The Mad Man In The Blue Box With His Thoughts
"Porrco, get back here! That's m' favorite jacket!"
The Doctor wasn't one to babysit. At least, not on a smaller scale. He was the glorified babysitter of the universe, across all of time and space, after all. So, he had better things to do than take care of a nineteen year old, ex-shop girl, thank you very much. Not to mention that people needed to take care of themselves! So, one week to the day after they had left 2012 Utah behind, when a rather rambunctious Porcco had taken off to the depths of the TARDIS, and Rose had gone after him, he hadn't felt the need to keep an eye or go after her.
She could handle alien invasions and the like, hell, she handled a Dalek, and him as the Oncoming Storm. So he knew for her, taking care of a mermaid piglet shouldn't have been much of challenge. In fact, she could do it in her sleep! Then again, if the Doctor hadn't been so focused on repairs, or so bent on ignoring the girl that had seen a part of him that he didn't want anyone to see...
Well, he would have taken in mind that the TARDIS was a bit of a minx and liked to play an occasional trick on everyone by switching stuff around, and Rose was a bit... Okay, a lot Jeopardy Friendly and had a bad habit of wandering off. He would have to see her eventually... But well, he was repairing, and he had been semi avoiding the former shop girl because she had gotten to close. Too soon. He need room to think, and while they had done nothing but drift in space in the New Roman Empire era of Sol 3 for about a week, he had hardly seen her beyond meal times, and the few times she would read quietly on the jump seat.
She hardly spoke to him. And the worst part of the entire thing it wasn't because she seemed to be angry, disgusted or disappointed in him as she should be. She wasn't even ignoring him, as most would have done. Nor was she demanding to go home, which made it harder for him to talk to her more than for her to pass the salt because he was expecting it, and it never came. Because Rose was giving him space, offering a silent support as he tried to make sense of things after the events in Utah, 2012.
She didn't demand explanations nor confront him on why they weren't doing anything. She wasn't trying to coddle him in false comfort that could do nothing for him. She was waiting. Simply waiting for him to get beyond this rough spot, pretending to buy his excuse of needing to perform a full check on the TARDIS after failing to recognize the Dalek's signature form of distress signal.
In reality, the Dalek had used an Earth frequency in the first place, its systems too fried and damaged to do anything but to hack into the primitive systems of the twenty first century Earth. The TARDIS had read it loud and clear and had probably thought it a sort of Earth emergency or something of the like. And part of him suspected she knew this, she was a smart girl after all, but she let him gather himself. No questions, no talk. She just let him...
Be.
So, for a week he had torn the TARDIS's signal system apart piece by piece putting it back together again as soon as he was done. There was no need for repairs, and all they were basically doing was drifting to get his head together. That made things worse, because quite usually he would throw himself into an adventure when it came to facing, or rather running from his demons, but that meant that she would be right next to him.
Head-long into whatever mess he was sure to get into.
He wasn't thinking quite straight at the moment. He was too focused on seeing the after-images of the Time-War. If he landed them in a dangerous situation, and really, given his track record, and her's for that matter, they were going to... Well, be most likely running for their lives. It wasn't a question of if with them, but rather when it would happen.
And he couldn't... Wouldn't have anything happen to either them until he understood what the hell was happening. Because things were changing, shifting, in him and around him, and all because of that girl with yellow hair and a preference for pink. Rose Tyler was important to him...
He hadn't even known her for more than a day and he had understood that, screaming at her in the bowels of the Earth for her to leg it and escape from the living plastic threatening her world. Even though it wasn't really a good solution, even if would've meant nothing in the long run, all the Doctor had wanted in that moment was for her to get away. Safe for just a fraction of second longer and away from whatever danger he had brought on her head.
That scared him more than he could ever say. He valued life, he always had, but after the Time War... It was so much more precious. At first, he had dismissed his fervor to get her out as just that. Guilt and the wish to keep even just one more person alive because he had destroyed so many already. But in that morgue in 1869, holding her hand and watching as she swore to fight beside him to the end, knowing that she was doomed because of him... He knew. He knew it even as he knew he would lose her and save the world, it wasn't because it was a life, it was because it was her.
