Without Bill being around the house felt lonely and somber. I had a mission today to get the best lawyer I could afford. So I marched my ass to the bathroom and lugged myself into the shower. I don't care how depressed I feel, I can't slip Jason is counting on me!

Once I finally got a look at myself I shuttered. My eyes were puffy with dark circles resting under them. My skin looked dull, my hair was dry and frizzy. I decided to spend time reviving myself.

It took two hours to put the essence of my soul back where it belonged. My attire was professional today, black pumps with tights, a pencil skirt, and a white button-up blouse.

I checked my purse to make sure the check Eric wrote out to me was in there. It was placed onto an envelope that I didn't recognize, I opened it to find a note and lots of cash. The note read.

-Dear Sissi, I understand that you are a strong and prideful woman who has had to work for many things in life. Please try to understand that as your man I desire to help and cherish you. All I ask is that you allow me to. I will not take no for an answer this money now belongs to you. Love, Bill-

I had no idea how to process the gesture other than to cry. I ruined my makeup with streaks of mascara. I prayed and thanked any god that would listen. I wasn't religious but Gran was.

So many were afraid that I never allowed them to get close. Bill was slowly tearing down those walls brick by brick. I had decided to ignore the portion where he called me his woman until I heard it from his mouth and not just on paper. I was starting to have real feelings for him. I pushed those thoughts away and fixed my face to leave once again.

Sidney Matthew Lancaster was an extremely accomplished lawyer. He was located in Monroe, so I called beforehand to make sure an appointment would be set. The office was located inside a building with lots of other businesses on the inside. It was quite nice with wood flooring, really expensive-looking vases, and artwork on the walls. I sat and waited till I was called. A public coffee machine summoned my name, the receptionist eventually told me to enter Mr. Lancaster's office.

I explained my situation to him. The reasons why my brother was a suspect and all the possible things that could determine if my brother walked a free man. The first thing he did was set up a meeting to talk to Jason. Everything had gone smoothly, I paid for any upfront fees in cash, he told me that he would bill me later for any other fees that came to pass.

I didn't get back to Bon temps until the afternoon. I decided that I needed to stop by the jail and speak to Jason. The jailhouse was small, once inside I informed the sheriff that if he wants to talk to my brother his lawyer must be present.

I left the card on his desk. It held the number and email. I was escorted to the back where the cells were, Jason hopped up from the cot-like metal bed.

"Sissi, are you getting me out." He was standing up at the cell door now.

"I paid for a lawyer he will be here later to discuss your bail and talk to you, are you alright?"

"Thank you. And hell no I'm not alright. I'm just ready to go home, be done with all this. " I leaned into the bars to whisper

"Is there anything else besides the tape?"

"I don't think so. I don't know! Maudette and I were pretty drunk every time we fucked around."

My brother is such a prick, ugh. I left the stationhouse to stop by Merlotte's. As soon as I stepped in, I heard Lafayette before I saw him.

"Well sookie sookie now, girl where are you going dressed like that. Lookin' like a high-class hooker."

"Lafayette, you know damn well I know how to dress. Anyway thank you, I needed a good laugh. I went down to Monroe and got Jason a lawyer."

"Quit frowning you'll get lines. It'll work out, besides you know boyfriend couldn't hurt a fly."

"Well we know that but Bellefleur is set on pinning this on him. Say a prayer for Jason's stupid ass. Love you."

He gave me the biggest hug before walking back to the kitchen. It was lunch service so not many people were about except the regulars. Sam was in the back occupying his office, so I went to say hello.

He was bent over some paperwork when he looked up at me a huge smile broke cross his face. I wouldn't mind dating Sam. If he would have asked before Bill showed interest I could see myself saying yes.

He had reddish-brown hair, it shot out all crazy-like. A scruffy face, every few weeks he grows out his beard but then just shaves it off out of boredom. He had a tummy but was built.

Strong arms and thick, ya know? Like a big bear. My favorite feature was his teddy bear eyes. His mind was loud! That's ok, he's really sweet, he's one I don't mind hearing.

We chatted about Jason and when id be coming into work tonight. I felt a lot better about the money issue now. I left for home to change.

I wasn't going in until around six. I was trying to calm myself and relax. Since Gran died most things just didn't make sense anymore. I just want to wake up from this nightmare, but I know that all of this will eventually work out... it had to, right?

I accidentally dozed off and woke up a bit late, only a few minutes but late is late. I went into the bathroom to clean my face and use the utilities.

While I was washing my hands, I thought I heard some movement in the house. I knew It couldn't be Jason, so I called out.

"Bill, is that you?"

no response. I grabbed the sharpest thing I could. My tweezers. I held them in my hand half hiding them. I started to walk to the kitchen. Flashes of that night burned in my mind. I could almost feel my knees ache from falling into her blood.

