"What's the matter? I thought that it was just an anxiety attack that was brought on by her broken heart."
"Well it is definitely inside of her. Her immune system is very low right now; there is basically nothing inside of her fighting anymore. We are trying to raise the levels, but until they are raised, she is prone to illnesses. The nurses told me that you told her that Haley had trouble breathing, her lungs were blocked and because she was so weak, her body did not know it until it could not take it anymore. She is very susceptible right now, we need to keep a close eye on her and make sure she makes it through the night. We are going to need to monitor her for a few days."
"And what happens if she catches something, is she going to be able to fight it all by herself?"
"We are going to have to hope so."
"So what do we do now? We want to do something, anything at all, so that Haley can get better."
"There is nothing that you can honestly do for her. Other then just sit by her beside, let her know someone is there. We need her to build her strength up so that her antibodies can fight off any pathogens that come in her contact. Be there for her, support her, be her strength if she needs it. Nevertheless there is no proven medical fact that says that it is going to work. But there is also no known medical treatment that you can give to Haley."
"Is she going to be okay? Are we going to see the light return in our Haley's eyes? Is she going to recover from this and lead a normal life?"
"It is all up to her. If she is a fighter, then yes, I can see normalcy in her future. If she gives up, then I am going to have to unfortunately say recovery might not be enough. It is all up to Haley, but I am leaning more towards the first option then the latter."
"I sure hope so. I do not think that we could lose her."
"If there is anything that I can do for you or Haley, just let me know. My name is Doctor Gavin Jenson."
Gavin, why does that name seem so familiar? Gavin? No way, it couldn't be. Could it? Brooke had to ask, "Umm excuse me sir, but do you happen to have a son with the same name?"
"As a matter of fact I do, but I have not seen him for years. Are you friends with him by any chance?"
"He is the guitarist at the local night club, and he is dating a friend of ours."
"How is he doing?"
Does she tell him the truth? Thank you for saving our friend's life doctor, but I am afraid no one is going to be able to safe your son, he is a coke addict who treats his girlfriend and everyone around him like shit. But he is doing excellent. She couldn't do that, she told him the best thing that she could think of, "I honestly do not know him very well, your name seemed very familiar and I just wanted to see if it was more then a coincidence." It was not a complete fabrication; Brooke really did not know Gavin. She knew what he did, he changed her best friend. But did Brooke know anything about Gavin or the reason that he was like this? Not at all, and from just being around his father, Brooke realized that it had to be deeper then family issues.
"Yes, Gavin is my son. My wife died four years ago, and after the funeral Gavin never came back home. I have no idea what has happened to him, I talk to my other son, Noah every now and then, but he never mentioned that Gavin was in Tree Hill."
"I am sorry to hear about your wife."
"She fulfilled her purpose in life; I cannot live one day bitter. Gavin did not have the greatest relationship with his mother, he was a punk rocker and she was an elementary school teacher. But after many years of trying to get in, she broke through the last semester of his senior year. He gave up on anything after high school, but my wife got him to apply to some schools and he got in. I never thought Gavin would ever go to college, but for the first time in his life he wanted to go to school. My wife did that to him. But Gavin never made it to those colleges."
"What happened?" Brooke was intrigued now. She lacked a family life or a story to tell, so when she could hear others, she was attached. After each story that she heard she knew that everyone went through hardship, it doesn't matter if with two parents or one, or even none, hardship will prevail for a little while.
"My wife died two days before Gavin's graduation, he never graduated, he could never pull himself to be in the presence of all those people. Everyone knew about it, the wife of a prominent doctor, dead at 38."
"I read about this," Lucas admitted. "The name just never registered because Gavin does not use his last name."
"What happened?" Brooke was not as aware of the past events.
"My wife had a very rare cancer of the blood. It took over her system before she even had a chance to fight it. We tried everything for awhile, but it just wore her down. And she did not want that, she wanted to live a normal life as long as possible. We found out in April, stopped treatment at the end of May, and she passed away 2 weeks later. We never told Gavin, he was changing and we did not want to let this stop him. We had set aside money for him to do whatever he wanted with it, and on graduation day we were going to present it to him and tell him about his mother. Carla's life ended too soon, we never had a chance. But she impacted his life forever, he was distraught, he did not want to go on. Things settled down a little bit and then Gavin found out that we had kept Carla's illness from him. He was furious, I could not even talk to him, four years later and I haven't seen him since that day. All I know is that he is alive, and the only reason that I know that is because I put that money in his account anyways, and over the years it has been diminishing. I do not know why I just told you all that, I am sorry."
"If it makes you feel any better, I don't have a family either," did she really just say that aloud, to practically a stranger? She had a problem saying things when she was alone, but in the presence of two men she just gave away her darkest secret.
"I am sorry to hear that. Everyone needs to have someone to love them, no matter who that person is, or what they have done." This was true for both Gavin and Brooke, what freaking irony. No matter the person Brooke pretended to be over the years, it did not matter, she still felt heartbreak and pain like the rest, and more then ever she just wanted someone to love her. Gavin was not a good guy at all, he has treated everyone that had come in his vicinity horribly, but what no one knew was the hardship he had to experience, and this changed him. He gave up on fate and life and himself, there was no one left to love him because of it. Everyone needed love; life is just not as well worth living without it.
"Well when we get things figured out with Haley, if you want we can try and talk to Gavin, and maybe we can get him to talk to you. It won't be easy though, I am afraid that your son has changed, and he is not the nicest of people to be around. He knows the exact words to cut through the heart."
