It was a beautiful late June day in Tokyo. The sun was shining, the air wasn't too humid, and a beautiful breeze was blowing that made everything feel deliciously light and cool.
Tohru was out in the courtyard behind Kazuma's house in the Sohma Dojo, bringing down the laundry from the clothesline. She loved doing laundry on days like today; between the breeze and the sunshine, everything dried quickly, and it always smelled wonderfully crisp and fresh. Kazuma might have tried to dissuade her, but she'd laughed him off; he was housing the four of them for the long weekend, the least she could do was some laundry!
Besides, he had a better chance of spontaneously knowing Russian than convincing her to skimp on chores, and they both knew it.
She was in a great mood as she brought down each piece from the line and added it to the laundry basket, ready to bring inside and fold. Though it she was being honest, she couldn't fully attribute that to the laundry, or even the weather.
"You know, Kyo, this would go a lot faster if you actually helped," Tohru said with a giggle, glancing over her shoulder at her husband. He was right behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist and his body pressed against hers, nuzzling affectionately at the base of her neck.
And while she might have a point, Kyo didn't exactly care just then. "The laundry'd be fine waiting, Tohru. It didn't have to be done today, it definitely doesn't have to be done right now. You, on the other hand," he said, planting a kiss on the underside of her jaw, "do."
Tohru giggled again, allowing herself to be pulled closer against him. She loved many things about Kyo Sohma, and always had, but one thing that had never failed to delight her was the way he'd always wanted her. Whether it was when she was a mousey high schooler, heavily pregnant, depressingly postpartum, covered in dirt, or thoroughly bundled in winter gear, he always found her attractive, and he never hesitated to say so.
It was nice.
Though at the same time, it wasn't always helpful.
"It's only been twenty minutes since Master Kazuma left with the boys, Kyo, and they're not going to be back until after dinner! There is more than enough time for you to let me finish with the laundry, we have hours," she said, giggling more.
"So? Maybe I want hours," he said, nipping at her ear. A little shiver ran through her, but she determinedly pressed on.
"We're not nineteen anymore, you know," she said, glancing back at him affectionately, and he shrugged.
"And? Twenty-nine's not too bad either, it's not like we're dead," he said, giving her a grin.
She couldn't argue with that, or the way that his now-roaming hands were making her feel. But Tohru Sohma was a firm believer in finishing what she'd started, no matter what the temptation.
Tossing the latest shirt into the laundry basket, she caught Kyo's hands and hugged them, then turned in his grasp to face him. He was grinning even wider now, the sharp points of his canine teeth giving the look that feral quality that always failed to set her heart racing. And she could tell he was feeling pretty triumphant, as he started to lean in for a kiss. But she raised her hand, pressing her fingers over his lips instead.
"The sooner you help me finish with the laundry, the sooner we can go inside," she said, smiling up at him sweetly.
Kyo groaned, but let her go. "Why'd I marry such a tease?" he mock-grumbled, finally reaching up to help her take down the laundry. He was much faster than her; his height always gave him an unfair advantage when it came to the clotheslines, and with as motivated as he was, he practically flew down the line. Soon, all of the laundry was in the basket, and he gave her a hopeful look. "So..."
She pointed to the basket, and he sighed dramatically before picking it up. But she took his arm as the two of them headed towards the back deck and back into the house.
"You've got no sense of spontaneity, Tohru," he chided her with a smile. And she giggled, shrugging her shoulders.
"Spontaneity is for teenagers, Kyo, not parents with young children!"
"Yeah, well, it's definitely for parents whose kids are gone for a couple hours and have the house to themselves for a change by some god-given miracle," Kyo said, walking into the living room and looking down at the laundry with a sigh. "I guess you want to fold this now, too, huh?"
"That was my plan," she said, walking out of the living room and starting down the hall to the staircase. He sighed again, following her and stopping at the foot of the stairs as she quickly made her way to the second floor.
"Wrinkles never hurt anyone, Tohru!"
"Neither did waiting a few minutes," she called back, her voice mischievous.
Kyo shook his head and was just starting up the stairs himself when suddenly a ball of fabric came flying down and hit him in the face before tumbling into the basket. "Geez, Tohru, aren't there enough things in here al-"
He'd shifted the basket to one arm to see what she'd chucked at him with the other, and he broke off mid-word as he realized he was holding the dress she'd just been wearing. Then the feral grin was back, and the laundry was abandoned as he raced up after her.
"Ok, Sohma; follow-ups, or files?"
Tohru swiveled around in her office chair at the front desk of the Nigeyashi Women's Clinic, looking over at her coworker Ami Takahashi. It was Monday morning, and the Sohma family was back home in Hibe, which meant Tohru was back at work, considering her options from the two choices Ami had given her.
"I'll take follow-ups, if you don't have a preference," she said, after a moment's thought.
Ami shook her head. "Nope, go for it. You're much better at voice messages than I am, anyway."
Tohru giggled as Ami got up and headed back to the stack of patient files ready to be sorted and put away. "Hey, sometimes they answer, you know!"
