"Peyton, listen to me, Gavin is not the answer. Give yourself time to be alone without someone to rely on or be there. And you will see you do not need to depend on some guy that treats you like shit," Brooke said looking at her, she was trying to help, she was trying to see if her best former friend was still in that body in front of her.
But before anyone could respond, Gavin just happened to come down the stairs, and he had heard what Brooke had said, and anger was in his eyes. "You are letting little miss no one loves me talk about me like that?" That hit Brooke like a ton of bricks, because as much as Gavin was an asshole, he was speaking the truth, and like Haley said, the truth hurt.
Peyton did not respond to him, nor did she look up at him, she did not know what to tell him with out making him madder then he already was. But he was going to be mad no matter what. And he was when she did not respond; he went closer to her and lifted up her chin roughly forcing her to look into his eyes, into those evil eyes. "Answer me," he said even more roughly grabbing her chin, but apparently she did not answer fast enough because Gavin pushed her back still holding on to her chin.
"Leave her alone," Brooke said approaching Gavin trying to act unaffected by his words, all she wanted to do was be there for her friend, "she does not have to defend the words that I said to you," she tried to pull his tight grip off of Peyton, but this resulted in Brooke ending up on the ground from the force of the blow from Gavin's arm. Karen was quickly by her side, there to help her up, making sure that she was okay, this was the second time in the matter of 24 hours that she was thrown to the ground because of Gavin. Peyton watched this whole thing occur and could helplessly do nothing. "Peyton, you deserve better then him," Brooke tried to tell her from where she stood behind Gavin, looking directly into Peyton's eyes.
"Tell her that she is lying Peyton, tell her now, or so help me God."
"Gavin, think about what you are saying, think about what you are doing," Karen told him, "You are in the middle of my café, there are 30 people staring at you, please do not make more of a scene then you already have. And please just let Peyton go," Karen said this as firm and strong as possible, she looked into Peyton's eyes. She looked at the tight grip that he had on her, she looked at her fear that spread across her face.
Gavin looked around, not loosening up his grip but he stared down all the people that were staring at him. And he realized that Peyton wouldn't disobey him, that whatever he asked her to do, she would do, because she was the one that did not want the scene caused.
Since Karen had defiantly stepped closer to Gavin and Peyton, Brooke went back closer to Haley, and held on to her hand, telling her in no words that she was there for her and she was proud that she could stand up to Peyton.
"Tell her she is lying Peyton, and I will not cause a scene. I know you live for the attention though. Any chance you can get to have someone, anyone's eyes on you; you are on top of that. So tell me Peyton, tell me and the whole café here, that your friend back there is lying out of her ass. You need me, you know you do, just admit it, and we can just move on with our lives."
As much as Peyton did not want to admit it, Gavin pretty much hit the nail on the head; she was always alone, especially since her mom died, she tried to grab onto as many people as would let her. Jake, was her one true love and he had left her, after that she stopped believing in love, she just believed that if anything bad was possibly going to happen, it would. It was just her luck. She hated being alone, and after all of her missteps in love she just grabbed on to any one who would hold her back, no matter who that person was, no matter how bad that person treated her. "I need you," with no emotion in her voice.
That is all that she needed to say and he let her go, and she did not collapse in pain, or have tears of relief, she just looked from the set of eyes staring at her, Karen, Brooke, and then Haley, and there was nothing left to do…but to walk away. And that is what she did, she left the trio standing there wondering what was going on in that head of hers, but the thoughts were all that they could have tonight. She went up to Tric because she needed to get things ready, the band would be there soon and the only thing to make matters worse would to not make Jimmy Eat World happy tonight.
Gavin stared the girls down as well, but he turned to leave, but not before hitting the nail into the coffin for Haley, "You lose, no one loves you, did you forget you were married when you left? I think Nathan did," he laughed and just stared her down; she was too weak to walk away or say anything to defend herself, especially since every word that he had ever told her, she felt daily, he was just saying it out loud for the world to hear.
Brooke was not scared of this coward in front of her, no matter what he did to her, it did not matter, what mattered was that he was hurting his friends, and that was not something that she was going to take lightly. Stepping in front of Haley, to somehow protect her with her almost as small body frame, "You have done enough damage to last a lifetime, walk away, leave Haley alone," she gave him a little shove to start him in the right direction away from there.
