I feel like so many of these could start or end and Susan story, maybe even both. I was brain storming, but they turned into a semi-nice collection of shorts.

ooo

She forgets Narnia, or so she says – so she convinces herself. But she claims a perfect memory thereafter. It's simply a part of her repertoire for this new modern girl she's becoming.

As a result, she remembers her senses. It's no surprise to herself really. After all. She's always been sensible, and just now she's become sensual as well.

ooo

The first thing she feels is soft beaver fur, but the first thing she feels is her heart break.

ooo

"I can't believe you, Susan."

"How could you? How could you?"

She hears them, but pretends not to. She's used to Edmund, though Lucy's voice still shatters her very core. She thinks of Peter, but ignores all of it. Does ignoring have anything to do with ignorance? That's either a very sensible question or a very stupid one. Doesn't matter. Now she almost wants to slap herself as much as she wants to slap him.

ooo

The smell of her perfume permeates her own thoughts, and she instantly regrets spraying on so much. It had been an act of retaliation. They disapproved. And what's more, she knew he hated it too. But now that a handkerchief is at her nose, she's come to her senses and wishes that it would be as simple as ridding herself of this perfume to make him love her again.

ooo

He tastes horrible, but somehow she takes pleasure in her displeasure. He's come home drunk every night for a week now, but she's the only one up late enough to catch this. She tells herself it's because she's the next eldest. She has to wait.

He presses his lips hard against hers, and she no longer knows why she avoided this so long just to break for this shell of the man she loves. She now half hopes he really is completely drunk – half wishes she were too.

ooo

She sees the emptiness of the house and wonders what she'll do without her siblings. Then she realizes that they've been dead to her for a long time. She cries tears that are probably ruining the make up on her doll-like face. She wonders if, all this time, she was already dead to them too.

Except, she realizes, they are probably more alive for her now. Because she doesn't deny them anymore. Doesn't crush the thought of joining in in their happiness. Isn't scared of too much affection for Peter, because she thinks that if she could see him now, whatever affection she feared before wouldn't even begin to be enough to shower him with now.

Somehow, she finds herself in front of a wardrobe long avoided. Now she's crawling like a child, through the thick beaver coats. Now she's reaching out –

ooo

The first thing she feels is hard wood, but the first thing she feels, without knowing why, is her heart break.