That night Sena awoke to a dull humming reverberating through the house walls. Yawning tiredly and sleepily rubbing the haze from his eyes, he sat up in bed and pushed aside parchment white curtains to reveal a view of the driveway through his window. His mothers car lay loudly purring in the driveway, still running. Furrowing his brows in confusion, the brown haired teen sat up and pushed the latch on his window aside and pushed up the panel, leaning out to squint at the driver's side window.
A feminine silhouette with its back half facing the window shifted slightly, and then a larger shadow shifted forward to meld with the feminine one. Sena flushed to the roots of his hair and felt a wave of nausea infect his mind. He glanced at the alarm clock flashing innocently on his desk. It was midnight, his mother should've been home at least three hours ago. No wonder she hadn't woken him up when she got home, she had stayed out to..pick up some guy.
'Maybe Dad's back home?...' He thought desperately, once again squinting at the form before drawing back,'no, its impossible. He's in America for at least another two weeks for business.'
'Shit..'
The car's headlights finally switched off but the figures didn't exit from the car. A sick feeling swam slyly through his veins, drawing blood to his head and choking off his windpipe.
His mother was having sex with someone other than his dad. Brain shutdown. Sure he'd heard of such things on talk shows and imagined it for people who had druggies as parents or lived in trailer parks but HIS mom? Having an AFFAIR? It just...something was wrong with the entire picture. It was like a being force-fed a strange substance that you just couldn't swallow because it was too bitter and utterly foreign and..
Tears pricked the corners of Sena's eyes and flowed over to kiss his cheeks. The small boy hurriedly pulled down the window panel and latched it tightly, trying to keep the pain outside, outside in the car where his mother was fucking some stranger while his hero, his father, was on a fucking business trip, working to support their family that was..that had a fucking WHORE of a mother.
Sena felt the hate build inside of him in a uncomfortably hot little core that seemed to build the more he thought about the incident. He wouldn't forgive his mother, he would NEVER forgive his mother for this. Feeling strangely childish, he growled and yanked the curtains back over his window and crossed his arms over his chest, back against the cool glass that leaked through the thin white curtains.
'I hate this... I hate all this sick drama and how fucking UNFAIR everything and everyone is to me and ...what have I done... What did I DO to deserve this?'
Thin shoulders shook with suppressed sobs and Sena stubbornly pushed it down inside into the little backroom in his mind. "I won't let this get to me.." Sena whispered softly, pulling his scarily thin knees to his tanktop-clad chest. "I'm not going to let this pain control me and eat me up inside..God.." He choked on a sob and banged his head against the glass, squeezing shut his eyes.
"Like hell Im going to let you get to me." He spoke numbly to the pain eating away at his insides. Sena hurriedly sat up and smiled dizzily, stumbling to kneel on the floor and feel blindly under his bed before pulling out his old boom box. He once again dug into the mess beneath his bed and dug out a box full of CDs. 'Need something sad, something depressing and suicidal and.. mm..'
His American cd, Finch, seemed to scream at his from the bottom of his small clan of CDS. Sena gripped it tightly in his hand and pried open the case, slipping the cd into his boom box before plugging it in and turning it up loud enough that all other sounds in the house were blocked out, but it wouldn't sound too loud from outside of his room. Humming dejectedly to the first song on the cd, he frowned and looked at the back of the case before turning it to the song Without You Here. He sat back against the side of his bed, reaching blindly in the darkness of his room for the shoebox on his bookshelf only several feet from where he sat on the floor. His fingertips touched the rough cardboard of the box and he grasped it, a shuddery sigh of relief and ecstasy of what was to come escaping from his parted lips.
Sena flipped the lid up on the old shoebox and search through the loose changed to jump when his finger raked over the edge of his sharp razorblade. "Shit.." He murmured before ignoring the paper cut-like pain emanating from his finger, he drew his salvation from the box before carelessly shoving the case to the side. Leaning back once more, he stretched his pale arm before him and eyed it and the way the shadows from the bed didn't reach his wrist, leaving the dull shine of moonlight that somehow pierced through the curtains to bathe his skin.
The razor gleaned seductively as he pressed it to the paper-thin flesh on his wrist. The boy bit his bottom lip till it bled and pressed the edge of the razor into his flesh hard enough for a drop of blood to well up from the indentation the pressure from the razor created. He then drew the blade down at an agonizingly slow pace until the nerves sang with warning and his arm twitched. Sena stubbornly held his arm still and continued dragging the blade painfully through his flesh, wounds deep enough the blood immediately welled from the torn flesh and flowed over to leave crimson rivulets gathering on the underside of his arm.
Finally he stopped the painful process and let his afflicting arm fall to his side, razor held limply between his slim fingers. Mind screaming with warning and bile rising to sting his throat mercilessly, he watched with a dull smile as his wrist erupted in crimson tears and trembled in pain. Feeling slightly dizzy from blood loss, but otherwise fine, Sena once again raised the razor to this time quickly criss-cross crimson lines across the larger cut. The end result was cuts that would scar over to look like stitches. The pale boy smiled tiredly, all anger and pain and desperation having mercifully drained from his during his process of cleansing.
Carefully keeping his wounded appendage on his thighs to prevent the blood from leaving telltale stains on his carpet, he drifted into an uneasy slumber.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o
'Saturday...' Sena thought blurrily, opening his eyes to loll his head back on the edge of his bed. Dull amber eyes took in his white ceiling before flickering to his right at his bedroom door.
