Author's Notes: I was kinda hoping for more reviews than I got, given the over 180 hits, but a big thanks to those who did review! I really like this fic but I've been summer-lazy lately so I haven't been writing much. I'll try, though.
Oh, yea...Opacho...I always thought Opacho was a boy but I just recently heard someone say he was a girl. Personally, I don't think it matters one way or the other but I'll be calling him a boy and if you can prove me wrong, please do so I'll know for next time.
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Making It Work : 2
It was not, I had told myself, and Opacho when he'd seemed to think it was, that I was having second thoughts in visiting my brother. The reason that I hadn't visited him by day six, was that at some point during day four, Horohoro, that freeloading Ainu from the north had unexpectedly, unceremoniously, and unannounced, parked his freeloading butt at Yoh's inn; in the room directly across the hall from Yoh nonetheless. And Anna was back. I dislike Anna.
But by now, thoughts of my brother were haunting not only my dreams but my waking hours as well. And frankly, I could not stand Opacho's snickering at me when I awoke in the morning to discover that I'd called … or maybe moaned… out his name in my sleep, at a time when, of course, I had no control over my thoughts. Admitting that I have no control over something pains me greatly. One would think that with power like mine, one could, at the very least, control their dreams.
So it is with great precaution, that I am now sitting in Yoh's open window on the sixth night, silent as the grave but betrayed by the revealing moon at my back. I have been here for some time now. I have discovered that I like watching Yoh sleep. His peaceful expression puts me at ease and it is not something that I relish the thought of disturbing. I find I am content and after an agonizing six days of nothing to think of but Yoh, my thoughts are blank. Yoh does not talk in his sleep. He doesn't move much. His expression is peacefully blank.
I allow my foot to fall gently down to the hardwood floor, the weight of my body and second foot following fluidly. Yoh does not stir so I take a seat at his side. I cross my feet and watch him from here as he sleeps. I think of reaching out to comb my fingers through his hair or pulling the thin blanket of his higher over his chest to guard him from the slight breeze I have let into the room, but I do not move. I do not touch him because I honestly don't know just how badly I want to touch him. And I feel that is something I should know before I reach out for him.
In spite of myself, I release my chi a little. I want him to wake up. Slowly I unmask my presence, just enough to alert him, but not enough to alert the freeloader or the shrew. Yoh would be cross if I looked at them in the way I look at food for my spirit.
"Hao."
I look down from the door to find Yoh looking up at me with tired eyes. He lays there for a moment. I sit where I am, looking down at him. It occurs to me a moment later, as he's dragging himself to a sitting position on his futon, that I might have used that now lost moment to lean down to kiss him. That would have been better, if I'd thought of it in time.
"What are you doing here?" Yoh whispers, in that tone that says he isn't sure he really wants to know.
I recover quickly enough, though. "What? I'm not allowed to visit my beloved brother?"
Yoh sighs, as though he's resigned himself to dealing with my exasperating ways for the night. Then he smiled to himself and looked down at the blanket in his lap. I was curious to know what he was thinking but Yoh isn't the type to leave you wondering. "I read a book once," I felt an eyebrow rise at this. Small talk, now? "it had a word in it for people like you." he went on and I might have thought he was insulting me but he didn't quite seem upset enough to start swearing at me, even inventively, so I kept silent to hear what he had to say. "You're a slitherer-outer." he said, and began to laugh to himself over it.
"Excuse me?"
Yoh covered his mouth with one hand to muffle the giggles as I stared at him like he was crazy. "Every time I ask you something you just slither out of it." he explained. "You're a slitherer-outer."
"I am not a "slither-er-outer."" I informed him indignantly. "You just made that up."
"You are." he returned, the laughter subsiding.
I huffed at that, sounding all too childish for my taste. "I thought you didn't like my speeches." I said in my defense.
"You have to make a speech out of why you're in my room in the middle of the night?" Yoh replied and I could see that it was going to be one of those nights. As I recall, I had been the one in charge of our last encounter but now it seemed that Yoh had turned the tables on me, or at the very least, had caught on to me.
"I enjoy watching you sleep." I said in all honesty.
Yoh blushed slightly and for a moment I foolishly thought that I had regained the upper hand. But no, Yoh had had six days to prepare for this and apparently, six days was a few too many. I always had underestimated my brother.
