This was difficult for me to write. But I think it turned out okay - a little wordy but okay. Thanks for the reviews and please, keep reviewing. You have no idea how your reviews help me through writer's block at times. Don't own CSI and all that. But, I will we the proud owner of the CSI Season Five DVD at the end of the month.

Stay

Chapter Nine

Grissom's Townhouse…

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you all morning and you turned off your cell."

"Good afternoon to you too, Catherine." Grissom returned, not bothering to hide his irritation. His patience was well worn after meeting with his attorney, but he figured he should at least return one of several missed calls.

"Whatever. Where are you? You disappeared from work."

"Currently, I'm sitting in my driveway." He paused long enough to turn down the volume on the phone. "I had a meeting this morning. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Don't get all prissy with me. A note or page would have sufficed. Anyway, have you seen the Director lately?"

"Briefly yesterday, why?"

"Has he said anything to you about Sara?"

"No." Grissom massaged his temples in an effort to preempt the headache he knew would accompany this conversation.

"Don't you think it's odd that Carvello hasn't confronted you about your relationship with Sara?"

"I suppose, though confront, would not be the term I would use. I'm sure he'll get around to it."

"I don't like it. He knows you two have a past and hasn't said a word. Something's not right."

"Catherine," He pinched the bridge of his nose, another countermeasure to ward off the onset of a migraine "It's not like I'm hiding my relationship with Sara or the children. I'll hear from him soon enough. Besides, he's the one that hired her, obviously the Director didn't do his homework."

"Maybe. On the other hand, it's not like Sara's been very forthcoming with the truth. We both know that she can keep a secret."

"Is there a point to this conversation?" Grissom spat defensively. He was in no mood to justify Sara's actions. Actions that he had yet to comprehend himself.

"The point, is that the Director was standing in the hallway along with you and everyone else that day. Wake up Gil! When the shit hits the fan, you are the only one with everything to loose. You need to confront Carvello so this isn't hanging over your head. Your relationship with Sara isn't expressly forbidden in the Policies but isn't exactly ethical for obviously reasons. He may try to use this to manipulate Sara. Not dealing with it won't make it go away!" Catherine took a deep breath to calm herself. "Look, I'm just trying to look out for you. Sara's a great CSI and I trust her to watch my back in the field but that's where it ends. There's more to her sudden reappearance and I don't think she's a woman you should completely trust. And I just plain don't trust Carvello."

Catherine's words, however true, stung and left Grissom feeling disappointed and sad. He had hoped that he count on his friend's support concerning Sara.

He wasn't in complete denial or foolish enough to think that this wouldn't all become an issue at some point, but his overtaxed mind could only process so much at a time. Grissom had hoped that he and Sara would have reached some sort of understanding by then. So that when the 'shit hit the fan' as Catherine so eloquently phrased it, his family would be able to present a united front. Presently, they were no where and the twins were still leaving in a few hours.

"Gil," Catherine's voice was softer with worry for her friend.

"I appreciate your concern, Catherine. I do. I will handle it…Just…Don't borrow trouble, okay? I'm going to bed." He pressed the end button before she could respond.

Inside, exhausted, Grissom stripped down to his underwear. He needed at least four hours of sleep before he went to say good bye to the children. The beginnings of a migraine flared from the mere thought of his children leaving.

When Grissom closed his eyes, he could still smell the soft vanilla scent from Gillian's brown curls. He could see her bright blue eyes dancing when she laughed and chatted on excitedly about any and everything. Grissom remembered that she preferred to not eat meat and loved the feel of his beard against her cheek. And he could hear his little girl's husky voice, so much like her mother's, urging him to read just one more chapter of her favorite text as she firmly grasped his hand fighting sleep.

Grissom could feel son's ever watchful gaze. Gil was a child of few words who rarely initiated conversation, but spoke volumes with his body language and large expressive eyes. A trait, Grissom knew firsthand, would please his paternal grandmother and prove useful to the non hearing.

