Trigger Warning: This references Lewis, Please don't read if that storyline is upsetting to you.

Prompt #49: An EO story where Elliot has to come home for Olivia because of Lewis. She literally won't talk to anybody else.


Things Got Better

~oOo~

May 2014

Elliot slowly opened his eyes, lifting his head and running his hand along the back of his neck which had kinked from his position on the couch. He squinted toward the cable box in his entertainment center. 9:37pm — he must have fallen asleep after getting home. He quickly realized it was his phone going off that had woken him when it dinged with a voicemail alert. He reached over to the coffee table and grabbed it. Squinting his eyes at his phone as they adjusted to the brightness he read his notifications.

Missed Call: Unknown Number

Voicemail: Unknown Number

Sighing as he leaned his head back on the couch, he swiped the voicemail notification and clicked play bringing the phone to his ear.

"Elliot, listen man it's Fin—" He sat straight up again, his heart rate speeding up as the thoughts of what he could need ran through his head. He hadn't heard from anyone from SVU since he'd left three years ago. Recently he'd been thinking about them a lot. His divorce with Kathy had been finalized last year; long after it probably should have been over, but still early enough that they remained civil and continued to respectfully co-parent. Kathy had started dating someone six months ago, and had continually encouraged Elliot to try dating again too; she had even told him she understood and that it was okay to reach out to her. The 'her' in her blessing, not needing any further explanation. But he insisted that it had been far too long, she must have been long moved on and with someone who treated her like he always should have.

So instead Elliot had made a dating profile, which resulted in three failed dates before he gave up, because no matter how hard he tried, nice as they were — none of them would ever be her. So yes, they had been on his mind more lately, Olivia especially. He came out of his daydream realizing that he'd missed the entire message after hearing who it was. So he looked at his phone, hitting the little speaker, and then the play button again, placing the phone down next to him on the couch as he brought his elbows to rest on his knees, and rested his head in his hands.

"Elliot, listen man it's Fin. Liv is okay, she um physically she's okay. Look, I'm not sure if you've seen the news over the last few months but she needs help. She won't talk to anyone. I think she'd talk to you… I can't talk to you about what went on, it's not my story to tell. But if you ever gave a damn about your partner, try to call her. Okay, um listen my number is 212-754-1291 if you want to give me a call back."

Elliot quickly dialed the number and listened to three rings before Fin's voice came over the other line.

"Hello." Elliot sat up straight again, taking a deep breath before speaking.

"Fin, is she okay?"

"She is. She's been through some things the last few months and she really shouldn't be keeping it bottled up but she is, I think she'd talk to you man."

"Fin… It's been three years—" Elliot stood up, and walked over to the window, looking out to the desolate street. "I'm not so sure she'd talk to me about what she had for lunch, let alone anything else."

Fin shook his head, he would never understand their relationship, but he was willing to bet his life on the fact that Elliot could just knock on Olivia's door and she'd let him right in. Let him in her apartment, her life, her heart.

"You're right Elliot, it has been three years but I can bet that girl misses her best friend just as much as she did the day he left."

"Fin— listen—" Elliot tried to talk, but choked on his words.

"Listen, I don't need any type of explanation. I know you had your reasons. Just call her."

"Do you—" Elliot started but stopped, fearful of what his answer would be. "Do you think if I came over there she'd see me?"

Fin laughed. "I could almost guarantee it. Look the past has happened, you can man up and fix it or you can continue to run from it and lose her entirely."

"I'm on Long Island right now, but I could be there tomorrow morning." Elliot walked back over to his couch and took a seat on the arm.

"Good, about time you got your crap together Stabler." Elliot chuckled, taking a deep breath before asking the question that had been on his mind since the start of their conversation.

"Fin… Was she… Liv, was she ra—" Elliot stopped, too afraid to put it out there, too angry at himself for not having been there to protect her.

"No. Elliot, no. Okay? Listen, I'm surprised you haven't seen anything yourself. It was all over the news."

Elliot shook his head, "I was living in Rome, Kathy and I. We only moved back about a month ago. It took some time to get everything transferred over and situated after the divorce."