"Yes, and a lot of the time they don't."
Tohru couldn't argue with that, but that was ok. She didn't mind leaving voice messages; after years working the front desk, she'd gotten pretty good at it.
"Hi, this message is for Ms. Takako Abe; this is the Nigeyashi Women's Clinic calling to remind you to call and schedule your next appointment. We can be reached at ***********"
Follow-ups tended to take longer than files, but Tohru didn't mind. She liked talking to people, even if it was a voicemail half the time, and when she did get ahold of someone, it was always nice to take a little time to exchange pleasantries. Ami was taking care of the inbound calls and patients while Tohru was on the phone, but even then Ami was done with her filing long before Tohru got through her list.
"Yes, I've got that marked down for you! That's right, 11:45 on the 5th. We'll see you then, thanks so much, Mrs. Shimizu!" Hanging up the phone, Tohru pulled up her list again, to get her next reminder:
Patient name: Sohma, Tohru. Reason: Birth control implant replacement. System note: Overdue.
Tohru's eyes widened as she read the note. That was right...she had completely forgotten to schedule her appointment to replace her birth control! It had come up in reminders nearly a month ago, and Ami, who'd been scheduling them, had asked her when she wanted to do it. Tohru had said she'd just put it down herself after she figured it out...and completely forgotten.
Tohru was kicking herself. She worked at the clinic, there was no excuse for her to be negligent on her own care! She barely even had to take time off of work; just a few minutes away from the desk, that was all. She probably could have had it done that very day, if she'd asked! And now here she was, over two weeks past the recommended replacement date with her own name looking back at her from the computer screen in big, bold reproachful letters.
For the moment, though, she dismissed the reminder, checking the little box next to it indicating 'Complete' before moving on to the next entry. But as soon as she was done with the follow-ups, she was going to see if one of the doctors had a few minutes free that day.
Fortunately, Tohru was able to get implant swapped out before she went home, and she felt a lot better once it was done. Dr. Sato, who'd taken care of it for her, had told her she probably didn't need to worry; while it was best to replace the implants before three years had passed, two weeks wasn't likely to be significant. "Many, many things would have to line up perfectly, Sohma, and it's not uncommon for the hormones to linger longer even after the 'official' expiration date," he'd told her with a smile, and she'd let out a long, relieved sigh as she left the exam room.
Highly unlikely. Highly unlikely. There was nothing to worry about, not at all.
Still...she'd feel a lot better the next time her cycle came around.
Four weeks later, Tohru was feeling a lot less calm about the whole thing. She doubted she'd even been more alert to her body, or more interested in her cycle in her life; each day that passed without anything happening made her feel more and more anxious. She was over two weeks past due now, and anxiety and nerves had become her near-constant companions.
Tohru didn't know what the right thing to do was, not currently. She hadn't mentioned the implant snafu to Kyo, figuring that it would concern him for no real reason. But then she'd approached, and passed, the day her cycle ought to have begun with nothing happening...and she didn't know what to do. She ought to tell him, she knew. She had taken a pregnancy test for Hajime without telling him, and he'd been very upset about it; before they'd started trying for Katsuro, he'd told her that he wanted to know if she even suspected she might be pregnant, before any test entered the picture.
But with Katsuro, they'd been trying.
Tohru paced up and down on the sidewalk outside of Katsuro's daycare, trying to decide what to do. Aside of being anxious, she felt completely fine; if it wasn't for the fact she knew her body, she'd have no reason to suspect a thing. And she might be wrong. Stress could mess with things, she knew, and she'd been pretty stressed since she figured out she was late on her implant. It could just be stress.
But she could also be pregnant.
Tohru took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. There were a lot of 'coulds' there, she knew. Obviously, the logical thing to do was just take a pregnancy test, and then she'd know.
But could she do that without Kyo? Should she do that without Kyo?
She wished it wasn't the end of July. The summer was always the busiest season at the Dojo, between school being out and preparation for the annual exhibition that took place during Hibe's Summer Festival the end of August. Things weren't as hectic for Kyo as they'd be in another couple weeks, but if she was pregnant, the timing was...less than ideal. Kyo needed her to pick up almost all the slack around the house during August; he would be at the Dojo until late every night, so she'd be on point with the boys and the house from the time she got off work until bedtime, except for the small window of time Kyo was home for supper.
And while she felt fine right now, her previous two pregnancies had been heralded by extreme fatigue that knocked her on her butt for weeks.
If she told Kyo what she suspected, she might worry him for nothing, which he didn't need right now. But if she didn't tell him, and it was positive, then he might very well end up hurt. And if it was positive, then either way...
Tohru took a long breath, then squared her shoulders and walked up to the daycare door. First things first: she needed to get Katsuro. And she'd also need to get Hajime from his summer vacation program, but before that...she was going to buy a pregnancy test.
And tonight, she was going to talk to her husband.
Tohru and Kyo sat side by side on the edge of their bed, Tohru looking anxiously over at Kyo. He was ghostly pale, and he couldn't seem to take his staring eyes off of his folded hands. He also hadn't said anything yet, which was...less than encouraging.
