A/N: Alright, I'm sorry for not updating… it's not my fault, I couldn't log in. J/K. I've been putting this off for awhile because I couldn't think of anymore ideas. But here you go; the fourth chapter. I hope you're satisfied!

Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own anything and defenatly not "Whisper" by Evanesence.


Chapter 4: Alone

Ray's POV:

How can she make me feel this way? From the moment she left my life, she's been in everything i've seen, heard, or smelt. She's been avoiding me like the plage for about a month now. It's so strange not being able to talk to her. I used to be able to say anything, at anytime. I try to sleep at night but it's so hard because everytime I close my eyes she's in my head; talking to me, crying with me, telling me how much she really needs me.

Why do I give myself such torture? It doesn't make sense. I know that she doesn't want me in her life. I know that she doesn't want me close to her. And I damn sure know that she doesn't need me. That's why I love her. Because she's so damn independant.

But once I talk myself into believing that she doesn't need me, my mind keeps going back to the times where I'd hold her as she'd cry for so long, when I'd stay up with her because she couldn't sleep, or even to the very reason I'm in this mess. She needed a place to live and I was the one who had that place to live.

I can't give her all the blame for this, though. I needed someone to help me with the rent. Is that all? Is that the only reason that I need her? Then, I guess it was. Or at least at first. As time would go on, my need for her would gradually increase. Soon enough, she was the very reason I even got up in the morining.

I can't even get the morning routine out of my head. I can't get up in the morning with out making coffee the way she always liked it. I never personally liked it, but i still drink it now because she used to drink it. I feel like a damn lunitic. I even keep the place clean in memory of her. Not only because I'm so used to being nagged at for leaving something on the floor, but also because she taught me to clean when you can't sleep, clean when you're upset, and clean when you need to think something through. And I have defenately been having a lot of those moments. Who am I fooling? I have those moments every moment of every day.

Let's just face it, I'm so alone without her. I'm nothing without her. Without her, I might as well be dead because there's no other reason in the world to be alive than her. If only I could've learned her paitence. I'm so snippy with everybody. Even with Abby. She's the only one who let's me know when I'm scaring the kiddies.

Narrator's POV:

Every woman comes to a point in their lives where they feel the need to scetch. Neela, not being a very artistic kind of a person, never thought she'd every have to go through that. Sure, she had been through some very trying times, but she always found ways around scetching. There was always something to clean. Problem was for the past month or so she'd been cleaning Abby's everyday constantly and now there really wasn't anything else to clean. So, after much mupping around, she had finally come to the idea of doing some scetching.

She went to a nearby art supply shop and brought a scetch pad and pencils and set to work. She cleared the living room and sat on the floor, grabbed her ipod and put her music on full blast. Normaly, she would say that turning music on full blast is riddiculus because it was a poor way to loose your hearing, but today it was the only way she could seclude herself from the real world.

Maybe it's just on of those inborne things that you don't have to teach anyone; women and scetching eyes seem to be one of them. Neela was not exempt from this. She hadn't meant for it to be an eye, but it was. She hadn't meant it to be anything. She just sat down and listened to her music and separated herself from what she was doing.

After all, eyes are the windows to a person's soul. Eyes show feelings, truth, and life. So it made sense that her eye that she was scetching had tears in it. Every time she thought of the last thing he said to her on the roof made her cry.

"I never been jealous of another man before, untill now. Michael is truly a very lucky man."

Neela's POV:

I thought I had everthing under control. I was so sure that I was doing the 'right' thing. I'm married, I shouldn't be living with Ray and acting like a total college student. I should be living in my own place with Michael by my side. With Michael! That's what my damn problem is! Michael left me to continue his 'duty'.

But did he listen? Of course not! He's so blinded by he's solider's will to even think about staying here with me.

XxFlash BackxX

"I need to be out there. I can't be here while the war's still going on. I'm sorry, but I can't sit here while there's still more action going on over there. It's my duty as a solider."

"Duty! What about me! You married me, have you forgotten that! You're a husband, Michael. My husband! You 'duty' first and foremost is to me, your wife!"

Xx End Flash BackxX

Narrator's POV:

All the while she was thinking back to the times that Michael was still at home with her, her ipod was screaming in her ear.

...this truth drives me into madness

I know I can stop the pain

If I will it all away,

If I will it all away.

Don't turn away,

Don't give into the pain.

Don't try to hide,

though they're screaming your name.

Don't close your eyes,

God knows what lies behind them.

Don't turn out the light,

never sleep never die.

I'm frightened by what I see

but somehow I know that there's much more to come.

Immobilized by my fear,

and soon to be blinded by tears.

I can stop the pain if i will it all away.

If only it was that simple. Neela always dealt with emotional pain that way before. Just will it all away or act like it doesn't exist. But now, even that didn't help. There was no one to tell her that it was all alright. Ray wasn't there for her to comfort her and to hold her in his arms. Nobody was there, it was just her, all by herself. Once again, she'd half to pull herself out of this. She was falling and there was no one to break her fall.

Riiiiinnnngg!

Even through the blaring music, she could still hear the phone ring. Quickly she turned off her ipod at went to the phone. Before she got answered the phone she could tell that something was wrong. What was wrong, she couldn't say but she knew something was wrong. Nothing good calls after 9 at night.

"Hello?"

"Yes, is this Neela Gallant?"

"Yes, this is her."

"I'm am sorry to imform you that your husband, Michael Gallant, was killed in action by a roadside bomb. He was killed instantly..."

Neela didn't hear the rest of what the chaplin had to say. The phone slipped from her grasp and fell on the floor. Slowly, she could feel herself drifting away, slipping into darkness.

Once again there was no one to catch her as she fell. There was no one to tell her that it was all over now. She had fallen on rock bottom and she really was alone.


A/N: You know the drill. Push the little button and make me happy!