"I am sorry to hear that, I hope he did not know the right words for you, it seems like you have gone through enough in your young life."
"No one has ever said that before, all they do is add on more, thank you," Lucas listened to this man, he had never met Brooke before yet he could sense, he could feel, and he could see her pain. She stood before him almost every day and he could never put his hand on it. Was it him? Was he just so blind to this fact? Or did Brooke hide it so well that this was her first slip ever? Nevertheless, his own mother could see it, but was that because she was mother and it was their second nature to sense it? His conclusion: he was so blind to it because he never wanted to admit that he contributed to it.
"You all can go back and sit with Haley if you want to, I wish I could give you a estimated time to when Haley is going to open her eyes, but it is honestly up to her. She has got to fight with everything that she has left in her."
"Thank you Doctor."
Lucas led Brooke down the halls, it seemed like it was an obstacle course and they were trying to find the prize. But it really wasn't a prize that they wanted to win, a broken friend was not what they wanted to find. They finally found the room number in which Doctor Jenson had given them, "You ready?"
"I will never be ready, but I do not have that option right now."
Lucas nodded his head and opened the door, and that is as far as they got. Yes, they have seen her before, that picture was not disappearing from their thoughts, but neither was this one. Cords. Wires. Everywhere. All around her, attached to her, keeping her…her. Alive. Who the hell was Nathan Scott? Okay he wanted Haley to feel pain, but put in the hospital pain, fatal pain? Is this really what he wanted? Was he really this low? Did he even have a heart?
"Lucas? Is it supposed to hurt this much?"
"No. Never," he put an arm around her shoulder, and she allowed him to bring her head to his shoulder, he kissed her on the top of her head, "it is never supposed to hurt this much."
"Come on, we have got to be strong, we have got to be strong for her, we cannot do anything standing out here," Lucas told her after a few more minutes, recalling some of what his mom had told him. Haley did not have enough strength alone right now, he had to step up, and with Brooke, and they could help her together.
"You are right, we are selfish to stand out here," she released herself from his hold, and walked in first, and she went to the closest seat to Haley's bed. "Hey, Tutor girl, I was struggling a little in the subject of life, I was wondering if you could open your eyes and give me a little lesson."
Lucas stood back closer to the door still, he watched on, Brooke was so strong, no matter what she was going through alone, she was able to put it aside and be there for anyone else in need. Why did it take him this long to realize it? And why was it too late now? "Hey…Brooke?"
She held Haley's hand and turned around, "Yeah, Luke?"
"I know that this might not mean too much to you now, and that it might be too late, but I am sorry that I have not been there for you in the past, I am sorry that I could not see what everyone else can see. I was blind to the fact that I did not want to see you in pain. I think I am experiencing it again with Haley. Thank you for opening my eyes."
"It is never too late, Lucas. Never."
He walked over to her and sat in the chair next to her, "I am not going to leave again, I am going to be here for you, and for Haley. I am not going to take the easy way out and leave when it gets rough, and then think that I can return and make everything all better. It does not go like that; I have to be there for all of it, not just when I feel like I can be a hero."
"Isn't it a great feeling though?"
"What is?"
"Playing the hero? At that moment nothing else matters. You can feel nothing else. And you finally feel like you matter, and you can make a difference, finally. Just living knowing that you are bettering someone else's life makes you forget for a few seconds that while you are fighting to save another soul, that you do not have to think about your own."
"But that is not how it is supposed to go, Brooke. You do not have to be the only one saving; you can be saved just like the rest of them."
"It is just not in my cards, Lucas. And who would want to save this lost soul anyways?" she asked him, completely unsure of his answer.
"Well I know this one guy, he has pretty much held your heart for a while now, and he was thinking that since he had been holding it so long, that he could at least return it…repaired and beautiful, just like the owner."
"Lucas, stop it, please do not do this now. Please, can you not do this right now?" Yeah, this is what she wanted, but not here, not now.
"Now is as good of time as ever, Brooke. I have waited too long."
"And how long do you think I have been waiting? You know what though; I can wait a little longer. Please, can we focus on one thing right now, let's wait until Haley wakes up, and Haley is safe, and Haley is happy, and then we can talk about my happiness, or lack of it, okay?"
"Brooke, all we are doing is sitting here, you heard the doctor, there is nothing that we can do for Haley, other then sit here with her. So there is no time better then right now then to talk about this, fix this."
"Why do you do this? I tell you that I do not want to talk about it, yet you push me even harder. What do you not understand about 'I do not want to talk about this'? I do not care if you think that we are wasting time sitting here. I don't, and you know what, Haley might be able to hear everything that we are saying. And you know what she is hearing right now? She is hearing her best friend calling her a hopeless cause."
"Haley is not the one that I think is hopeless…" oh no, did he really just say that? "Brooke, I am sorry, that is not what I meant."
"Stop it, Lucas. Just stop it, I know what you mean, you wouldn't have said it if you weren't feeling it."
"Brooke…"
"Stop giving me hope, just stop it, life is so much easier without it."
He could not respond to that, he was trying to help her and he pushed her away a little further. Who was he?
An hour later, Karen and Peyton found the two just as they were…silent. "How is she doing?" Karen asked startling the duo.
"Not awake, that is how she is doing."
"How long does the doctor think it will take?"
"It is all up to Haley."
Karen noticed something in Brooke as she spoke to her, and she did not think that it was possible, and it was even more sadness.
