Peyton began to stir a little bit, and Karen got up from her seat and went over to her, hoping that she would wake up. "Peyton, it is okay, you are safe."

"Karen?"

"Yeah, it is me sweetheart."

"What are you doing here?"

"Do you not remember?"

"I know that you called 911 and came with me, but I did not know that you were going to stay."

"You really thought that I could leave you here?"

"I don't know. A lot of people would, that is all."

"Well I am not that kind of person. I care about you. You were in trouble, no one was by your side, and I wanted to be the person that was."

"I pushed you away."

"Not far enough."

"Why though? Why are you still here?"

"Because as much as I do not want to admit it, there are not a lot of people that are still by your side Peyton, you pushed a lot of people away."

"Not you apparently."

"No you didn't. You can try and try, but I always will be here if you need me."

"I don't understand why you are doing this Karen. All I have done is push everyone that cared about me away. I do not want anyone to be around, I do not need anyone. I do not need anyone to be there for me. I am okay on my own."

"If you say so Peyton, because, you were pretty rock bottom from where I am standing. I do not think that I have to remind you that you are in a hospital. A hospital, Peyton, this is where you ended up because you were so fine. And as much as I hate to admit this as well, with the rate you were going with your cocaine intake, I am surprised you were not here earlier for other reasons. That road you were on, it was not a safe one."

"But it took away all the pain that I was feeling."

"Momentarily, Peyton. It did not completely erase the pain, when you came down from that high you were brought face to face with reality. And it was not pretty. You cannot avoid it."

"I think that I did a good job doing what I was doing."

"Are you serious? Cocaine, Peyton, cocaine. That is not you, not at all. And what came with it, Gavin. Gavin is not a good guy, especially not for you."

"He was the only one that did not make me confront the pain going on in my life; he was the only one giving me an outlet for it. And this sounds bad but I knew that he really did not care about me. But at least he wanted to be with me and he was not making me talk about my feelings. I mean what else can I saw? My mother died when I was seven, leaving me motherless in the harsh world growing up, growing through puberty, to learn about boys, sex, and drugs all by myself. Then to top it off, that really wasn't my mom, my parents, wait, not my real parents, my adoptive parents, lied to me my entire life. I never really was theirs; I was this Ellie lady's kid. And I was not good enough. Now after I might have gotten a chance to know her and finally accept that everything does not always go as you think they will, I have to face that she is going to die as well. So that is hopeless."

"Peyton, do not say that. Time is not up with you and Ellie; you still have time to get to know her."

"We have nothing in common."

"She gave you life, I mean that is pretty important, wouldn't you say?"

"She could have taken it back for all that I care."

"Don't say that, do not ever say that. Yes, you have been dealt some awful cards, awful to many standards, but you have a lot more then some others out there. Even though you pushed many of them away, you have many people that you can say love you. You are a smart girl, you do well in school. You are talented beyond words. There are a lot of people out there who do not even know who they are, who loves them, or where they belong. You can say that, even if you struggle sometimes. We all struggle Peyton. This world, it is not easy. But you know what; I think that it would just be too boring if life was easy. Great things come to those who struggle, those who wait."

"How long do I have to wait?"

"I think that you have had good things come to you Peyton, through all this adversity, good things have come to you. You have Tric, you love music, all types, and you get to interact with all of these bands, it can take you so far. So you have that. And you have so many friends, so many which care about you and your well-being. And you waited for awhile, and Jake came to you, and he loved you more then most, and he was a good guy, a really good guy that cared about you."

"And then he left. My happiness is brief, and then someone takes it away. I was happy and then God decided that I did not need a mother anymore. I was happy and God decided that Nikki was going to take Jenny away from Jake, and he had to leave me to find his daughter. Who does that? Who only allows happiness for a short amount of time? Because you know what? It is just easier to be unhappy all the time, because looking around for happiness to only get disappointment is no fun anymore."

"So you are just giving up that easily? You are just going to live the rest of your life unhappy? Well then Peyton I think that you just took the easy way out, and if you do not want to fight anymore, I am not going to force you. But I really wish that you would reconsider. And please, do not do this for me, do this for yourself, but think about it. As easy as you think life would be not changing your emotion, it is so much better to be happy at times."

"Well Karen, I will let you know when that happens, because the life that I am living right now is just not my friend."

"Okay Peyton, I will take that. But there are still things that we need to talk about, there are still things that must change in your life. Because one emergency room scare is not going to be enough to pull you away from the drastic path you are on."

"Karen, I am okay."

