floor of the lab. "Sorry, Mac, I need to talk to you, maybe we should go to your office." He stands up and offers her a hand, which she takes. Then he leads her in the opposite direction he was headed a minute ago.

"Okay, Stel, what do you need to talk about?" Mac asks inside his office doors.


"When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through"
Go on, go on, go on, go on
Right back what is wrong
We move along"

A/N: "Move Along" All American Rejects. Thanks again to Pandy Roxy Chick for betaing(?).