Title: A Chaotic Mess of Pastels
Author: Me!
Rating: I'm not too sure about the new rating system but I would say this is about…PG-13.
Feedback: I'd love me some it!
Summary: Troy Bolton finally has life all figured out as his junior year wanes. However, his perfect world is in jeopardy as he discovers his past.
Disclaimer: I own not High School Musical or the songs or Zac…but if I did…heheheh. Wow! I don't own much. Wait! I do own Adele Carson! And the title of this play…and the song parts from Chpt 14!
carito06 I'm totally relieved to hear that these reactions are believable. That's my main concern. I also think it's neat that you throw yourself into the story.
mintcookiecake W00t! I love putting reviews in the wrong chapter section!
sophthewiseone I'm going to be sad as well. But aren't you glad that you now have such a bangin' song playing on repeat? "Breathing" is such a beautiful song and I love it the most – out of all the releases Lifehouse has. Lifehouse rules!
Oliverwoodschic :blushes: You are so sweet. I can only try to develop as a writer and fanfiction-ing has helped me. I am excited – and honored – to know that my work can be appreciated for the craftsmanship it has. I wanted this to be unique in HSM fandom.
dancerlittle I hope this chapter is just as good!
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Chapter Eighteen
Morning had shone its bright eyes hours ago, as did Troy Bolton. His sleep was disjointed, restless, and unsatisfying. All night he dreamt about Gabriella and the imminent discussion they were to have today. This could be the make it or break it moment. Troy's anxiety forced him to stay tangled in his bedsheets, fearing the outside world and all that it would throw at him.
He had no one to thank but himself. Chad told him that he should speak up yet he didn't. He kept his girlfriend in the dark about his ex-girlfriend. That was a huge mistake. Now, he would suffer the consequences. His body knew it – anticipated it. His stomach ached and he felt the nausea building.
There was no going back to his old life.
Troy dragged himself downstairs, into the kitchen, where his parents were sitting side-by-side, sharing a page of the newspaper. His mother looked up as he yanked the refrigerator door open.
"Good morning."
He grumbled in response.
"Use words when you're mother tells you 'good morning'." His father spoke.
"Morning," He closed the door, decided that he couldn't stomach food. His appetite was non-existent. Dread over what was to come kept his body on edge.
"I'll see you guys soon. I really need to get those parts for the lawn mower." He bade them goodbye.
"You're up early. Do you want breakfast?"
"No, mom. I'm not too hungry." Troy dropped himself onto an empty chair, leaning his elbows on the table.
Dana observed her son. "What's wrong? You look torn up inside."
"Wouldn't you be if you were about to – possibly – get broken up with?"
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"I screwed up with Gabriella and she might break up with me after she hears what I have to say about the situation."
"And what situation is that?" He knew that she knew what "the situation" was.
"I didn't tell Gabi the whole truth. Now she knows some bits and pieces, I think, and she's not too happy. I mean, would you be if you found out the true nature of the thing?" Troy's voice was muted a bit as he had laid his head on his folded forearms.
"You're not making sense."
He picked his head up, staring his mother's in the eyes. "I told Gabi that Adele and I were a summer fling that meant nothing to us. She believed me. From there, she thought that the problems I was having with Adele stemmed from the friendship. Last night, she found some things out. I have no clue how or why it happened now but I do know that Sharpay Evans helped add fuel to this fire."
"Sharpay? She don't think that she…"
"You remember how she was – and still is. Of course I think she's doing this as revenge against the both of us!"
Dana went over to start a pot of coffee. "You mean the three of you. Troy, you should have been up front with Gabi. If you love her as much as you say you do, it wouldn't have been a problem. Why hide it?"
He regretted speaking up. The instant his mother asked the question, his mind shut down as anger swelled in his chest. She had no right to ask that question. "What do you mean by that?"
"What do you think? Honey, if you cared for her, why hide that you once were in a committed relationship before her? "
"Because…I don't know. It wasn't as committed as I thought." Shit, he cursed mentally. He was walking right into the very place he wanted to keep shut – locked away for good.
"Ah, I see. You have yet to accept the break-up."
"It would have been easier if we had a clear break-up. We quit calling each other. That's it."
"But you told us you both had mutually agreed it was for the best." Dana said.
"I lied to get you and dad off my backs with the questioning. I had no clue as to what was happening. It was all crumbling fast." His eyes stung. Troy blinked before lay his head back down. He felt like his insides were being squished.