I thought I heard another noise... I flipped the light on but no one was there. Suddenly I felt arms grab around my waist. I fought, my arms flailing trying to grasp anything I could. My mind was overwhelmed with thoughts, I couldn't slow the onslaught.

~ I've got you now you stupid slut! Fight all you want, it does nothing but turn me on. You're pretty when you scream like this. Have you let that thing touch you yet? I bet you have! -

Whoever this was, if I didn't get away from them and soon, I'd turn up just like Maudette and Dawn! I saw flashes of what he did to them the longer he held on to me. The visions were different they were darker and fuzzy. Disjointed.

He was dragging me across the floor now. I was holding on to the doorframe as I kicked at him. It was Renè Lenier! I was able to kick him in his face, I took my moment to run, he tried crawling after me. His nose dripped blood across the wood floors.

I was still in my socks. I was struggling to get out of the house quick enough. I slipped a few times but made it outside. The sun was just starting to set outside, my vision was blurry from tears. I just ran!

I could hear his thoughts. They were screaming at me as if they came from all directions. The things I saw? What he did to Maudette! He stalked her. Watched her for weeks. He even went to Fangtasia and counted how many times she allowed a vampire to feed on her. Watched her get railed by vampires for tastes of their blood. Begging on hand and knees for more. It fueled a rage inside him.

Renè hated women! He hated everything they did. Hated how they smelled. How they walked. How they rejected him. He couldn't function women were all he could think about. He couldn't stand the control they held over him. Most of all, he hated women that allowed the dead to touch on them!

After watching from Maudettes window as she got fucked by my dumbass brother. They were using some type of rig to make her stand straight, a homemade sex tape was on. On it, was none other than Liam!

The tattooed vampire I met the night I went to Bills. My brother fucked her to the porno and mimicked what Liam did to her, he choked her! He thought he choked her out. She had been playing a joke. René watched as Jason ran out of there so quick.

I was able to see what the cops didn't. The tape only caught so much. She had been recording that night too. However, Renè made sure to take that particular part out of the film before dropping it off at the police station.

Not only did he set my brother up but he killed Maudette by using the same rope that held her up on the rig. He strangled her. Once she took her last breath he cut a piece of her hair and rubbed it across his face.

He stuck it inside his mouth and swallowed it. After a while, he lay with her cold dead body! He did the same to Dawn. The day I found her. He had just finished! I had caught him in the act.

The reason he had to run to the back of the house was that he left evidence. He forgot his scissors. He wasn't prepared to kill me. To many eyes so he was forced to stay and make sure I didn't see anything.

I was now hidden behind a tree. I heard his footsteps. I held my hand over my mouth, I was so scared pee started to drip down my legs.

"Sissi? Come on out, I was just kidding! Let's talk it out ok". His accent was different now. Gone was the Cajun clip of words. He sounded foreign. Who was this man?

I was able to take off once he moved further away. I was running towards Bill's house. I was almost there when he got me. Renè held me in his arms, he was on top of me.

I was scratching and punching but somehow he managed to grasp my arms and slam them to the ground. He laughed in my face, his breath hot and foul like wet sewage.

"I have you now!"

I took this chance to bite as hard as I could on his broken nose. I took the tip with me as he pulled away. I was able to crawl away but he just wouldn't give up! I saw the scissors.

They had fallen out of his pocket during the struggle. I grabbed them and plunged them deep into his heart. I kept stabbing and stabbing until I was drug away. I swung the scissors wildly and got away. I screamed like a wounded animal at whoever was holding me. It was Bill!

I kept shaking. He was yelling at me but I couldn't hear him. I backed away from him and began walking. I was dazed but I still managed to find my way to Gran's grave. I collapsed, my head hit her stone. Everything went black after that.

I didn't come too until I was in a white room. The sounds of machine's beeping clued me to where I was. A hospital. I turned my head to see Jason. He was out of jail. Bout damn time!

The memories flooded all at once. Gran! As I plunged the scissors. I witnessed from René's point of view how he killed my grandmother. He had been waiting for me. Waiting for me to get home after the glorious dead meeting. He attacked her by accident and had no choice but to kill her with an impromptu weapon. A kitchen knife.

What put me on his radar? He had overheard Arlene and Lafayette talking it up with Tara one night about how I was getting sweet with a vampire.

He fixated on me after that. Sneaking into my home and stealing panties and watching me. Waiting! Waiting until he had evidence of my sin! He found it.

He had been there that night. The night I was with Bill at Fangtasia. He saw me and him. How we behaved and acted towards one another. Hearing him call me his to Eric.