When the occasion arose, Gil shyly, almost hesitantly displayed a vast knowledge on any subject that held his interest. Like times when they played with cars or action figures, Gil would describe in great detail the toy's origin and history. A definite stickler for fine details, loved baseball and his favorite color was green.

Both children has a natural curiosity which made learning fun for eager minds. Each shared a passion for reading. Gillian loved reading about animals, the earth and insects - though she had no desire to touch them. She did, however, take to her Daddy's tarantula immediately. Gil on the other hand, did not mind scrounging for bugs, but unlike his father, he was more interested in pinning them down to sketch them than dissecting the creatures.

The twins' personalities where so different and yet they shared an immense closeness. Gil's personality was eerily similar to Grissom's as a child. Intense, would be an accurate description. Comfortable with his own company, the boy could spend hours in contented silence. In contrast of his father, however, Gil welcomed the attention from his protective sister, made friends easily and at times played well with other children. Grissom was pleased with the balance.

Gillian was a wonder. Who knew where her open and carefree personality came from? Certainly not from her mother or father. She sort of reminded Grissom of Catherine. His little fireball talked a mile a minute and asked a questions to the point of exhaustion, but he loved every bit of it.

The impact Gil and Gillian had taken on his life in such a short period of time was immeasurable. They were everything he always wanted but thought he could never have. Grissom's heart ached with the thought of them not being near. How would he survive without his babies?

He still was not sure what he should do concerning any legal action. The inclination to follow his attorney's advice, wait for school to close out, was strong. On the other hand, the selfish and mistrustful part of him was afraid to let them go - even for a little while.

Sighing heavily, he pulled himself up from the bed and trudged to his office. There was no point in laying down, sleep would not come with his mind racing. He sat down to his computer and logged on to complete a task he should taken care of days ago.

Meanwhile at CSI…Director's Office…

"I appreciate your promptness in returning the survey."

"No problem." Catherine responded in kind with a smile.

"Is there anything else I can do for you Ms. Willows?" Carvello knew there would be more. No one voluntarily visited the Director.

"Actually, yes. I wanted to let you know how well CSI Sidle is progressing." She hurried on when it appeared that he would interrupt. "Sara is an energetic and thorough investigator. She's been a great asset to the team. You couldn't have made a better choice."

"Well…thank you, Ms. Willows. I'm happy to hear that Ms. Sidle has adjusted well. I appreciate your candor. However, you are aware that Dr. Grissom is responsible for evaluations?"

"Of course. But I figure it couldn't hurt to hear it from a member of the team."

"Of course. Positive feedback is always good news with a new hire."

"I agree. You were very lucky to find her. Were there…many other applicants?"

The Director was unclear as to where the conversation was heading and that made him uncomfortable. He felt like he was being investigated. "Our lab is number two in the country, Ms. Willows. There were hundreds of applications." He began to drum his fingers impatiently on the desktop. "Ms. Sidle, however, possessed a certain quality that I felt could only enhance and benefit this lab. I've seen her in action. It wasn't a difficult decision."

"So, you knew Sara previously?"

His fingers ceased movement. Catherine eyed his suspiciously.

"I like to familiarize myself with all potential employees. Now, if there isn't anything else?" The Director snapped turning his attention to a stack of papers in front of him.

"No Sir." Catherine frowned at the abrupt dismissal. "Thank you for your time."

She closed the door behind her when he did not respond.

Grissom's home…

Glancing at the clock, Grissom knew that his Mother would be on line about this time of day. He was not disappointed when an IM, Instant Message, popped up as soon as he logged on.

Rodin4me: How are you son? It's been three weeks.

BugMan01: I knew you would be on line. First chance I've had, a lot has been going on.

Rodin4me: Like?

Victoria Grissom was always one to get straight to the point.

Bugman01: Remember Sara Sidle?

Rodin4me: Of course, Dear.

Bugman01: She's here in Las Vegas. (Grissom's fingers paused, before pressing send, on the keyboard while he collected his thoughts.)

