Sorry it took so long to update, but things have been really crazy lately. Hopefully I'll be able to put up the next couple of chapters fairly soon, and figure out where this story is going. (And they're still not mine.)

Boss Hogg and Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane watched as another young man signed his name to the sheet tacked onto the wall. Boss had to admit, it was filling faster than he had expected it would. But then, maybe it didn't hurt that Daisy Duke was helping promote the event. When Lulu had proposed her plan for a bachelor auction to him, he'd nearly laughed in her face at the absurdity of it. The fact that she'd gotten the idea from some big-city entertainment column didn't exactly win him over, either. But Lulu wouldn't take no for an answer and Boss wanted to please her, if only for his own emotional well-being.

"Say, Rosco, let's go take a look at who we got signed up here," he said to the sheriff, who was hovering at his side. Boss took one look at the sign-up sheet and a couple names in particular jumped out at him…

"Oh, no!" Boss wailed, slapping a hand to his forehead.

Rosco was at his side in an instant. "What's wrong, Boss? Your head hurtin' or somethin'?" He tried to check Boss Hogg for injury but Boss pushed him away impatiently.

"No, but your brain musta got broke. I heard it rattlin' around in your thick skull!" He jabbed a stubby finger in the sign-up sheet's direction. "Looky there who's signed up first!"

Rosco stepped closer and examined the sheet. "Bo, Luke, and Jesse Duke," he answered matter-of-factly, then caught sight of the next name under theirs. "And that dipstick deputy of mine stuck his name on there too! I tell you what, Boss, him tryin' to sneak a day off like that--"

"Never mind Deputy Enos right now, lamebrain,"Boss Hogg interrupted, dismissing Rosco's outrage as trivial. "Them Dukes is what I'm worried about!"

"Why?" Rosco asked, confusion replacing ire in his tone. "It ain't like you're plannin' nothin'," he pointed out.

"Let's just say I'd like to keep out the riff-raff," Boss answered, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"That mean you ain't goin'?" a familiar, unwelcome voice said behind him.

Boss and Rosco spun around to see Bo, Luke and Jesse standing there. "Say, Rosco, you signin' up or something?" Bo asked casually, leaning up against the bar.

"Are you kiddin' me?" Rosco sputtered indignantly. "I ain't got time to just lollygag. With Enos fritterin' his time away on this, all the police work of Hazzard is gonna be pushed on me!"

"Speaking of police work, ain't it time you went and did some?" Boss interjected, cutting Rosco's tirade short.

The sheriff glared at Boss Hogg. "I'm gone! Fat little meadow muffin…Workin' my fingers to the bone, and do I get any time off or…"Rosco muttered as he stalked away to go back on duty.

The Dukes watched him go. "I pity the people of Hazzard, without Enos out there to keep him semi-honest," Luke commented.

"Yeah, but at least the girls of Hazzard is safe," Bo added with a laugh.

"Aw, come on, Bo. Give Rosco a break. Flash likes him, and she's a girl," Luke pointed out, speaking about the sheriff's basset hound. A grinning Bo conceded the point as they stepped over by Boss Hogg to view the sign-up sheet for themselves, trying to learn the particulars of what Daisy had gotten them into.

"I hope Miz Tisdale ain't seen Uncle Jesse's name on this thing," Bo said quietly, just out of their uncle's earshot. "She'd probably break the bank tryin' to outbid all them other ladies."

Luke's lips twitched upwards in response. "Heck, she'd probably rob the bank if she thought she had to, to get Uncle Jesse," he answered jokingly.

Them boys was only kidding, of course, but their words fell on Boss Hogg's fat little ears like a Waylon Jennings hit. While he was trying to put the Duke boys' words to more practical use, who should bust through the doors of the Boars Nest but Lulu Hogg herself.

"Chickabiddy!" she called, striding towards her husband after spotting him by the sign-up sheet. "How many we got signed up?" she asked him curiously.

"See for yourself, my little pork chop," he said unenthusiastically as Bo and Luke stepped back to make room for her.

"Oh, look at all the names!" she cried in delight. "This'll make a ton of money for the orphanage!" Lulu turned until she was facing Jesse and the boys. "And I got you Dukes to thank for it!"

"Us?" Jesse and his nephews all asked in confusion.

"Them?" Boss Hogg also asked, equally surprised, and not at all happy.

"I cain't thank y'all enough for signin' up first and settin' such a good example for all the other menfolk in Hazzard! Especially you, Jesse Duke, your signin' up influenced all the older fellas who thought this event was just for the younger folk. Between the three of you, ya got 'most every unattached fella in town to consider signin' up! Thank you!" Lulu looked like she was ready to grab all three Dukes up in a huge bear hug.

Friends and neighbors, I think that could just about kill a man. Lulu Hogg's a powerful lot of woman.

"Well…" Jesse Duke began uncomfortably, "it wasn't us exactly that signed up. Daisy's the one put our names down," he said, not wanting to take credit where it wasn't due. He added quickly, "Not that we ain't willin' to help out or anything. We's happy to do our part, Lulu."

Lulu dismissed his explanation excitedly. "That just means I got Daisy to thank too, instead of just you fellas. Now, I gotta run. I got so many things to get ready! J.D., you can handle that list I gave you to take care of, cain't you?" She had turned to speak the last part to Boss Hogg.

"Don't worry, sugarpie, I'll get Rosco right on it."

"J.D. Hogg!" The shout shook the rafters of the Boars Nest, causing heads to turn their direction. "You was supposed to take care of--"

At this point, Jesse began herding his nephews towards the exit. "No sense us getting'in the middle of their little argument," he explained, his eyes twinkling. "Don't want you two boys exposed to that kind of violence."

Uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke were all laughing as they reached Jesse's white pick-up truck and the boys' General Lee.