She wasn't worth an entire world of beings. He knew that. She knew that. But the fact that he had paused in the first place, agonized over the thought of Rose Tyler no longer existing, and caused Harriet to step up and bring him back to sense was... Disturbing. And felt so bloody good that he had no idea what to do with himself.
That was all Rose did. She made him feel when he had tried to numb himself for so long. She was dangerous for him, like a drug that he kept going back to. To see her laugh, to see her beam at him and ignore any idiotic pretty boy(and well, there was a lot) looking her way. And look at him. The old man too damage to even think properly half the time and the blood of entire species on his hands.
Besides that rubbish, besides his own dangerous and fast attachment to her... There was the damning, horrendous fact that she was important in the sense that the time-lines around her were strong, massive and complex web of gold. So detailed, had Time Lords been around, he knew she, like most people that caused major changes in time, would have been monitored carefully and for all her life. Maybe even removed from the time-web and studied, because she had one of the most complex and massive time-lines he had ever seen. Human, Time-Lord, or other wise. That meant she was important in a way that was dangerous.
She was to be present at a serious point of history or the cause of them. While this was actually quite normal for his companions, Rose's time-lines had been that way even before she had set foot in the TARDIS. That was alarming in so many ways, because she was just nineteen. Just human and nineteen and she was her. And the Universe, Space, and Time had plans for Rose Tyler. And he wanted to protect her from it. Or at least soften the blow.
But that of course meant that he had to stop this mindless drift in space and go along with his normal jaunts 'round space and time, because making fake repairs wouldn't do much to help her, or him. Even if it gave them one more week before whatever Rose Tyler was meant for came tumbling down over their heads.
Right.
He ignored that course of thought. And all other thoughts of her. Because she wasn't there and he had a Morlah connection to put back together and his thoughts were too dangerous and too introspective. And not to mention, so bloody domestic! All he wanted to do was run, and move past all the things and questions that the Dalek, Rose, and anything else the Universe wanted to throw at him brought. So he did, loosing himself to sparks and the process bellow him.
~BW~DW~BW~DW~BW~
It was several hours yet until he was pulled away from his thoughts, and noticed that perhaps it was not the best idea to let Rose Tyler of all people wander after an excitable piglet. Alone. In the TARDIS. She got into enough trouble without the aid of a tricky Time-Ship. Or that maybe she could get lost and find something that could harm her. Or go to a place where he could never find her again.
Or the most horrible thing of all, find a pear and eat it.
Even he didn't know the extent of the TARDIS completely, though last time he had bothered to keep inventory there was fifty-two floors with a couple hundred rooms on each, and counting. Not to mention the attic or the basement, where he kept particularly nasty souvenirs of his travels... And that had been in his sixth body. Quite a while ago. Well, he thought, he would check where she usually seemed to be before he panicked.
He went purposefully about the TARDIS, catching a Howl's door to the corridor where the TARDIS kept most of the rooms, at least, when she didn't feel temperamental. He noted faintly, that once again, their rooms were right across from each other, and he scowled to the general air. He walked up to her odd door, something about the craved out words on the it setting him on edge, every single time he laid eyes on it. Like he was staring down at something he couldn't possibly understand and that would come to bite him in the arse later.
The TARDIS still refused to translate, even after all this time. She was almost smug about it. She lorded over him, as if to say that she knew more about Rose then he did. He did not like that, one bit. But the TARDIS sure did.
Rose also said she had no idea what it meant, but for the oddest reason, at times he would think that she did know. Because sometimes he would find her staring at the door with the strangest, almost frightened expression on her face. But that was only sometimes, and he wondered if he was just getting paranoid in his old age, or if she too was set on edge by it and trying to make sense of it. If she too felt the looming plan the Universe had for her.
