(PPOV)
Paul sat up, gaping at Bella in surprise. He picked up the t-shirt she had tossed at him and groaned. God, Paul. How in the Hell could you be so stupid?
"Baby, yes, I can explain," Paul said, holding both hands toward her in a silent plea. I just don't know how at the moment.
Bella yelled, "Why did you let me think you don't know him?"
"I-" he began, but Bella cut him off.
She demanded, "Even if you know him, why are his clothes here? Where is Joe now, Paul?" Her emotions seemed to overwhelm her for a moment as she took a deep breath and blinked back angry tears.
Paul stood and attempted to go to her, but she stepped back, putting a hand up to ward him off. Panic, as he had never felt before, smothered him. Paul found he was too emotional to speak. Suddenly explaining himself seemed like the most imminent risk he had ever needed to take.
The only thing I can do is show her. She's going to be pissed either way. Her eyes narrowed in confusion as he held her stare and backed away. He dropped his pants and took a deep breath before shifting.
Paul had expected her anger. He did not expect the shrill cry that tore through her. His wolf whimpered in despair as Paul stood up straight. Paul instinctively stepped towards her again, desperate to ease her fears somehow. Bella remained frozen, gaping while Paul carefully reached to cup her cheek. He slid his fingertips into her hair, praying it wasn't the last time she allowed his touch.
His voice was gruff with emotion as he said, "You have every right to be mad, Baby."
"Y-you … I-I don't understand," she stammered. "H-how is this possible?"
"I don't know," Paul admitted. "I've never known why I can do this, but the rest of the pack can't. I can become other animals. I didn't know I could look like different people until recently." He stroked her hair affectionately before stepping away to phase back. This time, Bella silently observed as he shifted, pulled his pants on, and sat on the side of the bed. He couldn't look at her as she began to pace.
Suspicious, she asked, "Other animals, huh? Like a fox, maybe?"
Paul grimaced and nodded. Her face grew redder as her temper soared, and Bella asked, "Are you … are you stalking me, Paul?"
He froze, wishing he didn't have to answer. He had followed Bella around, hijacked her dates, and more or less inserted himself into her daily life whenever possible. Hell, Leah had already called him out on it twice.
"Y-yes," he stuttered anxiously. Paul cleared his throat, gaining volume as he continued, "Yes, I guess I have. That was never my intention, but yes."
She stared at him incredulously, still gaping in disbelief. Her tears began as fear flitted across her features. Paul's heart seemed to stop in that instant as pain bloomed through his chest. He had never meant for Bella to look at him like that. He felt like he might be sick as every ounce of trust she had for Paul appeared to pour out like tears down her cheeks. He swallowed nervously as a cold resolve overtook her, and her features hardened in anger again.
Before she could speak, he admitted, "I'm sorry I lied, Bells, but I'm not sorry I was there to keep you safe. I'm not sorry for going to the bar last night, either."
Her voice was thick with disbelief as she asked, "Why did you?"
Paul hesitated as he took a deep breath and said, "Why did I go to the bar? Because I missed you. And, you were so worried about 'Joe' that I wanted to give you a little closure with that." He watched as the shock from his revelation slowly fled her features, and something more complex flowed through her.
Wonder. Affection. Hurt. Betrayal. Disbelief. Many darker emotions flashed across her face, somehow pulling him along for the ride. His stomach rolled. Mere seconds had passed like an hour as Paul held his breath.
"No," she corrected him when she finally spoke. "Why did you lie?"
His wolf whined mournfully inside of him, nearly bringing Paul to tears. "I guess it was because I knew it was a shitty thing to do. Following you around to try and keep you safe? I should have just told you." Please don't let me lose her. Fuck. Please. His chest ached as he waited for whatever she had to say next.
Bella admitted, "I saw the similarities between you and Joe. I wondered if you were fucking related, but I never imagined you two were the same goddamn person, Paul."
She turned without another word and walked toward his living room. Paul quickly followed, trying to mask his panic as she pulled her phone from her bag and texted someone. When she removed his t-shirt and began dressing, Paul couldn't take the silence.