"Say something, please?" She finally asked, unable to handle the silence any more, and he eventually turned to look at her.
He looked completely freaked out, Tohru had to say, and she couldn't exactly blame him. They had talked a lot about a third child, starting way back before they even had one child. And in all their conversations, Kyo had been...less than enthusiastic. Two had always seemed like the perfect number to him; a one-to-one parent/child felt the least chaotic, and the least difficult if they were going to be a multi-child household. For a while after Hajime was born, he'd actually advocated stopping with just one, but once more time had passed and he and Tohru were able to move past the trauma of Hajime's birth, he'd agreed once more to the idea of two.
But three...that was something else entirely. Tohru had wanted three, and been excited about the prospect of three. But Kyo hadn't been onboard, not yet, and so they'd decided to have Tohru get a new implant while they continued to discuss the insanely long list of pros and cons on either side of that question. They had time; they were only twenty-nine, so it wasn't like there was any rush.
Kyo's feelings about a third child were a big part of Tohru's hesitancy about telling him her suspicions. As of their most recent conversation, he was still set on two, but open to discussing it in another year, when Katsuro was four. In his opinion things were pretty hectic as they were right now; Hajime had just started elementary school that spring, and they were dealing with some three-year-old behavioral issues and acting out from Katsuro. Between those things, Kyo felt life was crazy enough.
And she could admit he had a point.
But that was all the more reason she needed him to talk to her now, to hold her hand and say something encouraging. She might be wrong; it was possible she was just very off cycle. But if she wasn't...
At her pleading look, he took a deep breath. It didn't bring back his color, or do anything to drive away the look on his face, but at least he could talk to her.
"So...how did this happen?" he asked, finally, and Tohru looked down.
"I needed to schedule having my implant replaced...and I forgot," she said, her voice small.
"You forgot," he repeated numbly, and Tohru suddenly looked up with panicked eyes.
"It was an accident, Kyo, a complete accident! I meant to do it, I really did, but then I got busy and distracted, and it just...didn't happen." She said, looking back down into her lap again. "I did have it done right away when it came up in the system as overdue, but that was about two weeks late."
Kyo was quiet for a long time, and Tohru kept shooting him panicked looks. Surely...he wouldn't think she'd done it on purpose?
"So...you have one now?"
She nodded. "Yes. But if something happened before that..." she trailed off, looking at him hesitantly, and he swallowed again.
"But...you feel normal? Not tired, or anything?"
That time she shook her head. "No, not tired. But I'm over two weeks late, and so..."
"So..." Kyo repeated, his voice still heavy.
They were both silent for a long time, each of them deep in thought. Kyo was staring at his hands again, and Tohru kept shooting him anxious looks, wishing he'd smile, or take her hand, or squeeze her knee, or do something other than just sit there and stare.
Maybe it would have been better if she'd just taken the test without telling him.
"So..." he finally began, looking up again. "You're gonna take a test, right?"
She nodded. "Tomorrow morning."
He nodded, then took another breath. "Well...I guess we'll just see what happens tomorrow, and go from there."
The next morning, Tohru's alarm went off at six, just like it always did, and she reached over to turn it off before sliding out of bed. She was just walking over to the master bath when the bedroom opened and Kyo strode in, his hair still dark from his recent shower.
Tohru wasn't really surprised. Normally, Kyo would be down in the exercise room until just before 6:30, when he'd shower and then go get Katsuro up for the day. But clearly he had been waiting for her, or rather her alarm, and they exchanged an awkward look as Tohru stood in front of the bathroom door.
"So..." he said, looking over at her, his expression nervous. "You gonna-"
"-Take the test right now, yes," she said, nodding.
Kyo swallowed. "Ok. Then I'll wait here, until-"
"-Yes, that sounds good," Tohru said quickly, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door.
A few minutes later, the two of them stood together in the bathroom, waiting impatiently for the three-minute waiting period to wind down. And as they waited, Tohru kept shooting glances at Kyo, whose face was once again pale. She couldn't help but contrast this to the last time they'd been waiting for a pregnancy test; then, she'd woken up feeling fatigued, as well as been late. And most importantly, they'd been trying.
That morning, they'd both been excited, and weirdly confident. They'd both laughed over it, in fact, how confident they were. And how happy.
And now...
Tohru felt less confident, but not much. And there was very little room for excitement or happiness in her heart when Kyo looked like that.
When three minutes had passed, Tohru took a breath, then looked at Kyo. He wasn't looking at her at all, just had his eyes fixed on the test in Tohru's hand. And even though he was standing right next to her and holding her hand, she felt as though he was a hundred miles away.
Swallowing hard, she turned the test over, and they both stared at the small, bold word: Pregnant.
Kyo let go of Tohru's hand and sank down heavily to the floor, whatever color that had been left in him totally drained away as he brought his hands up to run over his face. Pregnant. Tohru was pregnant, again. Now. Right now. With another kid. With a third kid.