Warmth. It felt is so strongly as his mom's arms encircled him. "We had no idea. You should have told us." She released him, sitting in the chair closest to him. "Do you still think you love Adele?"
"I'm not sure. I do love Gabriella – I know that for a fact but once you throw Addie back into the mix, all those emotions come back and the memories and the future we had set out…I want to sleep through this day and wake up tomorrow, problem solved."
"Doesn't work that way, champ."
He couldn't stay in the same room with his mom. The piteous looks he was receiving from her made Troy resent voicing what had been clouding his mind for weeks. "I'm going to go take a shower. I'm sure I'll be getting a call from Gabi." He stood, leaving the kitchen as quickly as possible.
Steam whirled around him as Troy stared at his figure in the mirror. His eyes were dead; they fascinated him. The showerhead was streaming hot water at full blast. The pattering of water on the tiled walls and floor of the cubicle hypnotized him. Things would have been easier if he had done what was right. If he was to live by a moral code, then would he not have to live it with everyone? With Adele? Ellie as she was once known to him. He heard the distant ring of his phone, causing him to snap out of his daze and jump into the shower.
If he could, Troy Bolton would runaway. It would be easiest. Yet, now, he realized that every easy choice he made was no backfiring – slowly but surely.
After his shower, toweled and dried, Troy took a deep breath, inhaling as much courage from the surrounding air as he could. He flipped his cell open.
'One missed call' was printed in bold black against a bright white screen. Accessing his voicemail, Troy paced the floor. The new message was from Gabi. She was walking over right now. She'd been there soon.
Panic rose up this throat which he swallowed thickly. It was time. He yanked on some clothes, not caring if they matched. He peered out of his window. Pressing his nose against the windowpane, Troy scoped the street below the best he could with the angle the window was positioned. He couldn't see a thing. Running out of his room, he went to the hall bay window and there she was, coming from around the corner. Troy took the steps two at a time, jumping the last few steps.
He was oddly calm as the doorbell rang. Troy opened the door in precise moments. Gabriella stood on the other side of the threshold, pulling on the cuffs of her over-sized sweater. It appeared that she took about as much time to put on clothes as he did this morning.
"Let's go up to my room?"
"It would be best." Gabriella stepped pass Troy who closed the door. She waved at his parents before she ascended the steps. His eyes remained on the ornate runner as he climbed the stairwell. She went into his room and Troy closed the door behind him.
Carefully, Gabriella sat on the edge of his bed, hands folded. Troy pulled his computer chair from his desk closer to Gabriella. He sat opposite her, staring at her without much to say. Because what he wanted to say was right. To say he was sorry would seem to be a slap in his girlfriend's face. If he were sorry, he have never let things get this far.
"Are you going to say something?"
"I don't know what to say."
"Tell me about you and Adele." She didn't ask; she commanded.
Troy scratched his head. "I did tell you."
"That's bull and you know it, Troy." She jumped to her feet.
Troy was taken aback. He had never heard Gabriella raise her voice to anyone ever. The anger that flashed in her eyes caused his chest to tighten as he prepared for her full-blown rage.
"You never told me about your past relationship with her. You lied about it…made it seem worthless when that's not the case." She clenched her teeth, holding back a full scream,
Troy stood up, taking a few steps back. Distance from her would be good for his health. "Calm down. You're getting yourself so worked up." He went to touch her.
Gabriella moved her arm out of his reach. "Don't you dare touch me? I don't need your comfort. I need answers. Tell me why!"
"How did you find out? Last night? A snowball of other nights?"
"It's not like it much matters now does it?"
"Oh, it d-does." He sputtered over the harsh tone in which she spat her words out. This couldn't be Gabriella, could it? He understood that he had to choose his words carefully but was that a possibility for him now? "How would you even know about Adele and I and how much it was worth? You can't possibly know that. No one knows that."
"True. But people have a good idea." She shook her head.
"What people? Who?" Troy knew who these 'people' were. He knew that it was one person who would betray the past to her. He just needed her to say the name.
"Last night, at the party, during that one song by Lifehouse. I saw the way people froze, shared suspicious look, clamored to their seats. It was a joke!" Gabriella exclaimed. "That was your special song with her, was it not?"
"Maybe," His eyes darted to the bag of Adele's things on the floor. He wished that he had thought to hide it before Gabriella came over.
