Inu's "Dragon"

Chapter 1: Enter Inuyasha, the Drunk Idiot

On and on Kagome walked, trying to find the best place to settle down for the night, singing a song all Inufans know from the TV show.

(Note-LilbunUWiz: Just to let you know, this fanfic's a musical.

Audience: Ya think?)

Kagome: I want to change the world…

When suddenly…

DUN DUN DUN DUN!

She came across a sign with the words painted on it: Shimonoseki-1 km.

Kagome: struggles to read sign HOW-MI-YA-ZA-KI?

Shimonoseki! Not Hayao Miyazaki! If Miyazaki directed this movie your name would be Chihiro, this film would be called Spirited Away, you'd be looking at a bathhouse, Inuyasha would be a river spirit named Haku, and you'd be younger than you are currently!

Kagome: But I LIKE my boobs!

AND you wouldn't be wearing rags!

Kagome: Oh thanks for reminding me that I'm only wearing SKIMPY RAGS THAT BARELY COVER MY "PARTS"!

I wouldn't have done so if you read the sign properly!

Kagome: Well because I'm starving here my eyesight isn't really that well fixed, ok!

Anyway, continuing on with the story…

Kagome: Finally! runs as fast as she could towards Shimonoseki Hotels, here I come!

However, when she arrived at the little Japanese seaside town of Shimonoseki, Kagome was utterly disappointed. There was no hotel that was either cheap enough or vacant except for one tiny place called "The Hammerhead", which was a bar for guys that wanted to catch some alcohol and/or hot chicks.

So dear Kagome had no choice but to rest herself in a small cave near a lighthouse by the seashore. She didn't want to but it was the only spot to go to in order to get some sleep and an area away from Naraku and co.

Somebody else, though, was going in the same direction.

A guy the same age as her, wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans, with long white hair and doggy ears, heavily drunk, with a beer bottle in hand, who came straight from The Hammerhead, entered in the cave an hour after Kagome did.

She was asleep and didn't notice that there was anyone else present in her hideout.

Inuyasha, one of the settlers in the lighthouse and the "Drunk Idiot" (hence the name of this chapter), saw nothing in the cave but a bunch of rags (Kagome) lying on the ground. After taking a swig from his beer bottle, he swaggered a little bit further. To his surprise the rags moved, causing him to jump back in fright.

Inuyasha: EEK!

The scream scared Kagome and woke her up.

Kagome: AAH!

Inuyasha: AAARRRGGGHHH!

The great movement of voices got Kagome's ragged clothing to flare out. Inuyasha's drugged mind made him think that she was a horrible beast and he sped out of the cave, filled with terrifying terror.

Any townsfolk knew that he was heading back to The Hammerhead. He hurriedly tried to explain to the people in the pub that he saw what he saw, automatically breaking into song.

I Saw a Dragon

Music and lyrics by Al Kasha and Joel Hirschhorn

Performed by Inuyasha, Miroku, and the Townsmen

Lyrics reprinted for Fanfic purposes

Inuyasha: A dragon, a dragon

I swear I saw a dragon

A green and seething, fire breathing

Monster is in sight

With eyes of red, a lion's head

And wings as dark as night

Oh, he has a jaw of gleaming teeth

He's fifty feet in height

It's true, it's true

Oh, what are we to do?

It's true, it's true

He'll turn us into stew!

It's "He'll break us all in two"! Not "He'll turn us into stew"!

Inuyasha: shrugs and continues

Oh, he's coming and his great big fin

Is right against the door

So board up all the windows

He ran towards the door to lock it up from the "dragon".

Inuyasha: And get down on the floor!

The door opened, knocking Inuyasha into a table.

Miroku, the owner of the lighthouse and takes care of Inuyasha, appeared, wearing an apron.

Miroku: Has anybody seen Inuyasha?

The men nodded and pointed to the hanyou lying on the floor.

Miroku: What the hell happened to you?

Inuyasha: There's a DRAGON on the loose!

Miroku: A WHAT?

Inuyasha: A DRAGON, Miroku, a DRAGON! Oh, thank God you're in here instead of out there!

Miroku: But I… I don't know what you're talking about!

Inuyasha returned to his singing.

Inuyasha: A dragon, a dragon

I swear I saw a dragon

His tail lashing, he'll be smashing

Every shop in town

With scaly feet he'll crack the street

And tear the steeple down

It's not some loony dream I heard a SCREAM

From Mr. Brown watches people with "?" on their foreheads

It's true, it's true

Oh, what are we to do?