He didn't know what to do, or what to think. The last two times he'd been in this position, he'd been surprised, or rather, shocked, with the timing; both Hajime and Katsuro had been conceived right away after Tohru had gone off her birth control. But they'd still been trying, still had planned.
This time...
Kyo closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. He believed Tohru when she said it was an accident, that she hadn't meant to delay her implant replacement. Tohru would never do something like that to him, never try to 'trick' him into another baby if he didn't agree. But that didn't change the fact that there'd been a slip-up...and now she was pregnant.
He didn't want this. He didn't want this, not at all, and he hated himself for thinking it. Things were going so well these days; they finally had some semblance of a routine that worked for them all, with some degree of independence for the kids. Katsuro was three now, and he could actually be left to play independently...somewhat. Tohru and Kyo didn't have to have eyes on him literally every second, they could actually do their own thing while the boys were awake once in a while.
It was wonderful.
But now...that was all over. Suddenly, they were going to be plunging backwards into the land of diapers and bottles, late night feedings, inconvenient naps. They'd have to figure out how to manage Katsuro's daycare schedule, Hajime's school schedule, and Tohru and Kyo's work schedules with whatever symptoms this pregnancy decided to throw Tohru's way. And, of course, it was all happening just in time for August, the busiest and most exhausting month out of the dojo's entire year.
Kyo was so wrapped up in his own thoughts and fears and worries that it took a little while for anything else to penetrate. But all at once, he was aware of a sound: crying.
Tohru was still standing in the middle of bathroom, her face buried in her hands and sobbing her heart out. And as Kyo looked up at her, he realized what a colossal, absolutely monumental ass he was being.
Pushing himself up from the floor, he stood up and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as she continued to sob.
"Hey, Tohru, it's ok. It's ok. We're gonna figure this out." They had to; they didn't have a choice.
"I'm so sorry, Kyo, I'm so sorry," she wailed, her voice cracking. "I should have been more careful, I shouldn't have let it expire!"
"It was an accident, Tohru, it could've happened to anyone." Just a really, really badly timed one. "The doctor himself said it was probably fine, it's not your fault he was wrong." Though Kyo himself never would have gambled on those odds, considering their first two kids.
"But I knew better, Kyo! And I should have been more careful!"
Privately he agreed, and he kind of hated himself for that, too. It's not like it could change anything, not now. "Well, however it happened, it happened. And it's not like you made this baby yourself, Tohru, so don't beat yourself up. Please don't beat yourself up," he added, stepping back to look at her. "We're gonna make this work," he said, his voice a little shaky but his face resolute.
They stared at each other for a long time, then Kyo gave Tohru a small, hesitant smile. "You really feel ok, right now?"
Tohru took a breath, then nodded quietly.
"Well, that's good, at least," Kyo said, exhaling. "What're the odds you can keep that up through the next month?"
At that, she actually managed a small smile in return. "Um...I'll try my best?"
They both knew it was out of her control, but at least they could joke about it.
A little.
Exhaling, Kyo looked at the bathroom clock, then looked at Tohru. "You better get in the shower; I need to go get Katsuro up."
She nodded. Then he was gone, on his way out of the bathroom and out into the chaos of a typical weekday morning in the Sohma house. And Tohru was left alone in the bathroom, the pregnancy test lying where it had fallen at her feet.
They were going to have another baby...and Kyo wasn't happy about it.
That morning at work, Tohru quietly went in and scheduled herself an appointment for a few weeks down the road, for her best guess as to when she'd be eight weeks along. Then for the next few weeks...she simply held her breath and waited.
Tohru was shocked and a little unsettled by the absence of fatigue as the days crept along. Crushing exhaustion had been her earliest and most severe symptom in both of her previous pregnancies, actually being the indicator that she was pregnant in both cases. This time, she felt largely normal; anxious and nervous, but otherwise pretty much the same she did when she wasn't pregnant. As the days turned into a week, then a second, she found herself wondering if everything was actually...ok.
And she was sure Kyo was wondering the same, every day that he asked her how she was feeling and she answered with 'good.'
After that first morning, they didn't really talk about the pregnancy. Kyo confirmed that he'd be able to make the appointment she'd scheduled; she'd put it in the first timeslot of the morning, so Kyo would have time to be there and get back to the dojo before he needed to start work. And he was checking on her every day, asking her how she was feeling. But otherwise...
Tohru kind of hated it. She felt as though there was a wall between the two of them, a wall that had never been there before. He still talked to her, he still smiled at her...but something was missing.
Both of them were holding their breath the morning of Tohru's appointment. Tohru tried to smile in response to the curious or excited looks from her coworkers as she and Kyo headed back to the exam room, but she was all too aware that Kyo was looking incredibly solemn.
As she got situated on the exam table, Tohru tried to think calming thoughts. But it was hard, very hard; the further along she'd gone without any symptoms, the more pronounced her anxiety became. This pregnancy hadn't been planned or expected, the timing was bad...but she still wanted, so badly, for everything to be ok.
When the ultrasound tech pulled the image up on the screen, Tohru was so relieved she almost started crying. It wasn't pretty; they never were, at this stage. But there it was: a small, blobby little gummy bear-looking creature with a rapid fluttering in its middle.