"Divorce?" Elliot could hear the slight change of tone Fin had.

"Yeah, it was time. But you have to know, Fin, if I had seen anything I would have been there in a second."

"I figured there was more to the story. Listen, Elliot, just show up okay. If she seems a little resistant at first, don't give up; try to remember how you left, despite your reasons you still left; just don't give up on her."

"I won't." Elliot nodded, even though Fin couldn't see him on the other end of the phone.

"Alright, I'm going to go. She's in a new apartment, so make sure to call her first okay?"

"Oh… Yeah, okay. Thank you again, Fin."

"Goodnight, Stabler."

"Night."

Elliot didn't sleep that night. He hadn't really expected to though. He had too many thoughts running through his head. What would she say to him? Would she even allow him to see her? Was he going to be hung up on? Most importantly, what exactly had she been through? He wanted to google it, Fin said it was all over the news, so he'd likely be able to find out through a simple google search. But he wanted to respect her. Wanted to give her the chance to tell him, or not tell him. He didn't want to know something she didn't want him to know. He could only imagine the amount of people she had to tell her story to over and over again, and if she didn't want to talk to him about it or want him to know he would respect it. Even if it meant he never knew.

Eight o'clock couldn't come quick enough, he still felt it was too early to call. So he got up and hopped in the shower. He showered quickly, toweling off and getting dressed. He brushed his teeth and went to the kitchen. He debated grabbing something from his cabinet for a quick breakfast but instead decided to forego it. Knowing his nerves wouldn't allow him to eat. He looked at the clock when he was done with everything, seeing that it was now nine, he grabbed his car keys and headed for the door.

It took him an hour to drive from his new place to the city, and he still hadn't called her. Where he was once wishing the time would go by faster, he was now wishing there was a way to slow things down. He knew he couldn't keep avoiding the inevitable, whatever was going to happen, wouldn't change because he stalled. Elliot pulled his car to the side of the road, taking out his phone and dialing the familiar number he had dialed at least once a day for twelve years.

It only rang once before she picked up, with a soft hello. Elliot nearly lost his cool, his throat quickly becoming dry. She sounded just as beautiful as she had always been. When he didn't answer right away,

another "Hello" came from the other end of the line, this time there was fear behind it. He didn't wanna scare her so he quickly answered.

"Liv." She knew. He could tell from her gasp that she knew immediately who it was.

"Elliot?" He closed his eyes letting out a breath and closing his eyes tight to avoid tears from spilling over.

"Yeah, it's me." A million thoughts were racing through Olivia's mind. This had to be a dream. There was no way he was really calling her. It had been three years, and since her run-ins with Lewis, she'd been thinking about him a lot. That's all this was. A hallucination.

"Liv, are you there?" Elliot questioned, the silencing causing him a fear that she'd hung up.

"Elliot, where are you?"

"I'm in the city, um more specifically my car. Listen, Liv, I— can I come see you?" He waited, for the click, the 'go to hell' or 'how dare you' but it never came.

"I'm not at my old place anymore, I'll drop you a pin." She had barely finished when he heard his phone ding with a location. He brought his phone down to type the address into his GPS.

"Liv, I'm about ten minutes out… could I come now? If you're busy right now it's okay." She turned toward the clock, reading the time. This was really it. They hadn't seen each other or spoken since he left and now he would be sitting in her living room in about a half-hour.

"I'll see you soon Elliot." Then a click. He had his answer. He placed his phone in the cup holder and began his drive toward Olivia's apartment. When his GPS told him his location was on the right, he pulled his car alongside the curb. He walked into the lobby, heading straight for the elevator. He pushed her floor number and as the doors shut, he leaned against the back wall, letting out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. This was really it, three years and he was going to see her again. He could feel the tremble of his hands just thinking about it. The elevator dinged signaling he was on her floor, he slowly stepped out of the elevator, and read the plaque on the wall in front of him, arrows directing the way of numbered apartments, finding hers he made a left and headed down the hall.

