Sena hummed lightly to the song Post Script from his Finch cd, fingers tapping along on the case to his cd player hidden in the pocket of his pants, headphones strung hazardously outside to fit over his ears hidden beneath hair that badly needed cut.
Saturday had come and gone, involving him saying goodbye to Takashi and laying on the grass in a secluded section of the city's park, watching the wind drift through tree branches and mulling over the recent tragedies in his life.
Returning home he had noticed that his mom's car missing from the driveway and a note tacked to the front door explaining that she had gone out to have dinner with some friends and she wouldn't be back too late. The note was tactfully ignored in favor of returning to his self-proclaimed sanctuary, his room.
Sunday turned out to be just as shitty as the day before, his mom remembering to wake him up and forced him to eat a platefull of eggs and toast before he went out to 'hang out with his friends.'
So Sena found himself laying in the exact same spot he had discovered yesterday, a carefree smile gracing his lips as he watched the sky through the thick foliage of one of the park's many oak trees.
'I missed practice this morning, I wonder if anyone noticed.' Stupid question, Mamori had tried calling him five times on his cell before finally giving up and leaving a text message asking him to call her back as soon as possible. Another call had been from Kurita, but he had left no message.
Hiruma hadn't bothered to call... Sena worried at his bottom lip before rolling onto his side and allowing his eyelids to drift halfway shut as his frail fingers toyed with a blade of green grass.'That's a little too much to hope for, Sena..' The teen thought with a dry chuckle.
A pair of worn sneakers abruptly obstructed his vision and the short boy started, shooting into sitting position and pushing his headphones back to rest on the fringes of the hood of his sweatshirt.
Amber eyes slowly trailed up to land on a dark-haired boy.
"Takashi sempai!"
"Hai!"The other boy replied cheerfully, plopping his backpack in the grass before settling down beside the other boy."I saw you laying here and decided to come join you."
Sena flushed and hurriedly searched for the pause button as the mix cd began to play Stitches from the american band, Orgy. Takashi's face brightened in recognition and he grasped the other boy's hand, smiling happily,"It looks like we have the same taste in music, Sena kun."
The brunette blinked before returning the smile, scratching at his baggy sweatshirt sleeve self consciously. "You listen to American bands?"
"Of course! Lot's of people in our class do!" The other retorted, playfully elbowing the other before unzipping his backpack and digging through the contents inside.
'Takashi sempai is so open with invading other's personal space...'Sena mused with a sweatdrop, watching the other search frantically.
"Ano..Takashi sempai?"
"Please just call me Takashi! Sempai sounds so formal and since we're friends I don't think sempai should be my title."
"H-hai...What are you looking for?"
"Aha!"The other exclaimed victoriously, pulling a bulky leather case from his bag. Sena eyed it curiously and brightened when Takashi unzipped it to reveal its contents.
The shorter boy turned one of the many pages which held cds, smiling in wonder. Takashi sniffed proudly and sat back, watching his newfound friend drink in his pride and joy.
Sena paused when he started to notice burned cds labeled Orgy and Evanescence, along with Otep and Jack off Jill.
"I've only heard of one of these bands, if I remember correctly.."
Takashi leaned in, resting his chin on Sena's shoulder and missing the blush that darkened the boy's cheeks,"Ah! They're all really good bands... You have to listen to them! You can borrow them if you want."
"Oh no- I mean... I might damage them.."Sena whispered sadly, eyeing the cds longingly.
The dark haired boy laughed,"Sena chan, these cds have been gathering dust since baseball season started. Im sure they could use some breaking in! Seriously though, don't worry about it, they're already got battle scars, see?" He held up one as evidence. It had light scratches adorning it fornt and back. Sena blinked and laughed along with Takashi.
"I do see. Arigatou Takashi se- kun." The other waved him off and pushed the entire case of cds into his hands, leaning back against a large tree trunk.
