Ch. 10 - A Monster
The animagus and the werewolf slumped in the first floor waiting area as the healers attended to Emmeline. They told the staff that they'd encountered an aggressive forest troll, though it took a bit more creativity to explain all the blood around Remus' mouth and why he looked so sickly. Revealing his affliction and the truth of the attack would have put him in violation with the ministry and landed him in a cell in Azkaban. They were less than lenient when it came to lycanthropes.
The healers had already fixed up Sirius and he sat faithfully by Remus' side, though he knew better than to make any attempts to console him. Remus was, unsurprisingly, finding it incredibly difficult to just sit still and wait. He could have killed her. They could have been delivering her lifeless body to the hospital instead. What was taking so long, anyway? Had she had a complication? Had she bled out? Oh my God, what if he'd killed her after all? His negligence yesterday was completely, utterly unacceptable. These thoughts tortured his conscience as he loudly drummed his fingers against his knees.
"Blimey mate, you're going to wake the dead," Sirius jested, trying to lighten the mood, or, at least pull him out of his own head. He hadn't killed her after all.
Remus shot him a contemptuous look and rose to his feet. "I'm going back to the lavatory," he grumbled, stalking away. Sirius watched his friend as he went, thinking about how he might've made a joke about this on a better day.
Remus leaned over the faucet and splashed cold water in his face, gripping the sides of the sink to steady himself as he tried not to vomit again. The person in the mirror glared back at him with loathing. Noticing he had not gotten all the crusted blood out from under his cuticles, he scrubbed them furiously for a second time, then double-checked the mirror to make sure he'd scoured the rest from his stubble earlier. He didn't feel well at all; he never did in the days leading up to or following a transformation, but this month seemed particularly vile. Beads of sweat had already re-formed on his ashen forehead, and he could feel a fever coming on. But he was too preoccupied to address this just now, and he pleaded with his aching bones to keep going. Just until I know she's alright. Just a bit longer.
When he rounded the corner back into the waiting room, Sirius was standing. "They said we can go see her."
They were directed into the creature-induced injuries ward. Emmeline smiled lightheartedly from her cot as they approached, looking rather like someone who hadn't just been attacked by a werewolf (or, troll). She was happy to see them, and moreover, she'd made up her mind. She was going to tell him. Life was too short not to.
"How are you?" Remus asked, pulling up a chair beside her and taking her hand. Her warm touch assured him that her blood was, in fact, flowing, which meant she was, in fact, not dead, and that he had, in fact, not killed her.
"I'm fine, they closed up the wounds. They'll send me home soon." Emmeline turned slightly to show off her dressings. "How are you?" she asked, noticing his colorless complexion.
"Fine," he lied. "You'll er...have some scarring," Remus informed her quietly, as the healers would not have treated the lacerations the proper way in their ignorance. "Best to put some silver and dittany when you get home."
"I remember some things from school, Lupin."
"Are you in any pain?"
"None at all, honestly. Besides, I have a high pain tolerance. Black here could've told you that much from Quidditch." Remus hung his head in shame. "Hey," she coaxed, squeezing his hand. "I'm fine. I'm here."
"But you might not have been…"
"I wouldn't have been if it weren't for Sirius." She looked up at him with gratitude. "Thank you."
"All in a day's work, madam. I'd say we make a pretty good troll-hunting team, you and I."
Remus glanced up at him too. It had just occurred to him that he had not yet properly thanked Sirius, not only for last night, but also for his companionship the night before. He stood up and walked around to the other side of the bed, embracing his friend tightly. "Thank you. For everything."
"You'd do the same for me," Sirius assured him, grinning as they let go of each other.
Remus reciprocated with sullen grimace. "I'd never have to."
Suddenly, Sirius' smile vanished as he caught sight of someone else entering the ward. "You're a popular bird, Emmie." Remus and Emmeline turned in the direction he was looking to find Tiberius strutting toward them with alarming hostility.
Emmeline cursed under her breath. "I told them not to send for him."
"You," Tiberius growled, disregarding Emmeline to confront Remus.
"Tiberius stop it," she demanded.
Only then did he acknowledge her, swiveling his head towards her insolently: "You and I are going to have a chat later about what you were doing with him in the first place," he scolded, then he was right back on Remus as if the man had dented his favorite broom. "Look what you've done to her!"
"He didn't do anything, leave him alone." Emmeline pushed the blanket off of herself and tried to stand.
"Emmeline don't," Remus advised, reaching out to get her back into bed.
"Don't touch her," Tiberius ordered. "Letting her in the way of a troll, I can't believe-"
He drew his wand and started towards Remus, but Sirius stepped between them. "I'd back up and put my wand away if I were you." If there hadn't been other patients and healers about, Sirius probably would have capitalized on the opportunity to hex or at least sock him.
"Out of my way, Black."
"Cool off, McLaggen."
"I want the both of you gone. You've done enough."
"You're right," Remus interjected, before Sirius could come back with a rebuttal, verbal or physical. "...He's right. We should go."
"Wait...don't go. Please, Remus-"
"Muffin you don't know what you're talking about, you're still in shock."
"I'm not in shock."
"Muffin?" Sirius mouthed.
Remus regarded her with resignation in his eyes. He was the reason she was there in the first place, and he never wanted to feel responsible for hurting her ever again. "It's alright," he surrendered, slowly backing away from the bed before addressing both Emmeline and Tiberius with devastated sincerity: "I'm so sorry this happened. I won't be bothering either of you anymore, and I wish you both a long, happy life together." That last bit physically hurt to say. Remus met Emmeline's eyes one last time, lingering for a brief moment before turning and walking towards the exit. Sirius felt like a helpless bystander, while Tiberius stared Remus down.
Emmeline was filled with regret, for in all the fuss she had missed her chance to tell Remus what she'd been meaning to tell him all night. Now, present company did not permit such things. "Remus," Emmeline called after him. He disregarded it. Every throbbing bone in his body was screaming for him to turn around, but he disregarded them too.
Sirius looked apologetically at Emmeline before catching up with Remus. "You're not really going to-"
"Yes, I am. I'm...I'm not good for her. I'm not good for anybody." He continued his brisk walk towards the Floo channels on the ground floor.
"Mate he's not good for her. He's a prick and you're-"
"A monster," he hissed, stopping and turning around to face him. "I'm a dangerous half-breed, and I almost killed her."
"Remus, that wasn't-"
"For Godric's sake, leave it alone Sirius, please," he barked over his shoulder.
A tear fell from the corner of Emmeline's eye as she watched Remus exit the ward. Tiberius sat down in his place.