When he came to her apartment, he stopped, staring at the 'O. Benson' that was written under the peephole. Elliot could feel his heartbeat pick up, his breathing was becoming more rapid and his palms were sweating. He raised his hand up, giving a couple light taps on the door, and it's as if she knew he was outside, because, almost instantly the door opened —and there she was. Her hair was shorter than when he'd last seen her, shoulder-length, her eyes were puffy and rimmed red, making it clear she'd been crying, but god she was just as beautiful as he remembered, even more, if that were possible. Their eyes met, Elliot could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest and it was almost as if neither could believe this was real.

Elliot was the first to speak, gesturing his head toward her door. "Can I come in?"

Olivia nodded, stepping aside while she shook herself out of the daydream she'd fallen into. "Yeah, um did you want a drink or something?"

Elliot nodded, "Water would be good." Olivia nodded, turning toward the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. She handed it to him, then turned back to the counter. Reaching for a wine glass and pouring herself a healthy-sized glass, before turning back to him. It was only then that Elliot noticed the number of empty wine bottles that lined her counter — there had to have been at least half a dozen — and he worried as to how long it had taken her to build that up, but he knew he didn't have any right to ask that.

Olivia shrugged, giving him a small smile. "So what brings you here?"

Tilting his head to the side, he looked at her, his eyes soft. "Liv— I um, I talked to Fin and—"

Olivia backed up, looking betrayed; of course, he was only here because Fin asked him to be, she should have known. "Is that what this is about? Well, you and Fin can go to hell. Please leave." Olivia turned to her counter grabbing the bottle of wine she'd opened, and with that and her already poured glass in hand, she headed down the hall to her bedroom.

Elliot tried to protest. "Liv, that's not what this is about. I swear he called me, but I was already trying to work up the nerve to call you, I—"

"Elliot, do me a favor." He stopped talking, hoping he'd gotten her attention. Maybe she would hear him out.

"What is it, Liv? Tell me." He stared at her, but she never turned to look at him.

"Whatever it was that made you leave last time? Do it again, this time don't come back." With that, she took the last few steps to her bedroom and slammed the door.

Elliot stood there, getting his breathing under control as he debated leaving. He didn't want to go against what she'd asked him, he was fearful of making things worse, but he kept remembering what Fin had said.

Just don't give up on her.

Elliot took a deep breath before he walked around to her armchair and took a seat. He knew he'd likely be screamed at when she came out of the room again, but he wasn't giving up on her. He was keeping his word.

~oOo~

It was about two hours later, and Elliot still stayed seated in the armchair. He was on his last life in Candy Crush and was running out of things to help pass the time. It had been silent in Olivia's room so he'd figured she'd fallen asleep. He looked toward her bedroom door, before sighing and staring back down at his phone.

~oOo~

Olivia tossed and turned in her sleep, this had become a regular pattern for her. The nightmares had gotten better, but since her second run-in with Lewis, they'd crept back up to a regular occasion again.

She was tied to the iron bed, as he taunted her with the memory of Elliot.

"You'll scream his name out eventually, they always do."

Outside, Elliot could hear a frantic Olivia calling for help from her bedroom, he rushed up and made his way down the hall. Stopping just outside of it, and tapping lightly. As he did, the already cracked door opened even wider. He could see Olivia in bed, she was sleeping but she was definitely calling for help. She was having a nightmare, and Elliot could only guess it had to do with whatever it was that she'd been through. Deciding he should wake her, he slowly crept into her room. Making sure to keep his distance, in fear of scaring her more he gently called her name.

"Liv, hey, Liv."

"No— I—" Olivia's head turned back and forth her breathing was becoming erratic and she was sweating.

Taking another step closer. "Olivia, you're okay—"

Olivia could hear him. Elliot really had come to save her. She looked past Lewis, expecting to see Elliot, but she didn't see anyone. Frantically she searched for where his voice was coming from.

"Elliot, where are you?" He stopped short, coming to the realization, her nightmare about him. "Elliot get him off of me, he's hurting me please; why aren't you doing anything?"

"Olivia, you're having a nightmare. I need you to open your eyes for me." He tried again.

Thinking about someone you're never gonna see again? Mom? Dad? Boyfriend?