"I heard the whispers. People said that you two were the 'It' couple. Most popular, most athletic…most likely to go the distance! They could see the passion and love you had for her. Whenever that song came on, you took her by the waist and slow-danced with her – no matter where you were!" Gabi ranted as she paced.
"That's an exaggeration." Why was he still lying to her?
Gabriella's kind brown eyes were filled with anger as they rolled in her head spitefully. "Whatever. I could see her lying about it, hiding what you two had together from me. I saw the pictures. The multitude of photos she had in that box were all of you or you with her family or you with her friends or you with her!"
Troy was perplexed. Adele still had pictures from back then? He was sure that she had gotten rid of them. He had – well, most of them were gone. His blue eyes went to the hiding place of his three treasured photos.
"Don't look so stupid. Like you don't know? There were pictures of you after your basketball games, sleeping on her couch in the living room…and there was a photo of you both kissing." Her voice dropped to a whisper when she uttered that last sentence.
He recognized the descriptions. He could clearly see the day when he went over to Addie's house after a grueling practice. Troy collapsed on her couch, taking a quick nap. It seemed like a few hours later (but in all actuality a few minutes) when he awoke to the sound of a camera clicking. He took the device from Addie, commencing a playful wrestling match, which he won. With the camera still in hand, he kissed her, taking a picture of it simultaneously. He could not fight the wistful grin that was forming on his lips.
"I guess you remember those." growled Gabriella. "You disgust me!"
"There's no need for name calling!"
"As if you have any say in how I should feel or what I should do?" Her face was twisted in a grimace.
"Whatever but I don't know why she would keep them. I didn't. I trashed those after we broke up!"
Gabriella scoffed as she came to his bookshelf. She pulled down an East High Yearbook. "Oh yeah. I was told about this one." She opened the book, flipping to the freshman section. "Here; read it. It's my favorite."
She shoved the book into his hand, jamming it into his thumb. There was a full-page photo of Adele against a set of lockers with Troy leaning towards her, a hand outstretched to the lockers for support. It read in small black print: 'Rising basketball players, Troy Bolton and Adele Carson, caught sharing a little more than defensive moves.'
He rushed towards her, letting the book fall to the floor. "That means nothing now. I don't care about her anymore. I care about you."
She dodge him again, moving to a far away corner. "If you cared about me, then you would have told me about her. If you didn't care about Adele, why wouldn't you tell me? What could it matter if you told your girlfriend about an ex in the past?"
Troy couldn't answer for he did not have the answer himself. Why had he not spoken about the true nature of his relationship with Adele? He struggled against it but the reality was there, in the back of his mind, reaching out to him.
"She is in the past, right?"
"I never cheated, if that's what you mean!" His anger boiled inside. "How dare you in insinuate that I would do that to you? Why does everyone assume that I would cheat?"
"I was not jumping to that conclusion. Now, I wonder."
"Don't even go there. If cheating wasn't want you were talking about, then what?"
Gabriella walked towards him. "I remembered when you were telling me about Adele and how she never tried to resolve the issue of her leaving…how you both just stopped talking. Was that it then? You guys never officially broke up?"
"Our schedules conflicted and we called less and less!"
"Cut the crap. Be a man and tell the truth! For once, tell me the truth."
"I am!"
"How do I know that?"
Troy stared at the floor. He deserved her cutting remarks. "She mentioned something that sounded like a break-up and I never returned her voicemail. I had no want to break up with her!"
Gabriella's rueful smile stung him. Again, her eyes found the bookcase and the vacant spot where the yearbook was once shelved. "So it's finally out. That's why you wouldn't tell me the full capacity of the relationship…you couldn't face the finality." She placed her fingertips on the shelf. Then, she reached out and maneuvered a piece of wood from behind the books.
He cursed to himself, under his breath.
"She had this picture too." She was pointing to the black-and-white photo of the two on Adele's porch swing. He knew what that looked like by heart.
"I can face the end of it." His voice was shaky and the volume seemed to have lowered.
"I don't think you have. You never broke up. You still love her." Gabriella voice was soft again.
"Don't you dare!" He exclaimed. "You have no idea what we went through, Addie and I. You don't know what I feel for her because I feel nothing!" The volume seemed to have returned.
She sighed. "So back to the question at hand. Why couldn't you tell me the whole truth?"
