Usual Disclaimer: Unfortunately this world and its wonderful inhabitants do not belong to me, they belong to J. K. Rowling, I'm just borrowing them. I am making no money from this it is purely for the enjoyment of those few who choose to read it. Thanks J. K. for lending me your ready made world of magic.
A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed, namely: Leaky Cauldron anno1985, Laura, Snakeyes, bastian blair, Raven, BabyJane, Malfoy snogger(You'll just have to wait and see!), tamachan444, Siriusly Black2, and moonstardust
I can honestly say that you're reviews were among the nicest I have received yet and you all deserve a hug so have telepathic one on me! (I know, I'm not normal but anyway...)
And also - another plea for anyone who's interested to check out yet another one shot that I have posted along with this chapter. I got such a great response from the last one, I hope this one does similar (although the subject matter is a bit different - including a party and a snogaholic Harry...). R&R please!
Extra Disclaimer: The lyrics below do not belong to me, they belong to Savage Garden.
"Maybe it's intuition, but some things you just don't question,
Like in your eyes I see my future in an instant, there it goes.
I think I found my best friend.
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but I believe,
I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life.
There's just no rhyme or reason, only this sense of completion,
and in your eyes, I see the missing pieces I'm searching for."
Chapter 15 - Arrivals and Insecurities
"Five days." Draco murmured as he and Harry lounged lazily together in an armchair in the Den, Harry in Draco's lap. "Five days left together."
"It won't be that bad." Harry murmured reassuringly in response.
"We won't be able to sit like this." Draco murmured, his mouth close to Harry's ear, his fingers stroking Harry's neck.
Harry smiled at this; he felt exactly the same way. It would be the simple pleasures that would be hardest to give up. The simple pleasure of light kisses and touches, sitting together, holding hands and hugging were what made the relationship so good. There was no pressure for anything more between them, they were content just to be with one another and Harry could never have imagined feeling like this before the summer, with anyone. This contentment in each other's presence was reassuring. Offering Harry concrete evidence that this wasn't a summer fling. For if that were the case, it would be purely sexual. Wouldn't it?
"What's wrong?" Draco asked, sensing Harry's wavering insecurity.
"Nothing... just my stupid brain telling me to be insecure when I know I shouldn't be."
Harry turned his head slightly to look into endless pools of silver. Draco took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly, kissing him softly and intimately, quashing all the insecurity Harry had been feeling.
"Better?"
"Much." Harry sighed as he resettled himself in Draco's lap, resting his head at Draco's neck. Harry felt strange. His heart told him to say the words. The words which ultimately bind a couple together but his head screamed at him in fear of a rejection he knew he would not be able to handle.
Draco's arms tightened around Harry as he once again sensed insecurity in him.
"Dray..." He began so quietly that he was barely audible.
"I'm listening Harry." Draco squeezed his hand again. Neither knew it but both had their eyes closed in nervous anticipation of what both knew would come next.
Harry felt nauseous, scared and vulnerable as, for the first time in his life, he opened his heart and bared his soul. "I love you." He squeezed his eyes tight shut, waiting in fear of what the response would be. The outburst he half expected never came. Instead, he felt a pair of soft familiar lips on his forehead and heard a soft voice full of emotion whisper what he longed to hear. "I love you too, Harry."
Needless to say Harry and Draco made full use of their remaining time together. They read together, sifted through memories in the pensieve together, watched movies and television together, ate together, sat together, showered together, slept together and as they day approached when they would be joined by Ron, Hermione and Ginny, both were flooded by the feelings they had pushed away for so long.
They would have to hide it from them. Harry felt guilty just thinking about hiding the one thing that had made him the happiest he had ever been in his life from his best friends. They wouldn't understand. No one would understand. Would they? Yet Harry wanted to tell them and the rest of the world. He wanted to scream that he was head over heels in love with the most incredible, not to mention gorgeous, person.
In the beginning Harry had been ashamed of his feelings for Draco but now, the tables had turned and he felt ashamed to be hiding something which was such a huge part of who he was.
"I wish this wasn't so hard." Harry voiced as he and Draco sat together in the Den the night before Ron, Hermione and Ginny were due to arrive.
"I know."
"What are we going to do?" Harry stood up and started pacing.