Gavin turned around and left Brooke with this, "You are just jealous because you are alone, and Peyton has someone to be there for her. Unlike you with that Lucas guy. So you need to stay out of it and worry about yourself little girl, because being an alone little girl in the world is a scary thing."
Brooke let it slid, but she did not let it past.
Gavin was getting deep into the hearts of Tree Hill's three most heartbroken. And no one needed to be in their hearts, except the one who was going to put the pieces back together. Gavin was not that person.
Karen made sure that Gavin was completely upstairs before she said anything at all. First, she did not know what to do, there had just been a commotion in her café, and the whole place was left to wonder what was going on. Nevertheless, this was not there place to wonder, she chose not to say anything. She had to just stand there and take everything in, and think. The three girls that were the most important to her, they were all hurting, and she felt that with everything that she was doing, the pain just hurt more. And she tried to figure out who needed her help the most, who was in the most pain, but that was not something that she could do, each girl was suffering in their own pain, and there was no one that had the right to tell them who felt it more.
Peyton was a lost soul, she had gone through more pain and heartbreak in 18 years then most go through in their entire lifetime. And she has seen all aspects of pain, from the hands of others, from the deaths of the one that she loved, betrayal, departures from her life, but still intact in her heart. She was on a path that could only lead to destruction in the end, the heart was already broken, so there was nothing left to break.
Anyone that looked at Haley could see that her heart was broken, it was not her intention to have it on her sleeve, but it was not something that was going away, it was too hard to cover up anymore. Pain was not something that she was used to feeling; she had grown up a happy kid, with a large family, full of love. She found another family in Lucas and Karen, and that was all that she ever needed. And she was the simplest girl, she did not care what others thought of her, she was the tutor girl, and she was happy with that. But then Nathan Scott crossed her path trying to destroy her best friend. And no matter if she was a nobody in status, if someone was messing with the person she loved the most in the world, she was going to do something about it. No matter who that person was, no matter if that person was Nathan Scott, king of the school. She never knew that she would fall in love with this guy, that was never her intention. She learned that he was different then the person he let everyone else see. Nathan loved her for who she was, even if that was tutor girl, he loved her…and that is all that she ever wanted. And now this same guy was the one breaking her heart into pieces, million of broken pieces. She was worried that they would not fit back together again, it was a fear she woke up each morning. And as much as she tried to hide it, the whole world could see how she felt, because it was all that she felt anymore…broken.
Brooke was another story though, not that many people knew the person that she really was. The person that everyone knew her as was school president, captain of the cheerleading squad, class slut even. No one knew who she really was, or the emotions she felt daily. She was all alone in this world, and no one would ever think that because of the act that she put on. And more then anything she was scared, scared of what the future would bring to her. She did not consider herself to have anything that would get her anywhere in this life, she did have her designs, but where would that take her, she is too young to be in the business, she experienced that first hand.
Brooke looked at the people in her life, or the ones that were in it the most. Haley. Haley is a genius, she is going to be able to get into any college that she wanted to. Though Brooke made fun of her in the past, she always admired her. Haley did not care about anything that anyone ever said about her, no matter how much it hurt, she was content with the person that she was. Brooke was not able to say that about herself. Then she looked at Nathan, Nathan is a basketball king, he also could get into any school on a basketball scholarship, any school with Nathan Scott was going to be set to go for awhile. Peyton. Peyton was her best friend; she always would be no matter what was going on in either one of their lives. It hurt for them to not be talking or be on the same page anymore. But Peyton had her art, and even if she did not want to go anywhere with that, she had her love for music. And that love would take her as far as she let it. Then there was Lucas Scott, the one that held her heart, he was just unaware of this. But he could go anywhere his heart desired. And because it was in fact so big, he would stay close so he could still be around his mom. There was never a mother that ever looked a boy, more then Karen loved Lucas. Lucas felt the same way, and he never wanted to hurt her again, he did not want to leave her alone with the café stuck in a town where the father of her child was the mayor.
