Harry walked into the kitchen of his favourite seven sibling's family. It was the day after that screw up of a proposal.
"Hey Mr. W." said Harry clicking his fingers in a very casual way at Mr Weasley. Harry sat down. "Or should I call you Pap?"
"You're skating on thin ice boy. I meant what I said." Said Mr Weasley menacingly, but then he smiled as if he was joking, then back to the death stare, joking, evil eye, Happy.
'Ok, Mr Weasley has a split personality disorder.' Thought Harry.
"Hey Wench." Exclaimed George slapping Harry on the back jokingly.
"Stop calling me that." Muttered Harry, every one with the exception of Mr and Mrs Weasley had started calling him a wench.
"Well that's what you are. Aren't you wench?"
"Please stop calling me a wench." Pleaded Harry
"See you answered to the name wench. So there fore you're a wench." Concluded George knowingly.
"Who's a wench?" Asked Fred casually, coming in from the garden with an empty bottle of milk.
"Harry."
"Yeah, Harry there's no denying it you're a wench." Answered Fred putting the milk in the fridge. "Either that or your whipped or gay."
"I'm not gay!" Screamed Harry getting annoyed.
"So you admit it?" chimed in George happily he seemed to be feeding off Harry's annoyance.
"Admit what?"
"That you're gay." Finished Fred also seeming to be feeding off his pain.
"No I said I'm not." Replied Harry getting increasingly annoyed.
"Oh that's what they all say." Said George sitting down on a kitchen chair as if he was waiting for Harry to admit it.
"Mr. Weasley help! Please!"
"I would Harry but you can't deny the facts." Answered Mr Weasley wearily, whilst turning the page of the daily prophet.
"What facts? It doesn't even make sense." Harry was exasperated he almost wondered if all this craziness was a sign.
"Doesn't make sense, or just so damn crazy that it's true?" Countered Fred gleefully.
"Think about it Harry only the really gay people don't admit that they're gay." Added George knowledgeably.
"Well what can I say that would prove that I'm not gay?" asked Harry deciding to play there pathetic little game.
"That you are actually gay..." Answered Fred with a mocking smile on his face. Harry swore they were getting so weird high out of this.
"And that you are only marrying our sister to cover just to cover up your dirty little secret." Added George all to pleased with him self.
"Just like in Broke Back Mountain." Mocked Fred happily.
"Fine." Sighed Harry getting all too tired with this game and all the while wondering where Mrs Weasley was while all of this was happening. "I am actually gay and that I'm marrying Ginny just to cover up my dirty little secret."
"You are what?"
"Oh, Hey Ginny." Greeted Fred cheerily. "Harry was just telling us that he's gay."
Harry froze, they had planned this. Everything down from the to the casual entrances to the timing.
"Ginny I can explain." Said Harry hurriedly, deep down he was a little bit afraid of Ginny. Well every since he saw the cat fight with lavender Brown he wasn't surprised if every one was. She'd put her in a coma.
"Oh really…" Answered Ginny sceptically putting hands on her hips. "Well you better start explain or some ones going to end up in the morgue! And it's not going to be me!"
"Here we can help Ginny we have it all on tape." George pulled out a tape recorder happily and rewound it. Harry felt his stomach drop like a stone as he heard that phrase again.
"So you're gay huh!" Shouted Ginny her eyes welling with angry tears.
"No Ginny it's not like that."
"Oh really than what is it like cause it sounds like your gay to me." she started to clench her fists. Harry stopped breathing.
"Well I'm not I only said that because, because…" Harry couldn't think its funny how the lying part of your brain stops working when ones in a life or death situation. Then it came to Harry. "I said it because I'm appearing in a play!" Thank you Hermione for making me watch the Moulin Rouge thought Harry.
"A Play?" Ginny said with distaste.
"A play?" Repeated Fred and George in unison, it was creepy when they did that.
"Yeah umm… it's called err…" Harry's eye darted to the empty Milk bottle. "It's called The Milk Man's milk bottle an Empty story. It's a musical."
Ginny's weirdly Hulk like anger faded. "Ok, fare enough." Ginny sat down in a kitchen chair calmly. Harry drew breath once again "Now lets plan this engagement party." Harry stopped breathing again.
"Bugger, should have seen were the whole gay conspiracy was going to go." Thought Harry grumpily.