"No problem, I've never shared them with anyone before since there was no one to share them with!"
Sena froze and studied the other's face, taking in the seemingly permanent smile,"B-but youre-"
"On the student board? Yeah... I get that a lot. I just don't fit in with most of the other students at our school. I have mood swings a lot, ya know?"
Blinking cautiously, Sena nodded while still riffling through the cds, not really looking at them.
"My parents got divorced a couple months ago... and I... I dunno. I guess I'm just being stupid, ne?"Takashi chuckled, looking up at the sky and shielding his eyes from the sun with his arms. Sena paled, recognizing the tell tale scars on the other boy's arms. Takashi looked at the other's expression and blinked, lowering his arm and eyeing it with a sad smile.
"Ah... these are pretty old... It was a couple years ago when my parents started fighting."
"H-How can you be so casual about it?" Sena whispered brokenly, eyes tracing the self inflicted scars.
His companion leaned in close and lay a large calloused hand on his small shoulder, Sena looked into the other's kind brown eyes. "Cause I got over it, ya know? I realized that Im not the only one hurting and... Me hurting myself...it..it felt good at the time, but it never brought me ultimate satisfaction. I c-couldn't... couldn't stop the pain by bringing more... My little brother walked in on me... one night... and I... He's still the only one I talk to about it."
"Your little-"
"Yeah, he's just a little guy, inn't he? He's the most grownup little kid I know."Takashi smiled fondly, biting his lower lip as he pulled sweatbands from his bag and pulled them back over his wrists."So, I still have him and that's enough for me.."
Sena's eyes filled with tears and he clenched his hands around his sleeves, looking at the ground as he sniffed quietly.
"You have people who love you too, ya know, Sena chan."
The brunette snapped his head around to stare at his friend, hands beginning to tremble,"N-nani?"
Takashi vaguely gestured at Sena's sweatshirt clad arms,"you don't need to depend on stuff like that. Im sure your friends and family would be very sad if they knew.."
Amber eyes narrowed and Sena frowned, standing and eyeing the other," I don't know what you're talking about, Takashi sempai."
"Hiruma san called me the other day and told me that you needed some help-"
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING!" Sena screamed, hands fisting in his hair as he stared unseeingly at the ground."HOW WOULD HE KNOW THAT!"
Takashi sat up, eyes filled with concern, only to fall back when Sena's glare returned on him full-force."DID YOU TELL HIM!"
"Sena, how would I tell him?..He was the one who contacted me.."
The short boy growled and kicked the boys cd case at him,"Im not some fucking INVALID, Takashi SAN. I can't believe Hiruma san would...would betray me in such a way. I suggest you keep this to yourself."
"Hiruma already KNOWS, Sena. He just wants to help-"
"Then why isn't HE the one here talking to me right now!"
"Because he knows that I went through the same thing and he just thought that-"
"Takashi san.."Sena broke in coldly, looking away from the other and sliding back on his headphones,"you have no IDEA what I am going through and suggest you keep your fucking philosophies and self-help shit to yourself. What I do to myself is my, and only my business. I don't want to ever see or talk to you again, and if you try to make any sort of contact with me, I'll fucking..."The brunette shook his head jerkily and left, not turning back to see the other's expression.
Several blocks away the teen stopped and leaned against the a fenced tree near the sidewalk, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Keening silently, Sena slammed his fist into the iron fence and continued on, pulling his hood up and low enough to cover his face, feeling safe inside of the warm shield from the outside world.
'Fuck them. FUCK them. I don't need Hiruma or Takashi or fucking Mamori and they're shit-faced lies and 'help'. I have all I need right here. Right here inside of my fucking self.'
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Perhaps I shall add in a suicide attempt...I dunno... this chapter really got me going cause an extremely similar situation happened to me and ... made me very sad and feel betrayed and blah. So this story is becoming uncomfortably similar to my experiences and ...ne.
Please review and tell me what you think.