She was scared of the future because she was unaware of what it would bring. She did not know where she and Lucas were going, or when they would go down the same path again…together. Brooke had had so many relationships in her lifetime, but not one of them ever meant more then being in the arms of Lucas Scott. She had jumped from so many guys that she was new to this feeling of aloneness. And it was not like she was in love with any of these guys, she would have meaningless sex with them, just because she had come to a point that she did not know what else to do. Brooke sometimes cried herself to sleep at night knowing that she had never known what love was. It was a fact; Brooke Davis had never felt love until the day that she took off her mask. And she was scared because the mask hid her from the world; it covered her so the real world would not know that she felt pain. Nevertheless she did not remove the mask alone, Lucas was there helping her, and when it was off, she no longer had to shield it, the love was there.
Karen had known Haley for a long time, and Karen will never forget the first time that she met her. Haley was in the park when two older boys were picking on her because she was reading a book on the swing. Karen smiled slightly because it was a sight to see, Haley was the tiniest of girls, she had little glasses on her face and she was so involved in the humongous book that she was reading, Karen could swear that the book weighed more then her. Then she saw these two older boys come over and push her from behind, and she flew forward. It was Karen's first instinct to go over there and help the little fallen girl. Apparently it was Lucas's as well and he ran over there and the other boys ran away. Karen bent down and helped the fallen girl up, her glasses and book had fallen in the stumble, so she handed them to Haley. And when Haley looked up to see who was saving her this time, she had tears falling down her cheeks. "It is okay, you are safe now," Karen told her. Haley's tears disappeared and smile appeared on her face. She had come from a big family, but she was the baby, she was picked on her entire life, no one had ever stood up for her before. Haley quickly got to know Lucas and Karen, and she learned that they were all alone and that was it, she hadn't left their side since. So Karen knew Haley better then a lot of people, and the person that she has been for the last two months, was not the little Haley James that told her a decade ago that she had plenty of brothers and sisters at home, Lucas and Karen needed her. She was 8 years old at that point, and Karen has watched her grow, triumphant, and stumble.
Peyton and Brooke came into her life only years ago, but even if they ever did leave her life, they would never leave her heart. Lucas had spoke about Peyton here and there and then when the club opened up Peyton was there to help her out because she was so inexperienced, so Karen got to know her even better. She saw the pain in her eyes when she spoke of her mom, and the confusion and heartache that she had been through along the way. And Peyton had come to her, and that is what she wanted, but it had not happened lately. Then Karen met Brooke when she returned from Florence after 6 weeks to find her son fighting for his life in a hospital bed. But Brooke was by his side and Karen knew that beyond the first impression of the cheerleader and tattoo artist, that there was a girl alone underneath it all. And at first Karen could not believe that this was the girl that her son was dating, however she soon saw the mask get pealed away and she saw the person that Brooke really was.
One thing that all these girls had in common was the fact that they truly were alone. Out of all the girls, not one parent was in the same state as them, none of them called on a regular basis, or knew anything about their lives. And this broke Karen's heart, so she vowed to be there for each one, be the one that they could go to if they were scared, confused, hurt, or alone. She knew about the feelings that they felt, the friends that they had, and the dreams that they aspired. Karen knew them. Karen knew that they all were in pain. Karen knew what she needed to do.
She put one hand on each of the shoulders of the girls before, "Are you okay?" She looks from girl to girl, seeing if she could see something other then sadness in their eyes. And she did, but it was not what she was hoping for, it was fear as well.
"I am fine Karen. I do not know why you would even have to ask," Brooke informed her, lying to her face, lying to herself.
Karen could still feel Haley shaking with only one hand on her shoulder; she knew that she was not okay, so she was not going to wait for an answer from her. "Okay, wrong question, I should not have asked you that. I am trying though, I am trying to be the one that can say the right things to you and make everything okay. But I just cannot seem to be that person, no matter how hard I want to be."
"Karen, I do not have to just speak for myself when I say this, but news flash, there is no one else here for us. You are the only one that is always here, you never leave. None of us have parents here nursing to our broken hearts, or picking us up as we keep on falling down. And maybe right now you are not able to repair all of things broken in our lives, but that has nothing to due with lack of trying. You never give up on us, even though we have already done so ourselves. You do not give yourself enough credit."
