Chapter Three

"MUWHAHA!" Jet cackled viciously.

Wait, wait, wait! I haven't even started the Chapter yet!

"Hey listen you stupid Narrator! This Chapter starts when I say it starts, so there!" Jet snapped his fingers in front of his face. "Don't mess with me girlfriend!"

Ok, that is it! I'm writing you out of existence young man!

Erase-

"Wait!" Katara shrieked. "We need him for the story!"

Ok fine.

"Geez, I was just kidding." Je said angrily. "Hey!" He screamed and started running around in a panic. "Why is my name Je?"

Because I was in the process of writing you out of existence so now only ¾ of you is there. You are now Je.

"ON WITH THE STORY!" Sokka screamed as he fell through the air past the waiting ride and into darkness.

"Anyway," a rather nervous Je continued. "The ride and your DOOM starts now!"

"Wait!" Zuko shouted, "Did you say- AHH!" He screamed as they suddenly plummeted into darkness.

"No, no I didn't." Je said.

"He said DOOM!" Katara screamed in Zuko's ear as they zipped along the track.

"I know!" Zuko shrieked back. Katara looked at him for a moment.

Then she punched him in the stomach.

"Oh for the love of the Fire Lord and all his space cadets!" Zuko groaned.

"This is quite relaxing." Iroh said pleasantly.

"Umph!" Sokka groaned as he landed in one of the empty seats.

"Wait! This seat isn't empty!"

Correction, as he landed in Zuko's lap.

"SPIT THROWER!" Sokka screamed, foaming at the mouth, and began to beat Zuko over the head with his shoe.

"Hey!" Katara said pointing, "I see a light."

They all stopped what they were doing-

"DIE, DIE, DIE!" Except for Sokka that is-

And stared at the light.

"Do you think it's getting closer?" Iroh asked.

"Hmm.." said Katara.

WHACK! The ride stopped suddenly and they were all catapulted through a giant door of light into the cavernous hall of the Fire Lord waiting below.

Insert Intermission

Hey kids, while you're waiting for the intermission to end, why don't you go review this story? No? Well fine. It was only a suggestion!

End Intermission

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zuko screamed.

Katara smacked him. He began to suck on his thumb. She smacked his hand. He began to suck on her thumb. She punched him in the face.

They all landed with a rather loud thud on some cushions that were placed on the floor. The front of the hall was a gigantic stage. The entire hall was huge and decorated in red and orange. (Big surprise.)

"Hey I heard that!" Zuko muttered.

Katara punched him again.

The doors slammed shut and the hole in the ceiling slammed shut. And Zuko's mouth slammed shut at the risk of being punched a third time.

"LEEKY-LEEKY-LEE!" Katara screamed, jumping up and down, flapping her arms three times, and standing on her head.

Zuko stared at her.

"What?" She asked, sitting back down and smoothing her hair. "That's what AANG, no wait LEE-"

"No don't start it again!" he shouted quickly.

"Has asked to be called." Katara said calmly.

"Why must he keep changing his name!" Zuko roared.

"I like it," Katara said.

"Well I think it sounds like your doing a mating call!"

Katara tackled him off screen and various stereotypical fighting noises could be heard over the cheap movie theatre sound system.

"Stupid speakers," muttered Sokka, "They're a piece of-"

"SHush!" A voice boomed suddenly and the lights dimmed into a red glow that cast weird shadows across the room.

"Prepare yourselves!" the voice roared again, coming from all sides at once. Katara and Zuko rolled back on screen and sat on their cushions, Zuko looking slightly as if he had been ran over my a horse, kicked in the head, ran over by the horse in reverse, thrown in a river, smacked in the head with a horse-

"Alright they get the point." Zuko said huffily.

"Be warned!" The voice began again.

"Man that voice is creepy!" LEEKY-LEEKY-LEE whispered.

"For you are about the experience the TERROR!"

LEEKY-LEEKY-LEE hid under his cushion.

"The HORROR!"

Sokka fainted.

"The SHEER MONSTROSITY!"