Troy fell silent as his chest rose and fell rapidly. When did all of this go downhill? His mind flew back to all the times Chad told him to tell the truth, to all the times he could have told the truth but didn't. And he kept coming back to the same one thought that tied it all together.
Troy wasn't ready to share the past because it ruined the perfection of it all by reminding him that Adele had wanted to give him up.
He flopped back onto the chair. "I wasn't ready."
"I thought as much. We should take a break." She placed the picture frame on his bed.
"You want to break up with me?"
"I didn't say break up…I just said let's take a break. You have so much to figure out."
As she opened the door, Troy looked up. "Sharpay, right?"
Gabriella hesitated at the door before she left the room.
He sat there, numb, listening to Gabi's footsteps on the steps, the front door closing, and his parents confused shuffling. Whatever just happened here shouldn't have. This wasn't supposed to be how he envisioned his life. He was satisfied until New York. Because of New York, Troy's life was struck into shambles. New York City was where Adele was – his hope and fears and love was there but not anymore. She wanted nothing to do with him. She stopped calling and he stopped consciously caring.
He knew he was just in his fear of seeing her when he went on that field trip. He should have stayed home that day. She would have still come to visit but she would not have been so active in his life. Why did he have to honor their pact of so long ago? That was the final nail when he agreed to be friends with her again.
Adele ruined his life.
No more Gabriella. A break is the beginning of a break-up. It was over before it had a chance to flourish. He whole-heartedly believed that Gabriella could have been someone he could have loved for years to come. But that was over now.
All because of Adele.
"This is enough." He slipped into a pair of sneakers, yanked the bag off the floor, and raced out of his room. He thundered down the staircase, startling his mother as she was about to venture up them. "I'll be back."
He went through the kitchen. Wrenching the back door open, Troy ran across his backyard. He knew the path he was journeying upon. He traversed this shortcut many times late at night. The daylight only proved to help him get there faster.
He hurtled over a short fence and across a back road. There it was. The backyard still had lights up. The tables were bare and the tent was down. One couldn't tell that last night – this disheveled backyard was the spot for the biggest party that had hit Albuquerque in years.
Taylor, Kelsi, and Adele were strolling the party site, cleaning up bits and pieces as they passed it by.
"Hey, Troy!" Kelsi said, waving enthusiastically.
He ignored her cheery greeting, storming towards the girl who ruined his life. Tapping her on the shoulder, Troy bounced from one foot to the other. As soon as Adele turned to face him, he smashed the bag into her chest.
"Take them and get the hell out of my life." He knew that he was in store for the infamous Carson fury. He wanted it.
Adele cradled the gift bag. "What did you say?"
"You heard me. Get the hell out of here. Go back to New York."
"And who do you think you are?" She released the bag, letting the items spill over onto her lawn.
"The person who's life you destroyed by not speaking up and letting him know that you were through with him. You've caused me so much damage. You don't even care."
"What the hell? I caused you damage? What about me? You halted all contact with me. Get over yourself, Troy. Whatever got you like this is your own fault."
Troy growled at the smarmy smirk on her face. He was aware that there were others nearby. He was also aware of them sneaking off. But, oh, he truly wanted them to hear all that he was to say. It was over.
"Really? My fault? Fine. But remember when you had the insight into my thoughts and told me what I was feeling?"
"Of course. Realized that I was right?"
"I realized that you were mistaken. See, I'm not the one who's not over us…it's you. Do you or do you not still have a box of pictures of me? Tons and tons of them?"
Adele's glare remained firm yet she was floundering over what to say.
"I thought so."
"Who told you about that?"
"Gabi found them."
"Really? She told you, huh? Got into a tiff, did you?" She stepped closer to him. "I can tell. I know it."
Troy shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't going to let her manipulation turn the tables on this argument.
"She talked to you. That's why she left last night. Couldn't handle knowing that she wasn't your first love? That's understandable. But why do you care? Why did she care? The song…is that it?"
"Perhaps. Perhaps, she found out about us and what we were. Perhaps she knows it all but what I'm here to say is that you need to leave me alone!"
"I didn't come to your house to make a SCENE!" She shouted directly into his face. "Do not come to my house and expect to show me up because your girlie realized what you didn't."
"And what do you know?"
"Nothing." She turned away from him, taking a few steps back. "I have a feeling…a hunch that she called you out."
Troy crossed his arms over his chest, opening his stance a few inches wider to have a better base, rooting himself into the ground. He was prepared. "She did."
