Disclaimer: I own Tracie. I do not own the song So Far Away by STAIND.
Chapter 2
Casey twisted the soda cap back onto her Dr. Pepper and set it on the desk in front of her. She was eighteen working a desk job in New York City. What could be better right? Sighing she pulled her hair back into a ponytail, brushing it away from her face and keeping it away was something that calmed her for some reason. With that out of the way she opened the file she was supposed to be reading on her computer.
-This is my life, it's not what it was before-
Sighing Casey shut her eyes tight, squeezing her hands into fists, willing the tears not to come out of her eyes. She couldn't take it. Derek was comsuming her everyday thoughts now. She'd grown somewhat accustomed to the fact that Derek was barely a part of her life, a blip in her day, the father of her child which lived solely with him so she could continue her schooling. Casey had always wondered what it was that made Derek give up his Fraternity Dreams. Shaking her head she stood up and grabbed her Dr. Pepper and purse, she had to get out of there. There was nothing that could be done at work today, she decided, nothing that could be concentrated on correctly. All she could see, think or feel was Derek Venturi. Why?
-All these feelings I've shared, and these are my dreams that I'd never lived before.-
The rain poured down on Casey as she ran to her car, hopping in and starting it, turning the heater to full blast. Shaking the rain from her head she pressed her forhead into the steering wheel. click. She locked her cars doors and drove away after a moment of silence save the pitter patter of the rain. Where could she go? After that kiss...it'd felt like she'd been asleep for three years. It'd felt like nothing else mattered anymore, like someone was waking her up and that's when she realized that she had been asleep.
-Somebody shake me, Cause I, I must be sleeping.-
Casey slammed on her breaks and swerved her car to the right, headed towards the bridge. She had to get to Jersey...to Derek. Why the two had chosen to move into such close proximity of each other in America rather than Canada she'd never know. All she knew was that there was something that Derek needed to say to her. Something he felt that needed to be put into words and at this point she was sure she wouldn't be able to do anything or think of anything else until she heard it.
The bridge was closed. Due to the pouring rain. "Shit." She said to herself, turning her car around heading towards her apartment. What else could she do? There was nothing else she could do until the rain stopped. Which should be soon, but being in New York Casey had no idea how long it'd be. "Derek, why these secrets?" She begged inside as the tears again welled up in her throat and eyes as she headed up the stairs to her two bedroom, one bathroom apartment, barely making it inside. "What are you hiding? Why can't you tell me how you feel?" Casey pleaded in her head, locking the door and collapsing on her couch. Her head was pounding and it felt as if the walls were closing in. Why? Why? Why? Her lips burned, what was this affect Derek was having on her? Her eyes closed, darkness overwhelmed her. Too much.
-Now that we're here so far away, all the struggle we thought was in vain, all the mistakes, one life contained-
Derek squeezed the steering wheel, checking on Tracie in her car seat from the rear view mirror. She and her barbie's were very happy in the backseat. Unlike Derek who was sitting in the front seat holding back tears. He was man, he didnt' want to cry.Not in front of his baby girl. Not in front of anyone, unless that anyone happened to be Casey. Shaking his head he concentrated on the bridge in front of him. By the time they'd closed it he'd been on it already, he wasn't about to let them tell him to turn around. He'd finally gotten his ass out of the hosue to tell Casey MacDonald something, he couldn't back down now. If he did he was sure he would never get this shot again.
-They all finally started to go away, now that we're here it's so far away, and I feel like I can face the day.-
Reaching the end of the bridge he asked Tracie for exact directions to her mommy's house. Tracie, being sheer direction genius that she was, pointed him right to it.
"Daddy! That's Krissy, can I go play with her?" Tracie begged. Derek looked at his little girl, so much him in her, so much Casey. you could tell that she was their daughter. Smiling at her he knew he was going to let her. He knew he would want the moments with casey alone, he'd finally found a way to forgive himself for being the lousy person he'd been. Now he had to find a way to say that to Casey, but more importantly he needed to find a way to say the three words she needed to hear the most.
"Go ahead Tracie, but be careful. I have to talk to mommy and I'll be back." He said to his daughter, unbuckling her and setting her on the ground seconds before she jetted towards the play ground where a little girl and her mom were playing. Derek walked over and shook the woman's hand. "Derek Venturi," He said smiling. Not letting his weakness or sadness show. The mom, who he later found out was Diane, was watching him with a grin on her face. "Do you mind keeping an eye on her while I run and talk to Casey?" He asked. She smiled and assured him it was no problem, her apartment was 402 just a few doors from the playground. He nodded. "Tracie put your hood on right now" He called to his daughter, on a playground in the rain. And he thought he was crazy. He headed towards Casey's apartment.
