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Chapter Four
Damn he looked good!
"What are you doing here?" Sara panicked, once she was done being amazed with his good looks. He wasn't supposed to be there. She needed to speak to him before he found out anything on his own.
"You said you wanted talk." He shrugged boyishly, glancing over her shoulder at the mass of marked boxes.
"Okay, let's go to your place."
"That'll work."
Sara snatched her keys and closed the door behind them.
Sara could have guessed what Grissom's home would look like but she would have not been correct. Grissom lived modest townhouse in an elevated area just outside the city. Inside, the tan walls of the living room were covered with rare beautiful butterflies and other small specimens. Dark metal blinds hung on the large windows obscuring what must be a breathtaking view of Las Vegas at night. Equally dark, leather furniture sparely filled the large room. Shelves filled with books and journals lined the walls to complete the décor.
She shivered as she slid onto the brown couch. The room was interesting but felt cold and impersonal.
Grissom busied himself in the kitchen making coffee, needing the time to think. He couldn't figure out what he wanted to do about Sara. Professionally, Sara had proven, thus far, to be invaluable. Grissom could not have asked for a more competent CSI. Her investigative skills were flawless and instinctual. Level three would come speedily. It was only a matter of time before Sara's solve rate would surpass her peers.
Personally, Grissom was flummoxed. He still loved Sara and wanted her badly. Any other line of thought would be untrue and a complete waste of time. On the other hand, Catherine had been correct, seeing Sara everyday was taking its toll, wearing down his resolve and slowly driving him insane. How dare his carefully constructed wall of anger and hurt dissipate so quickly. Those feelings had served as a buffer for so long, Grissom wasn't sure how to proceed without them.
Sara was getting under his skin and seemingly without much effort.
Grissom watched as Sara inspected his butterfly and book collection then took a seat on the couch. She said they needed to talk. Indeed they did. Obviously, she was in town to stay and quite determined to reconnect with him on some level.
Perhaps, he should take what she had to offer. It's not like there was ever going to be anyone else for him. Maybe her reappearance meant that she gotten the youthful follies out of her system and was ready to settle down with him? Maybe she missed him as much as he missed her? The hunger in her eyes confirmed that she felt the same driving need to mate.
Screw it. He was tired of trying to read her mind and was having no luck with her body language other than the obvious. He would take what she was offering. If all she wanted was to bed him, then he would be a willing participant for as long as she would have him. If she loved him, well that would be an added bonus. When she left, and he knew that she eventually would, well he'd worry about that when the time came. Grissom was tired of being alone.
Yeah - they needed to talk. He didn't need the details of her betrayal, he only needed to know if she was finished wandering. Sowing her seeds, so to speak. In a way, he was glad that she had a chance to live out her youth. Now, he needn't feel too guilty for saddling her with the burdens that would come with his increasing age. She did come to him, so she must have considered these things.
Grissom handed Sara a steaming mug of coffee before taking a seat next to her on the couch. Of course, there was the loveseat and recliner available but Grissom was ready for a more direct approach. Sara didn't seem to mind the closeness.
"Grissom," Sara began uncertainly. "I know it's been difficult with me here after the way things ended between us."
"You mean, since you left me." Grissom amended without rancor.
"Yes, since I left you. I wanted to explain about that."
"Don't."
"Excuse, me?"
"Don't. We need to move on from that. I assume your coming here was not an accident?"
"No, it wasn't. I've been following your career."
"I suspected as much. Then you came here to see me? Get closure? Or was the move purely career driven?"
"All of the above, I suppose. Las Vegas has the number two lab in the country. I'd be foolish to pass up the opportunity. But mainly, I came here to see you and find some peace."
"What does that mean? Are you interested in pursuing a relationship with me? Be honest, Sara. I need to know what your intentions are."
"I - I don't know. I guess I wanted to know if - if you still liked me." Sara finished with a shrug. Verbalizing her personal feelings had never been a strong suit.
"If I still like you? Sara, I'm still in love with you."
Sara sat the mug on the coffee table harder than she intended, then leaned back on the couch stunned. She imagined it would be harder than this. Never did she think Grissom would be willing to give her another chance.
