Gavin had gone all over town just killing some time, he knew exactly what he wanted to do, and time was the only thing that he had left in his way. He had to meet Haley at 5, he looked at the clock in the car, and it read: 4:23. He couldn't wait any longer; he parked his car and headed to Karen's Café. When he walked in, he noticed that Karen had a disappointed look on her face to see him. He walked over to her, "Don't worry, I am not here to see you. I am looking for Hallie."
"Haley? And to tell you the truth with the damage that you have caused, I rather you be here for me."
"Sorry, you are a little old and motherly for me."
Karen was totally disgusted and appalled. And she could not believe that this was the one that Peyton was dating; this is who she had resorted to. Karen knew that Peyton had trouble in the 'I love you' category, but Gavin? Gavin one name? This is who she is with? As much as it hurt her to say it, Karen wished that Peyton was alone, it was better then being with a guy that treats her like shit. "Haley is upstairs, her shift it over."
"Okay, well it was nice talking to you. Good luck with that younger guy thing, and I will see you later."
Karen did not even respond to him, she just let him walk away. Only because she could not see the future and she did not know what was yet to come.
Gavin walked upstairs and heard someone singing; he made it over to the stage and saw Haley on the keyboard singing away. He could see tears coming out of her eyes. Gavin let Haley finish her song and then when she was done he applauded her, "Bravo, bravo, way to go. And to imagine you left the tour with a voice like that."
Gavin startled Haley when he started clapping at her, she did not know what to do, she did not want to be in this situation right now, she did not want to be alone with Gavin. "What do you want?" she asked disgusted to see him before her.
"I am here to practice, remember, you sing, I play guitar, we make a hell of a team," he laughed walking towards her.
"Karen said that we were practicing at 5, and with the whole band. It is not even 4:30. What are you doing here?" she asked automatically tensing up.
"Why can't I be early, I am a dedicated man, what can I say."
"Say I am leaving until 5, because if you don't then I am," she started walking towards the stairs, but Gavin blocked her pathway. "Get out of my way," she said as firmly as she could, she did not look up at him, nor did she tense up, not yet at least.
"I came to talk to you, and we have yet to talk, I am not moving until we talk."
"Well I do not want to talk to you."
"Not an option."
"Last time we 'talked' you had your hand around my neck, I couldn't breath. I really do not want a repeat of that," she said looking up at him, now being to tense up, she could swear she could feel his hand around her neck as he spoke, she put her own hand on her neck to reassure herself that it was not.
"Well if you did not struggle so much then it would not have been a problem."
"What do you possibly have to say to me?"
"I just want to talk Haley. What is so wrong with that?"
"Do I have to remind you again about you almost killing me? And there is nothing that you could possibly have to tell me that I want to hear." She tried to pass him with all of her force but he flung her back, and she almost fell to the ground, but she caught herself, but her apron that she had yet to take off, fell to the ground in her place.
"Okay, you do not seem to be listening to me. If I want to talk, we are going to talk and we are not leaving this room until we do. So stop trying any of your shit."
Haley did not respond, she was scared again, she did not want to be in this situation at all, but she did not know what to do. She stood there, waiting for him to talk first, but he just stared her down. She felt uncomfortable.
"Peyton apparently cares about this kid Nathan, I cannot tell you why. But she cares about him for some reason. And you are hurting him. That is not acceptable; I cannot let this go on. All you do is cause people around you pain. No matter where you are or who you are with, you cause others pain. I just think that you should have stayed on that tour of yours, because you coming back has done nothing but ruin other people's lives. They were a lot happier when you were gone, away from here."
"What are you the enforcer? Have I caused too much pain and now you are here to do something about it? Please, don't even answer that, because that is a load of shit. You have no right to do this; this is not your place."
"Oh it is my place; you make people that I care about miserable."
"You care about people, ha; do you even know what that means?"
"Peyton, my girlfriend, remember her, yeah, she is not happy. I care about her and she is not happy, so I need to do something about that."
"Wait a second. Did I hear you right? You care about Peyton?" she was mocking him, there was no more room for fear, she tried humor or at least sarcasm, "You really seemed to care about her when she was passed out on cocaine last night, and you were all over me. And I have known Peyton a hell of lot longer then you have. If you looked up unhappy in a dictionary, Peyton's picture would be next to it. Her mother died on the way to pick her up when she was 7, and her dad is a no-show in her life. The guy that actually cared about her, the guy that she loved left her alone in this world. So do not tell me that I have caused her pain. She has been feeling it since the day that her mother died."