He asked, "Bella, what are you doing, Baby?"
"I need to leave. I need to think." She choked back a sob, refusing to look at him.
"Please talk to me," he begged. "I'll answer anything you ask. Just please don't go ghost on me again."
She spun on him angrily as she tugged her cropped top over her braless chest and asked, "Who knows you can do this? Does Jacob know?"
"Yeah, he knows," Paul admitted. Her eyes flashed with renewed rage. "Baby, please don't be mad at him. Only he, Leah, and Sam know. Sam called it a secret weapon, and everyone was alpha ordered to keep quiet about it. You could only be told by me when I was ready. Please, Bella, don't blame any of them for it."
"Oh, I don't," she said. "I remember how the alpha orders work. I blame you. You should have told me that day. In the fucking truck, Paul." Pulling on her shoes, she continued, "I didn't hear what Leah said to you last night, but I saw her giving Joe some sass. Now I fucking know why."
Paul rubbed his hands over his face anxiously as she gathered her raincoat and shoved it into her bag. She said, "I'm going home. I asked Jacob to come and get me. I need to think, and I can't do that here." Bella shoved past him to his bedroom and retrieved the rest of her possessions.
His anxiety reached its breaking point as he yelled, "FUCK!" Paul grabbed the nearest item he could and hurled it across the living room. Glass exploded across the room as his wolf clawed at him from inside. Paul's temper was only building as he cursed himself for not just telling her in the first place, and his limbs began to shake. Bella reappeared in the hallway, trembling from his outburst. He guiltily met her eyes once before yanking down his pants and tossing them over a kitchen chair. He stomped outside and phased to his wolf before pacing the backyard furiously.
Paul stared out across the yard, at a complete loss for words. He had ruined everything. Paul didn't know how to describe what he was feeling. After watching her cut out and go ghost on him before, Paul could only fear the worst. She's going to dump your stupid ass before you even have a real chance, he thought. Wouldn't that be some fitting karma? He didn't understand how someone's heart went back to beating after feeling so thoroughly broken. Worst of all, he had done it to himself.
Headlights flooded his front yard, and Paul phased to grab his pants from the kitchen. His stomach rolled again as he overheard Bella's loud sobbing in his bathroom.
You're officially a piece of shit. Avoiding the broken glass, Paul jogged around the side of the house where Jacob waited in Bella's truck.
Rolling down the window, Jacob asked, "What the fuck happened, man?"
"God," Paul finally groaned, blinking back frustrated tears. Is this it, Lahote? Is this the day you finally cry over a girl in front of your brother like a fucking pussy? Looking up at the sympathetic frown on Jacob's face, Paul scoffed at himself and nodded as a single tear escaped. Yep. It looks like it. He brushed it away quickly and said, "I fucked it all up. She knows what I can do now. She knows I've been following her around. She's furious with me. Jake, I gotta fix this."
Jacob said, "It might take a minute. It's because of Ed, you know?"
Paul's brow furrowed in confusion as he asked, "What does the Leech have to do with anything?" Paul was getting very damn annoyed with the Edward Cullen of it all. He didn't even know the motherfucker, but somehow he had managed to affect the last five years of their lives.
The front door slammed shut as Bella walked toward them and snapped, "He stalked me, Paul. He inserted himself into every part of my life. He fucking brainwashed me and controlled almost everything I did."
Paul spun toward her in surprise. He had not even heard her come outside. She pushed herself directly up against his chest, glaring up at him. Paul would have found it comical had the situation been different. Bella followed as he backed away, finally stopping with his back against the truck and nowhere else to go.
She asked, "Is that what you're trying to do, Paul? Tell me the truth. Why am I the person you chose to pursue when you have never wanted a relationship? Am I so fucking mentally damaged that you think I'm easy to manipulate? Why would you ever think it was okay to do the shit you're doing?"
Infuriated by the accusations, Paul hissed, "I'm nothing like your ex. From the first time I saw you, I chose you. We," he corrected, "chose you. It's not an imprint, but the wolf feels the same. I have zero intention of trying to fuck with your head or make you think I am anything I am not. I have never forced you to do anything or even purposely disrespected you."