A baby.
Their baby.
Alive, and well, and growing.
Tohru let out a breath, then turned to look at Kyo. One set of fears had been allayed by the ultrasound image, but the other was still very much present; it was hard to let herself be too excited, when she still didn't really know what Kyo was thinking.
He was staring up at the screen, watching the wiggling, fluttering blob. But after a little bit he noticed her looking at him, and he looked from the screen to her...and smiled. An actual, proper, not-at-all-wavering smile.
"So...I guess we're having another baby."
That time, Tohru finally allowed herself to cry.
Many weeks later, they found themselves back in the same spot, looking up at the same screen. This time, though, they could see an actual baby, with arms and legs, a face...and very well-concealed reproductive organs.
"Alright, you two, looks like this kid might finally maybe be cooperating. If we could just get a little-." The ultrasound tech broke off, making an annoyed sound as the baby up on the screen tucked back up into a ball. And Tohru and Kyo groaned themselves, watching as their last attempt to learn the baby's sex went away with the locking of that baby's legs.
"I'm so sorry," the tech apologized. "But it looks like this baby just doesn't want to share with us!"
Kyo sighed, squeezing Tohru's hand, and gave the tech what was meant to be a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about it. Our last kid pulled the same stunt, we had to wait for him to be born, too."
"Unfortunately, some babies are like that," the tech said, and Tohru shook her head.
"Please don't worry about it; the important thing is that we tried! And that everything else looks healthy, of course," she added quickly.
"Yes, that's certainly true! But you don't have to worry there; all parts are present and accounted for, in the correct numbers and correct places," the tech said, nodding.
"And this way, we get a surprise!" Tohru said brightly. Then the tech left, leaving Tohru and Kyo alone so that Tohru could put herself back together and they could vacate the room.
Kyo tried not to look too disappointed as he helped Tohru up. "Damn, what're the odds? Not just one kid doing this, but two?"
Tohru tried to smile. "I'm beginning to think we're not meant to gamble, Kyo, at least not where babies are concerned."
"No shit. The only thing that seems to be pretty average for you is how long they cook for, and please don't take that as a challenge," he said, giving Tohru a stern glance before softening. "Are you bummed?"
She sighed, then nodded. "A little bit, yes, but I think a part of me was already expecting this. I was so upset with Katsuro, but this time..." she paused, then gave Kyo a slightly embarrassed look.
He was surprised by that look, and pressed her. "What?"
"It probably sounds awful," she admitted, but he shook his head.
"Try me."
"I really want it to be a girl," she said, ducking her head, and Kyo looked at her in confusion.
"What's awful about that?"
"You're not supposed to want a boy or a girl, you're just supposed to want them to be healthy!"
Kyo thought about that for a moment. "Well, don't you want it to be healthy?"
"Of course I do!" Tohru said, looking at him almost offendedly.
"What's the problem then?" Kyo asked, handing her her purse.
"Well...I don't want to put any pressure on the baby," she admitted.
At that, Kyo had to chuckle. "It's a baby, Tohru, a baby that's still inside you. How're you gonna pressure it?"
She didn't quite know how to answer that, and she looked down at her bump. "It's just...I don't want it to feel I love it any less, if it's a boy," she said, her voice quiet. "And if we saw it today, and it was a boy...I don't know how I would have felt about that, just now," she admitted softly.
Moving closer, Kyo took her into his arms. "Hey," he said, gently tilting her face up to look at his. "You're allowed to want certain things, and to feel certain ways about them. No one could ever look at you and think you don't love your kids, all your kids, massively and equally. Boys, girls, doesn't matter, and it's never gonna matter, either. So you can hope it's a girl, but whatever it comes out, we know we're gonna love it the same either way. Right?"
Tohru sighed, but then did her best to smile. She still felt guilty, but it was hard not to feel encouraged when he spoke to her like that. "Right," she said softly, looking up at him. He'd always been able to do that, she thought; convince her that something was obvious, just by saying it with confidence.
"Mom?"
"What is it, Hajime," Tohru asked, looking over at him with a smile as they stood in Hajime's room, packing his suitcase.
"How come I have to stay with the Tanakas while you an' Dad go to get the baby out, really? I wouldn't get in the way," he said, looking at her seriously.
Tohru had to stifle the desire to laugh. He was so sweet, her eldest; ever since they'd told the boys about the baby, both of them had been filled with questions, questions that sometimes neither Tohru nor Kyo had actually wanted to answer. Seven-year-old Hajime, in particular, was especially good at asking things that made both his parents blush, and while they had done their best to answer in suitably age-appropriate ways, he had still wanted to know more. He considered himself very grown up and mature, and it had seemed logical to him that, as the baby's big brother, he would get to go along with his parents to help see the baby born.
Tohru had done her best, but it was hard to rationalize away the deeply held opinions of a child.
"I know you'd try not to, Hajime, but there really isn't a lot of room for extra people when babies are being born. Only grown-ups are allowed to be there, I'm afraid," she said, reaching out and smoothing his hair.