Karen was touched by Brooke's kind words to her, but there was something that she did not agree with, "I do not want any credit. I just want you girls to be happy."
"And we will be…eventually."
Haley had not been saying anything, the last time she had spoken was when she was talking to Peyton, trying to be there for her, even though she was one of the reasons that Haley hurt so much each day. And she did hurt, but she had to be grateful that she was no as far gone as Peyton was. That with all the pain that she was feeling that she did not turn to something that would take it all away. But then it scared her that Peyton had, this was not the girl that she knew. And there was nothing that she could do.
Karen did not know much at the present time, but she did no one thing, and that was that Haley could not possibly perform, there was no way that she was going to let her either, "Brooke, do you think that you could do me a favor?"
"Of course, anything, Karen."
"Can you get Haley home, and make sure she gets to bed soon, and just watch her throughout the night, I will stop by later, after the show."
At first Brooke was a little confused, she thought that Haley was playing tonight, and she also was looking forward to Jimmy Eat World. But there was something that was much more important and it was the well being of Haley, "Yeah Karen, I can do that."
Brooke put a hand on Haley's shoulder, trying to lead her out of the café, but it was the first time that Haley spoke, "I have to play tonight," it was barely above a whisper. She was weak and exhausted.
"Not tonight Haley. You are not in the right state to play."
"I have to play tonight, I am opening for Jimmy Eat World, it does not get any better then that."
"It will Haley, but another time. You just need to go home and sleep, you are exhausted. And it has been a long, draining day. A good night's sleep will make things better," Karen said in the best attempt for Haley to agree with her and allow Brooke to take her home, but Karen would never have realized how wrong she actually was.
"Every time I go to sleep, every time," Haley was getting angry which surprised Brooke and Karen, "I wake up and there are tears running down my cheeks. And I do not ask them to fall," now she was getting increasingly upset, and she was shaking, she paused and then spoke again, "they just do, every time I go to sleep, they are there to wake me up. And they tell me, he is not here. He is not here once again. He doesn't love you anymore. He never did. Sleep is not what I need. What I need is to never have to sleep again, so that every morning when I wake up I do not get a reminder on my cheeks that I am alone," Haley trembled as she spoke each word. She was no longer stable on her feet, so she stumbles backwards and Brooke held onto her as tightly as possible, so that she could be stable for one moment in her life. Brooke could swear that she could feel Haley's ribs, and it scared her. As much as Haley did not want to admit that she was headed down a destructive path, she was, and her thinning body was letting her down.
"Haley, Brooke is going to take you home, you do not have to go to sleep, but you cannot stay here," it hurt Karen to have to say that to her, she wanted Haley to be able to stay there so that she could be there for her, but not with Gavin and Peyton on the floor above them. She could not risk another encounter for the fragile girl.
"Okay, so I am not welcome here, I will leave."
"Haley, you know that it is not like that, I want you to be safe, I care about your well being, you know that I want you to stay in my arms forever, just so that I can be reassured that you are. But as much as I do not want to say it, it cannot be done."
"I do not need to be safe forever; life is so much more exciting when you go to sleep not knowing if the next day is going to be your last. Why should I live in an enclosed world, I need to find a place where I do not know my fate. I know it here."
"Haley, what are you trying to say? You are making no sense. And you are scaring me."
"I already know what life is like here, it is full of heartbreak and pain. And do not tell me that it gets better, that I cannot go through it forever. Or even try to tell me that it is not like that. But it is. I look around and the friends that mean the most to me, yeah, they are going through the same thing. Tree Hill? What a joke, it needs to change its name to Heartbreak, Carolina. Because that is all anyone is going to find when they come here. That is all that I have ever found," with that Haley shook away Brooke's grip on her and unstably walked away.
"Where are you going?" Karen asked her, hoping that she would turn around.
"Going to try and find my heart, it went missing a long time ago."
Brooke did not want to let Haley just walk away, there was no way that she was letting her, so she gave Karen a look telling her that she was going to stop her, and ran after Haley. But in the time it took her to turn around, Haley was gone.
