A/n: For all of you still with me, thank you for your patience. I hope this chapter is worth the wait. Still not mine! (Despite all the begging.) Moving on…
Lulu Hogg was standing outside the Boars Nest ready to direct everyone to where they needed to be by the time the Dukes arrived. Several young men waved at Daisy as she got out of Dixie and headed to the door. She had encouraged many of them to sign up, at Boss Hogg's request, and a large number of the group had signed up hoping she would be the one to bid on them. Of course, none of them knew about her promise to Enos, and she was fairly unaware of the effect she had on those young men. She waved back politely, then turned to her cousins and Uncle Jesse, the truly important men in her life, to wish them luck before separating from them.
Somehow Lulu managed to talk Boss Hogg into playing the role of auctioneer for the event. Naturally he put the Dukes dead last in line, hoping the ladies would lose interest by the time he got to the boys. Little did he know the persistence, not to mention patience, of a Hazzard County girl.
"Gone! To Daisy Duke!"
True to her word, Daisy waited to bid until it was Enos Strate's turn and won out over all the other girls' biddin', after a healthier competition than you'd expect for the "Oldest virgin in Hazzard County". But Daisy wasn't gonna disappoint ol' Enos, and the overjoyed expression on his face after she won, more than repaid her for the amount she bid. There was a lot of broken-hearted boys that took the stage after Enos stepped down.
The number of eligible bachelors dwindled until Jesse Duke stood there on that stage. Care to guess who got him? I swear, Miz Tisdale prob'ly scared off most of them other ladies interested in old Jesse. And I don't blame 'em one bit for backin' down. Uhhh, Jesse looks kinda worried there hisself.
And then came the moment a lot of Hazzard daddies had been dreading. 'Course, Boss Hogg didn't feel none too eager about introducing the Duke boys neither, mainly cause he just didn't want to have to say anything nice about them. But you gotta give him credit for makin' the effort.
"And now, last but definitely least, Bo and Luke Duke!" Boss Hogg stopped in his introductions, looking out earnestly into the crowd. "Look, I don't want to see any of you gals cheated outta your money, so how about we just quit right here?"
Vehement resistance greeted his suggestion.
Boss cried, over the murmuring of the crowd. "What do you care anyhow? Dukes come a dime a dozen!"
From the back, a somewhat bolder young woman shouted out, "Then how many can I get for twenty dollars?"
Well, how do ya like that? I tell you what, not every girl in Hazzard is after the Dukes, but enough of 'em is to make this event real interesting. At least they ain't come to blows, yet.
While the group of ladies threatened to turn into a mob over Boss Hogg's suggestion, Bo and Luke glanced at each other, a bit flustered by the attention, but amused by Boss Hogg's reaction to it. Boss Hogg himself grew red, more with irritation than embarrassment. Lulu Hogg yanked him aside.
"J.D., what do ya think you're doin'?" her voice rose to a shrill yell, nearly drowning out the crowd.
"Just tryin' to keep your cute little event safe from them delinquent Duke boys, my little praline," Boss tried his best to sound convincing, but Lulu didn't buy it.
"J.D.!"
While the lovers' quarrel raged behind the Dukes, Jesse Duke awkwardly took the stage. The ladies calmed down expectantly as he said, "Well, uh, why don't we start with my nephew Luke? He's a real fine young man…I should know, I raised him m'self…"
The bidding soon grew serious over Luke Duke with few of the girls backing down, but in the end it was Mabel Tillingham who won. Luke stepped down and threw Bo a satisfied smirk, somewhat relieved it was over and fairly confident that the amount Mabel bid had won the bet between him and Bo. His cousin stepped up beside their uncle, who had just introduced him and gotten the bidding underway when suddenly Lulu Hogg shouted furiously, "What do ya mean, ya ain't goin'!"
"I mean just what I said," Boss Hogg announced defiantly. "If them Dukes is goin', I ain't." He added quickly, hoping to make her see things his way, "Lulu honey, I gotta put my foot down. You don't see what them Duke boys is really like. I'm only doin' this for your own good, sweetikins. Besides, the county needs me more in my office than at that dance."
"Ya can't let me go all by myself, J.D.!" Lulu cried. "How's that gonna look, me goin' all by myself to my own charity ball?"
Boss Hogg raised his hands, using all the powers of persuasion he had at his disposal. "I'm a very busy man, Lulu honey. I got so much work to do, and time waits for no man. So you see, I just don't got the time to spare, much as I'd like to."
"Fine!" Lulu yelled in frustration. "I don't need you, you uncharitable Hogg!" And with that, Lulu stormed over to the audience and threw herself into a seat. Jesse Duke stared in mute amazement for a long moment, then, finding his voice, he moved along quickly and asked, "Well, what are we bid for my other nephew, Bo?"
The bidding had barely started up again when a voice cried, louder than all the rest, "5000 dollars!"
The room grew instantly still. Everyone stared at their neighbor, shocked by the audacity and extravagance of the person who bid. Three people in particular were stunned by the bid: Bo Duke, Boss Hogg, and Lulu. It was hard to tell which fact shocked them more though; the amount of the bid, or that it was Lulu herself that made it.
Anybody wanna try toppin' that? Ya know what, I think ol' Bo's still in shock. He ain't even rubbin' it in to Luke that he won their little wager.
A/n: Tell me what you think! I struggled a lot with this chapter, and this is the first version I can actually read through without feeling completely embarrassed to post it. Please R and R, and all constructive criticism is welcomed! (Trust me, my brain could use the kickstart.) Thanks so much!