He knocked, pushing away that thought. Because she was so young and like... Ace, yes, that was right, like Ace! She must have not had any idea what was coming for her. He scowled at the thought, uncomfortable at being suspicious of her. But he knew he would do it for her own safety... When he heard nothing from inside, or her opening the door, he figured she wasn't in there. Oh, well, after he had tried to open it, and gotten a shock in return for his efforts.
"Every bloody time."he muttered, sticking his stinging fingertips into his mouth.
The TARDIS sent him an irritated hum. It was scolding him, for what felt like the millionth time over this issue.
"Yes I know she needs privacy but what about when I really need her!?"he sent back, both mentally and aloud before he marched back to the Howl's door, frowning the entire way. He wasn't sulking though, he was... Sullen about the affair.
He turned it to another frequent place of her's, the main Galley. It was still stuck in the form of a fifties dinner, all chrome and red leather. It had been that way since the first 'morning' Rose had had in the TARDIS. He wondered why the TARDIS was so partial to it. Or Rose for that matter, because she would on odd moments smile at the walls, or smirk at the revolving dessert display case, that was always filled, no matter what time of day they came in. Maybe it was the fact that this Galley kitchen had also had a milkshake machine that made her like it.
He liked that part of it at least. Made fantastic banana ones, at least, when Rose made them with the machine. He had banned himself from using it after he had caused an explosion- a minor one, of course- but an explosion nonetheless. He and Rose had spent the majority of the day cleaning bananas off the ceiling. He had sworn to himself not to touch it again, and Rose had helped his agony over no milkshakes by offering to handle the machine herself from then on out. He had happily accepted this.
She wasn't in the Galley, this time, though. It was empty, the booths all clean and shinning in the florescent lights. He eyed the stove, and noticed that the pot wasn't in its usual place. The pot was warm when he touched it, as if she had had just had a spot of tea. Roughly two hours ago, if he could tell correctly, when he checked the out put of energy on the stove's systems.
"Well, where is she?"he muttered, eyes flickering to the ceiling.
He sent a small nudge to his beloved ship, humming at her in question. The TARDIS only flickered lights about and hummed back at him, as if he should know better than to ask. He huffed. She hummed back that he should get over it.
He went to the library next, irritation building. Now this was a frequent haunt for her. He didn't blame her really, especially since she had been denied of this past time growing up. Though, as he had noticed in this body he was more prone to action than reading, he couldn't deny that he loved doing it nonetheless the few times he did it. He himself, no matter what body, loved reading
It showed in his book hoard. The room he housed them in was nearly the size of the circumference of her home planet's moon, with shelves from floor to cavernous ceilings, and a large, circulating balcony with even more shelves. He had a enormous collection of books, scrolls, and texts to say it mildly, from all across time and space, being the slight hoarder that he was, and knew that the only collection that rivaled it was The Library(which, he thought would be an excellent place to take her, though it was far off in his long list in destinations that he knew she would love). It was odd day he didn't find her in here. But of course, it had to be an odd day.
"ROSE!"he called out. His voice echoed, and he knew it would carry through the room, and eventually she would hear it and respond.
It was a system that had worked well so far for them, and he waited for her answering yell. It took roughly any sound to echo from this part of the library to the end five and half Sol 3 minutes. So he waited. No answer. Not here then.
He was careful to go 'round the pool, looking for clues, noting it had moved yet again. Previously, it had been on the second level of the library that went around the entire room on it fringes, and now it had moved right next to one of the many fireplaces. Right around the love seat where Rose usually sat to read. The love seat was still there, just surrounded by crystal clear water and various fishes and other creatures swimming about.
Thankfully, it was on a platform and not water logged, so he wouldn't have to chuck it out. Rose would have been devastated. The reader she had found and claimed as her own was there, off, but next to a couple of books, all with various bookmarks. She had just been here then, because she hardly did that unless something had caught her immediate attention, and she was quite timely in coming back to either take them to her room or put them away.