"That's suspiciously sentimental." Yoh said, the statement lacking a certain emotional quality that might have made it sound less accusatory were it present. "Well in that case, I suppose I'll just go back to sleep then. Far be it from me to deny my "beloved brother" his small pleasures." And Yoh made a small show of laying back down, his back to me, and pulling the blanket up to his shoulders with a firm tug while I watched in shock.
My mouth fell open. My mind stuttered for a response. That little brat. Fine, damnit. I could be direct. I leaned over him, looking down at him for a moment. Yoh turned to look back at me and my hair fell into a curtain around us. And I kissed my brother for the second time. He didn't resist, but like last time, nor did he participate. I demanded entrance and received it from an uncertain mouth. I got carried away a little, pressed a little hard, and he whimpered a little for air. I pulled away and repositioned myself so that I was straddling him and looking down at him as he looked away to catch his breath.
"Is that what you wanted, otouto?" I asked sardonically.
Yoh whipped his gaze back to mine with blazing eyes. "I wanted you to answer me!" he answered, speaking harshly, and I could tell that had he not caught himself, it would have been a shout. "Why is that so hard for you? I want to know why you're suddenly so interested in me. I don't trust you." he spat and I couldn't blame him in the slightest really, sitting on top of him in the middle of the night.
"I desire you." I whispered in the darkness. "These things are as beyond me as they are you, otouto. I wish your affection, your smile, your gentle touch, the taste of you…" I leaned down for more of that taste but Yoh moved his head so I settled for his neck instead, threading my fingers into his hair in what I hoped was an affectionate manor. "I don't know why." I mumbled against his warm, moist skin. "It's all your fault, for being kind and strong and gentle and cocky. We are two halves of the same whole. Is this not the natural course of us? Is there nothing of me you desire? I would protect you, even your friends, I would hold you, I would appreciate you. I would learn…" Hesitantly, Yoh's fingers found my hair, sinking into its long strands slowly and then taking fistfuls of it harshly as he moved his mouth to find mine and allow me to kiss him as he kissed back.
I felt whole for the first time in my existence, truly complete and at peace. My reasoning for cleansing the world, for absorbing Yoh into myself; it was for this feeling. I had thought if I could purify the world or if I could purify myself by becoming whole, then maybe I could feel this way but instead I found it in my brother's kiss. It was such a simple solution that I wanted to laugh right there but now that I'd found it, I knew I could never let it go. Not now. As Yoh pulled away, crimson staining his cheeks scarlet, I finally realized, feeling like the idiot he must have always known that I was, that the feeling I had been searching so desperately, so violently for, was…happiness. I pulled the cream colored wrap from my shoulders and Yoh gave me a startled look but I paid it no heed as I tossed it aside and looked down into his depthless brown eyes.
"Let me stay." I said, seeking permission from him for it.
It was the single stupidest thing I had ever done and I was unsure of it even then, but I was determined. Yoh opened his mouth to say something but closed it again silently and nodded. I moved to the side, lying beside him, and gathered Yoh into my arms. He huddled there uncertainly, unsure of what to do.
"I'm sorry." I whispered into the night. "I'm sorry I ever left you. I'm sorry that circumstances are as they are." Yoh said nothing, just huddled in on himself in my embrace. But he was in my embrace. "I will be your brother from now on." I could feel Yoh smile.
"Your sense of relationships is a little skewed." he said through his smile and, unbidden, a smile tugged at my own lips.
I let time pass, let the smiles fade, before I spoke again. "Are you happy?" I asked, knowing that it must have sounded like an afterthought. "Can I make you happy?"
Yoh settled a hand against my chest, splayed it experimentally over the warm pulse beneath. "Let's start with breakfast. And if you manage not to slither out of that…we'll see."
I smiled. 'We'll see'. That was just like Yoh. "Breakfast with Lady Anna the Asakura-wannabe and the freeloader," I mused "that should be interesting to say the least. Now don't go thinking you can domesticate me, otouto, just because I refrain from killing at the breakfast table."
Yoh smiled to himself again. "We'll see." he repeated, meaning my ability to restrain myself and I couldn't help but grin in return as I embraced him. This "slitherer-outer" thing works both ways, I think.
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Post whatevers: The book Yoh mentioned, if you haven't read it, is Howl's Moving Castle, which was an amazing book and not much like the movie. If you liked the movie, read the book, and if you didn't like the movie (you wierd alien-person) ... read the book, you might like that better.
So Hao's agreed to breakfast with Anna, can anyone say "catastrophe"?