It's true, it's true

Owner of The Hammerhead: Oh, Inu's in a stew!

Townsmen: A dragon, a dragon

Oh, Inu saw a dragon

Man 1: He's bleary-eyed!

Man 2: He's ossified!

Man 3: He's tighter than a tick!

Townsmen: He had too much to drink today

So call a doctor quick!

Miroku: I'd better take him home to bed

Before YOU MAKE HIM SICK!

Inuyasha: We're sunk, we're sunk

Guy with cigar: Go on with you, you're drunk

Townsmen: A dragon, a dragon

He says he saw a dragon

Miroku: The game is done; you've had your fun

My friend's been through enough

So won't you all behave yourselves?

I don't want any guff!

You're like a bunch of little boys

Who play at being tough!

You'll see, you'll see

You've met your match in me!

Inuyasha: Oh, you always jeer and laugh and sneer

But look across the square!

Townsmen: All right we'll go and take a look

And as the Townsmen "looked across the square"…

Townsmen: Good lord!

GOOD LORD!

There's ab-so-lute-ly…

NOTHING ANYWHERE!

Inuyasha: It WAS there!

A dragon, a DRAGON!

I SWEAR there was a DRAGON!

Townsmen: You're off your hinges, all those binges

Put you in a haze

Miroku: You crazy fools it's all YOUR doggone fault

He's in a daze!

The Townsmen ignored Miroku and took him away.

Miroku: Let go of me, LET GO OF ME

And mend your WICKED ways!

Townsmen: What makes you think there ever was?

You know there never never never never never never never never never never was a dragon!

A DRAGON!

So after Inuyasha's major drunken streak Miroku thought it was time to take him back home to the lighthouse. He, himself, went to The Hammerhead for the women ('tis of no surprise), but decided that his friend had gotten a little too far. Honestly, he thought, a DRAGON? What next?

Inuyasha (groggy-headed): A… a… a… beast… monster… DRAGON…

It was a long and struggling process in getting Inu-boy to the place of light. The monk had to drag him along the beach sand and then carry him into the house. Not pleasant, eh?

Inuyasha: … fluffy clouds…

Unfortunately for Miroku, the hardest part was getting Inuyasha to lie down and go to sleep.

Miroku: puts cloth on Inu's forehead Just calm it and rest.

Inuyasha: There was a dragon… I swear…

Miroku: It's okay, now rest your head.

Inuyasha: No… trust me on this one… I saw it…

Miroku: Do you want me to do what I did to you last time?

Inuyasha: Stop ignoring me! A DRAGON IS IN THE CAVE JUST ON THE BEACH!

Miroku: Sure.

Inuyasha: There is a…

Miroku: LIE DOWN! stomps on Inu's back

Half an hour later…

Inuyasha finally went to sleep so Miroku actually had some time to himself. He walked out the lighthouse, remembering when he got it.

He was alone with no place to live when he stayed at the guy's lighthouse, saying that "an aluminous black cloud was over it". Then the guy sailed out for "some apparent reason" and he asked Miroku to guard the place. He never returned. Inuyasha came soon after to escape from the demons.

Miroku sighed deeply and looked out onto the beach. He thought of many things as he stood on the railing: The Hammerhead, the former owner of his home, Inuyasha and his "dragon", his wife, Sango…

He stopped there.

Miroku (muttering): I guess I'll go and see what's REALLY going on at that cave. looks over at cave

Taking off his apron and putting on his traditional monk outfit he set out toward the shallow cave, monk staff accompanying him. He didn't think there'd be anything at his destination but he was armed, just in case.

What he saw in the small mount was not what he expected. Instead of a bear, wolf, or dragon, even, he found, unconscious from exhaustion and starvation, Kagome Higurashi.

Miroku: drops staff in shock Boy was Inuyasha drunk…

He looked down at her poor shabby attire, examining her slender body figure.

Miroku: Well I'm sure to give it a try…

(Note: LilbunUWiz: When a sentence is between and , it means that the person is saying that/those sentence(s).)

He smiled until he thought of what Sango might say.

Miroku: sigh Resist all temptation…

Thinking that in his mind, unfortunately, hurt him still more. It just reminded him too much of Sango. He missed her so much: Her comforting smile, her hot boiling temper, her determined face, even her slapping him whenever he tried to caress her breathtaking stature.

Realizing that tears were coming to his eyes he quickly wiped them away and gradually but gently picked up the starving young female.