"Elliot please help me, why won't you help me?" Olivia was becoming more frantic as her nightmare went on, and Elliot just wanted to free her from it but knew if he tried to shake her awake he could make it worse. The more she called for him, questioning why he wasn't helping her the more he felt sick. He had let her down, and he would never forgive himself for it.

Lewis, circled her body — cutting the tape that held her legs together, as the taunting continued.

"No huh? Someone else… someone who you would give anything to see just one more time. Well just try to put him out of your mind okay? Cause you don't make it out of here alive."

Lewis pointed the gun at her, grabbing her cheeks as he forced the gun into her mouth.

"Oliva! Please wake up, you're having a nightmare. None of it's real."

Lewis looked at her, pulling the trigger — a loud bang echoing in her dream.

Olivia shot up in bed, frantically breathing. Her shirt was drenched in sweat, as she looked up at Elliot who'd clearly heard what was going on. Olivia looked down at her lap, letting out a sob before speaking, "You weren't there Elliot. You weren't there to make me blink my lights, and no one ever thought to do it."

Elliot slowly inched his way toward her. "I know Liv, and I'm so sorry, I will never forgive myself. But— I'm here now, not because I was called but because I want to be. Please, just change into something that's not drenched in sweat and come out and talk to me. It can be about anything you want."

Olivia, bit her lip, looking up to him before giving a slight defeated nod and letting out a sigh.

~oOo~

It wasn't more than twenty minutes before Elliot heard her bedroom door open, and watched as Olivia emerged in sweats and an NYPD t-shirt, her hair stringy and wet from her shower. She came around the island and took a seat. Noticing he'd cleaned her kitchen, the alcohol bottles were no longer in sight, and her dishes, though only a few sat in her sink, they had all been washed, dried, and put away.

"You didn't have to clean, thank you." She smiled at him, before looking back down.

"Ah, just something to pass the time." He shrugged. Elliot took a deep breath before delicately approaching the subject. "There uh, was a— quite a few empty wine bottles. They all recent?"

Olivia looked up at him, hurt evident in her eyes. "Elliot, I'm not an alcoholic."

"I didn't say you were. I just— I'm worried." He looked down, feeling shame. "I know I don't have any right to be after not showing my face for three years, but I've worried every day since I left."

Olivia sighed, her armed wrapping protectively around her body as she gave a slight shrug. "I'm not sure. What you got rid of is probably two weeks. I just— my doctor wanted to prescribe me something to help sleep. I— I just can't do pills though, and sometimes a glass helps me sleep a little better." She looked down, feeling embarrassment for all the times she resented her mother for drinking, and here she was depending on alcohol to sleep when she hadn't even been through what her mother had. Wait, NO— she wouldn't do this to herself. She knew that all assaults were traumatic, it was a violation she knew this, she had given this speech to so many survivors, and through all of this hell, she knew she had to be kind to herself.

"Olivia, why can't you sleep. Is it the nightmares?" Elliot watched as Olivia stiffened, and he immediately backtracked. "Hey, no, I'm sorry I said we didn't have to talk about it and we don't."

"They always end differently." Olivia fell silent but Elliot just watched her, allowing her to take her time in telling him.

"Sometimes they end more like how it did in real life, but—" She shook her head, clearly trying to stay here and not allow herself to go there. "Sometimes it's different. Today, I… I didn't make it in today's nightmare." Olivia sniffled, her breathing becoming a bit quick and she quickly pushed aside the thoughts to avoid a panic attack.

"Elliot, I can't talk about this, please don't make me." Olivia looked down, trying to control her breathing as Elliot gently approached her.

"Olivia, I'm going to take a seat next to you, and grab your hand if it's okay with you. Only if it is okay? I just want to keep you here with me."

Taking a deep breath, Olivia nodded as she grabbed the hand Elliot reached out to her. "Okay, good. Just take a deep breath. You're here with me okay? Elliot. We're in your kitchen, and you are safe." Her breathing slowed down and she looked up at him, a silent thank you across her lips.

"Elliot, I don't think this is something I can discuss. I talk to my therapist about it, and I think that's all I can handle. I'm sorry."