"Well, it seems dumb," Hajime grumbled. "I'd take up a lot less space than any ol' grownup."
That time, she actually allowed herself to laugh. "Yes, that's definitely true! But those are the rules of the hospital, and we have to follow them," she said, smiling at him.
He sighed, stuffing some socks into the side of the suitcase, then looked up her. "Are you guys gonna be gone long?" He asked, trying and failing not to look too worried.
Then it was Tohru's turn to sigh. "Well, the baby and I will have to stay in the hospital for a few days, at least, and Dad will probably stay with us for most of it." Hajime's lip was starting to wobble, and she hugged him close. "But Dad is going to check on you two, and you will also get to visit in the hospital! So you'll be able to see me, and meet your new brother or sister very soon," she added with a smile.
Hajime buried his face in the top of Tohru's bump and said something she couldn't understand. "What was that, Hajime?"
He lifted his face and looked up to her, his lip stll wobbling. "Is it gonna hurt you, Mom? When the baby comes out? Is that why you haveta stay in the hospital for so long, after the baby's born?"
Tohru was quiet for a minute, looking down at Hajime's big worried eyes. It had been easier when Katsuro was born, she reflected; then, Hajime had been even younger than Katsuro was now; he hadn't had all these questions, questions that she hesitated to answer because she wasn't sure she wanted him to know. But at the same time, she had to say something, now.
"Yes, it will hurt a bit," she admitted, hugging him close. "But that's why I'm going to be at the hospital, so it doesn't hurt for longer than it has to. And your Dad is going to be with me, too, and you know how much holding Dad's hand helps me feel better!"
Hajime did, and he nodded, but at the same time he mumbled "I could hold your hand, too."
"You could, Hajime, and you always make me feel better, too. But this time, I have to manage with just Dad, so why don't you give me a big hug now to help me get through it, ok?"
Hajime promptly have her a big bear hug, and Tohru laughed at the strength of his squeeze. "My goodness, what a big hug!"
"It hasta last a long time, so it needs to be big," Hajime said, still holding her tightly.
"Well, I think it's going to last a long time," Tohru said, smiling at him. "But now," she said, closing his suitcase and handing it to him, "I think you're all set. Should we go check on Dad and Katsuro?"
Hajime nodded, and the two of them walked down the hall to Katsuro's room. The door was open, and as they peeked in they saw Katsuro sitting cross-legged on the floor, his arms crossed over his chest and a deep scowl on his face while Kyo stepped around him, putting the last things in Katsuro's suitcase.
"My goodness, that's a big frown," Tohru commented, looking at Katsuro. "What's wrong?"
Katsuro looked up at his mother and brother without uncrossing his arms or changing his expression. "I don' wanna stay wit' Ryoichi and Keiko! I wanna go wit' you!"
Hajime rolled his eyes at his little brother. "You're too young to go to the hospital, dummy."
"Hajime," Kyo said, glancing over his shoulder in the tight voice he used when he was attempting to keep himself calm, "be nice to your brother."
"Fine," Hajime said, grumbling.
Tohru had walked over to Katsuro and smiled down at him. She couldn't get down on the floor with him, not if she actually wanted to get up again, so instead she reached out her hand to him. "Why don't you come sit with me on the bed, Katsuro?"
Katsuro eyed her hand for a moment, then stood up and took it, still pouting. And Tohru walked him over to the bed, sitting down and pulling him up next to her. "I know you want to come with me, Katsuro. I wish I could bring you with me, too, you and Hajime both," she said, looking over at Hajime as he slouched against the wall. "But I can't. Even though we all really want to, we can't."
"But I wanna," Katsuro told her, his eyes filled with tears. "I really, really wanna, Mommy. Why can't I go, an' Hajime, too?"
"'Cause those are the rules," Hajime said moodily, and Tohru nodded.
"That's right. Only grownups can be there when babies are born," she said, stroking Katsuro's head. "So Daddy is going to be with me, and the nurses, and the doctor! But I'll be missing my boys, every minute," she said softly.
Katsuro was still pouting. "Da baby'll be dere," he said sulkily. "Babies aren't grown-ups."
"That's 'cause the baby is being born, du-" Hajime broke off at a glare from Dad, promptly correcting himself "-Katsuro. Right, Mom?"
"That's right," Tohru said. "Babies who are being born get to be there, and otherwise just grownups. So you two," she said, hugging Katsuro and looking at Hajime, "Are going to stay and have fun with Keiko and Ryoichi at the Tanakas'. Then after the baby is born, Dad is going to come get you, and you'll get to come and see me, and meet the baby, in the hospital! And as soon as the hospital lets me go, we'll all go home together!"
Katsuro was looking at her anxiously. "Will da hospital try to keep you, Mommy?"
"Not for too long, Katsuro," Tohru said with a smile. "Just long enough for me to feel better, after the baby is born. But Daddy will be there to help take care of me, and the doctors, and nurses-"
"-Can I stay in the hospital after the baby's out to help you too, Mom?" Hajime asked suddenly, and Katsuro perked up, too.