"Grissom, I love you too."
"That's good to know."
They sat facing one another grinning like Cheshire cats for several minutes before Sara spoke. "I'm so sorry, Grissom. I never meant to hurt you. I swear."
"I won't lie and say that I wasn't devastated when you left but in some ways, I understand and I forgive you."
Grissom pulled Sara close to him and whispered in her ear. "Don't leave me again, Sara."
Sara gasped from the closeness of his mouth to her ear and the forcefulness of his words.
"Never. Never again, Grissom. But there's more I need to tell you-"
"Later." Grissom silenced her with a searing kiss.
Grissom woke to cool air against is naked form.
"Sara?" He called sleepily.
"I'm here. Go back to sleep." Her voice returned in the darkness.
"Come back to bed."
When she did not respond, he leaned over and flicked on the lamp on the nightstand.
Sara was fully dressed.
"You're leaving." Grissom stated the obvious.
"I- I didn't want to wake you."
"You were going to leave without a word." His voice was full of pain and accusation. Both knew he was referring to her current and previous actions.
"I'll call a cab."
"Damn it, Sara. I'll take you home!" Grissom swore as he flung the bed sheets to one side. "Will you at least give me a chance to shower?"
Sara nodded and left the room.
Grissom was shaking with anger by the time he stepped into the shower stall. What in the hell was he doing? He should have known better than to trust her again. When would he ever learn?
The hot spray of water soaked his skin, taking away the chill that had invaded his body and soul as he thought of her loving words during their lovemaking.
Grissom tilted his head and watched the water glide over his angles and down the drain, feeling his anger and bitterness slip down the path with it.
She wasn't going anywhere.
Maybe leaving his bed and his home but she was not leaving Las Vegas. This morning was probably as awkward for Sara as it was for him considering their past.
If he wanted to solidify his relationship with Sara, then he needed to get past his bitterness and insecurities. He was sure she harbored plenty of guilt and he needed to relieve her of that and rebuild the trust.
He grabbed the shower gel and cloth and made swift work of his shower. Sara made the first move by returning to Vegas and securing employment at the lab. The next move was up to him. He wanted Sara back, for good.
Grissom dressed quickly and tried to push back an uneasy feeling that settled in his stomach.
Probably just nerves.
Sara was leafing through a periodic journal when he entered the living room.
"Would you like some coffee or tea?"
She spun, startled. "Uh - no. No, thank you."
"Then, let's sit for a moment." He gestured towards the couch. "I don't want to leave things this way."
Sara sat stiffly on the edge if the couch, then jumped up as soon as Grissom sat down.
"Sara?"
"I think I should go." She decided while pacing nervously.
"Sara."
Sara stopped moving and turned to Grissom. Something in his tone calmed her.
"Stay."
Sara smiled and took a seat next to Grissom on the couch.
Grissom was pinning down a matured blowfly to a cork board when the hairs on the back of his neck began to bristle. Smiling, he looked up to meet Sara's steady gaze.
"How's it going?" Sara returned his smile and ventured to Grissom's Linear Regression Table.
"It's going. Actually, I'm just about done. How about you?"
"I have some papers to drop off to Brass. Warrick's headed there too, I'll hitch a ride with him. So, we can talk this morning after shift?"
"Yes, we can talk." Grissom grinned as he remembered their last attempt the day before to 'talk.'
"Really, Grissom. We absolutely, must talk this morning."
His grin faded as he noted her seriousness. "Yes. Anything the matter, Sara?"
"Nothing's wrong, but I just need to discuss a few things with you this morning that cannot wait any longer."
"Did you want to come by or meet me at the diner?" Grissom did not bother to suggest Sara's home. She seemed uncomfortable with him there last time.
"I'll be over after shift." Sara replied then leaned over further to inspect his work. In the process, her breast grazed his bare forearm.
Grissom barely suppressed a moan as he sucked in the light scent of her hair.
"Good job." She added then sauntered out of the room.
"Yes, we'll talk." He mused out loud.
"Excuse me? I'm looking for Sara Sidle."