Elliot shook his head. "Hey no, Olivia, look at me, you do not have to apologize okay?"

She nodded, willing her tears away before speaking again. "If you want, um Fin can give you the file. I just—"

"Do you want me to read the file?" He looked at her, genuine concern for her across his face. She shook her head slightly, the guilt overwhelming her. She'd seen her file, and it only made her a victim. The hospital reports of her injuries, the photos of her injuries and crime scene, the court transcript, she didn't want him seeing her as a victim. "Then I'm not going to ask for the file. If and that's a big if you think you want to tell me about it someday then you can. Just know I'm not pressuring you to and I'm not mad at you for not telling me."

Shocking both herself and him, she stood up wrapping her arms around his neck. This was the most physical contact she'd had with any man outside of Brian since the attack, and she wasn't the least bit frightened by it. Then again, she never felt unsafe around Elliot, not even when he'd fly off the handle at a perp. Ten years hadn't really changed that.

Oliva pulled back, wiping her tears away. "You uh, should get back to Kathy and the kids. I'm sure they're wondering where you are all day."

Elliot chuckled, same old Liv, always putting his family first. "Liv, Kathy, and I have been divorced for a year now. I get Eli on weekends. Works better that way with work. But I can have him whenever I want. Kathy is really great about that."

"Oh El, I'm so sorry." Elliot shook his head,

"Don't be, we both knew it was long overdue. Kathy is seeing someone, he's a good guy, good influence on Eli, we talk football sometimes. Kathy and I are definitely civil, dare I even say friends? Things are good, Olivia."

Olivia smiled at him. "Well, that's good then, good for Eli and the older kids too." Elliot let go of her hand, working up the nerve to ask his next question.

"You know Liv, I'm just on Long Island now. I was thinking— I mean if it was okay with you, maybe we could, uh, hang out sometime. We don't have to if—" Olivia cut him off, wanting to ease his nerves but needing to get her point across too.

"I'd like that. But you have to understand Elliot, it's going to take a bit of time before I believe you're really here for good. I had to deal with losing my best friend once, and I'm not sure I'm ready to risk that feeling again."

"I get it." Elliot nodded, understanding why her guard was up. "I promise I'm going to prove to you, I'm here to stay."

"Good." She wipes her tears again, looking over at the clock on her stove, hating that it was nearing her appointment and she was going to have to say goodbye to him. She had just gotten him back and she wasn't ready for him to leave. "Um, I have an appointment at four. I can't really miss it."

"Oh, yeah, okay." Olivia could see the smile on his face immediately turned to sadness, and she could feel her nerves building in a good way. His disappointment at having to say goodbye too, made her feel slightly less pathetic over her own.

"But, if you were free on Friday, you could um come by maybe… we could do takeout?" She spoke timidly, but let out a laugh when she watched Elliot's grin slowly spread across his face while he nodded his head.

~oOo~

December 2014

Seven months had passed since Elliot first called Olivia again. They had regularly taken up Friday nights as takeout and a movie night. A few times he'd even crashed on her couch when it seemed too late to drive back to Long Island. Olivia hadn't told him the whole story but little by little she'd tell him more details about the four torturous days that beast held her captive. One specific night, she'd opened up to him telling him that he had branded her — cigarettes, keys, whatever he could get hot enough to mark her. He remembers the way his heart raced when she'd started to become panicked, when he tried to stop her, telling her she could tell him another day, she'd looked him in the eye and said he needed to know this, because if he saw them one day — she didn't want him to be taken by surprise.

But as she told him the spots — places where only she'd ever see them. Spots where every time she'd ever be intimate again her partner would see them; and while his heart broke hearing this, he also couldn't not think about the unspoken acknowledgment that wherever they were going; she wasn't against the idea of more than friends.