Rodin4me: Today Gilbert. What about Sara?

Bugman01: She's here in Las Vegas. Sara was hired as a new CSI on my team.

Rodin4me: When? How do you feel about that?

Bugman01: About two months ago. I don't know how I feel.

Rodin4me: Have you spoken on why she left?

His fingers flew over the keys in irritation.

Bugman01: I know why she left, Mother. I don't need a diagram.

Rodin4me: Don't take that tone with me, Gilbert!

Rightfully chastised, Grissom took a deep breath.

Bigman01: Sorry, Mom. I'm just under a lot of stress right now.

Rodin4me: I imagine so. Migraines?

Bugman01: Yes.

Victoria waited patiently for her son to continue.

Bugman01: Mom?

Rodin4me: Yes, Dear. Giving you time to find the words. I'm here when you're ready.

Grissom sat a few minutes more, contemplating how much he wanted to discuss with his mother. Finally, he decided to be completely open. He needed her input and valued her opinion.

Bugman01: Mom?

Rodin4me: Go on.

Bugman01: Sara found out, shortly after she left, that she was pregnant. We have two beautiful children, Gilbert and Gillian. They're perfect, Mom. I love them dearly and I know you will too.

Rodin4me: GRANDCHILDREN? TWINS?

He chuckled out loud at his Mother's words.

Bugman01: Yes, Mom. Finally, grandchildren.

Rodin4me: I can not express how incredibly pleased I am. For a while, I thought your tarantula would be my only grandchild. Phew! I had even considered spending time with that thing. When will I get to meet my grandchildren? Do you have pictures? Scan them now - I can't wait to see them! I bet they are adorable. I'll plan to visit in a few days.

Bugman01: I'll scan the school photos when we are finish here. Hold off on any plans to visit just yet. Sara's mother is taking them back to California tonight.

Rodin4me: I don't understand. You said that Sara is working for you. She lives there in Vegas, does she not? Why are the children leaving? What's going on?

Bugman01: They're going back to finish school.

Rodin4me: And then they'll be returning to you for good?

Bugman01: That's the plan.

Rodin4me: Are you certain that they will return? How do you know that she won't disappear for another eight years?

Grissom flinched at the words. It wasn't anything he hadn't already thought himself, but hearing it from someone else, especially his Mother, bothered him. Was he putting too much trust in Sara? Maybe Catherine was right?

Bugman01: My attorney seems to think that Gil and Gillian will return as promised. What would be the point of bringing them here to meet and develop a bond with me, only to send them away forever?

Rodin4me: I don't know dear. I'm still unclear on why she left from the beginning and why she returned now after all these years. You know Sara, if you say that they will return than I believe you. How are you handling these turn of events? I know that this must be difficult for you.

Bugman01: It's been surprisingly wonderful with the children. I love every minute with them.

Rodin4me: I always knew that you would be a wonderful father, given the chance. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I'm happy for you, Honey. What about Sara? Are you…together?

Grissom read his mother's words several times as he once again contemplated what to convey.

Bugman01: Honestly, I'm not sure what we are.Our focus right now is with the children. I've missed so much of there lives. I'm not sure if I can forgive Sara for that.

Rodin4me: I understand. However, you need to find a way to work it out. The stability of your children are at risk. You know from your own childhood what a bad family environment can do to children.

Bugman01: I have no complaints. You did an extraordinary job raising me.

Rodin4me: Thank you. At times I couldn't help wonder if I were the reason that you closed yourself off emotionally.

Bugman01: I didn't close myself off, Mother. Why does everyone think that I don't feel anything? I feel, Mother. I feel deeply.

Rodin4me: I know that, Gil. Your capacity for love is great. I meant that there is still so much more.

Bugman01: You think I won't be able to open myself up to the children? I'm disappointed, Mother.

Rodin4me: You know damn well that is not what I meant. You are a wonderful father. Of this I am certain. I'm talking about Sara.