"Cheeky."he mentioned, looking at her reading place, it was too far away for her legs to jump the distance, even if she made it a running jump, humans weren't quite that strong yet. Rose would be irritated that she would have to swim to get to it now.
Or she would enjoy it, either or. She was a wild card, that girl. The TARDIS of course, simply tittered in his head. Laughing, either at the thought of the ex-shop girl swimming the distance, or at his own bewilderment. Even more cheeky he thought with a frown. The TARDIS did love to tease of course, but the fact that she did it to Rose and the girl took it all in stride was what confused him. Rose would simply laugh whenever she got lost or turned around and tell him of her time around the TARDIS with a sparkle in her eye. Most people just blubbered or got a little testy about it.
He sighed, and went to the next part on his list, the Wardrobe, for she had a inclination of going there from time to time to dress up? Nope. Judging by the dress on the floor, the one she had worn in their last trip to the past, she hadn't been in here since.
Media room? No, but it seemed as if she had been just there as well because he found her favorite mug, a blue one, just the exact shade of the TARDIS she had proclaimed happily in a shopping district somewhere on some asteroid... Had it been Ne 1003? Or had it been Fei 113? Fei 113, he thought after a moment, setting the empty mug down with a frown.
He had found Porcco at least, curled up on lazy boy with a blanket settled carefully around him. Asleep. It was odd not to see them both together, since the mermaid piglet hardly went anywhere without her. He tiptoed out of the room, though he had been tempted to wake the piglet to ask him to help find where the yellowed haired girl had gone. He did have a knack for that...
But, the poor thing hardly slept away from Rose. Always whimpering to come into her room at night or be next to her on the pilot seat. It would be good for him to learn to rest without her there in the room. He wouldn't stay that small forever, and that breed of pig did get rather large, though because of the enhancements the Heal Tube had placed he would take a bit longer to get there... Still, he was going to be large and Rose couldn't coddle him forever.
"Just take me to her."he said, after peeking into the room next to the media room, the one that housed all the forms all the cassettes, dvds and like devices he had picked up in his long, seven hundred year or so journey. The TARDIS gave a titter of giggles, but other wise didn't respond to his command.
He frowned, scowling really, and stomped off to find her again. If his ship would be any help it would be easier! She only tittered again at his thought, and he gave her a fierce push in his head. She all but hissed in return, the lights flickering about him and doors disappearing and others appearing in her aggravation. It was rather rude of him to do it, but he was annoyed that the ship was being so protective of Rose. He scowled at the general air again, crossing his arms across his body. Now she had gone and made things more difficult. She gave a huff, as if he deserved it.
"Sexy, I swear to Rassilion-" he growled, glaring at the ceiling as she set off a cascade of sparks in return.
"Fighting with the TARDIS again?"asked an amused voice, light and laughing, as he dodged out of the way of the fire.
The Doctor whipped around, feeling his ears heat up as Rose grinned at him, tongue-in-teeth, because she had heard him say his nick-name for the lovely Time-ship, and he wasn't exactly one to advertise that. She was barefoot again, he noted, straightening up slightly as he stared at her, feeling out of sorts. She tended to be barefoot on the TARDIS, and he knew that she never got a cut because the TARDIS always kept her path clear. She had a basket of all things, full of knickknacks and other things. Was that a mason jar full of butterflies?
"Where the hell have you been?"
She was still smiling, not at all put out by his tone or question. She shrugged, the hand not holding the basket waving around in clear excitement.
"I was explorin'. She's enormous! Did you know there's a butterfly room?"she asked brightly, nearly vibrating in spot in the odd moment of teenage enthusiasm.
He blinked, realizing that while yes, Rose was excitable and fascinated by the universe, she was hardly ever one to act her age. So many times, he had to remind himself that the girl in front of him was nineteen. This was the odd time he didn't have to.
"Yes. Thought she ejected it a long time ago, huh."he said, rubbing his chin.