"An' me, Mommy? I'm a big helper, too!"
Hajime gave Katsuro an annoyed look, but Tohru cut in before he could say anything. "How sweet of you both to offer! I know you both can be such big helpers," she said, hugging Katsuro. "But there's only room for Dad to stay, unfortunately. And we kind of need him to drive the car," she said, giving her sons a mock-rueful look.
Beside her, Kyo had zipped up Katsuro's bag and was waiting for them to finish, doing his best to remain calm. It was astonishing just how calm Tohru was, all things considered, but he long since accepted that she was better under pressure than he was. "Speaking of driving the car," he said, looking from Tohru to Katsuro than Hajime, "I think it's about time for two boys to say goodbye to Mom and for us to go."
At that, Katsuro's lip trembled, and he promptly latched onto Tohru, hugging her tightly. "I don' wanna go, Mommy, I wanna go wit' you!"
Hajime had flown across the room and was hugging her tightly as well. "I don't wanna go, either! I wanna go with you an' help! I can hold your hand, too, just as good as Dad!"
Tohru's eyes were teary as she hugged both boys. "I know, both of you. But I need you both to go with Dad, and be good for the Tanakas. Just think, you probably get to have fresh melon bread! Maybe you can even bring me some, when you come to the hospital," she said, looking at them both. "You know how much I love melon bread!"
Hajime looked up with a sniffle. "Would that make you happy, Mom?"
"Very happy," she said, wiping away his tears. "Very, very happy."
Hajime drew a shaky breath, then nodded. Then he tugged on his brother. "Come on, Katsuro, we gotta go," he said, his voice gruff.
Katsuro was still clinging to Tohru, and Kyo finally stepped in to detach him. That only cause Katsuro's crying to amp up to screaming, and Kyo gave Tohru an apologetic look.
"I'll be back very soon, ok?" He told her, speaking quietly through the piercing shrieks of "I DON' WANNA GO! I WANNA STAY WIT' MOMMY!"
Tohru nodded. "I'll be fine, it feels like it'll still be a very long time yet." Looking from Kyo to the shrieking child, she said loudly, "I love you, Katsuro! And I love you, Hajime," she called after her oldest.
As Kyo carried Katsuro out of the room and down the stairs, the shrieks faded slightly away. And soon, they disappeared entirely as Kyo and the boys left the house. As she sat alone in silence, Tohru took a deep breath, feeling once again the familiar tightening as another contraction began. And she looked down at her belly, whispering quietly, "Ready when you are."
"Ok, Sohma, good job. Let's try for another big push like that and maybe this next time will be it, ok?"
Tohru gave Dr. Watanabe a teary nod, gripping the hospital bed railing tightly with one hand and Kyo's hand in a vice-like squeeze with the other. And although Kyo felt slightly like his bones were being crushed, you'd never be able to tell from the look on his face as he focused on Tohru.
"You got this, Tohru," he said, his voice low and encouraging. "I'm right here with you, hold my hand as tight as you need to."
Tohru was breathing hard, and she looked up at Kyo with pain-filled eyes. "I don't know if I can do this, Kyo. I forgot what it was like, and it just hurts so badly and I don't want to do this anymore, Kyo, I don't!" she said, the words all tumbling out rapidly in one long sentence. All she could feel right now was pain, pain and pressure and the immense desire to just turn everything off and go sleep for a while.
Why had she thought doing this again was a good idea?
But Kyo was right there, to soothe her. Much as he wished he could actually do something else, right now his options were severely limited, other than to hold her hand and do what he could to try to encourage her.
"I know it's gotta hurt, Tohru, and I'm so sorry, but you're doing such a-" Kyo broke off as Tohru's face contorted once more from the pain of another contraction, and he leaned forward as her hand once more started to crush his. "You've got this, Tohru, you've got this."
Tohru was pouring everything she had into pushing, trying not to think of the pain beyond how much she wanted this to be over. She could do this, if she did her best; she could do this, and she never had to do it ever again.
She could do this, she could do this, she could do this...
She almost gasped with relief when she felt the pain and pressure burst away, and she let out a hiccupping, teary laugh in the split second she felt comparatively pain-free. Kyo was beaming at her, tears in his eyes as well, and he squeezed her hand hard as she looked up at him, relief radiating off of her. Then the two of them turned to watch as Dr. Watanabe briskly rubbed down their wriggling newborn and the baby started to cry.
"There we go, listen to those lungs," one of the nurses said with a smile as they quickly checked the baby over, and Tohru and Kyo laughed, albeit a little weakly. Then Dr. Watanabe carefully walked over to Tohru, the baby in her arms.
"You have a healthy little daughter, you two," she said, smiling, as she leaned down and gently laid the baby on Tohru's chest. "Congratulations to you both."
Tohru's eyes were wide and amazed, shining with wonder even through her tears as she looked down at the baby in her arms. A daughter...a little girl.
They had a little girl.