"Do you have an appointment?" Judie the receptionist peered over her glasses suspiciously.
"Well, no. My name is Abby. Sara's mother if that helps."
"Indeed. Let me page her." Task complete, Judie stepped around the desk. "Aren't you the cutest things I've ever seen!"
Two sets of curious eyes stared back at her.
"Is there somewhere we can sit?" Abby questioned.
"Oh, sure. Why don't you take the little darlings to the break room? There's a soda and snack machine in there."
"Thank you."
Abigail Sidle hustled her charges into the glass encased room.
"Would you two like some apple juice?"
Both heads bobbed furiously as Abby dug through her large shoulder bad for change.
Catherine was on her way to Trace when she spotted a child wandering the hall.
"Well, hello there. What's you name?" Her maternal instincts kicking in.
"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."
Catherine smiled at the girl she guessed was no more than seven or eight years old but probably tall for her age. Her brown hair was shoulder length with curls that danced wildly with every movement of her head.
"My name's Catherine Willows. I work here." She removed her ID badge and offered it as proof.
Catherine watched as the young girl studied, then ran a finger over the ID as if she were committing it to memory. Satisfied, she handed the badge back. "My name is Gillian."
"That's a nice name. Do your friends call you Gil?"
"No, they call me Gillian."
Okay. Catherine tried another approach. "Are you here with your Mommy or Daddy?"
"My Mom works here." She announced proudly.
Now we're getting somewhere. "And what's your mother's name?" She asked but realized that she no longer had Gillian's attention.
Following her line of vision, Catherine found Gillian's intense gaze focused on Grissom. He was walking down the hall with his head buried deep into a file, glasses in hand when Gillian walked up to him.
"Daddy?"
Grissom's head jerked up confused and Catherine almost hit the floor.
Grissom looked down to find a small frame with blue eyes that mirrored his own. Her curls bounced as she cocked her head to one side to study him.
She was beautiful. Definitely a heartbreaker. It was moments like these that Grissom regretted never having children of his own.
"Hi. Honey, are you lost?" Grissom asked, sliding his glasses on for a closer look.
"No, I'm not lost. You're Gilbert Grissom."
That feeling in Grissom's stomach returned full force as he leaned forward with a frown. There was something…
"Gillian!"
Everyone turned towards the voice of an older woman making her way down the hall, a young boy in tow behind her. "I told you to stay put!"
The woman stopped in her tracks about half way and took in the scene. She gasped as realization set in.
"Abigail Sidle?" Grissom asked, also shocked. He had never met her but he had seen enough photos to recognize the person that gave birth to the woman he loved.
"Gilbert." She acknowledged unnecessarily. Obviously, she recognized him also.
Grissom's brain was still processing the scene when his eyes landed on the boy. It was his turn to gasp. The child was a splitting image of Sara.
Sara had a son. The thought alone hit Grissom like a sledge hammer to the back of the head. She has a son.
Then he looked at the girl who had now moved quietly to the boy's side and took his hand, protectively. His sister. Sara had a daughter too.
Of course, Sara would have moved on with her life after him. She was still very young, he rationalized. He was the only one faithful to a dream. When did she marry? Why keep her children a secret. Why…
Grissom's mind worked furiously as he pushed aside the feelings of agony and betrayal and quickly began to examine the facts. Sara had two children- very close in age. Her personnel file never mentioned her being divorced or ever married for that matter but that certainly did not discount children.
He studied the children. Probably, seven or eight years old. Sara must have gotten pregnant immediately after she left him…unless? He stared openly at the boy. He's Sara. Then moved to the girl. She was staring right back at him almost as if she was waiting for him to figure it out.
He took in her delicate features. The familiar blues eyes smiled at him and he got it. She called me 'Daddy' as if she said it everyday.
He moved forward on shaky legs. "Twins?" Addressing the pintsize female version of him.
She nodded. "I'm Gillian and this is Gilbert." Gillian introduced them then tugged her shy brother from behind her.
"Gil." The boy grumbled, irritated with his sisters introduction.
"Holy Hell!" Catherine swore.