"She must have know what you don't. Probably said things needed to calm down while you figure things out?"
She had the uncanny ability to read him but so did he. Slowly, he was masterfully weaving her into his trap. She would have the whole burden he was sick of carrying. "Exactly."
Her laugh was cold as she whipped around. "So sorry to hear about that! What she say when she found all that? Figured I wasn't over you thus you weren't over me?"
"On point as always."
"I love it when you compliment me." Her smile was dangerous.
He continued with his blasé attitude, watching her without a care. "Continue,"
"So, you still love me. I always knew you weren't over me."
"And why would I? You were so perfect for me." She was sinking into his plan. He would call her out on everything – embarrass her as much as she made him look uncaring to Gabi.
Her hard expression melted. The anger was drained fast. "What?"
"When we were together, it was magic. You know that. And when you went away…my life was nothing. But we endured. I saw you over holidays but things went to shit when you decided you were through with me. 'Arrangements' I believe was the word you used. You wanted to talk about our 'arrangements'. You can't blame me for shutting you out after that. You were not going to make me look like an idiot. You did, however, succeed in making yourself look as such."
"How dare you?" Her voice was soft – broken.
"How dare you try to come back into my life and sabotage my relationship? You still love me and you can't get over that, can you? But, that's okay." He was circling her slowly, stopping when her back was pressed to his. "I'm over you."
"If you were, then you wouldn't be here, trying to make me look foolish."
"I don't care about making you look like anything. I'm here to let you know that no more will I let you rule me. There's nothing left of you that I have in my room…in my life." His voice whispered into her ear. "That pile on the ground is all that I had. I do not want it anymore. I do not want you in my life anymore."
"Keep telling yourself that, huh? Doesn't seem to be working." Adele looked over her shoulder. Their lips were mere centimeters away. "And those 'arrangements' you so cowardly shied away from were for you to come down to NYC to live with me and my aunt. I had even arranged for us to work at a Youth Center. I could have gotten you to teach basketball to elementary kids." She sashayed away from him.
That was not in the plan. He assumed from what he could gather from his friends that 'arrangements' was shorter way of saying: We should see other people. His bravado – for all he had depended on it – was shriveling.
"Yup. Just hit you, did it? We could still have dated. But you caused us to be this." She pointed to the things on the grass, scattered between them. "Why don't you leave before you embarrass yourself some more? Go figure some things out for your new love."
No. He wasn't going to lose this battle. "Do not tell me what to do. You gave up that right. Yes, I was scared and wrong to not call you back but what about you? You never tried to correspond with me."
Adele seemed worried suddenly. "Why should I?"
"That ring should be all the answers to your questions."
"I had no need to."
"Of course not. To think that I was cheating on you was easiest when I never called back to hear about the plans you made. I knew not of them – only you knew the big secret!" He could see that he was getting to her. The panic in her eyes sparkled.
She babbled incoherently.
"That is to say I knew not of your secret…your infidelity."
Troy vaguely heard the sharp intake of breath from the two other girls.
"I would never cheat on you."
"So why didn't you call? Tell me! You know we need to put this dead horse to rest!"
Adele began to fidget. Her fingers twisted and her lip was being bit into. He had her where he wanted her. He would get his answers. He would see that she was finally going to hurt and struggle and face the end that was here.
"I was afraid that we weren't meant to be! I thought there were better things for me! I was afraid that I would be stuck with you forever." She muttered, eyes breaking contact with his.
Though it hurt to hear the truth in all its non-glory, Troy was relieved to know it and for her to feel the agony. "No faith in us. No faith in me. Do not ever think that this is all mine to go through and figure out. You caused this – not me. You will second-guess what could have been – not me." He stepped over her things, making his way back over to the way he came in.
"No! No I won't!"
"Oh, but, darling…you will. You love me." Troy closed the gap between them, whispering once again.
"And you love me." Adele leaned forward.
"Keep fantasizing." Troy walked away. He hadn't gotten far when he felt something hit him solidly in the shoulder. He froze in his tracks, pivoting to see what happened. He watched as Adele trudged inside.
"Good." He grumbled while he checked his shoulder where he was hit. A gleam caught his eye. He peered down, picking up the shiny object. He slipped into his pocket, whistling a nameless tune as he went back home.
A silver band with three gemstones in blue, green, and clear white was carried back to the Bolton household in Troy's pocket.