As Tohru held the baby against her, Kyo's hand came up to cover hers, and she looked up at him to see tears actually running down his face. They had to look like quite the set, Tohru thought for a moment, but she didn't care. Tears were a sign of feeling, and right now, both of them had to be feeling a lot.
"We did it, Kyo," she said, her voice soft and shaky with emotion, and Kyo nodded, audibly swallowing as he looked from her to their newborn.
"We did it, Tohru."
Tohru had seen Kyo hold a newborn before; she'd even seen him hold one for the first time once, after Katsuro was born. And she remembered that look well; wonder and amazement and love, all directed down at the tiny infant in his arms.
She hadn't remembered their being any fear.
But when Kyo was asked this time if he was ready to hold the baby, that was the thing that immediately leapt out at Tohru. Tired as she was, worn out as she was, she knew Kyo and his moods and his expressions almost as well as she knew her own, and the flash in his eyes as he looked down at the baby was, for one brief moment, fear.
Tohru didn't understand, not at first. The baby was small, but not really any smaller than Katsuro had been. She was just as strong, just as healthy; there was literally nothing about her to justify any paranoia, especially not for a person who'd already gone through this twice before.
But as Kyo looked hesitantly as their daughter, swallowing hard, Tohru saw his right hand reflexively reach out and rub the back of his left wrist. Suddenly, in that moment, Tohru understood.
Still holding the baby snuggly against her, Tohru reached out, taking Kyo's left hand in hers and squeezing it tightly. His left hand, the hand that for so many years had worn his beads, carrying and flaunting the sign of his particularly Cursed state. The wrist that he'd always rubbed, without even knowing he was doing it, whenever he was thinking about the Curse, his past, or anything remotely connected to those dark times.
The hand that now, for almost ten years, had worn instead a golden wedding band.
"Kyo," she said softly, and he jerked his gaze from the baby to her, guilt washing over his face as he met Tohru's eyes. "It's ok. It's ok if you're not ready," she said, then tightened her grip. "But it's also just ok, really ok. You can hold her," she said, smiling at him, "and nothing bad is going to happen."
Kyo blinked, then let out a choked laugh. "That obvious, huh?"
Tohru gave him a smile. "I think I know you pretty well."
"Yeah...you probably do, at that." Kyo said, his voice incredibly quiet. Then he took a breath and reached out trembling hands, stopping to clench them slightly as they stopped, just above the baby. He glanced at Tohru, and she gave him another reassuring smile.
"It's ok, Kyo," she repeated softly. "It's all going to be ok."
Kyo nodded, and took another breath. Then he gently gathered up the sleeping baby into his hands, cradling her in his hands before setting his jaw and slowly, carefully drawing her back to shift her into his arms...and hold her close.
Suddenly the baby herself was lost to him. He couldn't see her anymore, or anything else either; he was too blinded by tears to do anything more than to listen, and to feel. Listen to the soft 'wehs' as his daughter got used to being held by a new person; feel the soft, gentle wiggles as she snuggled into his arms.
His very human arms.
Human arms that could, and were, holding his daughter. Their daughter, his and Tohru's. His little girl, who he could hold, and would continue to be able to hold, always and forever.
Tohru's hand was resting on his arm, and he could hear her sniffling, too. He wasn't surprised; she had always been a crier. And right now, in this moment, she was definitely not alone.
Carefully holding his daughter in one arm, Kyo reached up to wipe his eyes so he could at her once more. She was fast asleep; being born was clearly exhausting work. But her little scrunched up red baby face still looked peaceful; she might have been through a lot, but she seemed pretty content. Blissful, even.
How very appropriate for her, their little child of bliss.
Gently, Kyo reached down to stroke the little wisps of brown hair that decorated her scalp. She turned her head slightly towards his hand, and he smiled, tears starting to well up once again.
It had been hard, getting to this point. He'd been scared, and angry, and unsure. He hadn't wanted this; he'd been too afraid of losing what they had, too afraid that adding another child would be too much for all of them.
He should have known better. Nothing was too much for Tohru and him, not when they had each other to lean on.
"Hey there, Sachiko," Kyo said, his voice soft. "I'm your Daddy."
~A picture of a hospital bed, looking increasingly crowded. Tohru is looking up, smiling, with a sleeping Sachiko in her arms, while Kyo's head angles in against hers as he sits beside her. Between them, Katsuro leans out over the baby, sticking his tongue out at Hajime, who was perching on Tohru's other side and making a face back at Katsuro.~
'We welcomed Sachiko Sohma at 5:52pm on Sunday, March 11th. 19.5 inches, 8 pounds 2 ounces. Tohru and Sachiko are both great, and as you can see the boys can't contain their excitement at having a new baby sister. Pray for us all!'
Author's Note: Enter the daughter, aka Sachiko, 'child of bliss!'
I wanted to do a proper introduction for all three kids, but since I've already done a full-length pregnancy story with Hajime and a still reasonably pregnancy-focused full length story with Katsuro, Sachiko gets the truncated version. It's probable bits and pieces from while Tohru is expecting Sachiko will end up in the shorts collection, because there are things I'd like to touch on further, but I didn't want to cover too much repeat ground.