He knew what that meant! He even followed after us during the raid. Watched as Bill and I made out in his car. Watched how I acted. I viewed my desire through the eyes of a man that wanted to destroy me!

Until then. I had been what he thought was the perfect woman. I went to church every Sunday. Only because Gran did, I got to hang outside with Tara and chat up like we did as kids.

I worked and took care of myself. Renè thought a woman should dress and keep herself up for her man. I was good with kids, he watched how I took care of Arlene's but unlike her, I didn't have any yet. That man had been preying on me this entire time!

Jason had yet to notice I was awake yet. He was holding a Bible open and reading. Praying that I lived. Begging God for mercy. I coughed to let him know It just might have worked.

He ran over and burst into tears. He hadn't cried that hard since we were kids. The night we woke up in the hospital after being told our parents were dead. He kept thanking the Lord. I wanted to laugh for some reason, I was just thankful I was alive.

Suddenly the door opened. It was Bill. My stomach flipped and my heart began to pound, a bead of sweat dripped down my face. I couldn't help but think of René. He had flowers in hand and what seemed to be a meal.

" I told him id watch you, but he insisted on staying. It's tomato soup and mashed potatoes. Soft foods only..." I could tell he wanted to say more but couldn't, he sat in the dark and fed me the soup and potatoes.

I had damaged my throat from screaming. There were tears in my esophagus. I could barely talk. Even though I still tried to convey I was thankful for the food.

Jason gave us the room. Once he was gone bloody tears dripped from Bill's face. He was looking at my wounds. I couldn't feel much but I'm sure I was fucked up.

I know I had a cast on my foot. I had cuts on my hands from the scissors cutting me as I stabbed him. He brushed a piece of hair out of my face and leaned down to kiss my forehead but I flinched. I was stitched up there too. I sliced my head open. But I survived! Renè didn't get me! He understood. He sat further away and spoke through his pain.

"I almost lost you today. I woke up and ran straight to you. Your blood! Im sorry I wasn't able to get there sooner!"

I was shocked. I could feel him! I could feel the pain and fear rolling off him. I reached out and held his hand as he wailed. He laid in my arms till he no longer could, I watched the sunrise and thought about my future.

I can't even look at Bill without thinking about Renè. The things he wanted to do to me. It makes my skin want to peel off like paint chips. What was I to do? I love him... I think? I know at the very least I saw a future with him.

I almost died! Would I always be put in danger? Since I've been with Bill, I've been in situations where I could have potentially lost my life.

The first was with Diane, I had to show I wasn't scared even if I was or it would have been like fish in a shark tank. The second was the day Longshadow came after me. Now Renè. I have two bodies under my belt because I associated with him!

Jason came and got me from the hospital later that day. He knew I hated them. I began my recovery. My friends and family periodically stopped over.Bringing food and helping keep the house together. Eric kept to his word. I got a check in the mail from him.

I no longer needed the lawyer, what I paid for him was lost. I used the rest of the money Bill left to pay off debt and fixed up my van. Got her repainted and all Sissified Jason liked to say.

Bill still stopped over. We talked a bit and spent time. But that feeling never went away. I still felt like it was too dangerous.

My injuries have now almost healed. It has been some long weeks since that day. It's time. I've been stringing him and he's starting to tell.

We both sit out on the porch. The sky was dark and not particularly inviting right now. Fitting. He held my hand in his, he knew it was coming. I could tell from the way his leg was bouncing. Just anxious.

" Why won't you let me heal you darling ..." he trailed off. I told him that I wanted to feel the pain and he didn't understand. The pain helps me remember that I'm alive...

"Bill, I'd like to talk about us."

" Sure darling, what's up?"

"As you know we've only been together for a few months...".

"I know we moved fast Sissi. But my feelings for you are real. You've been through a lot lately and I know that's scary, but things have been ok... Right?"

The words caught in my throat. He was right. Things have been much calmer, we get along fine. He's sweet, thoughtful, respectful. Hell, he's Sexy! But I still couldn't shake the fear. I still couldn't shake this feeling of danger.

"Bill."

"I love you. "

"I'm sorry, I can't be with you anymore. It's just too much! I just lost my grandmother, I almost.. died! Okay! He wanted to kill me because of you! Because I love you! I need time to heal. Just go! "

I couldn't stop the word vomit. Everything poured out and I broke the façade. I did love him. That fact almost got me...

Bill stayed silent for quite a long while just looking at my hands. I didn't know he was crying until he looked back up at me and kissed me one last time.

" What shall I do until then?" his voice was thick with emotion and unspoken words.

" I don't know, I guess you should do what you feel is best or right for you." He kissed my hand and disappeared from view. Rain poured down and thunder roared, reflecting how I felt inside.