"I don't know." Draco was struggling with his own insecurities and anxieties but all he wanted right now was to soothe Harry. "Let's just go with the flow, hope they don't find out, and deal with obstacles as we come to them." He suggested, trying to sound convinced that this would work.
"I suppose, but it's... they're my best friends, I hate the thought of sneaking about behind their backs all the time."
"I know, and I don't want you to spoil your friendship with them over me..."
"It won't come to that... will it? I mean... I know we'll have to tell them at some point. We can't hide it forever, but... it's just... I don't know if I'm ready yet..." Harry looked troubled and vulnerable as Draco stood and enveloped him in his arms.
"I'm not going to push you into telling them anything you don't want. I'll let you decide when the time is right." Draco struggled to keep his steely grey eyes calm as he looked into unsettled, choppy green ones, like the bottle green Sea on a stormy day.
"I love you." Harry murmured, burying his head in Draco's neck, feeling instantly calmer.
"And I, you."
They slowly made their way back to Harry's room, both feeling the mutual and intense need for each other's touch.
They made love to each other slowly and intimately throughout the night, treating each time as if it would be their last, never breaking eye contact, until the fell asleep, utterly exhausted and clinging to one another.
As usual, Harry woke early the next morning before Draco. He watched the sleeping beauty, his chest rising and falling gracefully and wondered if they had spent their last night in the same bed, for a while at least.
When Draco's eyes fluttered open minutes later, he smiled seeing the familiar emerald eyes watching him. He remembered what day it was and his heart gave a jolt as he realised how hard this was going to be. His heart ached just thinking about being separated from Harry, deprived of his comforting touch.
Harry absent-mindedly ran a finger over the lion on Draco's chest, mulling over similar thoughts. They lay in silent bliss for a while before rising and heading for their last shower together, for a while at least.
They intimately washed each other's bodies and hair, savouring these moments together.
"Kettle on?"
"Check."
"Clean sheets on beds?"
"Check."
"Den hidden?"
"Check."
"Bathroom clean?"
"Check. Now stop worrying. There is absolutely no incriminating evidence left."
"Okay." Harry said, cracking his knuckles nervously.
"Stop doing that it's not healthy or natural. Are you sure you're not going to tell hem about the Den?"
Harry shook out his hands. "No, not yet. I will, but not yet." Harry looked to Draco for support. "Is that selfish?"
"No! It's up to you to decide what you tell or show them and when. Nobody's going to grudge you a bit of privacy."
"That's them." Harry started when the doorbell rang and Mrs Black flew into her usual fit of hysterics. Harry made to get the door but Draco pulled him back.
"Wait." He said, pulling Harry into one last, desperate and passionate kiss.
Harry felt physically pained to be erecting those impenetrable walls inside himself and to feel Draco doing the same as he opened the door.
"Harry!" Hermione squealed as she rushed in and flung her arms around his neck.
"Nice to see you too Hermione." Harry laughed slightly as she, Ron, Ginny, Fred, George and Mrs Weasley all piled in.
"Alright Harry mate." Ron greeted him as he shuffled in, adding his bags and Hogwarts trunk to the pile being made in the hall.
Harry closed the door and turned to lead the group of Weasley's plus Hermione into the kitchen but stopped dead, completely taken aback by what he saw.
Draco was standing a little further up the hall resting one shoulder against the wall, his old smug smirk plastered on his face. He was the Slytherin ice prince once again.
Harry set his jaw firm and it took all of his might to not show the pain he felt upon seeing this sight and carried on into the kitchen.
"Hello Harry dear." Mrs Weasley finally greeted him when she got the chance when the hustle and bustle died down as they all took seats at the kitchen table. "Sit down, I'll get that." She fussed, shooing Harry over to the table and taking over the making of teas.
Harry caught sight of Draco leaning against the doorframe, watching the scene before him. "Sit." Harry motioned to him as he took a seat himself. "Stop hovering about like a lost soul." He said trying to create a sense of a normal relationship between them, or what would be conceived to be normal.
Draco sat wordlessly at the end of the table, away from everyone else, watching as Harry chatted amicably with the twins, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Mrs Weasley.
Mrs Weasley made them all tea, including Draco (who accepted it but let it sit and go cold in front of him) and she restocked the cupboards an fridge with enough food to feed an army.
Harry smiled and laughed with them but not, Draco noticed, to the extent that he had been doing in these past few weeks. They gabbled on, catching up on the first three weeks of their summer holidays ignoring Draco who merely observed them with an expressionless mask. Every so often, Ron would throw him a dirty look but then continue to ignore him.