Last he had seen that room had been... In what? His fifth body maybe? Maybe fourth. It tended to blur after a few hundred years, but he at least knew that he hadn't seen it person in a long time. He hadn't had a need for butterflies in a long time, but it seemed that the TARDIS had picked it as one of her favorites and stashed it away. She had a tendency to do that with any of her many rooms with live creatures. Though sometimes she did eject them, but only after she forced landed in a place were the creatures could live did she get rid of them.
"It's beautiful! Some were bigger than me!"
The Doctor found himself smiling on reflex at Rose's excited and happy tone.
"Ah, those are from Delta Mega Thirteen. Rather difficult to catch, but can be fun to ride if you can manage to jump on."he mused, thinking of the time he had rescued the people of Delta Mega Thirteen.
He had looked half mad, he bet, long scarf streaming behind him, hand clutching his hat to his head, riding on a butterfly of all things. While it wasn't quite odd on Delta Mega Thirteen anymore, as as far as he knew, that was standard practice on that moon since he had done it himself to nab the good Prince in some tower. Fun day, that.
"Can we ever go there?"she asked, glancing at the mason jar curiously. The jeweled butterflies, with the combination of the overhead lights cast colored shadows across her young face.
It struck the Doctor that she was very-
"Ah, well, I'm not exactly welcome there anymore. Even if I did save the bloody moon, apparently manhandling the Prince into head lock to make him see sense was not a good idea. I was declared their enemy for all of time."he said, absently scratching his head, pushing away where ever that train of thought had been going.
She pressed her lips together, as if holding back a laugh, but surprised him by saying this:
"Well, they're a bunch of wankers. You saved them!"she said pointedly, placing the jar carefully back into the basket.
He found himself shrugging.
"I was never one for butterflies anyway. At least, not after I took a breading pair for my efforts. I mean, it was illegal to remove them from the planet, but, it wasn't as if I was going to be able to go back to be persecuted for it."he said, winking at her.
She grinned back.
"Good for you, now we reap the benefit and ride on giant butterflies."
He nodded, grin large and felt his ears burn.
"Not much for Butterflies, me."he said, seriously, but she simply laughed.
"Wha', big macho man can't handle riding a pretty butterfly?"she asked, sweetly, eyes glittering again.
The Doctor wasn't an idiot in any sense, and he heard a challenge loud and clear. He found himself moving forward without meaning too, head dipping down ward. He was inches from her, that hotter temperature evident the closer he got. But he didn't really notice other than in his peripheral senses, so intent in her large, hazel eyes and flecks of gold mixed within the irises that looked up at him with a promise … Of what, he had no clue. But it was so tempting and it was her-
"Race you."he said abruptly, pushing off at high speed.
She laughed behind him, her bare feet slapping rhythmically against the corridors of the TARDIS. He could hear her gasping for breath, between each laugh and she was calling him a cheater, swearing to make him eat pumpkin for his dastardly efforts. When he reached back to redeem that, she grasped his hand without missing a beat, speeding up to match his slightly slower stride as if they had done this a dozen times; Race around the narrow, winding corridors of the TARDIS laughing stitches into their sides as they got terribly lost and finally found the bloody butterfly room two hours later.
It didn't strike him as strange to see this nineteen year old girl's hand in his, or even beside him, and he could feel the cold, anxious nerves of what he had done and what he might have to do fade away. Even if it was just for second. It was just natural, and only him and her.
It struck him then, amid the swirls of pastel and vivid butterflies flapping about that there was hardly a moment when his mind wasn't one her, or that his hearts, no matter how much he tried to push himself away, raced fast when she smiled at him. She was eager, earnest. Young and beautiful to his old and broken. And the Doctor no longer cared at this point, was horrified that he couldn't find himself to be horrified over it. Faintly, storing it away for later, he noticed an odd design on his mount's wings as he clambered on top of it, 'Bad Wolf' among the dark, somber reds of it's wing. But it didn't matter, not to him, and he didn't care to notice fully.
Not with right then, because all he could do was stare at her as he she seemed to light up from the inside; like a burning, golden sun, just for him.