"If I hear that one more time, I do not know what I am going to do. Brooke tells me she is okay, and she hides who she is from the world. That is not okay, Peyton. Haley tells me that she is okay, when she has a broken heart that does not look like it is going to mend anytime soon. Yeah, she is so okay that right now she is missing, me not knowing whether she is coming back again, or if she is ever going to be okay again. So Peyton, please do not tell me that you are okay, because I can write a book on 'not okay.'"

Peyton took advantage of Karen's quick change in subject, "Haley is missing?"

"Yeah, Haley is missing, I have no idea where she is, no one does. She left the café after the confrontation with Gavin claiming that Tree Hill was only full of heartache. She told me that she couldn't take it anymore."

"Well then she is worst off then I am, I am not taking drastic measures like running away from it all, I have accepted it, and I have taken it in."

"So what are you trying to say, that Haley is a coward?"

"She has a tendency to run away from things when things are not perfect in the world, I mean that is just what I see."

"Oh and turning to cocaine is so much better then running away from it all," Karen was not going to be Peyton's best friend right now and let her say whatever she wanted to say, or whatever she thought was the truth, just because she was in a hospital bed. No, Karen cared about her way too damn much to just pretend.

"I accepted that this is how my life had turned out, Haley couldn't."

"You really surprise me Peyton, you really do. You and Haley used to be friends, good ones at that. I have known Haley for ten years, ten years, I know more about her then you ever will, she tells me everything. And your friendship was something that she valued a lot. And now it means nothing to you, nothing at all. Everything that you once had you just threw away because you didn't agree with her on one thing."

"Nathan is my friend, she hurt him."

"What about Haley? Wasn't she your friend as well? And what about what Nathan has done to Haley? He has gone beyond vendetta to hurt her. Yes, Haley left on a tour bus, thus leaving him. But she was following her dreams, and I think Nathan was selfish not to support her. Nevertheless the two of them were married, they held a sacrament between them, and she broke it by leaving. So I understand that she hurt him. But she tried to stay in contact with him, but he would not give an inch. After two months she could not take it anymore, she returned knowing that things would not just fall back into place, but with hopes that they could work it out, because she loved him. Haley knows that she hurt Nathan; she has lived with it every day for the past four months. But he has shown nothing but cruelty towards her, no one should have to hurt this much from a mistake that they recognize that they made. I know that you are not friends with her right now, but have you seen her lately? You were friends with her once, is that girl still there? You and Gavin have put her through added hell; I think that she has had enough."

"Me? I never did anything to her Karen."

"Okay, maybe it is what you haven't done then. You haven't been her friend; you definitely have not been there for her. And I think that your boyfriend has done enough damage to her himself."

"I think that she deserved to feel some of the pain that Nathan felt."

"I think that she has surpassed that Peyton. She has gone through enough."

"Okay. But I am not just automatically going to be friends with her again."

"I never thought that you were. I just think that you need to be more understanding of the situation. Haley lives in constant pain, as do you, I just thought that you could recognize that and be more compassionate, that is all."

She changes subjects again, seeing how long she can possibly avoid the subject of herself, "You really believe in her, don't you?"

"I do Peyton. As do I in you and as do I in Brooke."

"You sure care about other people's kids."

"No one else seems to. I am not going to let each one of you wake up each morning thinking that you are alone in this world, because you aren't. I am here for you, no matter what, especially no matter how much you try and push me away. I am going to try even harder to break those barriers and help you through whatever you need me to."

"But why? Why do so much for someone else's kid? I mean isn't that what parents are for?"

"Because I vowed since my adolescence that I would, and it was something that no one ever did for me, and I never wanted any one else to feel how I felt. I just hope that I am doing a good enough job."

"I think you are. There are so many days that I just do not want to get up, just say the hell with it, the hell with this life, there is nothing else to live for. But I don't because I know that no matter how hard it is to get up, that if I don't, you are going to be on my case. And I do not want that. You can laugh or think that means nothing, but honestly it means that I know that you care. And I cannot speak directly for anyone else, but I know that they feel it as well. You have made a difference in the lives of so many people Karen. I am just lucky that I am one of them."

"Not in all though," she said as she saw who was on the caller ID of her phone: Brooke, "Hello…" she repeated when she could not make out the voice, "Hello, Brooke are you there?" it appeared to sound like some one was crying on the other end, "Brooke, what is wrong? Are you okay?"

"Karen…Karen…I don't know what to do, she did not want me to call for help, so I called you, I knew that you would know what to do."