CH8

"Quick, call the police! Call the navy!" Mister Krabs urged.

But Spongebob was already ahead of him. "Um, Mister Krabs the police put me on hold and the Navy said they had to get permission from congress before they can send any ships out here."

"Well then I guess I'll just have to protect me own property! Alright people, after 'em!" Krabs yelled expecting everyone in the restaurant to rely to his aid. "There stealing me secret recipe for making krabby patties!"

"Um, I'm on my lunch break," one of his customers politely explained. "And I have to get back to work now."

"Yah and I have to go home and water my plants," another explained.

"And I can't drag my children into a fight," said another.

"And I just ate a really big meal and…"

"Alright, alright!" Mister Krabs snapped. "Fine, guess it's up to us then boys," he said referring to Squidward and Spongebob.

Suddenly Spongebob was wearing an army helmet as he stood at attention and saluting. "I'm ready, I'm ready -to go kick some mackerel butt Mister Krabs!"

Squidward just stared blankly at him and Krabs, "You going to give us combat pay for this right?"

"No," Mister Krabs sharply explained. "But I'll have you keelhauled if ya don't get that krabby patty before that green little monster hands it over to Plankton!"

"Good enough," Squidward concluded and put a colander over his head. "I knew I should have never left band camp."

"Well don't I get to come too?" Patrick pitifully asked Mister Krabs.

"'Course ya can Patrick," Krabs happily invited him to come along. "We need all the help we can get stopping that swindling little shyster."

"Shyster," Patrick repeated curiously. "I thought he was a mackerel."

zzz

Gir made it to the rendezvous point and Zim jumped off without haste. He looked around for the tiny green invertebrate and saw no one in sight. "I have returned with your disgusting krabby patty. Where are you, puny little bug thing?"

From out of the shadows Plankton appeared, "here I am, my friend and here's your package." He motioned for one of his robot minions to appear, holding a long thin object wrapped in what looked to be regular brown wrapping paper.

"Very good," Zim remarked well pleased. "Hand it over."

"Not so fast," Plankton flatly insisted. "First, hand over the patty and then I'll hand you the package."

"No!" Zim argued. "First you hand over my package, and then I'll hand over the patty!"

"Sorry dear pal, but I just don't know if I can trust you," Plankton smoothly explained.

"And I don't know if I can trust you," Zim plainly replied.

"So are we just going to stand here all day?" Plankton crudely asked.

"Doubtful," Zim explained smugly. "As you can see my pet sardine is holding your krabby patty." Gir held up a white paper bag in his hand indicating the burger was inside.

"And…" Plankton impatiently snapped.

"And he's always hungry." Zim said with an evil smile.

But instead of threatening to pop the burger into his mouth as Zim was expecting, Gir flopped down on his butt and groaned. "Oh no master, I couldn't eat another bite."

Suddenly Mister Krabs along with his gang came rushing toward Gir, "Hold it right there! If you hand that krabby patty over to Plankton, vacuumed packed or not, I'll personally rip that metal can off yer hide boy, then I'll keep rippin' yer skin off til there's nothin' left but bone!" Gir then tried to stand up but lost his balance and accidentally dropped the krabby patty as he began to throw up.

"NO!" Krabs yelled as he saw the bag hit the ground; the krabby patty inside came rolling out and headed straight for Plankton. Mister Krabs then yelled what could only be described as a barbaric battle cry and made a mad dash for the patty. But suddenly Plankton's robot army swarmed the area, blocking Krabs or anyone else from taking another step closer to the master; allowing Plankton the chance to finally get his hands on a krabby patty.

"Stop throwing up this instant Gir! Can't you see you're not helping!" Zim ordered as he ignored the others altogether and tried to get to his precious package instead. But the robot holding the package, merely held it high up in the air, and put his other arm out to hold Zim at bay. Gir meanwhile could do nothing else but lean over the curb of the street and spew what seemed to be gallon of vomit from his mouth.

"At last, at last!" Plankton cheered for joy as he picked up the patty that was still neatly wrapped and held it in the air. "It's finally mine!"

"Don't worry Mister Krabs, I'll get that krabby patty away from Plankton!" Spongebob bravely declared as he tried to squeeze between two large robots. But of course the robots easily overpowered Spongebob, picking him up and started to pull him apart. "Too bad that lil sardine fellow used up the last of my robot repellent, oh well."

"Let's see if I can't soothe these robots to sleep," Squidward suggested as he pulled out his clarinet and began to play way off key.

"Squidward stop!" Spongebob shouted as the robots began to get even more violent.

"You're just making them madder!" But Squidward had no choice in the matter as a different robot came over and pulled the clarinet out of his hands then broke it in half and began beating him with one end.

"Humph, everyone's a critic," Afterward Squidward mentioned under his breath as he tried to remove a piece of the clarinet from his behind.

Patrick realized it was all up to him now. "OK everyone," he boldly announced. "It's all up to me now."

He climbed on top of a nearby dumpster and dove off throwing all his weight on his intended victim, Zim who was having no luck with getting his package away from the robot. "Ka-wa-bon-ga!" He landed squarely on Zim with a mighty thud.

Zim struggled to get out from under Patrick but could do little else. "You enjoy hurting me don't you?"

"Why yes, now that you mention it, it is kinda fun." Patrick said with a thoughtful smile.

"Um Patrick," Spongebob kindly offered. "Do you think you could get off the mackerel and try to get that krabby patty away from Plankton instead? It would be kinda helpful."

"Oh, OK Spongebob," the slow starfish said as he got off of Zim and charged head first into one of the robots holding half of Spongebob to the ground. But the robot who was holding the other half of Spongebob stuck out his foot making Patrick tumble to the ground.

"Owee, owee, owee! I got a boo-boo!" Patrick wailed and cried in pain, lifting up his leg and began to suck on his kneecap.

Gir sat up long enough to watch this and rolled his cyan colored eyes. "What a baby!"