"You have no right to say that. You have no rights at all. You need to leave Tree Hill, get away from here, because no one loves you here, no one wants you here. Nathan, your husband, he rather have you dead then love you," that cut her like a knife in her heart. But it was already in a million pieces that it just went through a little more.
"What can you possibly do to me?"
"Are you really asking me this? I can hurt you worst then you can even fathom."
"I am not scared of your threats Gavin. Bring them on. Whatever you tell me, it won't cause me anymore pain then I am already going through. I wake up and that is all I feel until I go to sleep at night. So please Gavin, throw something at me, try and hurt me, I dare you."
"Do not tell me what to do," Gavin hated being told what to do, especially by someone of the opposite gender; he went at her full speed.
With every step that he took Haley looked directly into his eyes and she saw evil, and they were glazed over. She tried to get out of his path, put she failed and she was flung into a table, and then fell to the ground. Haley struggled to get away from Gavin's grip on her, his hands held her arms above her head. She tossed and turned, just trying to get away from him, but he was stronger then she ever would be, "I do not know how you wake up each morning knowing how much you hurt Nathan. You have been here for two months, two months, and how many times have you talked to him? Zero, zero times. You live with yourself each day knowing you hurt him and that he doesn't love you anymore. No one loves you, live with that."
"I do," she yelled at him, "I live with it everyday of my life," with all this anger and pain she was able to push Gavin off of her. She pulled back, dragging her feet, but she got up, while Gavin was still lying on the ground. "Do not tell me about pain, please, hold your breath. You know what? You want to hear something? Just like Peyton is in the dictionary under unhappy, my picture would be next to pain. That is all I feel, pain is what I felt for the last four months of my life, and I do not know what anything else feels like anymore. So do not tell me that I do not know what it feels like, because I could write a book," she did not know what to feel, it hurt her with each word she was saying, because all of it was true, and all of it was her life.
"You deserve it, all of it."
"I know that, and that is what I have to live with everyday. Music is the only thing that gets me through the day; it is the only thing that I have left. Please do not take this away from me. It is the only thing that gets me through the day."
"It is out of my control; your fate has already been decided. The pain that you get is what you deserve. And if the only thing you have left for you happens to go away, then that is what has already been planned for you."
"Then this is just my life's plan, and I just need to live with it?" she stumbled backwards, it hurt too much to even stand, she backed up and nearly fell down the stairs. She looked back at Gavin, and she almost lost it. But she was not going to cry in front of him, he did not deserve her tears.
Karen was helping some customers when she heard what seemed like a crash coming down the stairs. She turned and looked and saw that it was Haley; she quickly apologized to her customers and ran over to where Haley was struggling to even function.
Haley missed the last step and fell forward towards the ground only to be caught by a bystander. Karen got there a few seconds later and thanked the man. She held onto Haley, and put her hands on her face and looked into her eyes, she tried to find some glimmer of anything else, but all she could see was sadness and pain.
Haley tried to hold it in, all of it, but no person could ever support the pain of the world that Haley was holding in, she looked into Karen's eyes and she crumbled to the ground, Karen holding on with every crash and fall. Karen held onto Haley through ever tremor and convulsion, and it pained her to see and feel someone that she considered a daughter going through all of this pain. She felt like Lucas that night in the café two months ago, she felt helpless. All she could do was hold on and never let go.
Peyton went all across Tree Hill trying to get everything on the writer for Jimmy Eat World. She looked at the clock in her car, and it was almost 5, she wanted to make sure that she was there just in case Gavin had a run in with Haley. As much as she disliked Haley, there was only so much pain that a person could go through, and she really did not want Haley to feel the wrath of Gavin. She parked her car outside of the café, grabbed some supplies and entered. The first thing that she noticed when she walked in was the silence, it was very quiet and not many people were talking. A lot of eyes were directed at one thing but Peyton had yet to determine what it was. She paused and realized she heard one thing and one thing only, she heard a girl sobbing. Just from where she stood, Peyton felt the pain of the girl; the sobs tore her heart apart. Peyton knew what pain was, so she knew that whatever this girl was going through it had forever changed her life. The girl hurt. Peyton walked a little further and she almost fell backwards when she saw the scene in front of her. She saw Haley, broken and fragile, sobbing in Karen's arms. She saw Haley, broken and fragile, breaking apart.
Karen looked up and her eyes went directly to Peyton's. Karen knew that Gavin went upstairs to Tric and that Haley was up there as well. Karen knew the destruction and pain that he could cause, and she knew that Gavin had something to do with Haley's sorrow. So looking into Peyton's eyes knowing that her boyfriend was the cause of the girl is her arm's pain, it was hard to fathom.