"So Harry, how have you been?" Hermione asked, glancing in Draco's direction.
"Fine, believe it or not." Harry replied, trying to suppress a manic grin as he thought about all that had happened over the past few weeks.
"Has he been like that the whole time? He's a bit creepy isn't he? Sitting there in silence like that." Ron whispered to Harry.
"Ron! Don't whisper it's rude!" Molly scolded, changing the subject as her 'overprotective mother' mode kicked in. "Have you boys been eating properly?"
"Yes Mrs Weasley." Harry smiled.
"Good. I've filled the cupboards for you. It should be enough to last you until Arthur and I arrive in a few weeks, but let us know if you run out. Now, something has been worrying me." She frowned. "Remus tells us that you have been confined to the house, for safety's sake?"
"Yes." Harry wondered where this was going.
"How are you feeling? Have you been getting enough exercise?"
Harry almost screamed in embarrassment as he thought about the only exercise he'd had in the past two weeks and it wasn't the kind of exercise he wanted to talk about. How was he going to answer this one?
Draco coughed to cover a laugh and quickly regained composure, waiting to see how Harry got out of this one.
"Well... we haven't really, just been a bit... lethargic. We do need to get out a bit more, but we are prime targets. If we went out together, we would make easy targets. They could just decide to take care of both of us in one go. We'll chance it to get our books and stuff but we can't afford to go out often.... I don't particularly want to meet Lucius... and it would be pretty hard to explain why two archenemies are out together..." Harry rambled, blurting things out randomly and when he was finished, he was receiving several strange looks. He smiled nervously and said "I'll run up and down the stairs a few times a day if it helps."
Mrs Weasley laughed. "Only if you feel it necessary. I was just concerned that you would feel you were becoming unhealthy.
Draco suppressed the urge to laugh. She might as well have said "don't you feel fat?"
"I'm okay." Harry assured her, blushing slightly. "Are you staying for dinner?" He asked, changing the subject.
"No, I hate to leave so soon but I must get home and do the housework. We're expecting Charlie for a visit. I'll bring him to visit you all during the week." She smiled getting up.
Harry seen Molly, Fred and George to the door and when he re-entered the kitchen, he could have cut the tension with a knife. Draco was glaring at Ron, who was beetroot red, and both Hermione and Ginny were scowling.
"Oh for Heaven's sake! I was only gone for two minutes!" Harry said exasperatedly, sitting back in his seat.
"So..." Ginny said awkwardly, breaking the tense silence. She couldn't help but feel it was going to be a strange few weeks. It could be a nightmare if things continued like this.
"Excuse me." Draco excused himself abruptly, standing and leaving the room.
"Good. Now we can talk." Ron said as he left.
"Ron... he's not that bad..." Harry sighed.
"Yeah right. I don't know how you've lived with him for three weeks!"
"If you give him a chance... he's okay..." Harry said weakly defending him, this was going to be more difficult than he had imagined. "I'll go check on him." He sighed, standing up. "I'll be back in a minute."
As he left he heard Ron say: "Check on him? What's all that about?"
Harry found Draco in the bathroom, his hands gripping the sides of the basin so hard his knuckles were white from lack of blood. He was staring unseeingly into the mirror.
"I hate this already." He said, sensing Harry's presence without looking round.
"I know." Harry said moving into the bathroom and closing the door softly behind him. "Me too." He felt a weight shift from his shoulders as he knew Draco's barriers had lifted.
"It's so much harder than I thought."
"I know but it won't be forever. They don't know Draco. They know Malfoy and they need to learn that it's a front, and they will. With time."
"What if they don't accept me? What about you? If that happens and they expect you to choose? I don't want you to have to choose."
"It won't happen." Harry said, sounding more confident than he felt, as he put a reassuring hand on Draco's and moving it from the sink and entwining their fingers, Draco's other hand naturally following and linking with Harry's.
Harry was grateful for the concern Draco had for him. He loved that Draco cared for him so much.
"Give me some time, I'll meet you in the Den in a while."
Draco looked solemnly into Harry's eyes.
"I hope you're right." They shared a soft kiss and Draco loosened his fingers from Harry's and left. Harry was left, leaning against the basin wondering how this was going to turn out.
"Merlin help me." He murmured.