Bugman01: What about Sara?

Rodin4me: You have an opportunity to work out your past problems and start fresh. You've been given a second chance. She's not perfect, Gil. No one is.

Bugman01: What makes you think I want a second chance?

Rodin4me: Why have you mourned the loss of the relationship you had with her for so long? Why haven't you found someone else to be with, to marry and start a family?

Bugman01: I don't know how to respond. I don't think I can discuss this right now.

Rodin4me: I understand and respect that, however, you need to discuss it with someone. You're so angry, Gil. You have to let it go.

Buman01: It's not as easy as you make it seem.

Rodin4me: I know you Gil. The scientist in you will never let go of the hurt and betrayal you feel unless you find an explanation. Find your answers quickly or learn to accept the what you already know. Talk to Sara and listen. Listen to Sara, to your heart and to your children. Make peace with your demons before the pain and anger dictates any more of your life.

Grissom mulled over his mother's statement. The truth in her words struck him hard. When had he become such a bitter man? He began to type slowly as his eyes clouded with unshed tears.

Bugman01: I don't know where to start.

Head in hands, he leaned over the keyboard. And for the first time, in his adult life, Grissom cried. He cried for the loss of his Mother's hearing and toll it took on her marriage. He cried for the gaping hole of insecurity created when his Father walked out on them. The strange and disgusted looks from his peers growing up as well as the hurtful words that accompanied them. Grissom sobbed from the pain of a broken heart when the only woman he had ever loved and given himself to completely, cheated on him. The utter loss and betrayal he felt when Sara threw away their love, plans for the future and left him for a younger man. And finally, his continuous flow of tears represented the countless, irreplaceable moments he missed with his children.

Rodin4me: It's moments like these that I miss you the most.

Her words appeared on screen some five or so minutes later.

Reading her words made him cry harder. He too longed for his Mother's comforting touch.

After several more long minutes, Grissom began to type again with shaky fingers.

Bugman01: I miss you too, Mom.

Grissom smiled when his mother sent a smiley face in response.

Rodin4me: What will you do now, Son?

Bugman01: I don't know. I still love her. But, I'm not sure that I can even trust her again. I feel like she's…I don't know.

Rodin4me: Does she love you?

Bugman01: Sara says that she loves me.

Rodin4me: Well, I'd say that's a start. Work it out, Dear. So...GRANDCHILDREN!

Grissom laughed again out loud.

Bugman01: Yes Mom. They can't wait to meet you.

Rodin4me: Then it's settled. I'm moving to Las Vegas.

Bugman01: You're moving to Las Vegas?

Rodin4me: Yes. I need to take care of a few things here first.

Bugman01: Just like that? You're selling your gallery and moving to Las Vegas?

Rodin4me: Is there another language you would like for me to use, Gilbert? I'm moving to be close to my son and grandchildren.

Bugman01: That would nice. The children will love it.

Rodin4me: And you?

There was substantial pause as he tried to find the right words.

Bugman01: It would make my life complete. I love you, Mom.

Rodin4me: I love you too. Now let me go, I can hardly see from the tears. Give a hug and kiss to Gil and Gillian. And don't forget to scan the photos, I've got some bragging to do!

Grissom scanned photos of the twins, e-mailed them to his mother, logged off and headed for the shower, feeling subdued. He pondered his mother's words as showered and dressed. His mother was right. He needed to talk to Sara. Get their issues out of the way. It was the only way to move forward and find peace. He certainly did not want their problems to affect the children.

Snagging his cellular telephone on the way to the kitchen, he hit speed dial number one.

"Hello?"

"Sara, it's Grissom."

"I know. I thought you'd be sleeping. Is…everything alright? You'll be here later won't you?" She questioned nervously.

"I couldn't sleep. And yes, I will be over to see the children."

There was an awkward silence.

"Grissom? Are you okay?"

She heard a heavy sigh before he responded. "No, not really."

"I'm coming over."

"Okay." He whispered to the line that had already gone dead.