Peyton got a gist of what Karen was telling her with her eyes, and she did not even know what to do. Peyton had been contributing to Haley's pain; there was no way that she could suddenly be there for her. She never was before; today was not the day to start. She felt like her feet were glued to the ground because she tried to walk away from the scene in front of her but she couldn't. It was this moment in time that she realized something. There was no way that Nathan could be hurting as much as Haley hurt. Because the person sobbing in front of her was beyond pain that she can deal with and just keep in. She was beyond pain. And Peyton had no idea what to do.
Haley sobs lessened and soon they came to a complete stop, she had no control over them, they poured out as if it was the only chance for them ever to come out. But it hurt too much to do anything else, each day was a struggle, and she had one glimmer of hope when she went to sleep and that there were no more then the morning tears. She just felt that it meant that was a day that she wasn't thinking about it as much, but today was not one of those days.
She looked up into Karen's eyes and the older women did not speak, what could she possibly say to the girl in her arms. Haley looked from Karen to Peyton, who was this girl in front of her? Yeah, they were both girls, little girls lost in this large world that they live in. And the world was not their friend, not today, not yesterday, not in a long time. When Haley looked into Peyton's eyes, she thought that she might look away, but the eyes were locked between the two girls. And they would have been for longer if their eye lock was not interrupted by someone entering the café.
That someone was Brooke, she had time to think and she really needed to talk to Haley, she needed to tell her that she couldn't let whatever she was feeling in any longer, because in the long run she was going to hurt worst then she already did. But she did not even have to tell her when she walked into the café she saw Haley on the ground in Karen's arms and she knew that she was too late. She rushed over to where they were and knelt down; not even registering that Peyton was standing there before them. "What happened? Talk to me sweetheart," she had a concerned look on her face, Peyton could see the concern across her face and noticed that Brooke cared about Haley. And it made her remember that Brooke had been there for her a lot more then she gave her credit for. Peyton had been through more then the average person, but Brooke was there almost every step of the way…and she didn't have to be.
Haley looked up at Brooke, the last time that she had saw her was after the rain incident earlier, and then she bolted off and ignored her for the rest of the time. Yet she was still here in front of her, worried about her, concerned for her, there for her. And she could not say that about many people in her life. Brooke deserved the truth, but the only problem being was that Haley did not know what that was, but she gave the best attempt that she could, "The truth hurts, but when it is all that you feel, it cuts deeper, it cuts into the soul, it cuts into the heart. When the heart is already broken, it is hard to put it back together again. And it no longer is pain, it is life." She looked up at Brooke and it looked like she was the one that was going to cry, tears were forming in the brims of her eyes, but before the tears could attempt to fall, Haley reached up and brushed them away, "Save those tears for another day, I am not worth them."
Brooke let out a sad laugh, "I am supposed to be the one to wipe the tears away from your eyes and yet you are brushing mine away."
"All you want to do is help me out, all you want to do is be there for me and yet I am pushing you away, I am giving you nothing, and you do not deserve it, and neither do you," Haley said looking up in the eyes of the person that she admired the most.
"Sweetheart, all I want is for you to be happy, that is all I want, and it is not happening right now, and I am here for you, we are here for you. And we know that a broken heart does not magically mend over night, it will take time and we are here for that time. We love you Haley, I hope that you know that."
"I do," she looked from Brooke to Karen and then up to Peyton whose eyes was still at hers. Haley began to stand up from the position that she was sitting in, she stumbled a little but Brooke was there to stabilize her, and held her just a little longer just to make sure. Haley walked over to Peyton, and said nothing at first. She knew that Peyton was not in the right place in her life, she knew that Peyton was intentionally causing her pain because of some vendetta against her. But she also knew that this was not the Peyton that she knew. She finally spoke and it was not to yell at her or to tell her to leave, she told her, "I am sorry that I hurt you, I am sorry that you hurt, but you are not alone. It took me awhile to figure that out, but it is true. There are people going through the same thing and there are people that aren't that are willing to help you through it."
Peyton did not know how to respond to Haley in front of her. This was the girl that her boyfriend had caused hell to and she was standing in front of her apologizing to her, to her? She could not deal with this right now; she could not interact with Haley until things were figured out with Gavin. All that he did was cause pain, and there has come to a point that Peyton feared what he would do next. "I can't do this right now; I have got to go see Gavin."