Bella asked, "You don't believe that stalking me and lying to me about it is intentionally disrespecting me? Seriously?"
Paul admitted, "I've been disrespectful for more or less keeping tabs on you, yes. But that was not the intention behind what I did."
"Your intentions don't invalidate my feelings, Paul. You violated my privacy and made plans that concern me without my knowledge. That shit is unacceptable."
Her disapproval cut his wolf to the quick. Softening his tone, he said, "I know this looks bad, Bella, but I swear I have never had bad intentions toward you. I don't want to manipulate or mislead you in any way. I just don't know how to stay away from you. I really don't."
"Wrong fucking answer," she spat, poking him in the chest with her sharply pointed index nail. "I've heard that one before, too."
"I'm not Edward fucking Cullen," Paul yelled in aggravation.
Bella hissed, "You would never allow someone to do this shit to you."
She's not fucking wrong, you asshole. Angry tears welled in her eyes as she glared at Paul. He fought the urge to embrace and comfort her as he sighed defeatedly. He had no argument to make.
"You're right," he finally admitted. Paul would have never let someone get away with following him around and trying to intercept his plans with other people this way. Not even Sam could control what Paul did in his free time. Had he not immediately cut Shari off for laying claim to him that she didn't have?
Why did you ever think this shit was okay to do to her? Leah is right. You're a fucking creep. And to think, he thought he couldn't feel lower. "I'm sorry, Bella. Truly. I'm a complete goddamned idiot." As Bella finally backed away, he slipped around her and walked toward the house.
This shit is over. Bella is never going to want to be with you now, Dude. You might as well forget she fucking exists.
Reaching for the doorknob, Bella grabbed his elbow. He paused as she demanded, "Where are you going?"
Paul took a deep breath before turning to face her as he swung open the door. "You're leaving, right?" He gestured to the truck, ignoring the grimace on Jacob's face as he pretended not to listen.
Paul said, "I can't take you just cutting me out, Bella. I don't know how to deal with it, okay? Date who you want. Do what you want. It's none of my business what you do when I'm not around, and I will start respecting that by staying as far away as possible. I honestly don't know what the fuck I was thinking. Goodbye, Bella."
As he turned toward the door again, she hissed, "That's not what I want!"
Paul sighed in exasperation, refusing to allow himself any hope. It would be easier to deal with the pain when she went back to ignoring his texts and calls. He pleaded, "Please, tell me what you want from me, Bella. Exactly what you want so I can stop trying to fucking figure it out."
She took a step back as if he'd slapped her. "You know what? I don't even know right now," Bella said coldly before an angry tear escaped down her cheek.
He slipped into the house as her grip fell from his elbow. Paul plopped down on the couch, watching through the window as Bella climbed into the passenger seat of her truck next to Jacob and slammed the door shut.
One nearly undetectable sympathetic nod from Jacob and the emerald green pickup carried away the only woman Paul had ever loved, taking half his heart with it.
(B POV)
Bella leaned away from Jacob, burrowing against the passenger door as she cried. She didn't want the imprint to soothe and exhaust her. Bella wanted to feel her anger in its natural state, to remember later why it had been so significant. She cursed herself silently for not remembering her vape.
"I'm really sorry, Bells," Jacob said, reaching to put his hand on her side.
"Don't," she choked out, pushing his hand away. "I don't want the imprint bullshit right now. Just let me fucking deal." Despite what she said to Paul, she was mad at Jacob. Alpha order or not, Bella had long since learned nothing overruled imprint status.
He could have told me. He just didn't want to.
Jacob remained silent on the ride home and didn't attempt to touch her again. She felt the familiar turns and twists as she stared at the floorboard. Jacob's aggravated sigh as he turned into their driveway made her glance at her surroundings. Bella groaned as she spotted Charlie's cruiser behind the Rabbitt and Reagan's car parked in her spot.
For fuck's sake, she thought and rolled her eyes. A house full of people was not what she needed right now.
Jacob grumbled, "How much do you want to bet that your dad is interrogating Rae right now?"