Katara and Zuko grabbed each other.

"The INESCAPABLE DOOM!"

Iroh drank some tea.

"Of," The lights suddenly burst into blinding white light, "The FIRE LORD'S DANCING BALLET OF DOOM!"

"NO-" Katara screamed, "Wait! Did"

"He" Iroh chimed in.

"Just" LEEKY (name shortened due to writer's cramp) said.

"Say" Sokka whispered.

"DANCING!" Zuko asked, his mouth open in awe.

WARNING: The following segment includes disturbing scenes that involve sheer chaos and ballet. Not for sensitive readers or the dance impaired.

"Ta-da!" Then, to their complete shock and horror, the Fire Lord himself appeared on stage wearing…..a TUTU!

"AHH!" Zuko screamed. "NOO!"

A troop of Fire Nation soldiers appeared in leotards and their masks.

"It burns!" Katara shrieked falling over.

"Ah, one! Two! One, two, three, four!" The Fire Lord bellowed and they all began to pirouette across the stage.

"Does anyone else notice that they have riffles?" Sokka asked pointing. Sure enough they were each dancing with a gun.

"But I thought they could fire bend." LEEKY said.

Call it a plot hole LEEKY and leave it at that.

Music blared around them.

"Dun! Dun dun dun dun DUN DUN!" The guards sang as they twirled. "Dun dun dun dun BANG BANG!" They fired shots over the crowd's heads for emphasis.

"EEE!" Katara screamed and grabbed Zuko in fright. Again. There's your Katara/Zuko pairing for this flick- er…fic.

"Oh no!" Sokka moaned, "They're starting to sing!"

Sure enough the guards had burst into song to the tune of a popular swing beat."

"Oh, we're the Fire Nation, we can't be beat!

We like to dance but we won't rub your feet!

We've brought you here to see our show!

But there's a little trick here, you know!

If you watch us dance and sing, you see!

You'll be trapped with us for eternity!

Whoa-oo-ooooo!"

"NOO!" Zuko screamed again. "We won't watch your show!"

The guards spontaneously burst into flame.

"Curses!" the Fire Lord roared. "I see you have found the guard's one weakness!"

"Well that was lame." Sokka muttered. A giant moth descended from the ceiling and latched onto his neck.

"AHH!" He screamed, and ran through the only open door, marked EXIT.

"You won't get away with this!" Zuko screamed, "Er….whatever it is your trying to get away with seeing as we just ruined your plan in less than sixty seconds…"

"Yes but I know a secret, one that will TEAR YOUR LIFE TO SHREDS!" Flames erupted behind him.

"What?" Zuko squeaked, fear rising inside him like a tidal wave inside an office building with no windows.

"Zuko," the Fire Lord hissed.

"No!" Zuko screamed. "I knew it! You killed my father!"

"No Zuko!" More flames. "I am your father!"

"NOOOO-wait, I already knew that." Zuko said, crossing his arms.

"I know," the Fire Lord answered, letting out an unnaturally high giggle, "I've just always wanted to say that." And with that he disappeared.

"This way to the exit!" Je said brightly, appearing out of nowhere as characters in this fic tend to do.

"Well that ride sucked." Katara said dejectedly as they all filed towards the door.

"This leads me to my newest piece of advance," Iroh said solemnly, "When thy shorts are on fire, stop, drop, and roll."

"What?" Zuko asked in confusion.

Katara laughed. "Your on fire Zuko!"

"OH GREAT FIRE BENDING SKILLS OF SPIDER MONKEYS! Put me out!" He screamed and with that ran off screen into Chapter Four.

A/N:

Je: Can I have my name back?

Me: NEVER!

Je runs off screen crying

Me: Well….maybe if your really nice.

Je: sniff sniff……..throws pie at narrator

Me: That is IT! You are now J! DO NOT make me erase you entirely!

J: screams like a girl and runs in fear

Well, read and review as always! And don't forget to watch Snakes on a Plane! Maybe if I advertise it enough they'll pay me part of their earnings from the movie….Hmm…..