Looks like his mom hadn't come in to wake him up. Realization struck him like a mace to the head and he laughed breathlessly, throwing his injured arm over his eyes as his nose was assaulted with the copper-like stench of dried blood.
'Of course, she was probably with HIM all night...'
"How twisted can this pathetic life become?" He murmured in sick amusement to himself before sitting up, angrily brushing the tears from his aching eyes. Speaking of aching eyes...Sena gingerly pushed the pads of his fingers at the lids beneath his eyes. They were swollen and hot compared to the rest of his face. Looks like he had a cried a lot last night. 'Great..' He thought sarcastically, standing unsteadily, legs trembling as he gained his bearings and stretched.
His slim stomach growled imploringly and he grunted in reply, scratching the flaking blood from his wrists and wincing as the swollen wounds stung in protest before weeping clear liquid mixed lightly with blood. Sena stumbled to his closet and pulled a oversized long sleeved plain black shirt of his head so the sleeves hung a good three inches past his wrists and the hem to his upper thighs. He then chose his then-baggy, now-loose school pants from yesterday, ignoring the stiffness of the invisible dried bloodstain near the thigh, over his boxers.
He ran shaking hands through his permanently mussed hair and opened his door to walk into the near-adjoining bathroom. Shutting the door behind himself, he narrowed his eyes in distaste at his reflection. He looked a tad paler than usual, in what every assumed was naturally uber fair skin, and noticeably dark bags outlined his lower lids that were slightly red from his crying last night. His bony shoulders jutted slightly from his loose shirt and his brunette hair hung messily in all directions, limper than usual and hanging in his eyes annoyingly.
"Gotta look happy Sena.." He told his reflection with a mocking smile than a laugh at his own drowsiness. He mechanically washed his face, cooling the heat under his eyes and waking himself slightly. He then ran wet fingers through his hair, making it come to life slightly but leaving the hair hanging over his eyes to hide the shadows.
Sena plucked distastefully at his shirt but then shrugged,"Fuck it..." And exited the bathroom, freezing when he saw his mother mulling around the kitchen and humming cheerfully to herself.
Sena frowned and nibbled at his bottom lip, making a beeline for the front door. His mother turned in a flurry of pink frills and a frying pan with cooking eggs. She smiled largely and set the pain on the stove top, slipping off her oven mits to walk forward and capture her son in a hug.
Body rigid, Sena glared into the material of his mother's apron.
"Morning Honey, sorry I didn't wake you up for school earlier! I slept in a bit today and forgot to set the alarm."
"Mom, today is Saturday, remember?"
The pretty woman pulled back and flushed slightly," I completely forgot! Well, I guess this means I don't have work today either."
Sena nodded and shrugged before once again heading for the door, his mother frowned,"Well, aren't you going to say good morning to me?"
The short teen hesitated before glancing over his shoulder with a small fake smile,"I'm going to the park to hang out with my friends, is that ok?"
His mother's smile came back full force,"Of course honey, you have fun and remember, if you want to bring your friends over for dinner tonight we have plenty of food and you can rent a movie too-"
"Alright mom!" Sena laughed tightly, walking outside and slamming the door behind himself and hissing in frustration when he heard his mom begin singing cheerfully behind the door inside the kitchen, unfazed by her son's behavior.
A boy from school Sena didn't recognize stood in his front yard a few houses down from Sena, playing baseball with his younger sibling. He waved at Sena with a smile and paused to walk to the edge of his lawn. Sena smiled and paused.
"Yo! Sena, right?"
"Hai! Its nice to see you.."
"Takashi."
"Ah, Takashi sempai! I didn't even recognize you with the baseball cap on!" Sena said, realization spiking through him. It was the upperclassmen's Student Council Secretary. They had partnered in gym a lot a couple years back in middle school.
"Hehe, long time no see, chicken legs!"
Sena blushed at the nickname and smiled, looking at the younger version of his old friend,"Is this your little brother?"
"Yeah, he's a baseball addict just like his older brother,"Takashi smiled, stepping back to ruffle the youngsters hair.
"Well, its nice to see that you have something productive to do on a Saturday,"Sena blushed happily.
Takashi grinned,"Bored?"
The shorter shrugged in reply,"Im going to the park to meet some friends."
"Ah, say hi to Monta kun for me won't you?"
Sena blinked and flushed again, and Takashi laughed at his shyness,"I watch your football games."
"H-how did you-?"
"Well you're the Team Manager aren't you?"
"O-oh! Hai!"Sena laughed nervously.
Takashi eyed him and shrugged before turning and waving over his shoulder,"Well see you around then!"
"Ja Ne!"Sena smiled, mentally scolded himself for sounding like such a geek. 'Of course, I'm the frail little Team Manager..of course. What were you thinking Sena?'
o0o0o0o0o0o
Kinda a filler chapter to add more angst... in the next chapter, im not going to give it all away but Sena will encounter Hiruma and there will be a bit of a confrontation but you'll just have to find out -shifty eyes- Thank you so much for the reviews !;-; Im so happy that people are faithfully reviewing every update I make because without all the reviews I would probably not update as much, as little as I update already!;-;
And my friend NNCS just pmed me on and I was so happy so I must say thank you! Uber Thank you! ;-; I was extremely happy to hear from you after all this time and Im glad your still reading my fics!