-I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today.-
The stairs to her apartment were high and hard to climb, or so Derek thought. Why couldn't she have an indoor elevator apartment complex like he did? He laughed at the thought. Because as he saw the door looming ahead of him he knew this was a Casey kind of place. It wasn't organized and well kept, but it was a homey place and Derek could feel it. Almost as strongly as he felt her. Raising his hand to the door he brought his hand back to knock. Then dropped his hand, bringing both to his head and rubbing his hair and the nape of his neck.
"What am I doing?" He thought to himself. "This is insane. What am I going to say? I don't even know what to say!" Derek's thoughts were bouncing around in his head so loudly he didn't seem to notice the door in front of him open to a very surprised Casey, holding her purse and keys.
-These are my words, that I've never said before. I think I'm doing ok. And this is the smile that I've never shown before.-
Casey smiled at Derek weakly, she could feel her knees buckling as he gave her a small smile she'd never really seen. It amazed her that after all the things that had changed their lives so many times that he still had something new up his sleeve each time she saw him. "Hi Derek, I ummm I was just..." He put his fingers to her lips. What was there to say that she needed to? She'd always said it.
-Somebody shake me, Cause I, I must be sleeping.-
"Case there's so many things I've left unsaid the three years we've known each other. So many thoughts and feelings and words I wanted to tell you...but I never knew how." She stared at him, her mouth opening again before his eyes locked with hers. Causing her to lose all thought of what she could possibly say to him."I'm herre to tell you Case...that when I kissed you today...I felt it...from you for the first time in years...and I think you felt it to." Casey broke the gaze and looked at her feet.
"I did..." She said in a barely audible voice, yet he still heard her. He smiled slowly, she didn't see his smile.
"I hope so..." She looked up, tears coming from her eyes, leaving trails across her dry cheeks. He brought his thumb up and whiped a tear away.
-Now that we're here, so far away. All the struggle we thought was in vain. All the mistakes, one life contained.-
"Derek what is it that you're here to do except say what you've already said?" Casey choked, unsure of how to word her question. Unsure if she wanted an answer. Positive she wanted him to stay. Her throat hurt from controlling the sobs she wanted to escape so badly.
"I want you Casey...I want you to love me, I want you know..." His hand rested on her cheek and neck, their faces inches apart. "That I love you." He whispered. She gasped.
-They all finally start to go away, now that we're here it's so far away. And I feel like I can face the day. I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person I am today.-
Taking his other hand Derek placed it on the small of her back, pulling her so close to him she could feel his breath against hers. Their eyes never leaving each other. -I'm so afraid of waking.- Derek's lips met Casey's, the sparks flying. The kiss deepening, Caseys' arms finding his neck. -Please don't shake me.- Casey could taste both their tears in the kiss, Derek could only sense Casey's need and want for him. Her love and His love. -Afraid of waking- Derek's hand left Casey's face and also closed around her waist, pulling her in as close as she could get. The kiss still lasting. Their breath still holding. -Please don't shake me.-
The two broke apart, their lips on fire from the passion of their kiss. His arms still around her waist, her hands on his chest. He'd said it. He'd told her. He'd announced it to her for the first time in three years. The heat and passion wasn't all they had, they had love that not many knew in real life. She smiled, biting her bottom lip. Unsure of how to say that she loved him back when he'd never listened before.
"I love you Derek Venturi." She said slow and quiet, letting it out before pressing her lips against his again.Derek smiled against her lips, the kiss holding so much more than a simple kiss for the two."And I always will." Casey finished as they broke the kiss. He winked at her and she lightly smacked him. There was so much they'd missed because of his fear. But then again they'd made it hadn't they? They had come so far from where they'd started. Two fifteen year olds forced under the same roof.
"Casey MacDonald...will you marry me?" He whispered in her ear, kissing her shoulder lightly, sending shivers through her spine.
"I will." She said simply as their lips met again. It'd taken three years. What was next?
-Now that we're here, so far away. All the struggle we thought was in vain, all the mistakes, one life contained. They all finally start to go away. Now that we're here so far away, and I feel like I can face the day.-
-I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person I am today.-
tbc