Last week, he had casually mentioned that he'd be spending Christmas alone. The older kids had significant others, and Kathy and Eli would be in Boston visiting Greg's family for the holiday. He'd told Olivia how it had made him feel good, that Kathy sought out his permission to bring Eli along with her, because it was her holiday with him and she didn't have to do that but, she still considered his feelings in it all. She smiled, telling him how great it had been that they were able to get along so well. Then she looked down, nerves taking over before she quietly asked if Kathy had known they'd been spending time together. Elliot had barked out a laugh, and immediately offered an explanation when he saw the look of confusion and hurt on Olivia's face.

"Yes, Liv, she knows. In fact, when I told her, I believe her words were it's about damn time you listened to me." He smiled at her, then went on to explain how Kathy had been trying to get him to call her long before he actually had, but he'd been too afraid of rejection, and Olivia couldn't help but laugh because dammit Kathy was a silent blessing in the grand scheme of things and she'd made a mental note to thank her.

Olivia had waited until Elliot had gone home that night, before texting him.

"What do you say to changing up our days next week? Instead of Friday to a possible Saturday, maybe Wednesday to a possible Thursday."

It hadn't hit him until he pulled up his calendar to see if that worked when he realized that was Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

He'd smiled before typing out his response. "Sounds like a plan to me."

So that's how they had ended up here, on her couch, sharing a bowl of popcorn while watching cheesy and overly predictable Hallmark movies. By the time the movie had ended, Olivia was tucked safely into Elliot's side, her head resting on his chest. She was so still that he thought she'd fallen asleep but then she slowly looked up at him, catching his eyes before their lips slowly inched toward one another and met in the middle. The kiss started off timidly, nervous. This was new territory for the both of them and they both trod lightly. But when Elliot let a moan escape from the back of his throat, it brought out a side of Olivia he had never seen, and one she hadn't seen in nearly a year. Separating his lips he allowed her tongue to slip between them, finally tasting him. Olivia pulled back, breathing heavy, eyes dark with lust. She stood up and reached her hand out to him.

Elliot grabbed her hand, unsure of where this was leading he let out a "Liv?"

"Take me to bed, Elliot." Concern overwhelmed him and battled hard and fast with lust for dominance.

"Olivia, we don't have to do this. There's no rush."

Olivia bit her lip, looking down and then back up- "Elliot, I want this. I trust you. I'm ready to remember what it was like when intimacy felt good. I promise I'll tell you if I can't handle it."

So he grabbed her hand and allowed her to lead him to the bedroom.

~oOo~

December 2015

The room was dark, nothing but the city lights shining in, giving just enough light for them to see one another. Olivia laid in bed, in nothing but boy short panties, and Elliot's large t-shirt which had now been raised up to rest just under her growing breast. Elliot's head rested on her thighs, his hand laying over her stomach, while he spoke to her five-month pregnant belly.

Olivia's hand rested on top of his, she smiled down at the sight before her, watching as Elliot's sleepy eyes fluttered. He smiled looking up at her. "I think it'll be a girl." Olivia had wanted to wait until the birth to find out the sex, using the defense that so many things that were good in her life had been a surprise, she didn't see a reason in changing that.

She smiled, biting her lip. "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"Call it an instinct. I've yet to be wrong about any of my kids. Besides I can't picture anything but a little girl, with her mother's beautiful brown eyes and hair." He kissed her belly. Feeling their baby move underneath his hand.

"I can't believe this time next year, we're going to be Christmas shopping for a baby."

Elliot smiled, kissing her belly once more, before making his way up and stopping at her breast, peppering kisses over the scars that had faded a bit, but still remained. He looked up, seeing tears in her eyes. "Hey, what is it?"

Olivia shook her head, bringing his lips to her. "I'm just happy." He placed a small kiss on her lips, before laying down next to her and bringing her in close to him, her head resting on his chest. "Blue eyes."

Elliot looked down, to see her smiling at his confusion. "What?"

"I want her to have her Daddy's blue eyes." She smiled up at him, and he brought his lips to her forehead, kissing her.

"Let's just hope you get your wish and she has my hair." Olivia winked at him and he let his head back laughing.

"Thank you, Elliot."

"For what?"

"For being there, your patience, this beautiful life inside of me, for my life. I really love you. Things got better."

"I love you, Olivia"

She kissed his chest before they cuddled into one another and drifted off to sleep.