"Zero dollars, Buddy," Bella said and sniffled as she wiped her tears away. "I'm sure you're right."
"I usually am," he teased, trying to make her smile.
Bella took a deep breath and admitted, "I'm mad at you, you know? You could have told me, Jake."
"No, I couldn't, Bells," he said. "The Imprint status doesn't overrule all the alpha orders. It overrules anything that would put you in danger. You were never in any danger with Paul."
"Bullshit," Bella snapped. "My fucking mental health is in danger, Jacob. You know how I feel about being followed around and manipulated."
Jacob scowled at her and opened the driver's side door. "Paul loves you, Bella."
"Don't make that fucking declaration for him," Bella said.
"It's true," Jacob argued. "All he's wanted to do since you met is keep you safe and be with you. I'm going to tell you something I shouldn't because it's not my fucking place, but I can feel how he feels about you. The whole pack can, and it's authentic Bells. I would swear it was a fucking imprint if I didn't know better. He only went home with Shari that night because he couldn't deal with seeing you kiss someone else. He loves you so damn much that he doesn't even care that you and I were fucking around for years. He went into this situation knowing what you and I are to each other and accepting the physical connection you and I have."
She argued, "How he feels about me does not give him the right to follow me around and manipulate the situations that I'm in. He has directly interfered with every date I went on. He lied to my face while disguised as a stranger. It feels like Edward all over again!"
Jacob scoffed and shook his head angrily. "How can you even say something like that?"
"It's true," she insisted. They each climbed out of the truck and slammed the doors shut. Walking around the vehicles, Bella said, "He saved me from getting squished by a car. So did Edward. The last time I was in danger in Port Angeles, Edward took me to a restaurant after saving me. The last time I was in Port Angeles, Paul helped me escape Edward from the same restaurant!"
Jacob frowned and stopped walking, thinking about what she had said. "Okay, that is weird."
Bella said, "Both suddenly claim to love me but barely knew me. Both followed me around. Both violated my privacy, inserting themselves into my social life and interrupting my plans with other people. And you know what? In the end, both of them told me to go do me and promised to fucking stay away."
Jacob was dumbstricken, gaping at nothing in silence while he contemplated her words. His eyes met hers as he shook his head apologetically. He said, "Bells, I'm sorry. I can see Paul's side, but I can't say you're wrong, either. I think you need to talk this shit out with him."
"I don't think he wants that," Bella said as she blinked back tears. "I love him, Jake. So much it fucking terrifies me. And now, instead of giving me time to wrap my head around this shit, he tells me to fuck off, more or less. As if I'm the problem in this situation."
"Bells," Jacob said, "I think he's just mad at himself for hurting you. He doesn't let people in as he has with you, and Paul thinks he fucked everything up."
She said, "I feel betrayed. I can't help it. Not just by Paul, either. You, Sam, and Leah. You weren't allowed to tell me he could shift into other things, but you could have told me you knew he was following me the fuck around. The four people I would trust most in any situation were keeping something from me that they knew would upset me. I'm fucking pissed at all of you." Her voice broke, and she choked out a sob.
Jacob rushed to wrap his arms around her, muttering his apologies in between quiet reassurances and comforting words. She did not fight against the imprint this time, unloading her tears against the soft cotton of his shirt.
As it turned out, Charlie did interrogate Reagan. She eventually came outside to claim her boyfriend and save herself.
Bella heard the screen door open and shut as Rae stepped outside. She was aware of Reagan watching them despite having her face buried against Jacob's chest. The next thing Bella knew, Reagan was pressed to Bella's back, wrapping her arms around them both as far as she could. Jacob chuckled, prompting Bella to lift her head as his chest shook. She couldn't suppress a giggle as Reagan hugged her tighter.
Leaning back into the hug, Bella said, "Thanks, Rae."
"Anytime," Reagan said before releasing her. "Are you okay?"
"Not really," Bella said, "But I'll live. I'm going to go grab a shower and go back to sleep, I think."
"Sounds like a good plan," Jacob encouraged as he moved to put his arm around Reagan's shoulders.
