The next morning, the world was in chaos.

I was in a daze as we walked through the crowds of Kamino, the others taking me to the cops, letting them know I wasn't kidnapped anymore. My head abuzz with the kind of things I usually tried to avoid thinking about.

it's your fault, you know.

if you'd just done better

if you'd only been a better hero

then it wouldn't have happened…all might wouldn't have…

why Deku? what does he have that I don't? no…that's not…can't be…

I couldn't fight them off…they took me. I made a mistake. I couldn't - I didn't…

"Young man, we're going to need you to answer a few questions, is that all right?"

"Sure."

My voice sounded hoarse from not being used enough. I looked back as we left for just a moment as the others took off. Weird Hair, Icy Hot, Ponytail and Glasses were all headed off towards the station, but Deku had turned around and was watching me. I turned away before our eyes could meet…I don't want you to look at me right now…

I feel so worthless…like somehow I'll never, ever be able to live this all down. Like this'll never go away.

It's your fault, you know.

That kept coming back, no matter how hard I tried to keep it down.

"Can you tell us anything about the league?"

"Like what?"

My voice doesn't sound right…like someone else is talking.

"Anything that could help find them?"

The whole thing was a bit of a blur. What had come afterwards had wiped it all out. Come on, remember. Do something right for on - shut up, shut up…

"FacePalm called the hand on his face 'father'," I said, dragging that up from I don't know where. "Got a look at his face for a second…not a good one." I remembered somehow that the cops had gotten the names of everyone but the Misty bastard and the stitch-faced guy.

"Stitch faced one has some kinda fire quirk," I remembered. NOt that that was helpful, but it was something.

Like you could be any help.

shut up, shut up…

Other random things I remembered about the League, but the rest of that hour blurs together. My head was filled with thoughts like those, and no matter how hard I tried to focus, by that point I was tired.

"Katsuki! Oh, man!"

It was the old lady and ld man. I got hugged, then yelled at ("Some tough hero you are! You have any idea how much trouble you made for everyone?" "Dear, he's tired.") I didn't mean to, but I fell asleep in the car.

And struggled with a bunch of shitty dreams and weird slipping in and out of consciousness.

That went on when I laid down to sleep in my own bed in my own house. I'd fall asleep and have damn nightmares about the villains killing people. Usually All Might, and sometimes they'd use my quirk. Like that bastard called All For One had taken it and was using it. Sometimes his face got blurred with mine and sometimes it was FacePalm doing it…

Then sometimes it was my folks, or the teachers, or my classmates…there were crowds of people shaking their heads, and news outlets saying, "Well you know, that boy was always bad, you know…"

Sometimes it was Deku, with broken arms and everything, jumping into something…and staring at me with those eyes…

Usually I'd wake up then in a cold sweat and be stuck with those thoughts. Those "Why didn't you do better" thoughts. Those It's all your fault thoughts.

And joining my folks was no better, cause the old lady would say the same kinda stuff, the old man would offer me tea like that was gonna help.

Or texting the others, my classmates who were calling in to ask if I was ok. Weird Hair, Raccoon Eyes, Dunce Face, Tape Arms went first, and for some reason it bugged me. Like I didn't deserve to be asked after…

Ears, Ponytail, BirdHead, Glasses, Tail, all of them texted too.

Even Frogface, Uraraka, and IcyHot, and they didn't usually talk to me.

Deku didn't. I mean, I'd always refused to answer if he texted me or called, the one time he'd tried recently. I both wanted him to and didn't. I was both hurt that people were asking and wanted them to ask.

And it kept going through my head, It's all your fault, you know.

We got a letter in the mail a few days later from UA. Apparently we were all getting moved into dormitories.

"Great! They'll get you outta the house at last. You been slouching around way too much! Need discipline!" yapped Mom.

"We'll miss you, Katsuki!" said the old man. "But it'll probably be fun for you!"

Dorms. Stuck in a building with my classmates all the time. I mean, not all of them are annoying. Weird Hair and Dunce Face sometimes…damn, and Weird Hair…Kirishima was one of those idiots who came to rescue me

Who showed up to help me find an easy way out

Dammit, no. They showed up to rescue me.

Kirishima and even Dunce Face. They still annoy the crap outta me but…I don't hate them.

Well, I'd have Glasses on my ass all the time, him and Ponytail acting like they're in charge just cause Deku decided Glasses would be Class Rep and some loser voted for Ponytail…

They both showed up to save your ass too.

Dammit, they did. I owe those two something too. Dammit, dammit…

And I'll have to put up with the other extras too. Like Invisible chick and Raccoon eyes, and they're so loud and annoying…

And raccoon eyes was on your team in the Sports Fest and helped you win, her and tape arms and Kirishima…

And Ears with her stupid insults…but he's nice how she always gets dunce face to shut up…

And damn but Bird Head is pretty damn strong and he doesn't yell or get on my nerves all the time. Frog Face though, she's rude and she insulted me and shit…but she wasn't wrong…

"Bakugou's always angry, so he'll never be that popular."

Dammit, why was she right?

And you'll be stuck with Uraraka, always criticizing everything you do and getting up your ass…

she's so damn cool though. Face it she had you pegged.

And I'll have to put up with Icy Hot all the time, with his stupid smug face.

And he showed up to save your ass too, even though you didn't listen to a damn thing he told you back in those stupid woods.

Worst of all I'll be stuck with Deku all the time, no way to get away for him anymore.

Deku who came to rescue you even when you told him not to, in spite of everything, in spite of two broken arms and damn villains and it being illegal…

Deku who All Might decided was better than me.

Deku who I can't help but care about no matter how much I wanna forget about him…

All that shit went around and around in my head no matter how hard I tried to forget about it.