Charlie and Billy were watching an old western when Bella entered the house. One glance at her red, tear-stained face had them both scowling.
Billy asked, "Bella? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she said as she darted toward her room, eager to grab clothes and shower. Every inch of her skin smelled like sweat, sex, and Paul. Bella gathered clean pajamas before being stopped by Charlie on her way to the bathroom. She cradled her clothes to her chest as she remembered her lack of a bra and fought the urge to cringe.
"I came here to tell ya some stuff, but now I'm wondering if I should," Charlie said. "What happened, Bells?"
"Dad, don't worry about it," Bella said. The last thing she wanted to do was negatively affect Paul's relationship with Charlie. "What did you need to tell me?"
Charlie scowled at her suspiciously and asked, "You and Paul fighting?"
Bella huffed as she blinked back tears and nodded.
Charlie asked, "You wanna tell me about it?"
Bella shook her head no. "Not this time, Chief." She gestured with one hand for him to continue talking.
Charlie looked away from her and sighed heavily. "Riley died yesterday morning, Bells. His case is officially a murder. Forensics believes he was involved in two separate incidents. He was beaten up first in a bar fight in Forks. That incident was on surveillance, and the person he fought with got charged with felony assault."
"Good," Bella said earnestly. "What about the hit and run?"
"Guy's vehicle is clean, and tire prints don't match," Charlie said. "Someone else ran him over, Bells."
"Sounds like he had a lot of enemies," Bella said sadly. "I'm still creeped out about that letter," she admitted.
"Yeah," he agreed. "Me too. I'll be going to the funeral services next week. Let me know if you wanna come along."
"I'll think about it," Bella said. "I'm really sorry, Dad." She gave him a sympathetic smile, recognizing the same kind heart in her father that she carried. They each cared too much and forgave more than either should. Charlie forced a smile and pulled her against him for a hug. His mustache tickled her forehead as he placed a quick kiss there and let her go.
She shook her head as her father moved back to the living room and settled back into his usual seat.
"Psst."
Bella turned to find Jacob leaning out of his bedroom doorway. He held out a t-shirt to her and she walked over to take it from him. "Thank you," she said gratefully.
"I wore it for a little while yesterday. Figured it might help you sleep," Jacob whispered.
"I appreciate it," she said, doubting she would sleep very well regardless.
A shower had the opposite effect she craved, unfortunately waking her up rather than helping her relax. Bella found her vape and went out to the backyard to smoke. Turning to the area where she tackled Paul on Monday, the memory immediately had her sobbing again.
Has it only been a few days? It seemed as if since she moved back to La Push, the constant emotional stress made days pass like weeks and the weeks pass like months. Bella wondered for the first time if moving back home had been the right decision.
She cursed under her breath as the shrill ring of her cell phone startled her. Through her sniffling, Bella blindly answered, "Hello?"
"Hey," rang the familiar voice. Bella wiped the tears from her face as she tried to focus on the screen. "I had an eerie feeling that I should check on you. I'd ask if you're okay, but I'm going to go ahead and assume that's a no."
Bella laughed bitterly. How fitting that Alex would choose right now to call. She couldn't help but feel disappointed that it wasn't Paul. "No," she answered. "It's been a long week."
His voice was thick with concern as Alex asked, "Have you had more problems with your ex?"
"Yeah, you could say that," Bella admitted. "Among other things."
"Would you like to talk about it?"
"Not really," she answered. "I argued with a loved one. I'm sure shit will be fine."
"I'm sure it will," he reassured her softly. "You know, the offer to get away for the weekend still stands."
Wait. What? She sighed in aggravation, remembering she had never gotten the chance to tell him she didn't want a romantic relationship with him. It was a shame since she could certainly use a couple of days away from all of the drama. Considering his possible connection to Edward, the point was moot. Then again, maybe I could finally just talk to Edward and end this whole mess. An idea struck her that she would need to discuss with the pack carefully before making plans. "Alex?"
"Yeah?"
"I think we need to talk."
Please review, folks.
Shout out to all the Ratties, Kitties, and Clowns. xo.
